THESE VIOLENT DELIGHTS
xxviii. DAYDREAMS AND NIGHTMARES
❝ANASTASIA, YOU'RE IN TERRIBLE DANGER.❞

SLEEP DID NOT COME EASY TO ANASTASIA ANYMORE, considering the other world was not forgiving. She was forced to stay awake, afraid to close her eyes and allow the Overseer to catch up. If she did find herself asleep, her nights would be plagued with terrorizing dreams ━━ still being able to feel the creatures tear into her skin with their sharp teeth. She could feel them ripping her to shreds, keeping her alive as she suffered in agony. Laura's screams would echo in her mind, begging her for mercy. Along with hers, she had begun to hear Bruce's. Then it was Alfred's, all of them pleading for her to save them. Her last nightmare had been the most traumatic, begging on her knees as she pleaded with her father to not kill her mother. Her screams had blended with her mother's, startling her awake. She laid in bed, covering her mouth as she cried to not disturb her roommate's sleep.

But, she couldn't breathe. It was as if she could physically feel someone's hands around her throat, doing their best to end her life as she continued to fight off an invisible ghost. She had kicked the blanket off, tearing her nails into her neck as she tried to pry off the phantom's hands. To no avail, they were going to kill her.

"Ana?"

A voice called out in the darkness, but Anastasia couldn't do much but gasp for air. Her vision was blurred, unable to make out the face of who was talking to her. It had to be Birdie, no doubt. But, her mind played tricks as Laura's face came into view. Blood still sprouted from the bite marks in her neck, drenching Anastasia's clothing. However, Laura's face didn't show discomfort as she tilted her head. She reached out, curling her hands around Anastasia's neck before squeezing.

"Why didn't you listen to me, Anastasia?" she asked softly, narrowing her eyes as she crawled onto the bed and hovered over her. Her hands still around her neck, unrelenting. "I could have saved us both," she continued, lips twitching into a snarl. "But, you are a pathetic stupid little girl. Unable to see the bigger picture. Oblivious to the power you hold. I should have put you out of your misery a long time ago."

Anastasia kicked her off, sending her tumbling to the ground. She reached for the closest thing, hand curling around a colored pencil as she pinned the woman down. She lifted it up, prepared to stab it into━━

"Ana, snap out of it! Please!"

Her hand trembled, watching as Laura's snarling face faded into Birdie's terrified expression. The pencil fell to the ground, Anastasia immediately pushed herself off the woman as she crawled backward. Her back hit the bed, pulling her knees to her chest as she sobbed into them.

"I'm so sorry, B-Birdie," Anastasia weeped, feeling the pain in chest manifest. She couldn't catch her breath, taking quick gasps but feeling as if they never reached her lungs. "I... I... I didn't... I wasn't t-trying to h-hurt... hurt you. I swear."

Birdie slowly sat up, approaching Anastasia with caution. She lifted a hand, gently placing it on top of her knee. "Hey, it's fine," Birdie reassured, gently blowing on Anastasia's face to provide some comfort. It forced Anastasia to look up, facing Birdie. "It was a nightmare. We all have them."

Her attention drifted back to the colored pencil, seeing its sharpened point. She could have killed Birdie, pierced her right through the heart. She would have killed an innocent person. In her delusional state, she could have taken a life. She could have━━

"Hey!" Birdie caught her attention, snapping her fingers in Anastasia's face. It pulled her out of her thoughts. "Pay attention to me, Ana. Stay grounded in reality, okay?"

"Are you okay?" Anastasia asked softly. Her voice was barely above a whisper, feeling the burning ache in her throat. She wasn't sure if it was from almost being strangled to death by a phantom or if she needed to drink some water, most likely the latter.

"I'm fine..." Birdie reassured, giving her a kind smile as she brushed off almost being murdered. "Are you okay? It must have been some nightmare. You were screaming out a name ━━ Laura?"

"Laura..." Anastasia mumbled, choking back another sob as her body began to betray itself. She felt heavy, feeling someone's claws sink into her shoulders.

"I lost a friend once. My best friend actually," Birdie began, taking a seat next to Anastasia. She wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. Anastasia rested her head against the woman, still shaking from her attack. "Her name was Kaiya... and she died in a car accident." There was a short pause, Birdie letting out a soft sigh. "I was the one driving."

Anastasia listened, closing her eyes as a few stray tears slipped down her cheeks. There was no denying that it had been her fault for what had happened to Laura. She involved her into her problems and now, she was gone. It was her fault for what happened to Laura.

"I blame myself. Even when I think I've accepted her death, I still find a voice in my head saying it's all my fucking fault," Birdie continued, running a gentle hand through Anastasia's hair. It was quiet for a few moments, both women deep in thought. "But, you keep going and you live with them in mind. They wouldn't want you sitting on a dirty floor in tears."

"Laura didn't deserve it. I... I dragged her into my mess," Anastasia breathed out, thinking of how kind Laura had been to always be by her side. Even when she had no one, she had Laura. "She's still out there. She's still missing. Laura is in the Heart. I need to save her."

"I'm sure the police are looking for your missing friend," Birdie reassured, but it brought Anastasia no solace. After all, the police didn't know where to look. They didn't even believe her when she had told them the truth. How were they supposed to find Laura? It was up to Anastasia to save her friend. "They'll find her safe and sound. I promise."

Promises should not be made if there was no guarantee they could be kept. False promises only brought hope, hope that is easily shattered when the truth comes to light. But, Anastasia couldn't give up hope. It was all she had left. She needed to believe Laura was alive. She had made a promise to Laura, to Cece and Charlie, and to all of Gotham that she would save it. But, here she was, trapped in an asylum whilst being infected with a virus that had a one hundred percent kill-rate.

They heard the familiar beep of a badge being scanned before the door opened, causing warm light from the hall to flood into the room. The person to walk into the room was none other than Doctor Hugo Strange and behind him... Doctor Arthur Radcliffe. Anastasia stared, noticing neither of the two wore hazmat suits.

"Is everything alright?" Doctor Radcliffe had been the one to ask, taking a small step forward as his cane hit the ground first. He looked down at her before around the room, trying to piece together what had happened. "We got a complaint from one of the nurses that there was screaming coming from this room."

"I had a nightmare..." Anastasia mumbled, keeping her eyes low as she watched Birdie stand and move toward her bed. She stood too, taking a seat on her bed as the doctors watched. She felt embarrassed to see Doctor Radcliffe again, considering he had warned her against pursuing the secrets of the past. And now, she was infected and locked up in Arkham Asylum.

"Oh?" Doctor Strange's attention was piqued at her words, stepping forward as he clasped his hands together. "Perhaps, it was a side effect of the new medication."

"No, I have nightmares often," Anastasia whispered, shooting another apologetic glance in her roommate's direction. But, Birdie did nothing as she watched from her bed. Neither doctor paid her any mind, focusing only on Anastasia.

"What was the nightmare about?" Strange asked, lips twitching upward in a slight grin. She wasn't sure how she felt about Doctor Hugo Strange, feeling uncomfortable when he was around. His intentions seemed pure, but her instincts told her she shouldn't trust him.

