Lost in thought, I stayed gazing absently out my window at Cemetery Raven.

Rhys had been harsh with Zil, and though what Zil did to the man had been horrific, he'd defended himself like anyone else would have ... except the biting to kill part. He'd also clearly believed he should apologize – and made the effort to. But he shouldn't have. I'd followed him.

I couldn't allow things to stand the way they were. Zil needed to know how I felt about what happened, and his apology. I needed something, too – to know that I'd been right in defending him to Rhys.

Wishing there was another way than to go to his tomb, I went back downstairs and left for Cemetery Raven.

I entered the grounds and didn't stop until I'd reached the gothic-style mausoleum. Standing at Zil's door, I started to knock, but hesitated when the image of him with the man popped into my mind. Quickly pushing aside the thought so I wouldn't chicken out and leave instead, I rapped on the door. "Zil? It's Ashe."

The door opened and Zil stood in the doorway. I wanted to be the first one to speak – but I couldn't find the words. He looked like he wanted to say something, too. But what was there to say – that he attacked the man, bit him, and killed him? I knew that. That he was a vampire? I knew that, too.

In an effort to lessen the strangeness between us, I started. "It seems I'm a rogue. I was out walking and decided to knock on the door of the nicest tomb to see what I'd find. And look, I found you."

He turned and walked – somewhere. Uncertain if I'd insulted him and he'd left, a silent invitation for me go away, I peered into the dark crypt.

As I tried to decide whether I should leave or stay, I heard the sound of something metal creaking quietly. It was followed by a gentle hiss and then the sudden burst of a tiny flame. Zil placed the match he'd struck to a candle mounted on the granite wall. When the wick lit, he waved the match in the air to extinguish it, and put it into a metal canister bolted beneath. Only his profile was illuminated within the soft glow of the miniscule blaze ... until he turned to face me. It was a marvel to behold how his skin appeared like polished porcelain and how his emerald eyes shimmered in the sparse light. "Now you will be able to see. If you wish, you may come in."

It was unintentional, but my whispered exhale was sharp. Uncontrolled, damning thoughts of my own encounter with his vampirien side, paired with the night's earlier events, stopped me. And the way he stood there, looking at me ... eerily still ... too still, the 'dead' kind of still ... and the knowledge that he was dead, was almost too much.

Zil broke the heavy silence. "Ashe, what you saw earlier ... I never meant for you to see."

I was about to lose it and I needed to pull myself together. Trying to appear unfazed by the situation I'd just put myself in, I replied, "I'm not here about that. I just wanted to say ... you're my friend. Don't expect more of an explanation because I can't give one."

A long, silent moment passed between us, and I prayed I hadn't made a mistake in going to see him. I was relieved when he said, "Rhys – he is a friend of yours?"

"My best friend. He was just ... he'll come around. It was just a shock."

I could hear the regret in his whisper. "Will you?"

"Yeah. I told you. I'm fine with it." Inwardly, I cringed at my lie.

We both stopped talking. Finally, unable to stand the awkward silence between us, I stepped inside his tomb.

In a pace faster than a mortal's, but so I could still follow him with my eyes, Zil went to light a second candle. After disposing the match into a metal container that held ones previously used, he went to close the door. It wasn't immediate, but then he turned.

Without meaning to, I looked to the marble slab where I'd first seen him inside the tomb – and I began to tremble.

"Chere ..." His eyes dulled. "Are you thinking about what happened?"

My pretense crumbled and he was there, hugging me. After a moment of being in his cold embrace, I whispered, "I'm okay."

He released me. Then, he gently took me by my arms and looked me directly in the eye. "You know I would not have advanced on you had I not been startled awake, do you not?"

As much as I wanted to say I did ... I couldn't.

"Ashe," he said quietly, "I would never ... it is the wild in me, the bad, that reacted. Not the part of me that is good."

"I said I'm okay." Feeling guilty that I'd just snapped at him, and desperate to get us past the moment, I said, "I'm sorry. So ... what's it like?"

He let go of me. "What is what like?"

"Being a vampire. Do you ever wish you could change it?"

Seeming to choose his words carefully, Zil said, "It is a futile endeavor. I have lived for a very long time, and I am grateful. A person could go mad contemplating what should have been." Distrustful eyes gazed back at me through the feeble candlelight. Softly, he asked, "Are you not afraid to be here, alone with me, Ashe, knowing what I am?"

His hesitancy, and the fact that he cared what my answer would be, was unexpected. "You said you wouldn't hurt me, so I'm trusting you, which is saying a lot. I don't trust easily."

He gave a small smile. "Yes, I did – and I will keep that promise."

