THESE VIOLENT DELIGHTS
xxiv. FOLLOW THE LIGHT
❝WELCOME TO MEMORY LANE.❞

FOLLOW THE LIGHT. It was what Anastasia had been told by a set of mysterious words that had appeared out of thin air on a nearby vehicle. She could see the burns the message had left in the car's paint, but she could no longer make out the words. For a few silent moments, she felt as if she had lost her mind. Her leg must have gotten infected due to improper stitching, causing a fever that made her delirious. It was a hallucination. It had to be... Right?

Her gaze trailed back in the direction she had come from, staring at the glowing light in the distance. It pulsated every so often, reminding her of a heartbeat as it flickered. It felt as if the world was playing games with her now, setting her up for a vicious trap where ravenous creatures would be waiting to sink their teeth into her skin. But, there wasn't much else Anastasia could do. Her plan to head to the Charlotte Hotel and hope to find a rift had been foiled. She was stuck in the year 1987, apparently. There was no Charlotte Hotel yet. Heading toward the light was the only logical solution. And, if that didn't work out, Anastasia could add it to the list of all her other bad decisions.

She began in the direction of the light, trying to calculate how far away it was. The light was only a speck in the distance, meaning she had several blocks to walk. With all the walking she had already done that day, exhaustion was slowly starting to seep into her soul. But, she kept moving despite the newfound pain her feet were in. She kept her eyes peeled for the creatures, listening for their clicks too. The world was quiet, except for the whistling wind. The jacket she had stolen from the café blocked out the cold, thankfully. Yet, it still nipped at her cheeks and nose. She pushed her hands into her pockets, feeling the cool steel of the switchblade. At least, she had something to protect herself with.

There were still a few things on her list she needed, but the most important was finding a suitable weapon to rival the creatures and edible food to make sure she wouldn't starve to death. Her stomach continued to growl, reminding her she didn't have enough energy to trek through half of the city again. She could feel her hands trembling in her pockets, earning a sigh from her lips. It felt as if her own body was betraying her. But, she had to keep moving.

She was only able to make it a few blocks until she slowed to a crawl. Her movements were slow, using the passing buildings as support. Her legs trembled, barely able to hold her own weight. The backpack she wore felt as if it was full of bricks, making her want to leave it behind. She needed a break. She needed━━

ARE YOU TIRED?

A gasp left her lips, pushing herself off the brick wall as she stared wide-eyed at the new words burned into the side of the building. She didn't know what to think, continuing to stare with her lips slightly parted. The words began to fade, dimming into nothing but scorch marks. It was a hallucination! Anastasia knew it had to be a hallucination, continuing her walk as she tried to forget she had seen it. She kept her eyes low, avoiding the walls.

DON'T BE AFRAID. YOU CAN TRUST ME.

The words appeared at her feet, difficult to ignore. She took a small step back, staring at the embers that flickered upward from the message. What was she supposed to do? She felt... strange... talking to writing, unsure who or what she was talking to. But, they said they were trustworthy and it wasn't as if Anastasia had options.

"How can I trust you?" she asked, wanting the words to give a reasonable explanation. After all, this world had only tried to kill her thus far.

IS THERE ANYONE ELSE HERE TRYING TO HELP YOU?

Anastasia scoffed, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. "I could always ask the monsters for help. I'm sure they're great with directions."

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

She sighed.

"I... I suppose... I am tired..." Anastasia mumbled softly, frowning. Perhaps, she truly had lost her mind. She looked around, wondering if she could find a source for the messages. But, there was no one around except for herself. She cleared her throat, feeling how dry it was. But, she wanted to save her water in case she wouldn't come across anymore for a while. "I've been walking all day," she confessed, taking a seat at a nearby bus stop. "And, the light you want me to follow is still miles away. It's going to take hours with my leg."

FIND SOMEWHERE TO REST.

The words had appeared in the middle of the street, large and visible from her spot on the bench. She looked around, making sure there weren't any creatures who had heard the sparks of the message. But, it was just her and... the disembodied person.

"Where?" Anastasia asked, wondering if they knew somewhere safe. Unless, it was the world that was speaking to her. But, that didn't seem like a viable theory since everything in this world had been trying to kill her thus far. Deciding to help now felt out of character, nor did she want to trust the world that had haunted her since she was a child. "This whole world is a wasteland."

Instead of words, a large arrow encompassing the entire street appeared. It pointed to a small shop across the street, causing it to shine bright as if it was a Christmas tree. It sparkled against the darkness, making Anastasia smile at the warm glow. It reached her across the street, giving her enough energy to stand to her feet. But, the light only lasted for a few moments before it faded into pitch black.