"My friend..." Anastasia answered, wondering if she could still consider Laura her friend. After all, it was likely Laura harbored hatred toward her considering everything that had happened. "It was because of the creatures ━━ the late-stage Infected. They killed my friend. It was my fault we were in that situation in the first place and... I suppose she wanted revenge. So, she tried to kill me."

"Oh..." Doctor Strange mumbled, seemingly disappointed with her answer as he clicked his tongue. "Well, I suppose you should head back to sleep. It's only five in the morning."

Birdie did as she was told, getting underneath the blankets as she made herself comfortable. She didn't speak to the doctors, giving them a dirty look. And, they ignored her.

"I'm not really tired," Anastasia confessed, watching Radcliffe pick up her blankets off the floor before placing them on the bed again. She didn't want to face her nightmares again, wanting to stay awake instead.

"Well, if you're not tired," Strange started, shrugging his shoulders as he faced Radcliffe for a brief moment, "we can always start our tasks for the day."

"Tasks?" Anastasia echoed, asking Doctor Strange to elaborate.

"It's too early," Radcliffe commented, shaking his head. His white beard moved slightly, making Anastasia wonder exactly how old the man was. He had to be in his seventies or eighties, probably should have retired a decade or two ago. "She needs her sleep."

"Nonsense," Strange said, extending his wrinkled hand for Anastasia to take. He smiled kindly, but it didn't reach his eyes. Again, he wore his glasses but she could see the glint of his eyes. "The earlier we start, the sooner we'll finish."

Anastasia frowned, taking his hand as he pulled her out of bed. "Yes, but what tasks?"

"These tasks..." Strange hummed, trying to come up with the best way to explain things to Anastasia. He placed a hand on her shoulder, thinking. "Just know that these... activities... will help you understand reality better."

"Excuse me?" she asked, raising a brow. She glared at him, feeling anger twitch inside her at the thought of another person who believed she had lost her mind.

"The GCPD added in their evaluation that you're struggling to remember what had happened during your abduction," Radcliffe added, trying to defuse the situation growing in between Anastasia and Strange. "You claimed you were trapped in another world for months, but Lieutenant James Gordon and Detective Rafe Gideon believe you were held captive by the Children of Arkham for two weeks instead."

And, it was the same story that Batman believed. But, it seemed that the GCPD didn't add in their notes that Batman had been there to aid their investigation. She once held the vigilante in high regard, but she only felt anger at the thought of him. For some reason, she had thought that at the very least, he would believe her. But, he was just like the rest.

"The point is," Radcliffe continued, forcing Anastasia to look up at the older man. "We have a way of uncovering the truth."

She frowned. "How?"

"Years ago, we had this machine built to help our patients remember memories that their brains may have forgotten or altered. It is meant to deprive you of all your senses so the mind can focus," Radcliffe answered, giving her full transparency. For the first time, it felt as if someone was telling her the full truth. But, Anastasia wasn't naïve enough to give him her trust. "Perhaps, it is better if we show you, Anastasia?"

She nodded. "Okay, I'll follow along. For now."

The hospital was quiet, most of its patients still asleep. Only a few nurses were on duty, dressed in hazmat suits as they typed away at the computer. If she wanted to make an escape, it seemed that the morning was the best time. But, the armed guards still stood at the doors. Doctor Radcliffe and Strange took her into the main hall, noticing how everyone kept their distance at the sight of her. It made her feel sick, frowning as she realized how terrified they all looked. But, she couldn't help but spot a familiar face.

"Oh, hey, Anastasia!" John called out, pausing in his tracks as he grinned wide. He waved, trying to catch her attention. With him, there was a blonde nurse with thick-rimmed black glasses. "Dr. Quinzel, that's my best friend right there."

They kept their distance. But, she still waved as they walked by. "Hi, John," she said quietly, not wanting to disturb the morning peace of the hospital. "It's nice to see you again."

After a brief conversation, they kept moving throughout the hospital. No one questioned them, making her realize how high of a clearance both Radcliffe and Strange had. They stepped into an elevator, watching as it took them to the last level. The doors slid open and the first thing she saw was the sign to the morgue. She remembered being on the same floor a few months back, considering she had snuck into the underground lab. Is that where they were taking her?

"Where are we going?" she suddenly asked, feeling terror settle within her chest as she shook her head.

Strange spared her a glance back, still moving down the hall with Radcliffe as she slowly followed. "The lab, of course."

"No," she said, standing her ground as she paused. "I'm not... I'm not going down there."

"Do not worry, child. With some extra funding because of the epidemic, we were able to have the lab cleaned and repaired," Radcliffe reassured, facing her with a soft expression. He understood her fear, not reprimanding her for it. "Whatever you saw before, it isn't there."

"But, the..." Anastasia trailed off, not daring to mention the creature out loud as she kept her eyes on Radcliffe. She didn't want to encounter another creature, not having the willpower to. Especially since she didn't have any weapons to defend herself with, wishing she still had her shotgun.

"It isn't there," Radcliffe repeated, shaking his head. "It will be just us down there."

Doctor Strange noticed their hidden conversation, but didn't comment on it as he flashed his badge. It unlocked the door and they descended down the stairs into the underground lab. With all the lights on, it looked different. Normal, like any other part of the hospital. Like Radcliffe had said, it was cleaned and repaired. There was no sign of a creature or any of the black substance coating the floor and walls from before. She let out a soft breath, feeling her nerves calm as she could see almost every inch of the floor except for what was behind closed doors.

"It took a lot of money to repair all of this, having to borrow close to five million dollars from the funding for the new hospital being built," Strange mentioned, shrugging his shoulders. He looked proud, staring around the lab. After all, he could claim that it was his life's work. "But, it was much needed with the new epidemic. Our doctors and scientists are working hard to come up with a cure."

"So, you used the money my husband and I put down for the new Martha and Thomas Wayne Memorial Hospital?" Anastasia clarified, raising a brow.

Strange nodded, giving her a smile. "Warden Sharp and Mayor Dent saw it as an excellent idea after the rise in infections, giving the approval."

Anastasia hummed, thinking it was a good use of the funds too. After all, most of the city's efforts should be put towards ending the infections. More people showed up infected by the day and people were dying just as fast with no cure in sight yet. She hummed softly, looking around the lab as she tried to compare it to what she had seen before. The lab was empty, except for the three of them.

"Follow us, Anastasia," Strange said, gesturing for her to follow them into a separate room. She frowned, noticing the massive metal tank in the middle of the room as its pipes went into the ground and the ceiling. Strange grinned, patting against the machine.

She wrapped her arms around herself, frowning. "What is it?"

"It is a sensory deprivation tank," Strange answered, smiling. He turned to Radcliffe, noticing the uncomfortable expression he wore. It matched Anastasia's. "We have used it plenty of times before when the experiments were active and it worked perfectly fine back then. And, it still should. After all, Radcliffe, Franklin, and I invented it."

"It should help us uncover those memories your mind is hiding," Radcliffe explained, making Anastasia frown as she chewed the inside of her cheek. There was nothing wrong with her memories. After all, Laura was in the Heart of the other world. It was impossible to search for memories of her abduction when she was never kidnapped in the first place. "Perhaps, we may be able to see where your friend truly is. Either you're right or the GCPD is."

"So, will this help us find Laura?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I just want to make sure I have things clear," Anastasia mumbled, not wanting to be filled with doubts if the doctors were going to put her through these strange experiments to dig into her mind. "By going into this machine, we will be able to see what happened during the time I was missing?"

