Shivi FS: Shiva's insecurities

⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️

It's been months since the wedding took place, everything was now back to normal.

Raavi and Shiva have accepted the fact that they are tied to each other for eternity.

Everything is good between them, they bicker like always, hurt each other playfully but when the same thing is done by someone else then the former person is finished.

Things were going fine between them but still something was stopping Shiva to step forward and complete this marriage, was that Raavi's past? Nope.

Because Raavi and her actions have made him clear that she is not into Dev at all but still something was there which was stopping him. But what?

***************************®~

NEXT MORNING..

Raavi: 'Shiva main na maasi ghar jaungi. Kal tak aa jaungi' Raavi told him when he was wearing his footwear to leave for the Store.

Shiva: 'haan chal theek hain chali jaa . Dhyan se jana per . Or dhyan rakhna apna jate wakt bhi air waha bhi'.. he replied back with care in his voice .

Raavi smiled and spoke 'ha mere bhoothnath dhyan rakhungi Or Tu bhi dhyan rakhio' and she hugged him lovingly.

Shiva too hugged her in a friendly way and left for the store.

Raavi thought to herself 'Shiva kya hua hai tujhe? Kyu kar raha hai tu aise? Main jab bhi thoda kareeb aane ki koshish karti hu tu piche kyu hat jata hai?
Kahi is baar phir mera pyar ek tarfa toh nahi hai? Janti hun Abhi pyar nhi hai per pasand karne lagi hun tuja shiva yeh dil tuja chahne laga hai ,yeri fikr karne laga hain... '

Her heart reasoned 'ek tarfa hota toh itni care fikr thodi hoti'...

To which her mind replied 'jab sath rehte hai toh care kar hi lete hai. Uska pyaar se kya lena dena? '

Raavi was fed up with these constant thoughts, she needed to find a way to clear things or know what is in his mind and heart.

************************®~

Shiva was coming back home for lunch and when he heard Raavi's friends talking to with each other.
One of her friend sneha said yrr pata nhi raavi kya majboori thi jo usne uss Junglee, gawar, uneducated bande se shaadi kar li .. esa bhi kya ho gaya jo usne dev ko chod kar shiva ko chuna .. voh kabhi khush nhi teh payenge uske sath kaha voh aur kaha raavi .. voh ek dum sunder apara jaisi padhi likhi , smart aur sapna dekhne wali ladki hai .. use toh ek se ek bhadiya ladke mil jaate aur phir bhi usne usse chuna pata nhi kya soch ke .

Other friends: haan yrr yeh toh hai per kya kar sakte hai hum voh uski life hai uski marzi usse kaisa bitani hai hum kon hote hain uski life main interfere karne wale .

Sneha: I guys but still.. ek baat bolu Pata hai mujhe toh lagta hai ki Raavi abhi bhi Dev ko like karti hai (Shiva gave a sarcastic smile on this statement), or karti bhi kyu na ho usko khud ko pyar kabhi mila nahi.
Uska pati uff main bata nahi sakti uss ladke mein na toh kapde pehnne ki sense hai na baat karne ki. Jahil gawar hai vo anpadh kahi ka'..

Her friend laughed at her explanation and asked 'dikhta kaisa hai apni raavi ka pati ...'

Sneha: 'Theek hi dikhta hai infact handsome hai lekin kya fayda aise handsome hone ka jab kismat mein Shiva jaisa ladka ko kapde pehne ka saleeka hai na baat karne ka lihaaz hain.
Pata nahi Somnath ne konsi kachi pencil se uski kismat likhi thi, kabhi kabhi toh taras aata hai mujhe raavi per ,uski kismat par bhut berang hai ..'

They kept on talking but Shiva left from there hurt, Krish saw this.

This is what stops Shiva from living a complete happy life with Raavi, these insecurities.
The fact that Raavi is beautiful and educated and he is an uneducated rudely spoken guy.
He can't really face rejection from Raavi; he might break badly so he prefers to just be a good friend to her.

It was one odd day when he took a half day and left from the shop.

That night he came home drunk and dhara was shocked was understatement so dhara tried to scold him but gaumbi told that he is drunk and he won't be able to understand what we will tell him. we should talk to him the next day .

Gaumbi : jaa shiva apne room main jaa soja subha baat karenga ..

Shiva : gaumbi aap heera ho heera baki sab jaljeera and left to his room ..
There he found a diary of raavi on the side table of the bed and unknown to him not in his senses he read her diary in one stance which bought him immense pain and left him heartbroken which he couldn't bear at all ..
he knows that this all her past written but still it ached him . Still gave him grave pain knowing the already known truth ..