Anastasia walked across the street, peering into the store through the windows. It was a small convenience store, being able to make out four aisles in the darkness. Her hand gripped the handle, pulling the door open to peek inside. She needed to make sure it's safe before she could relax, not knowing what could be hiding in the shadows. If she was back in her Gotham, the most likely thing to find in the shadows was the elusive Batman. Oh, how she wished she had someone like Batman by her side in the current world she was in.

No, that was a selfish thing to wish for. Anastasia knew, not wanting to drag anyone else into her world of horrors. Her suffering was her suffering alone. It was terrible enough she had dragged Laura into her mess. Now, she had to do everything in her power to save Laura. Wherever she was, Anastasia was determined even if it would cost her everything. She didn't want anyone else's blood on her hands.

First, she peered around the aisles and into the back office to make sure she was truly alone. It was a mess in the shop, things were knocked off the shelves and scattered all over the floor. There were cracks in the floor and walls, but no vines anywhere she could see. Other than that, the store seemed relatively untouched by the chaos outside. Once she determined the store was safe, she made it back to the front. She closed the glass door, locking it with a small mechanism near the top. There was nothing outside too, allowing her to let out a soft breath.

SAFE AND SOUND.

Anastasia smiled, nodding her head at the words that appeared on the wall behind the cash register. "Safe and sound," she echoed. For now. She looked around the store, trying to make her way in the darkness. Something else she desperately needed was a flashlight, considering most of the world was shrouded in darkness. "Maybe I can find something I can use here."

She moved slowly, looking around the shelves. Most of it was arts and crafts, stuff she had no use for at the moment. She sighed, feeling her stomach growl again as it twisted in knots. It was a feeling she could only ignore for now, but it was a problem looming in the distance.

HUNGRY?

She hummed, nodding her head. The message had appeared on the same wall behind the cash register, forcing Anastasia to focus on the shadows. For a moment, she felt as if she could see a figure standing there. But, it was only a trick of the light from the burning words. She sighed, staring at the words as they began to fade. "I haven't found anything to eat," Anastasia pointed out, wondering if there even was any suitable food in this world. In any grocery she had come across, the food was rotten even in sealed packaging. "Though, I suppose I am fine for now. A human being can survive for a month without food, I think."

I'M SORRY.

"Don't apologize. It isn't your fault," Anastasia whispered, shaking her head. She messed with a plastic carton of thumbtacks, hearing it rattle as she shook it. Without the constant worry of being torn to shreds, her body had begun to relax. The pain of her leg wounds was making its presence known, earning a shaky breath from the woman. "I should redress my leg, make sure it isn't infected."

GOOD IDEA.

Anastasia didn't dare admit it, but having someone (even if it was someone she couldn't see and most likely a figment of her mind) by her side made her feel safer. She stumbled toward the office behind the cash register, opening the door to reveal a dust-filled room. Taking a seat in front of a desk with a few monitors and stacked paperwork, she lifted her leg to put on top of the table. Anastasia shrugged off her backpack, opening it to pull out the clean bandages she had gotten from the café. She rolled up her ripped pant leg, knowing she had to replace her jeans soon. The creatures had ripped her clothing, but it was fine... for now.

The bandages had soaked through, drenched with a mixture of blood and sweat. She winced, peeling the sticky bandages off her skin. Her hands trembled, staring at the thick black stitches. It had been a decent job, considering it was her first time doing stitches. But, she had still bled enough to ruin the bandages. Taking out the half-empty water bottle, she poured some onto a clean rag. She dabbed at her skin, trying to ignore how much it hurt. Once her wounds were clean enough, she wrapped a fresh bandage around it. Lowering her leg to the ground, she leaned back in her seat. Digging through her backpack, she pulled out the painkillers and took two more pills.

She closed her eyes, dozing off without realizing it. Her breaths were slow, unchanging as she slept soundly. The world around her had calmed to a whisper, almost as if it knew its only occupant was trying to rest.

Still, her sleep only lasted for a few hours. Anastasia woke to music playing, quiet and simple notes that you would expect from a music box. It was a melody she recognized, but one she could not place. She slowly sat up, yawning as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Her limbs ached from sleeping in an uncomfortable position, but her body still thanked her for the rest. Standing on her feet, she listened to the soft music. It sounded both near and distant, buzzing within her mind along with the world outside.

"What's going on?" she asked softly, looking around for the words she had grown accustomed to. It felt as if she had someone guiding her, someone looking out for her. It was better than being alone.

THE MEMORY IS CALLING OUT TO YOU. FOLLOW THE LIGHT.