Strange nodded. "Yes, we should be able to. Most likely, it won't happen during the first session but we will work toward it, Anastasia."

She nodded, thinking. It couldn't hurt to try, especially if it meant helping Laura. "So, how does it work?"

"To put things in simple terms, we'll fill the tank up with ice saltwater to lower your temperature," Radcliffe explained, turning the machine on by pulling a lever. She could hear the rush of water, beginning to fill the tank. "Then... Listen, Anastasia, this is scarier than it looks. Just trust me."

He picked up a strange contraption, consisting mostly of wires and metal rods. It looked like something out of a horror torture movie if she was being honest, but she didn't comment on it out loud.

"We'll place this device around your head. It keeps track of your brainwaves and sends the data back to our computer," Radcliffe said, pointing to where Strange stood by an older computer. "From there, we put you in the bath and close the tank. It'll be pitch black in there and the tank is soundproof, but there is a camera and speakers in there. We'll still be able to see you and we can communicate."

"I don't know if I want to do this..." Anastasia confessed, holding the device in her hands as Radcliffe allowed her to look it over. It felt uncomfortable and she could tell it would be painful to wear, especially in the water where there was a chance of electrocution.

Strange frowned, eyes narrowing into a sharp glare. "Don't you want to find Laura?"

"I do, but━━"

"What kind of friend are you?" Strange interrupted, scoffing as he shook his head. His right hand tightened around the table that the computer sat on while his other hand pointed an accusing finger in her direction. "I thought you would be willing to do anything to save your friend."

"Strange, enough," Radcliffe said sternly, giving him a pointed look. When he turned to look at Anastasia, his expression softened. "Anastasia, if you don't want to do this, then we won't. No one will force you to do anything."

"No... It's fine..." Anastasia mumbled, trying to ignore Strange's lethal glare. It made her uncomfortable, focusing on Radcliffe instead who watched her closely. She forced a smile, nodding her head. "I can do this."

"Perfect," Strange gleamed, nodding his head. His anger had immediately dissipated, allowing Anastasia to understand that he was the kind of person that was only pleased if things went his way. He frowned. "Let's get started," he stated, gestured to the tank. "If you will, go ahead and undress for us."

She frowned. "What?"

"Just down to your undergarments," Radcliffe corrected, shooting another glare in Strange's direction but he was too distracted by something on the computer to notice. He sighed, frowning. "All the extra clothing will weigh you down when you're in the tank and it'll interfere with the whole purpose of sensory deprivation."

"Fine," Anastasia agreed, not caring. She wanted to get the experiment over with, wanting to be in her room instead. She was most worried about the cold water, shivering before she had even stepped inside.

Anastasia did as she was told, taking off her clothing until she was standing in her undergarments. She shivered when the cold air touched her bare skin, forcing her to wrap her arms around herself for some warmth. She felt awkward, but the doctors didn't react. They worked around her, turning on the rest of the components of the machine. The computer system looked old, making her wonder if it still worked properly. Strange worked on the computers while Radcliffe prepared an injection, causing Anastasia to sigh. Her skin had become bruised with the continuous injections. Since she had arrived two days ago, she had received about six injections. And, she couldn't even remember how much medication she had been fed.

"You couldn't have bought new computers with the money you stole?" Anastasia asked, raising a brow as she watched Strange. He spared her a glance, but returned to his work.

In the reflection of his glasses, it looked as if he was inputting code into the computer but she couldn't be too sure. He continued to type, sparing her another glance. "Are you offering to fund the lab?"

"No."

"Then, hush," he said sternly, looking up as Radcliffe returned.

She noticed the injection in his hands, spotting the red liquid in the syringe. She hummed, meeting his eyes. "Same medication from the night before?"

"Same one," Radcliffe hummed, nodding.

Anastasia sighed, holding out her arm for him. Radcliffe was gentle, looking for the most prominent vein before injecting her with the medication. For a moment, her vision flickered as the world turned into a darker version of itself. She could see the dark vines that covered every surface and black mold that grew surrounding it. In the distance, she could hear the screeches of the creatures as the world shook underneath her feet. Then, it was all gone.

She tightly held onto Radcliffe's arm, steadying herself as the world swayed. She clutched her head, wincing as she squeezed her eyes shut. Everything had returned to normal, both doctors watching her with curious expressions. "I'm fine," she whispered, letting go off Radcliffe's arm. "It just... It makes me dizzy."

"Just a side effect," Radcliffe whispered, discarding the needle in a nearby hazard bin. He washed his hands again in a nearby sink, drying them off with a paper towel before returning. He stepped around her, opening the tank door before he tested the temperature of the water. He hummed. "Alright, it's cold enough."

"Perfect," Strange said from his spot, taking notes down as they worked. "Put the device on her, Radcliffe."

Doctor Radcliffe came around, moving Anastasia's hair off her shoulders before securing the device around her head. It wasn't as painful as she had imagined, but she could still feel the metal rods scratching against her scalp. A frown appeared upon his lips, noticing the deep scratches on her neck. "Did you do that to yourself?"

"No... I..." Anastasia bit the inside of her cheek, feeling the tender skin. "I was trying to pry off Laura's hands in my dreams. I must have... I must have accidentally scratched myself."

"Looks painful," he mumbled, clicking his tongue. He continued to stick wired medical patches throughout her chest, arms, and legs. It caused him to notice the scars she had received in the other world. It made her self-conscious, wanting to cover herself up from his scrutiny. Radcliffe cleared his throat. "We'll prescribe you a stronger sedative, so you'll stay asleep throughout the night."

"We'll monitor from out here," Strange added, watching as the computer connected to Anastasia's vitals. "Throughout the session, we'll send some currents through the device to help stimulate your brain."

"Sounds dangerous to mix electricity with water," Anastasia mentioned, frowning as she watched Radcliffe turn off the water. It allowed the room to settle in silence, listening to the sound of their breaths and the computer whirling.

"You're perfectly safe," Radcliffe reassured, holding the tank door open. He took Anastasia's hand, helping her place one foot into the water. He noticed her expression, offering her a kind smile.

Anastasia shivered, hating how cold the water was. After a few moments of allowing her foot to adjust, she fully entered the tank. With Radcliffe's assistance, she floated in the water as she stared up at the metal ceiling of the tank. It didn't take long to adjust to the freezing temperature. Her breaths became slow, sleepiness threatening to take over her senses.

"Are you okay?" Radcliffe asked, brushing the hair out of her face as he met her gaze. For a moment, his face morphed into the same one as William Lovejoy. Again, it was her mind playing tricks. It was why she didn't react, numbly staring at the man until it turned back to Doctor Arthur Radcliffe.

She sighed softly, nodding. "I'm fine."

He nodded, closing the tank door to plunge her in complete darkness. She floated in the saltwater, feeling it completely soak her undergarments. Her mind seemed to have difficulty in focusing, not hearing much other than the sloshing of the water with her in it. She let out a soft breath, feeling her teeth chatter against themselves. She hoped hypothermia wouldn't greet her soon.

"Ana, can you hear us?" Radcliffe's voice came through the speakers, making her hum. It sounded robotic, sounding strange over the decades-old speaker. But, it still worked.

