I turn to Evan in shock as a flood of emotions rushes through me. "Babe, They want me to-" I stop myself as I remember who I am talking to. Evan Xavier Sanchez. My boyfriend. The man who needs and depends on me with every breath that we inhale in the same period of time. The man that can't do everything for himself, which I somehow always forget to remember. If I left him alone, would he be okay without me? No, wait, of course he would. How stupid and insensitive can I get? Wow, Ava. Evan was in the Coast Guard with you for three years; he will be fine. Stop worrying about him so much.
    "Who wants you to do what?" He asks, looking up at me. "Ava, what in the world are you talking about?"
    I get down on my knees next to him and take his hands in my own. His skin is warm and smooth, though I can feel the rough callouses on his palms from pushing his chair around all the time. I suppose I have them, too. Maybe not from the same things, but my hands have certainly seen better days.
    "Evan, that was Captain Bender. Do you remember him?" I ask carefully, not wanting to move into topics that I know are hard for him. We both have our share of slight post-traumatic stress effects from our years in the Academy.
    Evan nods after a look of recognition passes over his face. "Yes. I do."
    "Good." I squeeze his hands tighter with mine, applying, steady, even pressure. "Baby, Captain Bender wants me to go away on a mission for a while, okay? I need to go. If I don't, then he will be angry with me, and I don't want that, alright?"
    He casts his eyes down, not answering me.
    "Evan? Baby, please. I need to know that it's okay for me to go."
    When he looks back up at me, his eyes are red-stained and angry. There is hurt somewhere in there, as well, and I already know that he wishes for me not to take this opportunity.
    "I don't want you to go."
    "Evan, I have to. Bender chose me, and I have to go for him. Do you understand?"
    "Yes, Aviana! I understand! I freaking understand! Am I not allowed to have an opinion on something that you might die in the process of doing? Tell me, am I?!"
    "Evan-" I start to protest.
    "No! I-I don't want you to go, Ava. Where would I be without you? Face it: I can't live without you, anymore. I'm too screwed up for that, now. Do you not remember the accident from last year? I still have not recovered fully. They told me that I will never walk normally again, and that my brain is screwed up. In short, I am now a cripple, and there is nothing I can do about that. Is that enough of a reason for you to stay?"
    I slowly drop his hands, scooting backward and getting up from the floor, looking down at the skin of my knees where the cracks in the hardwood had dug in. "I'm sorry. Baby, I'm, so, so sorry, but I can't stay. You know that. It's just not logical if I want to get promoted within the Guard. Okay?"
    Evan returns his eyes to the floor. "Okay."
    "Thank you." And, with that, I walk into our bedroom to start packing.