She frowned, confused about what the person meant by 'memory' but she decided not to question it. Putting on the backpack, she left the small office. Her hand brushed against the switchblade in her pocket, causing her to let out a relieved sigh. It was the one thing she didn't want to lose. With one last look around the store for anything useful, she decided it was time to continue her journey to the light.

This time, she had the light and the music playing in the distance to guide her trek. It was easier to walk with her newfound energy, grateful she had taken a break in the arts and crafts store. Her leg felt better, dulling down to a sharp sting every step she took. It was something she could ignore, getting used to it as the seconds ticked by. Her movements were faster, wanting to know what the light was.

And within the hour, Anastasia had made it to the apartment complex where the light was originating from. She stared at the window on the third floor where the light was emitting from, staring at the apartments that resembled more of a design fit for a motel. The music box continued to play, creating a sweet melody. Heading up the concrete steps, she made it to the third floor where the music played louder. Still, the melody was pleasant and Anastasia could hear the mechanical clicks of the music box. The light from the apartment glowed, allowing her to bask in the warmth. It felt... safe.

She peeked inside the window, seeing shadows of the two people inside. But, she was unable to see them from where she was standing outside. A frown appeared upon her lips. "There's other people in this world?"

NO. NOT REAL. ONLY A MEMORY, YOURS.

"My memory?" Anastasia asked, not understanding. She stared at the words, watching as the glowing embers faded. There wasn't anything she could see looking through the window, so Anastasia decided to head inside.

She didn't understand at all. Taking a step inside felt as if she was back in her Gotham, looking at the apartment that was in pristine condition. The lights worked, illuminating the whole apartment. It was homey, set up in bright colors that reminded her of the 80s. There was a TV playing a sitcom in the living room, the laugh track echoing throughout the room. She looked outside the door, seeing the same darkness common to the other world. Apparently, she had stepped into a... memory?

"How... How is this possible?" Anastasia asked, hoping the other person would have an answer. But, they didn't respond.

Instead, she heard actual voices coming from one of the bedrooms. Her hands trembled, gulping as she slowly made her way toward one of the bedrooms where the voices were coming from. She peered inside, seeing two people ━━ a dark-haired man and a blonde woman ━━ standing over a crib as they cooed at their child inside. The woman was tense, shaking a rattle at the giggling baby. They hadn't noticed her yet, unaware someone was watching them.

"What if they find us?" the woman whispered, making Anastasia frown. She took a step inside the room, a few feet behind them. A soft gasp left her lips as she stood frozen, recognizing the two people in front of her ━━ Charlotte and William Lovejoy.

Her father placed a hand on Charlotte's shoulder, giving her a warm smile. "It's been years, Char," he reassured, placing a gentle kiss against the woman's forehead. "They won't find us."

"The Wayne's and Arkham's are vicious people, William!" Charlotte reminded him, turning to face him fully as her green eyes welled with unshed tears. Her hands were tight around the wooden crib, terrified. Anastasia could only assume they were talking about the experiments that happened at the Arkham Asylum, considering the Wayne and Arkham family funded those. She sniffled, shaking her head. "I... I... don't want them to take Anastasia... If they find out, they'll use her like they used us."

"They won't," William reassured, pulling Charlotte into a tight embrace as he caressed her hair. She sobbed quietly in his arms, afraid for her baby's future in the cruel world they lived in. Even her father's expression was somber, barely holding an emotion. "I won't let them hurt any of us ever again."

"Mama?" Anastasia called out, taking a step forward. She wanted to reach out, speak to her mother who she had lost almost two decades ago. It was so... surreal... seeing her again. She wasn't a picture in a photo album, she was there. Right there. She tried to get their attention again. "Mama, it's me. Ana!"

SHE CAN'T HEAR YOU.

"W-What?" Anastasia stammered, staring at the words burned onto the ceiling. It was right above her parents, something they didn't react to at all. They continued to speak in hushed tones, trying to predict baby Anastasia's future as they made up different personalities, careers, and lifestyles. She frowned, keeping her eyes focused on the words. "Why can't she hear me? She's right there!"

SHE IS A MEMORY. SOMETHING THE WORLD CREATED FROM YOU.

She continued to frown. "What do you mean?"

YOU'RE NOT IN THE PAST. THIS WORLD IS CONNECTED TO YOU, RECREATING YOUR MEMORIES.

"But, I don't remember this," Anastasia added, shaking her head as she peered around the two adults at the baby in the crib. It was herself, sleeping soundly as her parents continued to speak in hushed whispers. She must have only been a few days old, the baby too small to be any other age. She looked back to the ceiling. "I was a baby. I don't have access to these memories."