"I can hear you," she answered back, shivering. Her body felt stiff, laying there unmoving in the water as she gulped. "It's really cold in here, I don't know how long I can last."

"Don't worry, we'll pull you out in about ten minutes," Strange responded back, making her frown. Ten minutes felt too long, but perhaps they would go quickly if they started the experiment. "Now, just focus on our voices and listen to our commands. We'll walk you through it."

"Okay."

"Close your eyes."

She did as she was told, closing her eyes as she felt the water swish around her. The sensation of floating helped relieve some stress, especially in her aching feet. A wave of calm flushed over her senses, making the situation somewhat easier.

"Think back to Laura," Radcliffe said softly, buzzing in Anastasia's ear. His voice sounded far away, but also as if he was standing right behind her. "To when the two of you were in the Charlotte Hotel."

"Okay..." Anastasia whispered, thinking. She remembered Laura's warnings, suggesting they turn around and come back in the morning. She should have listened, feeling guilt wash over her emotions. Walking into the room had been a terrifying experience, remembering the blood that coated the walls and furniture. She could see the cracks in the concrete ground and walls, seeing the black substance that oozed from them. But, the memory was fleeting. She could barely grab onto it. Her mind refused to remember properly. "I can't do this. I can't focus."

"You're fine," Radcliffe stated, allowing her to feel a little calmer at his reassuring voice. "I'll turn the device on."

She hummed, trying to focus on the act of floating instead. Drowning in a pitch-black tank didn't seem like the best way to go, especially when she couldn't be sure Radcliffe or Strange would come to her rescue.

"You'll feel a... sharp pinch..." Strange's voice came through, sounding mostly like static but she was still able to make out what he was saying. "But, it is just the device sending currents into your brain to help you focus."

"Okay," Anastasia said again, not knowing what else to say. She braced herself, squeezing her eyes shut.

A sharp pinch was accurate, Anastasia could feel it deep within her skull as she gritted her teeth together. It wasn't painful, per se. But, it was a rather uncomfortable feeling.

"Now, think of Laura," Strange ordered, causing her to gulp at his sharp tone. She didn't want to disappoint either of them, knowing that there might be consequences. But more importantly, she wanted to help Laura. "We'll start with what you do remember accurately then we'll see if we can unfog your mind of this... other world. See the truth behind your words."

This time, Anastasia did not reply as she fell deep into a memory ━━ the first memory she ever had of Laura.

The darkness of the tank melted into a brightly lit room that she recognized all too well, making her smile at the familiarity. Her office at Wayne Enterprises, but the decor was off ━━ outdated by a few years. She walked around, taking in the sights. Her attention was caught outside, seeing the construction of the Anastasia Hotel across the street. It wasn't completely built yet, making her realize she must be remembering a memory from 2009 or 2010. Then, she heard typing and looked back to see a younger version of herself sitting at the desk. This was a very old memory, one she barely remembered. Most of these memories were absent from her mind, but snippets of them would come through.

"What do you see, Anastasia?" Strange's voice sounded despite her being in the memory, forcing her to look around to see where it was coming from. She wondered how this device worked, considering it was somewhat like Memory Lane. She half-expected to see words burn into the surfaces around her as Cece and Charlie spoke. But, this felt different somehow. Everything was hazy, as if she was in a dream. It wasn't like Memory Lane where every small detail popped out.

"I'm in an office," she replied back, noting that young Anastasia didn't react to her. She continued to type at the computer, engrossed in her work. There was a ring on her finger, meaning she and Bruce were already married. "It's mine. I'm at Wayne Enterprises."

The door opened, causing her to look back. She watched as a young Laura Moretti walked into the office, wearing a shy smile as she held a file in her hands. This was the first time she had met Laura, interviewing her for the assistant position. She had been the best candidate thus far, being hired almost on the spot. It made Anastasia smile sadly, wishing she had more of her memories with Laura. Most of them were nonexistent, considering she didn't remember much before her father's passing.

"Hi, come on in. Make yourself comfortable, please," the young Anastasia chimed, smiling bright at Laura as the two of them shook hands before taking a seat. "I'm Anastasia Lovejoy-Wayne."

"I'm Laura ━━ Laura Moretti, if we're doing full names."

"I'm too far back," Anastasia said, turning her back to them as her past self began the interview process. She bit her lip, looking around the room as she studied it. Bruce had given her full liberty to decorate the office however she pleased, leading the room to be mostly pink and purple. She didn't mind, still liking the decor her younger self picked out. "This is when I first met Laura."

"That's alright," Radcliffe reassured, making her wonder what they were doing outside the tank. It wasn't as if they had access to what she was seeing. And, she remembered the ten-minute deadline she had in the tank. "Give your mind some time. It's trying to find the right memory."

"But, this is 2009," Anastasia sighed, shaking her head. "I'm six years back. We don't have time to wait for my mind to catch up to the present."

"Give it time, Anastasia," Radcliffe said gently. "If anything, we can always come back for another session."

Great. She sighed again, taking a seat on a nearby loveseat as she watched herself and Laura. Staring at herself, she noticed how young she looked. She was only twenty-two years old when she had gotten married to Bruce, being a year younger than him. He was so different back then too, not being the same stoic man he was now. He was more playful, but he was also always so angry. There was so much anger in him, one he tried his best to hide whenever she was around. He was good at masking his emotions, she never saw him on a bad day. If she did, she didn't remember.

"So, Laura, tell me about yourself," Anastasia asked, one of the worst questions known to mankind when it came to interviews. She remembered Regina had given her a list of questions to ask, making things a little easier. Back then, Regina hadn't been so harsh and was rather good friends with her father, William.

"Well, I just moved to Gotham a few months ago actually. I used to live in Seattle before, but after my father died, I moved out here," she explained her living situation. She was in-between apartments, living with some friends from college until she found a more permanent place. Rent is lower in Gotham than Metropolis for... obvious reasons, had been her reason for choosing the city. To which, Anastasia agreed. She had always wanted to escape from Gotham too, but she never got the chance. "As for my education, I currently have a Bachelors' degree in Communications, but I plan to get my Masters too."

Anastasia nodded, smiling at Laura. "Wayne Enterprises offers a tuition program for employees at every level," she added, tilting her head at the other woman. "I think you'll benefit greatly from that."

"I think so too," Laura said.

"But, I do see that you don't have any prior experience on your resume," Anastasia mumbled, looking over Laura's resume in the file she had provided. She remembered that Regina said that prior experience was important for building skills for the workforce. But, Anastasia, herself, never had any experience as COO when Bruce had hired her for the position.

"Right, I focused on getting my degree after high school, but I did work for my father in his shop since I was a little kid," Laura explained, still smiling as if she had been prepared for the question about her lack of experience. "He was a huge car fanatic. He found these broken down cars and rebuilt them all the time. Building custom cars was his favorite hobby. He even built my own car from scratch."

It was Anastasia's turn to smile, clasping her hands together as she glanced at the wedding photo of her and Bruce on the table. "My husband has the same hobby," she said. "He's building a car himself with another employee, Lucius Fox. It's all top secret for now." She paused, frowning. "I probably shouldn't have told you that."

Laura chuckled, shaking her head. "Your secret is safe with me, don't worry."

