Both of the directors and Noah tell me that I'm should bring home my mellophone tonight so I can practice. The first show is in less than a week and I have absolutely no experience on this instrument. The logic makes sense and time is very valuable right now,  but I decide to put it off until tomorrow so that I have time to break the news to my mom. I'm not really sure how she is going to react. I know she said I could switch instruments if I wanted to, but she didn't ever mention what would happen if I destroyed the instrument she paid for.  I feel like maybe the car ride home would be good because then she can't through anything at me ( not that she ever would, but honestly you never know. I've been tempted to throw shit too). Plus, when we get home that will probably end the conversation which would be preferred. 

 I stand outside the band room, chatting with Julia until I see my mom's blue Ford pull up. I tell Julia I'll see her tomorrow and start heading towards the car. I lower my head to get in the car and close the door behind me. "Hey Mom," I say but I don't get a response. I look over into the driver seat and that's when I knew something was up. "Amanda?"

"Could you buckle up already?" Amanda says. "We're kinda in a hurry."

"Where's mom?" I ask, starting to get concerned. Amanda was starting to freak me out. Where was my mom? She always picks me up from school and I know she hates when Amanda drives her car. Something must be seriously wrong.

"She's at the hospital. That's where we're going next. "

*****************************

On the way into the hospital, we stop at the little gift shop just inside the door for some flowers. They have daisies, which happen to be her favorite. We picked out a small bouquet and paid for it at the counter. I suggest getting the tiny stuffed tiger they have as well since those are her favorite animal but Amanda just nods her head no. 

We approach the front desk and give them our Mom's name. They give us a room number and point us in the right direction. We ride the elevator up four floors and look towards the directory in the hall once the doors opened. A nurse walks by and I ask her which way her room is. She points to the left and gives us a sympathetic look. I begin to fill with more worry than I already had since no one had actually told me what is going on yet. 

Amanda leads the way and we eventually find the room  Mom is supposed to be in. Only one problem though: she's not there. I feel the panic set in. "Where is she?" I ask Amanda.

She's freaking out even more than I was. She snapped at me "How the hell am I supposed to know? Did you not see me walk into the room at the same time you did?"

I hold off my hands pushing her off metaphorically. "Well, how am I supposed to know what you dod or do not know? You haven't told me much of anything about what happened. What am I supposed to think?" 

"I'm sorry," Amanda says. "This whole situation is just really stressful. The hospital called my cell phone when I was at the gym and all they told me was to come here as soon as possible. I tried asking questions but they said they wouldn't answer any of them unless I was there in person. It was right before I came to pick you up. I'm just as clueless as you are right now."

 We start pacing the room, but it's absolutely silent.  I chew on my nails like I always do when I get nervous. Amanda was pulling on her hair. The bickering has stopped. Our mom would be so shocked. This hadn't happened since we got the news about dad.

After what seemed like an hour (but was only 10 minutes), a nurse wanders into the room. We look up, startled from our trance. Amanda, be older, speaks up first. "Excuse me ma'am. Do happen to know where our mom is?"

The nurse holds up a one-second finger and checks a couple papers on the wall and turns back to us. "It looks like the doctors took her to surgery about 30 mins ago. She should be back soon girls. Hang in there. If you need anything just give a ring." The nurse points to a blinking button on the wall and flashes a kind smile before she leaves.

Once she does, I go up to Amanda and put both my hands on her shoulders and shake her as I talk. "Surgery? What the hell happened!?!"

Amanda pushes me off and throws her hands in the air. "I don't even know! Before. I went to the gym, we were sitting there, eating lunch together, perfectly normal. She clutched her chest for like a second and I asked if she was okay and she waved it off as heartburn. Oh God. Do you think she had a heart attack? This is all my fault. I should have done something."

The news from the nurse and my sister was not at all what I had been expecting. My mom is too healthy, too awesome, to be having a heart attack. This can't seriously be happening. This is just too soon. I can't even bare the thought of losing another parent again. That pain is unimaginable and it terrifies me. "What do we do?" I say in a small voice.

"Looks like we just have to sit and wait. It's all we really can do unless you learned how to do open heart surgery at band camp," Amanda says. I can tell she was trying to lighten the mood, but I just can't. We fall into a silence after that. I sit and think to myself. Amanda stares into nothing, occasionally looking down to answer a text.

I decide that's a good idea and do the same. I could use a little distraction. I have no idea how long the surgery would last so I might as well get comfortable. Thankfully, my battery is almost full since I couldn't use my phone during band.  I find two texts on my phone, one from Julia and one from Noah.

The one from Julia: Hey. Wanna do something later? :)

That one is easy. I just text her I'm busy back and she leaves it at that. Noah is a little more tricky.

Hey. You forgot to take your mellophone home. Want me to drop it at your house?

I try to think about what to text back, but somehow I can't seem to form words.  I don't want to offend Noah by telling him I don't want to practice tonight, but there is no way that's happening now. Plus, my mom is in surgery so there's no way I can tell her I switched tonight even if I wanted to. Even once she's out I won't be able to tell her for a few days.  I cannot upset her right now. Not with her weak heart.

I decide to tell the truth. I think I have a pretty valid excuse: Sorry about that. I was in a rush to get out of there. I won't be home tonight. I'm at the hospital.  Kinda having a family emergency.

Oh no! Are you alright? :(. I receive back from Noah quickly. .

I text him about my mom and what is happening. He sends back his apologies and offers to come to sit with me but I tell him it's best if it's just me and Amanda waiting for her. He respects my decision and responds that he'll see me tomorrow. 

I meant to text back, but at that moment, our mom was rolled in on a gurney. She was super pale and had all sorts of cords and monitors attached to her.  She was still out cold, but alive. Thank god.

"Is she going to be okay?" Amanda asks going to one side of my mom,  and I go to the other.

"Yes," the doctor says. "Everything went fine. She should be okay. She'll need to spend the night, possibly tomorrow night too just to make sure. We'll need to monitor her to make sure that she recovers properly."

"Thank you," Amanda says to him with relief in her voice and he leaves the room. It seems like we stay there for hours waiting for our mommy to wake up and reassure us that what the doctor said was true, that's she's alright.