YOU MAY NOT REMEMBER, BUT THE MEMORIES ARE STORED DEEP IN YOUR MIND. YOUR SOUL... THAT IS WHAT THE WORLD IS CONNECTED TO.

"This is... unreal," Anastasia mumbled, stepping out of the nursery and back into the living room. The apartment was warm compared to the outside, making her feel as if she was sweating underneath her coat. She took a seat on the couch, letting out a heavy sigh. She didn't understand what was going on. Nor how it was even possible.

THINK OF IT LIKE THIS...

The words appeared at her feet, causing a sigh to leave her lips. She held her head in her right hand, waiting for an explanation.

IMAGINE THIS WORLD IS A TELEVISION. AND YOU, ANASTASIA, ARE THE VHS TAPE.

"A VHS tape?" Anastasia chuckled, not having heard that term in a long time. It was 2015, after all. Most either used streaming services or stuck to DVDs; she used the former considering she liked watching things on her laptop. Perhaps, it wasn't such a good idea to joke about her current predicament. "So, basically, I can see them only. They can't see me?"

YOU DON'T EXIST TO THEM.

"I see..." Anastasia whispered to herself, slightly disappointed as she messed around with the wedding ring around her finger. It would have been nice to speak to her mother one more time. But, seeing her again was a blessing too. After almost twenty years without her mother, it was hard to remember what she looked like. Pictures helped, but her memory had deteriorated. She looked at the scorch marks at her feet. "But, why me? Why is it showing me my memories?"

YOU ARE CONNECTED.

"Connected how?" Anastasia asked, tilting her head. "Is it because I ended up here somehow? Or... Have I always been connected?"

YOU WILL LEARN. SOON. TRUST US.

"Us?" she asked, raising a brow. She leaned back against the sofa, wishing she could see who she was talking to. There was nothing she knew about them, but they seemed to know everything about her. "How many of you are there?"

TWO.

"I just realized, I never asked for your names," Anastasia confessed, biting the inside of her cheek as she sighed. Perhaps, her survival instincts weren't as sharp as she thought. "What should I call the two of you?"

CECE.

CHARLIE.

"Cece and Charlie," Anastasia echoed. She didn't recognize the names, so it couldn't be someone she personally knew. Perhaps, they were other people trapped in this world. She wanted to ask more, but someone's voice interrupted her train of thought.

"William!" Charlotte called out, appearing in the kitchen as she stirred something in a crockpot. She looked back, seemingly staring right at Anastasia with a bright smile. But, one look back showed that she was staring at her husband who had just entered the apartment. "Just in time, dinner is ready! I made your favorite ━━ pot roast."

Anastasia groaned, shaking her head as she felt her own stomach growl. The whole apartment had been filled with the aroma of the freshly-served food, making her envious of her parents from the past as they sat at the dining table and made themselves plates. "God, I'm starving."

EAT.

She frowned. "But, I thought nothing is real here?"

EVERYTHING IS REAL. JUST A RECREATED MEMORY.

"I'll pretend as if I understand," Anastasia whispered, standing to her feet as she walked toward the dining table. She took a seat across from her parents, but they paid her no attention. She fixed herself a plate, trying the mashed potatoes first. She hummed, savoring the taste. She had forgotten how good her mother's food had been. Self-taught, using cookbooks mostly. She had grown a passion for cooking after escaping from Arkham.

As she ate, she watched her parents closely. They looked happy. It was different from what she remembered, recalling how her parents fought all the time because of her mother's... sickness. Her father had an arm wrapped around her mother's shoulders, holding her close as he recounted his day to her. She was upset with how much time he was spending out, saying he was rarely home to spend time with herself and baby Anastasia. His excuse was that he had to work, make enough money for them to continue living in Gotham. She frowned, setting the spoon down as she noticed bruises that needle marks that lined her mother's arms. They looked recent, forcing her to send a glare in her father's direction. The love they shared couldn't be real.

Her father abruptly stood, making her flinch as she stared up at him. He can't hurt you, she reminded herself. The man took the dirty dishes, heading toward the kitchen to wash them. Of course, he had left hers untouched since she didn't exist to them. Her mother continued to sit at the dining table, humming to herself as she looked through a file. In the corner of the room, she could see herself in a newborn seat watching a cartoon on television. Her mother looked tired, dark circles lining her youthful features.

"Mama..." Anastasia whispered softly, even if she knew the woman across from her wasn't listening. She wanted to reach out, hold her mother's hand. She could feel the tears coming again, wishing she was stronger than that. But, it was difficult to see her mother after knowing what her fate was. "I'm so sorry... I love you so much. I wish I could have told you that before he..." Anastasia spared a glance in her father's direction, watching hum as he washed the dishes. "Before he killed you."