Here he had accepted her fully and had started liking her presence, her smile , her laugh , her talks everything was a bliss and he even started to like her company..
he was about to share her his feelings towards her but hearing her friends the truth dawn him to the reality of his life making him feel inferior to others for her ..
That night he decided to stay away from her as much as possible. He won't behave friendly to her either too so that she would leave him and live her life she wanted to but not a compromise life .
He knows that if he was left the last person to marry then also would have not choosen him over her choice of price charming she wished for since childhood.

***************************®~

In these few months Raavi and Krish have become really good friends, Krish was like her younger brother with whom she shared fights, bickering and love.
He was very much pampered by her as she didn't have any brother so she considered him as her brother and he too is always sticking to her.
He tell her everything that she needs to know about Shiva, what all things happened at the store, if any girl piled on him or he fought with someone. Everything. Like a good spy.

Common point of discussion was either Shiva or Krish's college life. Whenever Raavi left for Maami's house she used to call Krish and ask about Shiva's whereabouts because she knew only he would give an unfiltered version to her.

It was around evening when she called him 'hi Krish'

Krish replied, picking up her call 'hi bhabhi. Kaise ho? '

Raavi: 'Main achi hu tu bata? '

Krish: 'Main bhi thik hu' he spoke a bit oddly.

Raavi: 'Krish kya hua hai? Teri awaz kuch alag lag rahi hai. Sab thik hai na? College mein koi baat hui kya? ' she asked worriedly.

Krish: 'Are nahi meri bhabhi kuch nahi hua. Vo bas' he thought whether to tell her or not.

Raavi: 'Kya? Bol. ' Raavi asked from the other side.

'Puri baat nahi pata mujhe bhabhi par apki koi friend hai na kya name hai uska jo bhut healthy si hai or uski dost dukaan ke same wali CSB CAFE hai na waha baith the kuch baat kar rahe the jise sunke Shiva upset tha.
Or toh Or usne aaj dukan se bhi adhe din ki chuti li or kahi chala gaya' he blurted out what all he knew.

Raavi:' Healthy ladki matlab tu Sneha ki baat kar raha hai .. Aur Chala gaya ka kya matlab hai. Tune roka nhi usse ? Chal thik hai Krish main dekhti hu. Or sab thik hai na? ' she asked one final time before hanging the phone.

Raavi : 'snehaaa' she gritted her teeth. For the last one week she has not lost a single opportunity to insult her Bhoothnath but this time she won't live in peace as she has heard her bhootnath.

She stormed out of the house informing Anita di that she is leaving for her house.

She knew where he would be. But when reached there he wasn't present there ... She tried searching him for some more time but couldn't find an ounce of his trace.

*************************®~

It was around 7 in the evening she reached the place and as expected he should be found sitting on the tree with head hung down but today was not the day to be him there.
Today she will not leave him and ask him what was stopping him. Does he love her like she did?
Today she will get all her answers and also what he heard from sneha that he took a leave from the store.

For any person it might be normal but for Shiva it was a huge thing to take a single off also.

So she went home and waited for him to come but he didn't came and while sitting on her side she slept.

At 11pm shiva arrived at his room and locked it ..

Shiva: 'Yaha kya kar rahi hai yeh raavi? Isse toh mami ke ghar hona chahiye tha na?' he asked to himself.

He sat beside her very close to her.

Shiva: 'Tu yaha kyu aayi? Raat hone vali hai akal nahi hai kya tujhe? Kuch ho jata phir? ' Shiva scolded her. But she was sleeping like a baby and was not even responding as she was in a deep slumber.

Shiva who was facing her turned his face sideways and spoke 'kitni sunder hai tu aur main bilkul acha nhi hun yrr 🥺...

Then he spoke..

Tu safed maida si mulayam halwa
Main kali mirch se kala kadwa
Tu gulakand imam ka meetha paan
Main sukha sa supari ka samaan..

Saying so he too slept beside her ..

**************************®~

NEXT MORNING

From the next day itself till the sawan's first teej he behaved indifferent with her which pained her to the core but she managed to stay sane and tries to talk to him calmly making him understand that whatever sneha told is was her past and she knows the who the real shiva is and wanted to move on with him but Alas he was so stubborn to even listen her .

*******************************®~

It was the day when teej function was going in full swing everyone was dancing singing after doing teej puja ...

After that some ladies taunted dhara and suman while Rishita couldn't control her anger towards them and lashed over them for taunting her bhabhi and mother but to her dismay they to lashed over her with disappointed ☹️ all three of them ..