Anastasia watched from her spot, watching as the two girls laughed in between each question that was asked. She had always liked Laura from the start, having an immediate connection. She was grateful to be able to call the woman her friend. And, it made the pain of losing her so much worse.

"I hired her immediately," Anastasia mumbled to Radcliffe and Strange, not knowing how much time had passed since she had entered the tank. If she truly focused on it, she could still feel the water swirling around her even as her mind focused on the memory. But at the same time, she could also feel the sofa she was sitting on. The fibers of the cloth brushed against her skin, causing goosebumps to appear. It was... strange. She watched as Laura left the office, stepping into a bright abyss before the door began to close again. "Laura was perfect for the job."

Before the office door could close fully, it opened again to reveal a person she wasn't expecting to see. William Lovejoy drained the life out of a memory when he appeared, something Anastasia noticed even when she was in Memory Lane. The bright memory had suddenly turned dull, appearing almost gray. She stiffened, sitting straight as she watched him walk past her to young Anastasia.

"My father is here," she mumbled, gulping.

"William Lovejoy?" Strange echoed, sounding even further away than they did before. It caused panic to begin brewing within her chest, but she tried her best to stay calm as she took slow breaths.

"F-Father, hello," young Anastasia greeted him slowly, hesitant to look up at him as he towered over her small figure. She had forgotten how tall he was, rivaling Bruce's height. And, the air around him was suffocating and she could feel herself choking. She brushed a hand against her throat, forcing herself to take slow even breaths. Her younger counterpart's posture had completely changed from when Laura was in the room. She looked physically uncomfortable, clenching her fists as she avoided her father's stern gaze. "What brings you here? I was coming back to the manor in about an hour."

This memory was when she and Bruce were still newlyweds. Perhaps, it had been a few months since their marriage but it was still very early on. She wasn't positive about the timeline, but she reminded herself of the ring young Anastasia wore. They didn't have a permanent address, living at the Charlotte Hotel since the Anastasia and William were still under construction. And, her father found no interest in building a home or settling in a single spot. Of course, Bruce had Anastasia living with him in the manor since their engagement. But, he had extended the invitation to William as well. It was one of his biggest mistakes, allowing them to enter his home.

"Bruce isn't at the manor," William commented, clicking his tongue. "Where is he?"

"I don't know, Father," Anastasia replied, shrugging her shoulders as she began to shift around a few papers. They trembled in her hands, showing how afraid she truly was of the man standing beside her. It was then she could see the bruises that lined young Anastasia's skin, making her frown. It was a wonder that Laura hadn't commented on them throughout the whole interview. "He was here, I remember," she added, pressing her lips together. "But, he left with Lucius."

The answer didn't please William. His expression didn't change, but Anastasia could feel the anger radiating off the man. He always had so much rage festering within him, never feeling much of anything else. "Look at me, Anastasia."

And, young Anastasia immediately did. Her face contorted into a grimace, turning a shade of scarlet red. The veins in her neck bulged, making her frown as she studied the scene. She didn't remember this, none of it. "What is going on?" she asked, shaking her head as her eyes welled with tears. "He's... He's..."

"What is going on, Anastasia?" Strange asked. His voice rang loudly in her ears, causing her to cover them as she winced in pain. It made her nauseous, sick to her stomach. Her head felt as if it was going to explode. "Speak to us, Anastasia. Tell us what is happening."

"I've told you to keep a leash on Bruce," William continued, clenching his fists as he watched his young daughter and her pained expression. Perhaps, he took pity but Anastasia knew better as he released his control. Young Anastasia gasped for a breath, frantically wiping away the blood that dripped from her nose and onto the table. He didn't react, watching without emotion. "Do you not care about all the work we've put into this? It's only for a little while longer," he sharply spat out, slamming a fist against the table. It caused the young girl and Anastasia to jump. "Then, you'll be free of this marriage and you can go wherever you want with whoever you please."

"I don't want to hurt him, Father," she pleaded, tears had begun to stream down her cheeks as she clasped her red-stained hands together. Her eyes wild with desperation, begging for her father to find mercy within his heart. "Bruce is a good man, I know it. His heart is pure. He is nothing like his parents."

"Anastasia━━"

"Please, Father!" She interrupted, earning nothing but a sharp glare from William. His temper was being tested, something Anastasia could tell from her spot. She almost wanted to tell her younger counterpart to shut up and not anger him, considering nothing good ever came from it. "You have everything you could ever want. Why not let go of this... of this futile revenge? Mama would not want to see you this way."

His hand immediately struck against her face, knocking her into the desk. It was all Anastasia had to see, standing to her feet as she shook her head. The experiment was over, she didn't care to watch this. She wanted out, tugging on the door to open it. But, it was locked. She could hear her father screaming at Young Anastasia, telling her how she didn't understand and she had no right to mention his wife Charlotte. Her panic had begun to set in, keeping her back to the scene as the world began to flicker to black. However, she remained in the room as she pushed against the door. She was stuck.

"Your vitals have elevated, Anastasia," Strange commented. "What's going on?"

"Let me out!" she screamed, staring angrily at the ceiling of the office as her ears were filled with her own sobbing and William's harsh words. "Please, I don't want to be here anymore! Let me out!"

Suddenly, the room had gone quiet. She let out a shaky breath, not daring to look back at the scene. But, Strange and Radcliffe refused to pull her out. She was still in the office, no matter how many times she tried to return to the tank of freezing water. Be brave, Anastasia. You are safe. She reassured herself, standing straight as she peeked behind. It was as if the scene was frozen, but they still showed signs of life. Her younger counterpart held her face, sobbing softly. William Lovejoy showed no signs of remorse, clenching his jaw. Then, he slowly turned in her direction.

She felt her back hit the door, holding her breath. "He sees me."

"No, he doesn't," Radcliffe reassured, but his words provided no relief. "It's a memory, Ana. He can't see you. There must be someone else at the door that he's looking at."

Her hand gripped the door handle, ratting it as she kept her eyes focused on William. She felt like a cornered animal, staring at a predator prepared to take her life. Her breaths came out in short gasps, pleading with herself to wake up. "He knows I'm here."

"Anastasia, he does not," Strange said. "Just calm down."

Her father's eyes narrowed, mouth curling to utter her name. He knew she was there. She shook her head, turning her back to him as she slammed herself against the door. "He sees me!" she screamed, pounding her fists against the door as she hoped it would break down. "Doctor Radcliffe! Doctor Strange! Let me out! Please, let me out! Please! I'm begging you!"

"Anastasia, calm down━━"

But, she wasn't listening as she continued to slam herself against the door to force it open as her father's footsteps approached. And suddenly, it felt as if she was drowning. Her vision was engulfed in darkness and then light, making her think for a split second she was in the office again. But then, she felt a warm robe wrap around her as she sobbed, clinging to whoever had pulled her out of the tank. She gripped their clothing, trying to ground herself to reality as she squeezed her eyes shut. "P-Please, I can't," she continued to stammer, shaking from either the fear or the cold. She wasn't sure. "He... He saw me. I know... I know he did."

"Breathe, Ana," Radcliffe whispered, securing the robe around her shivering form. He took the device off her head and ripped off the wired patches with ease, still holding her close. "You're fine, child," he said softly, rubbing her back as she took frantic breaths. "You're safe."