A MOTHER'S LOVE IS ETERNAL. YOU DO NOT NEED TO APOLOGIZE.

The words appeared on the table. Anastasia sighed, covering her face for a few moments as she tried to gain control over her emotions. She could feel her hands shake, forcing her to take deep breaths as she sniffled. Her father had finished cleaning the dishes, moving over to her mother to place a gentle kiss against her forehead before he picked baby Anastasia up from her seat. He rocked her, cooing at the baby as she smiled. He was a good father at one point. But, something had changed that.

She bit her lip, trying to think what was the best course of action. As much as she enjoyed seeing her mother again, there wasn't much of a clear direction of what she needed to do to find Laura and get back home. She stared at the scorch marks on the wooden dining table, letting out a heavy sigh. Her only friends in this foreign world.

"So, what can you tell me about the two of you?" Anastasia asked, tilting her head as her fingers traced against the burn marks. The table was cold, showing no signs of the burning words. "Are you two... stuck... here too?"

SORT OF. WE'RE STUCK IN THE HEART OF THIS WORLD.

"The heart?" Anastasia asked for clarification, tilting her head in confusion. If they were stuck in the heart of the world, then where was she? Somewhere in the outskirts, maybe. Anastasia wasn't sure, wanting clear answers. "Where is that?"

PAST MEMORY LANE.

She frowned, looking around the living room. Her parents were sitting at the couch now, watching a movie with a baby Anastasia in her father's arms. "Is this memory lane?"

YES.

They were answering her questions, but she still couldn't make sense of what was happening. She crossed her arms, letting out a heavy sigh as she leaned back in the wooden chair. There was so much she wanted to know, wondering how this world came to be and how she was connected to it. She wanted to know where Laura was and how to get out of this place, but she also wanted to know all of its secrets. The creatures were definitely something she had never seen before, wanting to know how they came to be. And, how there was a virus spreading across Gotham from this world. A part of her wished Cece and Charlie would just leave her a long paragraph explaining everything. But, they seemed to be limited to a few sentences here and there.

"I'm... I'm looking for someone..." Anastasia started slowly, biting the inside of her cheek. She wasn't sure if Cece and Charlie would know about Laura's whereabouts, but they did seem to be all-knowing. "Her name is━━"

LAURA.

"Yes!" Anastasia said, nodding her head as a sigh of relief left her lips. For a moment, she felt hope as a bright smile appeared upon her features. "Do you know where she is?"

SHE IS HERE. WITH US. IN THE HEART.

Anastasia frowned. "And, why didn't you say this before?"

The reply didn't come instantaneously, earning a familiar dread to settle within her. Her jaw clenched, making her wonder if she trusted the wrong people. All she cared about was Laura's safety, if they had done anything to hurt her. She would personally hunt them down and make them pay for it. But, her angry thoughts disappeared when they responded.

YOU DIDN'T ASK.

"Can I..." Anastasia paused, letting out the breath she was holding. "Can I speak to her, please?"

NO.

She felt a pang within her heart. A new wave of tears made their presence known, causing her throat to close up as she stared at small abrasions littering her hands. She wasn't opposed to begging, especially to disembodied entities she couldn't see. "Please, I just want to talk to her and make sure she's okay," Anastasia pleaded. "She's my friend."

LAURA NEEDS HELP. SHE IS DYING.

"Dying?" Anastasia stammered, shaking her head. Her hands clenched, taking a deep breath to steady herself. Laura had been critically injured during the attack, so it shouldn't come as a surprise she needed help. But, Anastasia was afraid she was running out of time. "Can you help her? She was hurt, needs medical attention."

WE CAN'T, BUT YOU CAN.

"Okay, but how? You told me you're in the heart of this world," Anastasia repeated what she knew, remembering what they had told her earlier. She looked around, staring at the living room that was twenty-eight years in the past. "How do I get to the Heart?"

RESTORE YOURSELF FIRST. GO THROUGH MEMORY LANE, RECOVER THE PAST YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN. ONLY THEN, YOU WILL BE GRANTED INTO THE HEART.

"Go through Memory Lane?" Anastasia sighed, wondering how long that was going to take. There were a lot of gaps in her memory, years she had lost. She never realized how broken she was before. But, she had to think of someone other than herself. She needed to focus on Laura. And, Cece and Charlie now too. "When I reach the Heart, will the two of you be there? Can I help you escape from this place too?"

YES.

Anastasia smiled softly, nodding her head. "Okay, sounds like a plan then."