After that raavi shiva and other couples were bought in between to have a couple dance but as shiva was in his own problems and couldn't find anything to control he took back his hand so harshly that she falls on her sister Anita ..
while he left the place with raavi behind in pain so she too ran inside the room to ponder over what just happened that their differences were now shown in open to the people who doesn't even matter .

Here mami Anita ran behind her and tried to ask her what has happened to her ..

Mami : dekha raavi tu kya se kya ban gai hai .. us Junglee gawar ne tera sath itna bura kiya tu phir bhi muja bolti hai ki main tuja yaha se na leke jaun uske baare main bura na bolu kyun ?
Esa kya dekh liya tune shiva main jo tu Abbi bhi uski biwi ban kar rehna chahti hai uske sath ..
tu toh itni achi hai ki tuja toh koi bhi mil jayega jo tere sapne sawarega tuja khush rakhega teri har zarurt ko pura karega toh phir shiva hi kyun chun rahi hai tu ? Muja samjha toh sahi baat kya hai ...

Raavi : maasi maa abhi muja kisi se kuch nhi bolna na sunna hai kisi ki baat muja akele rehna hai thodi der .. please samjho meri baat aur jao yaha se ... Aur pareshan mat karo muja yeh sab bol kar ...

Maami: aye raavi beta tu esa murjha gai hai dekh toh kaisa aankon per kala ghere ho gaye hai kitni sookh gai hai tu iss rakshas ke wajh se ...
Ek baar bata kya kya kiya usne ... Muja teri fikar hai meri bachi ... Maa nhi hun lekin maa ki tarah pala hai maine tuja ... Itna layak toh samajh ki tere liya kuch acha kar paun .. haan nhi pasand voh muja per voh jungle na tujhse uper nhi hai ... Meri baat maan aur chal humare sath ...

Raavi : oho maasi maa please haan Abbi nhi ... Koi drama nhi chahiya vese bhi voh ghadeda yahi toh chahta hai mujhse ki main chali jau usko chod ke per main na uss Junglee ko kabhi nhi chodne wali chahe jo ho jaye ... Main bhi bata kar rahungi usko ki shiva ki biwi kisi kehte hai ...

Suman : aye kangdi kahin nhi jayegi raavi ... Yahi rahegi isse ghar main hum sab ke sath ... Yeh bhi iss ghar ki Laxmi hai jaisa voh dhara aur patrani hai iss ghar ki bhahu vese hi yeh bhi utni hi bhagi hai ... Yeh iska hi ghar hai ...
Agar koi jayega toh voh jayega jisne meri bahuon ke sath galt kiya hai ... Chahe phir voh mera khud ke bache hi kyun na ho ... Per ek baat yaad rakhna Prafulla sach janne se pehle kuch nhi hoga ...
Aur yeh bata kya karegi tu sach Jaan kar haan ? Kya kar legi yahi na tu chaar baatein mera bete ko sunayegi char baatein tu meri dhara ko sunayegi aur meri teesri beti ke kaan bharegi phir chalti banegi apne ghar ...
Raavi beta main toh tuja bhut samajhdaar akal ki dhani samajhti thi uss patrani se bhi zada per tu toh uske jaisi dobi dikri nikli ...
bhar itne mehmaan aaye hua hai acha nhi lagta tu yaha waha patrani dono muh fula kar baithi ho .. logon ko toh baatein karna ka phir se mauka mil gaya na ...
Ab tu hi bata main kya kya sambhalungi akeli bhudiya kya samjhaye kisi ko ... Tum teeno bahu ho is ghar ki Laxmi ho iska maan samaan sub tum per hai ... Bacha le ek baar phir se iska abhimaan... Main janti hun tere liya yeh wakt mushkil hai per tu kar legi yeh bhi janti hun ...
Haan main yeh nhi keh rahi ki hum baat nahi karenga iss per karnenga per filhal thoda ruk jaa sab ko jane de phir karte hai iss pe baat ..
Yeh mat sochna ki main tum teeno ke sath nhi hun hun main tum sab ke sath kuch galt nhi hone dungi ab se ... Hona tha jitna galt ho gaya ab main bhi dekhti hun kon kya galt karta hai kaisa karta hai.. abhi chalo sab bhar ..
Suman tried to make all of them understand the situation calmly and luckily they all agreed and went out to prevent the further damage ..

Raavi was hurt very very hurt but she is not the woman who will break the relationship just because he misbehaved with her in public ...
She is not at all ready to do so at any cost . She will not give up so easily.. she will surely give an earful to him punish him for whatever he was doing from the past few days and what he did today too but not going to leave him for eternity.
She just can't do this he has become her strength, her life , her sanity , her wholesome who was there since childhood till her marriage with him and even now in her high and low may what is up with him .. now she can't imagine her life without him in it .. he has definitely became her lifeline ..