The conversation, rocky at the start, had turned out better than I thought it would. Ready to move on to the topic of ghost hunting Greenwoods Cemetery, I moved to sit on the marble slab, but then something incredibly sharp grazed my shin. I lifted my pant leg to look ...

Blood trickled down my leg.

Too late, I realized what I'd done. I looked up at Zil.

Keeping very still, he watched.

With shaky hands, I quickly lowered my pant leg. Waiting to see what he'd do, I slowly straightened. "I'm ... sorry."

His voice was strained. "I will be right back." Too fast for my eyes to see, he disappeared.

I tried to hear something, anything, but the nearly empty chamber was soundless – except for the maddening quaking of my voice as I called out, "Zil? Where are you?"

Completely silent, he gradually came into view. As he moved toward me, the shadows from the meager candlelight slowly washed from him and then, like a curtain, gently closed after he'd passed. While I was relieved to know I hadn't been abandoned inside of his dark tomb, the way he looked taking his time, like a predator after its prey, spooked me.

I shut my eyes. Was it intentional, my punishment for bleeding in front of him?

"Take this."

I opened my eyes. Zil was holding a small white towel out to me. "If you do not, someone may think I did a terrible thing. Besides, I like to keep my home clean."

His words – teasing.

His gaze – intense.

Praying he wouldn't need to be reminded of his promise not to hurt me, I reached for it. "Thank you."

With a slight smile, he took a step back.

"Will it bother you if I clean it here?"

He was suddenly there. "A solemn vow. I hope you will understand now," he whispered.

I wanted to rail on him for the panic he'd created in me. But not knowing what reaction I'd get, I replied, "Is that what I'm supposed to understand – that you won't hurt me, even with my blood flowing where you can see it, taunting you?"

In an unexpected move, perhaps in an attempt to prove himself trustworthy, Zil reached up and caressed my cheek lightly. I shuddered at his closeness, but I was also momentarily transfixed. Involuntarily, my mind drifted to the moment just before Zil killed the man – and I wondered if his victim didn't mind that Zil's face would be the last thing he'd see as he died.

Leaning closer, Zil whispered, "I am not a villain." His lips were tender against my cheek.

I shivered at his cold breath on my skin, and murmured, "You're breathing. I didn't know you would ... or needed to."

"It is voluntary and has become a habit." Suddenly looking uncomfortable, Zil broke contact and stepped back. "I apologize. You did not come here for ... I will leave you to tend to your wound."

As he moved from me, I noticed a musky, sweet scent for the first time. "You're wearing cologne."

"After shave."

"After ...? Do you shave?"

"No, but I like the way it feels on my skin. Not many things make me feel alive, so the few that do, I like to have with me."

His comment meant a lot to me. It made him sound almost human, a useful lie until I could get used to his – condition.

I quickly finished cleaning my blood from my skin and lowered my pant leg. I held out the cloth to him. "Do you ... want this back?"

Keeping his eyes to mine, Zil accepted it as I clumsily handed it over, grateful he didn't take a quick sniff or taste.

He left but quickly returned.

"I, um ... I came here to ask if you wanted to go ghost hunting."

"Yes, but have you not had enough of the supernatural for one night?"

I crossed my arms. "Are you questioning if I can handle seeing more scary things tonight?"

His smile was kind. "I am. Perhaps tomorrow would be better." Before I could agree, or disagree, with his suggestion, he distracted me. "I have something for you."

He didn't have any money and I questioned why he'd have a gift for me, wondering if it had something to do with vampirien debauchery of some sort, like a souvenir he'd taken from the man he'd killed. I started to object ... but was left standing alone in the dark. A moment later, Zil came back holding a bag with writing on it – The Paranormal Shop. "For ghost hunting? What is it?"

"I do not know. You dropped it at the Rundown."

"At the rundown – what?"

Zil's lips curled into a wry smile. "That is the name of the place you followed me to tonight."

I reached for the bag and opened it. All of the ghost hunting equipment I'd bought was still there. "I got these to help us ghost hunt. I followed you so you could see them."

"I did. Come. I will walk you home."

We left his tomb and walked back to my house in silence. When we reached it, I left him at the sidewalk without bidding him goodnight. I opened the door, but instead of walking inside and closing it, I turned to look at him from within the doorway. With a ridiculous, slight bow, Zil turned, and walked back down to the end of my street. I stepped back, closed the door, and went upstairs to my bedroom. I placed the bag next to my bed, and then lay down without bothering to first change into my pj's. As I pulled the blanket over me, I thought about the night's events, and whether or not I'd be able to handle more involvement with the Underground ... and what my decision would mean for my ghost hunting.