━━ ━━ ━━

SHE HAD SLEPT ON THE COUCH WITHIN THE MEMORY, feeling somewhat safe for the first time in a while. A groan left her lips, stretching her limbs as she sat up. The room was lit up as if natural light was coming through the windows, but a peek outside showed the same dead world. The memory had changed, Anastasia realized. Some furniture, including the sofa she had slept on, had been moved around. She looked around, seeing more toys scattered all over the living room. Toys that were fit for a toddler, not a newborn.

A wince left her lips, feeling an ache within the heels of her feet. She reached down, taking off her shoes and socks to inspect the damage. Her feet, especially her heels, were covered in red blisters from all the walking she had done yesterday. But, it could be worse.

Her green eyes watched her mother closely, watching her fold laundry as she told a story to a much older Anastasia. She was still a baby, but it was clear that a few months had passed. She frowned, looking around for any signs of Cece and Charlie.

"Are you guys there?" she asked softly, looking around the living room to get used to the layout.

YES.

She smiled, feeling safe once again. She faced Charlotte and Anastasia, watching how her mother doted on her younger version. "How long have I been asleep? I must be a few months old now."

ONLY A FEW HOURS. MEMORY LANE WILL ONLY SHOW SIGNIFICANT MEMORIES.

"I see..." Anastasia whispered, standing to her feet. She wondered what was significant about the memory, but perhaps the scene was still setting up. Looking at the clock, it was supposed to be four o'clock in the afternoon.

Being in the memory, she took advantage of what she could. She took a shower, brushed her teeth (with a spare she had found underneath the sink), and changed into fresh clothing. Her mother's closet didn't have anything particularly in her style, but she enjoyed the bright colors. The fashion during the 80s was... something. She picked out a pair of jeans, along with a bright pink top. As for jackets, she picked up one of her father's. They were warmer and more comfortable, despite reaching the middle of her thighs. It made her feel as if she was borrowing one of Bruce's coats, knowing she drowned in them.

"Oh, my God!" Charlotte's shriek echoed throughout the apartment, causing Anastasia to run back into the living room to see her mother grinning wide as she stared at baby Anastasia. She frowned, wondering what was happening as she approached slowly. "Ana, can you say it again? Can you say mama?"

The baby only giggled, clapping her hands much to Charlotte's chagrin. Anastasia smiled, leaning against the couch as Charlotte tried to get baby Anastasia to speak again. One day, Anastasia wished she could have the same moments with her own children. All she ever wanted was a family, one she could call her own. Hopefully, it was still a possibility with Bruce. Though, a part of her knew he was hesitant on the idea of having kids. There was something that kept him away, something he wouldn't dare say.

"Mama!" The young baby squealed, earning another shriek of excitement from the older woman. She clapped her hands, pulling the baby into her arms before peppering kisses all over her face. It made Anastasia smile again, watching the scene with tender eyes.

Then, the sound of keys rattling in the door lock echoed throughout the apartment. For a moment, Charlotte's expression dropped as she continued to hold baby Anastasia in her arms. The door opened, revealing her father as he stood soaked in his suit. It was pouring outside, apparently. But, the outside of the door only showed the stillness of the other world with a glow surrounding her father. He walked inside, slamming the door shut behind him.

"William, honey," Charlotte smiled, approaching him cautiously. Still, her excitement bounced off the walls. Anastasia watched the scene from her spot, recognizing her father's expression. He had a bad day, something angered him. Her mother hadn't noticed. "Guess what?"

"What is it, Charlotte?" he asked, placing his briefcase on the dining table. He didn't look in the woman's direction, undoing his tie instead.

"Ana said her first word!" she grinned, proudly showing off their daughter to him. Her smile rivaled the frown on William's lips. Anastasia felt nervous from where she was at, hoping nothing would go wrong. "She said Mama! Aren't you proud?"

He didn't respond, keeping his eyes low.

Charlotte frowned, placing her free hand against William's cheek. She tilted her head, giving his stubbled cheek a gentle kiss. "My love, what's wrong?"

"It's been a long day, Char," he confessed, leaning against the couch. Anastasia couldn't help but notice how exhausted he looked, skin sinking to the bones of his features. His skin held a gray tinge, appearing sick. "I... I need another dose."

Dose? Her father wasn't an addict, she was sure of that. William Lovejoy always tried to keep himself in peak condition, not knowing when he had to be ready for a fight. His words didn't make Charlotte happy, noticing the slight anger that lingered. She had put Anastasia down in her playpen, turning back to face William.

"Where have you been all day?" She asked instead, narrowing her eyes at him. The question annoyed William, noticing the way his expression dropped. His fists clenched.

"Working," he replied, raising a brow. It was almost as if he was asking her why she was doubting him, but he must have given her a reason to do so. "I had a few business meetings with Carmine Falcone."