Anastasia focused on his features, shaking her head. "Please, don't make me do that again."

"But, it worked," Strange commented from his spot, still clicking away at his computer as he looked over the data they had collected. He chuckled, grinning. "It still fucking works."

"Hugo..." Radcliffe said sternly, shooting the man a sharp glare. "Enough."

Strange rolled his eyes, not bothering to look in Anastasia's direction. "Fine, we're done for today," he mumbled, focusing on his report. "Get some rest, sweet Anastasia. We'll start again tomorrow. Remember, this is the only way we'll find Laura."

She frowned, standing to her feet with Radcliffe's help. Her whole body felt drained, exhausted to the point where she felt as if she would pass out. She continued to tremble, clutching onto the rope. Radcliffe was gentle, leading her slowly toward the showers. Though, he had trouble helping her walk since he relied on a cane himself. She moved slowly, feeling her bare feet touch the tiled ground. Perhaps, a hot shower would help raise her body temperature. She never liked the cold.

"Take your time," he said softly, giving her a sad smile. "Find us when you're done."

She watched him walk off, listening to the tapping of his wooden cane.

Anastasia showered, rinsing the salt from her hair and off her skin. She was grateful for the hot water, feeling it burn her skin as she sniffled. She had seen her father in the other world during Memory Lane, but this was different. She could vividly see the hatred her father held in his heart for her, even after all she gave him was her love. She loved her father, just as much as she had loved her mother. But, he couldn't reciprocate those feelings. All he had in his heart was hatred and a burning need for revenge. Even five years after his death, she was still terrified of the man.

After the shower, she put on the fresh clothing that Doctor Radcliffe had laid out. The old clothing was tossed in a nearby laundry basket, most likely to be burned if they were that terrified of the virus. She approached Radcliffe and Strange slowly, barely making a sound as she listened to their hushed conversation.

"This isn't right, Hugo," Radcliffe sternly said, voice sharp and full of anger directed toward Doctor Strange. She peered around the corner, seeing the man's eyes narrowed into a glare. "Do you realize what could happen if anyone finds out what we're doing? What if her husband finds out? He was already threatening to sue the Asylum and shut it down when he wasn't allowed to take her home."

"Look, she agreed to it, didn't she?" Strange pointed out, shrugging his shoulders. He didn't seem worried about Bruce Wayne and his lawyers, willing to do anything for his own twisted agenda. "And, the GCPD is aware. They were the ones who told us to help Anastasia remember what happened so they can find the other missing girl."

"Aware... to an extent," Radcliffe reminded, shaking his head. His jaw clenched, looking at the tank. "They don't know what we're doing down here. If they saw this, they would shut us down themselves."

"It won't come to that," Strange huffed, annoyance painted across his features. It didn't seem that Radcliffe and Strange got along, making her wonder how their dynamic worked when Doctor Franklin was alive. But, he was dead. And, it had been her fault too. After their conversation, he had a psychotic break and stabbed himself to death. "You read the report, Arthur. She was in the other world for months. We just... We need her to show us how to━━"

"Anastasia!" Radcliffe called out, interrupting Strange when he spotted her by the door. He cleared his throat, forcing a smile as he beckoned for her to come in.

She stood awkwardly, sniffling as she stared at them. "I finished my shower."

"You shouldn't listen into other peoples' conversations, Char━━Anastasia," Strange scolded, almost calling her by her mother's name as he shook his head. He cleared his throat, standing straight. "It's bad manners."

"I didn't hear anything," she lied.

Strange hummed, pleased.

"Let us head back upstairs. There is someone here to see you," Radcliffe said, trying to distract her from their conversation as he led Anastasia out of the room. Strange followed, but lingered behind. "We got the call while you were showering. Your husband Bruce is here to see you."

"Bruce is here?" she asked, smiling softly.

"Remember, you can't tell anyone what happened here," Strange called out, causing them to look back at him. He had his hands clasped behind his back, watching them. But, she could only see their reflection in his glasses. "We report back to only Lieutenant Gordon and Detective Gideon. So tell me, can you inform your husband about what we're doing here?"

Anastasia shook her head. No.

"See, you understand. It's an open investigation. He doesn't need to know anything," Strange smiled, nodding. "And, if you want to keep your visitation rights, you'll do exactly as I━━we say."

She nodded. "Okay, whatever you say."

It took about ten minutes to reach the visiting room from the underground lab, not feeling the same nerves as yesterday about seeing Bruce. She felt better prepared, knowing exactly what she wanted to tell him. Doctor Radcliffe took a seat on a nearby bench, telling her to take as much time as she wanted. She smiled at him, nodding her head. They hadn't talked on the way up, not knowing what to say to each other. It seemed as if Radcliffe had wanted to say something, but he restrained himself. And, Anastasia didn't ask.

She opened the door, smiling at Bruce as she closed the door behind her to give them that privacy. Though, she could see a small camera recording in the corner of the room so they weren't truly alone. "Hello again, Bruce."

"Hi, Ana," he said softly, watching as she took a seat across from him. He looked better today physically, donning his regular white dress shirt and black suit. His hair had been brushed and it looked as if some color had returned to his skin. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," she lied, not wanting to give Bruce the details of her day. It would be... embarrassing to admit that she woke up with almost murdering her roommate then forced into an experiment that pushed her over the edge. She shivered, still feeling the cold water of the tank within her bones. "How are you?"

"Fine," Bruce answered the same, nodding his head. He tilted his head, eyes drifting downward as a frown appeared upon his lips. He pointed to her neck, causing her to let out a soft breath. For a moment, his eyes darkened as he leaned close to the glass. "Who did that to you?"

"No one," she reassured, shaking her head. She brushed a hand against her neck, wishing her nightmares didn't have such a violent effect on herself and others. She stared at her own nails, noticing how long they had gotten. Her fake nails had broken off months ago in the other world, leaving her natural ones exposed. "I did it to myself. And," she held up her hand, stopping him from speaking, "before you ask, I'm fine. These clothes are so itchy, so I didn't realize I was scratching myself till it was too late."

"Please, Ana, be more careful," he sternly said, shaking his head. He believed her words, good. It made her realize she was slowly getting better at lying to him. It was becoming second nature at that point, considering she told more lies than she could keep track of. "Once you're home, you can go back to wearing all your old clothes. I even went shopping with Alfred, picked out a lot of new stuff that I think you'll like."

"Was it Alfred's idea?" she chuckled, shaking her head. She had gone shopping with Bruce a few times, finding it fun to try on a bunch of different clothes for him. It was like a private fashion show with just the two of them, but Bruce was too busy these days to even notice if she had bought a new blouse.

He smiled, clicking his tongue. "No, it was mine, actually," he said, causing her to raise a brow. She hadn't expected it to be his idea, but she thought it was sweet of him. "I thought you might like the idea of coming home to new things since the old stuff might remind you of... Well, you know."

She frowned, biting the inside of her cheek as she looked away from him for a brief moment. Tell him, Anastasia. Her mind told her and she found herself agreeing. Bruce deserved to know and perhaps, if anyone would believe her, it would be her husband. She turned to look at Bruce, noticing that his expression had changed. It was as if he could tell what she was thinking, being able to read her without much effort. She took a sharp breath, ignoring how her lungs burned. Clasping her hands together, she rested them on the table. "Bruce," she started slowly. "I need to tell you something."

