Time ticks by as I watch the clock move its hands of time. 

Silently hoping it will be soon, but then I won't be with you.
Your threats to harm yourself when I harm my own skin.
Make me stop and cry, because I'm losing inside.
I don't want you hurt but I want my pain.

But that's why you did it, isn't it?
To have power over me knowing I don't want you hurt.
My music calms me, every single word.
I want to be gone, I want to bleed and say goodbye.
But you say turn the music on and I—
I listen and hear my steadying heartbeat.
In the silence of this empty home, forgotten by my neglectful mother.
Then I nod and know.

You are different from any boy I know.
But that's what makes you special...
So after you calm me we talk for a bit, boyfriend and girlfriend one on one...

But then I feel sad and in my blinded moment after your gone.
Blood dripped into cloudy water, a bloody razor on my other hand.
I don't know what happened in between.
But now I know you'll harm yourself to.

And all I can say is, please don't.

I love you. 

And will never forgive myself if you do.