"Carmine Falcone?" Charlotte asked, confused. It was Anastasia's turn for her mood to turn sour, upset at the mention of Falcone. She knew he played a huge part in how her family had come into wealth, remembering now his words from their meeting. But, he was dead now. He couldn't hurt them anymore. "Who is that?"

"Someone who runs Gotham from the shadows," William replied, gulping. His condition seemed to be worsening by the second, closing his hands around the back of the couch. It was something Charlotte noticed too, but she stood strong. "He is just as powerful as the Arkham and Waynes. Falcone is willing to help us, return what is rightfully ours."

"William..." Charlotte sighed, shaking her head. Her tone had softened, full of sadness as she kept her eyes focused on the ground. "Don't you think this is getting a little too dangerous?"

"I want my family's wealth and land back," William pointed out, clenching his jaw at Charlotte's question. He glared at the blonde, striking fear in Anastasia's heart as she watched. She knew her father had a temper, one she had been a victim of too many times. "My life was stolen for their selfish experiments. I only want what is mine."

"I understand..." Charlotte said, letting out a heavy sigh. She fiddled with a bracelet around her wrist, forcing herself to face William. "I spent my whole life locked up at Arkham, remember? Ever since... Ever since I appeared from that other world."

For a moment, Charlotte was quiet as she gathered her thoughts. Her expression had turned into one of sadness, keeping her eyes focused on her babbling baby. Anastasia watched, trying to figure out what her mother's words meant. Charlotte was from this world? That couldn't be possible. It didn't make sense. Nothing could be born from this world, especially not with how death was around every corner.

"They never gave me a chance at a real life and... they were prepared to keep us locked up for the rest of our lives," Charlotte added, approaching William again. She placed her hands against his cheeks, forcing him to look at her. "But, now we both have a chance. We can start over, have a happy life with Anastasia."

"Not until they get what they deserve," William said, shaking his head. He pulled himself from his wife's grasp, reaching where baby Anastasia sat. He frowned. "Do you want them coming after us again, Charlotte? This time, they have our Anastasia to experiment on. They'll do the exact same to her. Take her blood, her DNA, and try to create some kind of miracle drug from it."

Charlotte narrowed her eyes, clenching her jaw. Her anger shook the walls, making Anastasia frown as she looked around the apartment. They didn't seem to notice, remaining unbothered. "They won't do anything of that sort," she muttered, focusing on Anastasia's toothless smile. "I would kill them before the thought would even enter their minds."

"As would I," William whispered, leaning against his wife for support. He gulped, unable to keep his eyes open. Anastasia couldn't remember a time she had seen her father like this. Unless... it was part of the memories she had forgotten. Most of her memories about her father had either been erased or rewritten. "Char, please," he pleaded, holding her hands. "I don't feel well. I need another dose."

A sigh left Charlotte's lips, nodding her head. She helped William into their bedroom, closing the door behind her. For a moment, Anastasia felt as if her mother was staring right at her. But, it was a trick of the light. She tried to follow, but the door was locked. Listening to the other side, she couldn't hear anything. But, it didn't stop her mind from creating new questions. She wanted to know what the 'dose' her father was talking about. They had briefly spoken about the experiments, mentioning how someone's blood and DNA were used. And, they had mentioned how Charlotte was from this other world. Perhaps, it was Charlotte's blood they had been using? It was the only explanation, but her questions didn't have concrete answers. And, she wouldn't learn anything yet.

Anastasia frowned, looking around the living room. Her eyes focused on herself, watching as baby Anastasia held a toy in her hands. It almost felt as if the baby was staring right at her, but that couldn't be possible due to the rules Cece and Charlie set out. Still, Anastasia reached out and touched the baby's cheeks. Then, she gently brushed the soft blonde hair. She felt so... real?

"This is so strange," Anastasia mumbled softly, mostly to herself. The baby didn't react, continuing to play with her toy. It was difficult to believe she was staring at herself. She looked up, hoping to speak to Cece or Charlie. "If this is a memory, why aren't we seeing the world through the baby's eyes?"

EVERYTHING IS ONLY A REPLICA. THE WORLD CREATED IT FROM THE MEMORY YOU HAVE.

"But, the memory I saw earlier?" Anastasia mumbled, remembering the moments between herself and Bruce when she had first come to. It was a memory from back in 2009 and she had seen herself from her own eyes. "I was playing myself? How do you explain that?"

SOMETIMES, MEMORY LANE WILL ALLOW YOU TO PLAY OUT MEMORIES ON YOUR OWN. IT IS TESTING YOUR KNOWLEDGE. THE SCENE CAN ONLY PROGRESS IF YOU CARRY OUT THE CORRECT SEQUENCE.