He nodded. "Anything, Anastasia."

And so, she told him the truth.

Everything.

She started from the beginning when she had first started to doubt her mind ━━ the meeting with the late Carmine Falcone. Next, she had told him about the files and the lengths she had gone to decrypt them. She told him how she might have caused Doctor Rupert Franklin's death. She told him about Eric Sato and how she may have led him to being infected. She mentioned working with known criminals Erina Sato and Emmett Novak. She told him about the hallucinations of the creatures that had haunted her for a long time, especially more so after the debate. She told him how Mayor Harvey Dent had threatened to kill her, but a coin toss had allowed him to spare her life. Then, the undercover mission she had gone on with Laura. She told him about the underground lab, claiming to see a creature down there. And eventually, she told him about what had happened at the Charlotte Hotel and the other world. She told him about Memory Lane, telling him of Cece and Charlie, and how she needed to save Laura from the Heart. She told him everything, every secret was put out in front of him. The only thing she didn't dare to mention was the experiment that Doctor Strange and Doctor Radcliffe put her through, knowing they were listening. She didn't want to lose her visitation rights. But other than that, she told Bruce everything.

"Do you believe me, Bruce?"

Throughout it all, Bruce had stayed quiet and watched her with unreadable eyes. She wasn't sure what was going through his mind, feeling as if she was staring at a complete stranger. Bruce was always easy to read, but... this was different. For a moment, his eyes flickered to the camera recording in the corner and that influenced the words he said. He sighed, looking down at his own hands. His knuckles were busted open, making her frown because she hadn't noticed till then. But, she didn't comment on it. She didn't dare change the subject, wanting to hear the answer to her question.

"Bruce?" She whispered his name, silently pleading with him. She needed someone to believe her, be on her side. She needed that, tired of being treated as if she had lost her mind. "Please, say something."

"I believe you when you say that these things are very real to you," Bruce started softly, causing her heart to shatter at his calculated words. She stared at him, feeling a sense of betrayal at the fact her own husband didn't believe a word she said. He shook his head. "Don't do this again, Ana. Come back to reality. Come back to me."

"Bruce, I know what I saw!" she shouted, trying to ignore the tears that blurred her vision. "Why don't you believe me?"

"Darling, listen to me," he said softly, speaking in a quiet tone despite her shouting. His eyes had become bloodshot, threading on exhaustion. "We've been through this before. When your father died five years ago, you had the same delusions━━"

"Stop it! They aren't delusions, Bruce!" she snapped at him, feeling her heart slowly turn to stone as she glared at him. "I'm not crazy. I'm not. Please, I need you to believe me."

"I know you believe in it, Ana," he said slowly, letting out a deep sigh. He wanted to reach out, hold her close. It was how he had always comforted her before, but it wouldn't work this time. Nothing could help her, not when it was her against the whole world. "But sometimes, trauma has a way of morphing our reality."

She shook her head, no longer fighting the tears that drenched her cheeks. "No, Bruce, listen━━"

"I believe something bad happened to you, my darling," he said, watching her with a saddened expression. There was nothing he could do on the other side of the thick glass. "And, you're right when you say a monster caused your injuries and held you captive for what feels like months. It was too much for your mind to handle. It conjured up some kind of monster and that was your mind's way of understanding what happened. It's your mind trying to protect itself."

"I know what I saw... what I felt... I was stuck there for months, Bruce," she whispered, trying to swallow down the lump growing in her throat. "You have to believe me."

Bruce stayed quiet, unable to meet her eyes.

"Laura's life depends on it, Bruce. She's still stuck in that other world," she pleaded, placing a hand against the glass as she tried to get him to look up. "I tried looking for her, but that place is a maze. It's too dangerous and we can't sit here and do nothing. We have to do something, Bruce. Please!"

"The GCPD are looking for her, Ana," he said, meeting her green eyes. All emotion had left his eyes. He wore a mask, something she wanted to rip off and reveal his true self. "And, they need to focus on finding her. It's why you need to stay here, so you can recover. But, I'm working on getting you out of here, so I can make sure you get the best care. In the manor, you'll be safe. In case those... monsters come looking for you again. Okay?"

"But, they can't get to her, Bruce! Have you not been listening?" she shouted, slamming a fist against the table as she narrowed her eyes at him. He didn't flinch, watching her with a blank expression. "I told you. She is trapped in the Heart of the other world. It exists in a different dimension and we're the only ones who can find her!"

"We will, don't worry. You don't have to worry about anything," he said, sighing as he silently told Anastasia to calm down. These kinds of reactions weren't good for her health, adding more mental strain on her mind. "I will handle this, okay? And, the GCPD will help."

"How can you fix this, Bruce?" she scoffed, shaking her head as she wiped away the stray tears. A headache had begun to pound against her skull. She stood, taking a step back as she wrapped her arms around herself. "You don't believe a word I say. You are just like everyone else, thinking I have lost my mind."

"Ana, that isn't true. I believe you, but━━"

"I can't believe I trusted you," she whispered, shaking her head. Her bottom lip trembled, refusing to look at him. Her words seemed to strike him like a knife, watching as his mask broke for a brief moment. Hurt flashed across his features, but he was quick to build his wall. "You should go home, Bruce. I don't want to see you right now."

"Ana, please don't do this━━"

She didn't let him finish, leaving the room as she slammed the door shut. It startled Doctor Radcliffe and the armed guards that stood by the entrance, but she didn't care if they shot her dead at that moment. She walked toward Radcliffe, stopping in front of him as she watched him through unshed tears. "Take me back to my room, please."

He nodded. "Of course, child."

They moved in silence, not daring to say a word as he led her through the halls of Arkham Asylum. He didn't question what had happened, seeing it written across her face instead. He stood in front of the door into her room, flashing his badge against the sense. She heard the familiar click as the door unlocked. "Either I or Strange will come back later," he said softly, offering a weak smile, "for another round of medication."

She nodded, opening the door as she waved goodbye to Doctor Strange for the time being. The door closed behind her, locking automatically. She looked around the room, spotting Birdie seated at her bed as she read a book.

"I'm starting to like your husband. He packed such a nice gift basket for you," Birdie teased, holding up the novel for Anastasia to get a better look. She held a candy bar in her other hand, nibbling on the chocolate. It was the same basket that Bruce had brought the night before, finally the doctors had allowed them to have it. She showed her the scribbles written all over the pages. "It took me a few pages to figure out whose writing was whose," she pointed out, chuckling. "Your notes are just random cute thoughts while Bruce has a whole in-depth analysis already on the title page."

"I think he only read the stupid novels because he wants to feel closer to me," Anastasia confessed, taking a seat on her bed as a heavy sigh left her lips. She didn't realize how exhausted she was, stifling a yawn. She laid down, staring at the ceiling. "He does these things from time to time. He'll binge watch my favorite shows and movies, read my favorite books and look into whatever new hobby I have that week."

Birdie smiled. "How sweet."

"I suppose," Anastasia mumbled, still feeling anger toward her husband after the words they had shared. For the first time, she truly felt alone and that terrified her. "He is only trying to make up for being absent. There is always something more important, so we rarely spend any time together. It's his way of trying to make an effort. But, I would rather spend the time with him than watch him play catch up."