"Great..." Anastasia mumbled. She remembered how the scene had broken down around her when she had snapped out of his control. Bruce had stood there so blanky, morphing into a beast when she had said something out of order. It was still something she was trying to get a grasp of, but one thing at a time. "So, to reach the Heart, I need to restore myself, right? Basically, restore all my memories?"

CORRECT.

"How do I go through the memories?" Anastasia asked, wanting to prepare herself for the journey. She was sure not all her memories would take place in this apartment. If they took place somewhere else, she would have to follow the light again. She feared heading back out into the darkness, but it was the only way to progress if the memory was out of bounds.

YOU MUST LIVE THROUGH THE ONES THE WORLD DEEMS IMPORTANT.

"Okay..." Anastasia mumbled, wondering what was considered important to its eyes. So far, this memory wasn't something she would consider important. Though, she had said her first words and learned some new information about her parents. But, there were still more questions than answers. But, she could only think of Laura. "How long will this take?"

AS LONG OR AS LITTLE AS YOU'D LIKE. IT DEPENDS ON YOU.

"The memory from earlier? With me and Bruce?" she repeated, wanting to know as much as possible. For now, Cece and Charlie provided her with useful information. "Are memories going to be out of order?"

NO, THEY SHOULDN'T BE. THE BEST WAY TO PROCEED THROUGH MEMORY LANE IS CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER, EASIER ON THE MIND.

"And, this is the only way to save Laura?"

YES.

Anastasia sighed, feeling a newfound exhaustion settle in. Her back ached, causing a wince to leave her lips as she pressed the tips of her fingers into the tender skin. This was going to be a difficult journey, but one she needed to take if she wanted to save Laura and possibly... Gotham. The virus was seeping into the real Gotham from this dark version. Something here must be causing it. And, there must be a way to stop it. "I suppose..." Anastasia started, standing to her feet. "I have no choice but to face the demons from my past."

♡

I HAVE MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT THIS CHAPTER which makes me sad because I was so excited to write it. The whole book has been slowly leading up to Memory Lane and everything that involes it, but the start is a bit shaky. That is completely my fault, been out of my writing groove. Decemeber has been so full of stress for me and it's lowkey getting worse as the days go on. But, taking each day as it comes! The next chapter might not be out for a while, I think. I'm dealing with a lot of stuff in my personal life. The biggest issue being my car was involved in a small hit and run, nothing crazy since someone just hit my parked car. But, dealing with the insurance and the apartment complex (who still haven't been able to locate the footage) is such a toll. And, work has been super stressful too with how busy the hotel gets during the holidays. But, hopefully the new year will be better.

Enough of my complaing, let's talk about this chapter! I am sure this chapter is very confusing, but everything will slowly start to make sense soon! I will explain what Memory Lane is and how Anastasia will have to trek through it. Basically, it's a recreation of Anastasia's memories that the Upside Down / Other World has created. Think of that scene with Agatha and Wanda in WandaVision when they were looking through her past memories! It is very similiar to that! So, the memory is pristine and the rest of the world is destoryed / the Upside Down. It's confusing, I know. But, I have it all planned and we'll slowly get it all set up! And, we'll learn more about Cece and Charlie soon too. :) Slowly, but surely.

In the next chapter, we'll be back with Bruce! I will spoil a little bit and say to expect a reunion hehe. Sad how chapter 18 was the last chapter they were actually together. 😭 I am super excited to write Bruce's chapter, but I don't have much planned! So, it might take me a while to get this chapter out. If we don't see anymore chapters this month, we'll start seeing them in January then! Getting out updates has been getting harder and harder, I must confess. But, we're finally getting to the main plot of the book.

The thing I am most excited for is going to be Anastasia and Batman's adventures! Watch all of us just be begging Bruce to tell Anastasia the truth, but he's a stubborn guy. But, a lot of the future chapters will be Batman-centric! We'll start to see Bruce less and less, sadly. But, that's all I am saying for now. We'll see what happens soon!

I hope this chapter wasn't too crazy and that you guys are still sticking with me. I know it's so strange and it's such a different vibe from where we started with the book. But, I've been planning this for a while! Hopefully, I can make it work. Thank you all for reading! I can't believe we've hit 30K views?? It truly means the world to me. You guys keep my love for writing at an all-time high.

Also, this chapter was very loosely edited so if any mistakes are seen, please let me know! Typos and weird errors can be so embarrassing sometimes!

AMARA.
[ PUBLISH DATE ━━ 12.17.2022 ]