"Oh..." Birdie mumbled, noticing Anastasia's sour mood. She closed the book, setting it down on the bedside table as she tapped her fingers against her knee. "At the very least, he's trying. That must count for something."

"It would... If I wasn't dying, you know?" Anastasia scoffed, rolling her eyes as she continued to study the white-painted ceiling. "It's too late. I spent years trying to get his attention. He was always preoccupied, spent most of his nights out and slept during the day while I was at work. It felt as if we were strangers in the same house." She paused, sighing. "Then, I was almost killed at the debate and I think that caused something to change him. For a week or so, I was in a coma of sorts. He was around more often. Or at least, he tried to be. But, then again, I was different this time around. I stopped trying to reach out to him and pushed him away at every chance I got. Then, I disappeared for months. Uh, weeks ━━ two weeks."

"I think it's just the trauma talking," Birdie commented, shrugging her shoulders. Her curly hair fell into her eyes, but still she found it within herself to smile at Anastasia. "You've been through so much in such a short amount of time. You're feeling numb, exhausted. It's your mind trying to protect itself."

And, there it was again.

The same conclusion everyone drew about her, the exact same words everyone said.

It's your mind trying to protect itself.

It's your mind trying to protect itself.

It's your mind trying to protect itself.

"Ana?"

"I feel bad for shutting Bruce out," Anastasia said, trying not to show any discomfort as she effortlessly carried on the conversation with Birdie. She forced a smile onto her face, staring at the other woman. "But, he doesn't believe me. No one does. He thinks I've lost my mind."

"I think, Ana, that right now, your biggest concern should be restoring yourself to your full health," Birdie said, making Anastasia frown as she focused on the woman's words. "If he doesn't believe you, then so what? Trust yourself. Trust what you saw and what you went through. No one can take that away from you. So, for the moment, just worry about getting out of here and everything else will come afterward."

"I'll take that into consideration," she mumbled, closing her eyes.

"Are we friends?" Birdie suddenly asked, but Anastasia kept her eyes closed as she continued to listen. She didn't mind Birdie talking, wanting to focus on something other than her racing thoughts. "I mean, you did try to kill me this morning and then I comforted you. And, I did read a few chapters of your favorite novel with your and Bruce's annotations. I feel as if I understand you and him a lot better."

Anastasia sighed, shrugging. "Sure, we can be friends, Birdie."

"For the next two weeks, that is," she added, chuckling as she picked up the book again to return to where she was at. Anastasia could hear the sound of the pages moving, listening to Birdie hum. "Then, it's lights out for us."

She tried not to show how much the statement affected her, feeling a deep ache within her chest as fresh tears pricked at her eyes. Reaching for the scratchy sheets, she wrapped them around herself as she turned away from Birdie and the lamp's dull light. "Here's to the next two weeks of our lives."

"The last two weeks," Birdie corrected, laughing at the grim fate facing them on the horizon. "Well, it should be about ten days for me since I was here longer than you. As for you, there's still twelve days left," she added, still teasing. "If it provides you any solace, you're the best roommate I've ever had."

Anastasia laughed, shaking her head. "Thanks, Bird," she said. "I'll keep that in mind when they drag out your corpse."

It was Birdie's turn to laugh. "You'll miss me when I'm gone, Ana. Just you watch."

♡

I AM REALLY GOING WITH THE FLOW FOR THESE ARKHAM CHAPTERS, considering things are being added and cut with every draft. I originally didn't have a scene with Bruce in this chapter, but at the last second, I was like let's throw him in there, it's time for Anastasia to tell him the truth. And, I think it worked well and it is somewhat of a turning point for her in their relationship. I did say things were going to get a lot worse before they get better and here it is. Things are getting worse, but everything has a purpose. I am so excited for future Ana and Bruce scenes because they'll be similar yet the vibe will be completely different. Lots of raw unfiltered emotions will be making appearances and we'll explore a side of human nature that we only seen when pushed to the edge. I am excited, considering this book was never supposed to be horror when I first started writing it. But, now it is a spooky book and I am okay with it.

A lot happened in this chapter, I feel like. Most importantly, the experiment that Strange and Radcliffe are pulling. Like Ana, please, don't be so trusting. It was heavily inspired by a scene during the first season of Fringe (a show that I recently started after one of my best friends recommended it and it is so good) and bits of Stranger Things. I like to draw inspiration from as many places as I can and mash it all together. We kind of got to see Ana and Laura's first meeting. But, we also saw more of William and honestly, he is going to get worse. Once we get into what he was up to and the crimes he committed to get to the top, we will have nothing but hatred in our hearts for him. I already hate him because I know what he did and the lives he destroyed, but we'll learn more in Memory Lane. Also, I hope as we uncover the past, it makes more sense why Bruce is so weirdly overprotective and secretive around Anastasia. And, why he absolutely refuses to tell Anastasia that he's Batman. There's a lot he knows and has been through and he's genuinely just scared of Ana getting hurt again. At the end of the day, everything he does is to protect her. 😭

It makes me sad to see how similar Ana is to her father too, considering she has his temper. She was raised by him after her mother died, so a lot of his personality is in her. But, she is also so much like her mother.  She has her mother's kindness, but her father's determination. She is also an accumulation of other people. Mrs. Potts, who we haven't even met in the book yet. Edward, Scott, and Simone who played a huge part in Anastasia's life, but she has no stable memory of them. And, of course Bruce, Alfred, and Laura helped her become the woman she is today. She's so much like these people and some, she doesn't even remember. She's also so different from where she started in chapter one. I went back to reread it and oh my god, she was a baby. Now, she's someone else completely. But at the end of the day, Anastasia is still there and it'll take her time to find herself again.

A quick update on me; I think updates might start to come a little slower. I have been feeling so burnt out lately with everything, especially work. I feel like I spend all my waking hours at work and it is so draining. I only have time to write on days off and that is making progress so slow and I feel like they lack something. Like the last chapter, I am still so iffy about it still. But, I am going just focus on moving forward and trying to bring you guys the best version of the book that I can. It's almost the one year anniversary of this book. I posted it on April 5th, 2022 and I can't believe how fast a year passes. I want to thank everyone who has been here since the beginning and the ones who just joined the journey. Thank you for being here and supporting my work. It means a lot and it truly warms my heart to see you guys so excited for my little characters and book. Thank you all, seriously.

I don't have an idea of what I want to include in the next chapter, but I still it should be the last chapter in the Asylum? Or at least, the second to last because I don't want to spend too much time here. I feel bad because it is such a huge plot point for the book, considering the virus is getting worse and so is Ana. But, I poorly planned out this part and now I have no idea what to do (other than having a huge board idea). But hopefully, something will come to mind. I know we'll see more of Birdie and John. Haha, I might include a scene with Harleen Quinzel, but probably not because the plot doesn't work out. I know we'll see more of Radcliffe and Strange. Maybe more of Bruce? Now, that I'm writing this author's note, I'm thinking of Bruce POV next chapter could work too so we can see more of what is going outside the Asylum. But then again, staying in Anastasia's POV makes us feel trapped in the Asylum too. I'll see! Keep your eyes out for the next chapter! Let me know what you guys are thinking!

AMARA.
[ PUBLISH DATE ━━ 03.08.2023]