Raavi : suman kaki aap sahi ho bilkul voh toh bas main room main isliya aa gai thi kyuki muja waha seen nhi create karna tha ya aona mazak bante nahi dekhna tha isliya chup chap yaha aake baith gai khud ko shant karne ke liya .. chaliya pehle sabko ghar bhejte hai phir baat karte hai iss ghadede se ... Aap na uski ache se class lena .. she said the last line cutely ..

Suman : haan bilkul lungi sirf uski kyun dev ki bhi lungi sabki lungi ..

No doubt she has no heart to leave him now if she was asked just after marriage or before marriage she would have screamed at them to even pair with him but now he had become her savior, her means of living ie jeena ki wajh . Everything was going smoothly they were coming closer day by day but just one stance came as a hurricane in her life with made her Bhoothnath distance himself so much that the difference was not going out between them ..
he had parted his ways from her like she is something which is not good to keep with . But she had decided that she won't be giving up over his so soon she will make him understand his importance in her life with whom she wants to live in ... If he is her Bhoothnath then she is his chipkali she will stick to him like a ziddi lizard now ..

Suman : koi baat nhi beta tu bhi apni jagh bilkul sahi hai tune apni taraf se theek karna ke liya esa kiya .. per ab mehmaan hai bhar toh tume aur mauka nhi dena chahiye bolne ka aur seen create karne ka .. bas isliya tum teeno ko samjhati hun ...

Prafulla: suman bhen main kuch kahu ..

Suman : kya kehna hai bol jaldi vese bhi mana kiya toh tu konsa chup reh jayegi .. jo kehna hai keh ..

Prafulla: suman bhen pati hone ka matalab yeh nhi hota ki aap jaisa chaho vese apni biwi ko treat karo ..
voh koi khene wali gudiya nahi hai ki aap use kaisa bhi mohd todh ker rakhoga aur voh uff tak nhi karegi .. biwi hai toh biwi ki tarah rakho use .. use uska izzat samman aur bolne ladhne aur narazgi dikhane ka bhi haq do ..
Bhen voh beti hai meri jaan se zada pyar hai muja isse .. nahi parwah duniya ki shiva ki ki voh kya sochte hai mera baare main ... Pyar se pala hai phoolon ki tarah jeena sikhaya hai aur gundon ki tarah apni atmraksha karna bhi ..
Beti ki fikar toh hoti hi hai na chahe phir voh shadi kar ke chahi hi kyun na jaye apne sasural.. beti di hai per paraya nhi kiya hai .. aaj bhi wahi phool si bachi hai voh mera liya ... Mera liya bojh nhi hai voh dusron ke liya hongi betiyan bojh ... Aur rahi baat shiva ki toh aapko ya raavi ko jo karna hai na kariya per sach toh yahi hai ki voh muja ek aankh nhi suhata na bachpan main na ab ..
Aur main uski sirf maami nhi hun maami saas hun jisne apna jigar ka tukda diya hai usse ... Toh dikhaungi na usko saas hone ka haq ... Dekhaungi usko maa ka haq ... Itna toh banta hai na ki voh bhi nhi banta ..

Suman sighed loudly . But kept mum as she knew she was right in every ounce whatever she uttered right now .
But breaking the relationship is not the right choice of decision at all .. it may affect them both internally and mentally which won't do any good to them .
It's their relationship it's their marriage so it should be their respective decision whether they want to stay in this marriage or move out of it and move on in their life with so someone else.
There should be no force ment from both the families but a mutual support towards them and able to understand the turmoil they are going on individually.
No doubt she thought to confront shiva her dearest son about the happening of today and what all was going on before today too as whatever happened today isn't accepted and until she is alive no one can do any wrong to any daughter or son in her house.

Suman : Prafulla tu apni jagah bilkul sahi hai .. tera gussa bilkul jayaz hai .. main bol hi nhi rahi tu galt hai iss baar per rishta todhna wali baat galt kahungi bas .
Mujha bhi meri bahuon ki fikar hai main bhi unse itna hi pyar karti hun jitna main apne beton se karti hun . Bahu toh hai hi lekin bahu se zada beti mana hai maine in teeno ko .
Janti hun jata nhi pati bol nhi pati lekin dil aur bhagwan janta hai jitni kadwi hun muh se utna hi pyar karti hun insab se .
Dhara aur raavi beta toh mera bhi Jigar ke tukde hai .. per voh patrani bhi ab mera dil ka hissa ban chuki hai .. janti hun teeno ke sath bhut galt hua hai jo nhi hona chahiye tha voh hua hai ...
Iss cheez ki kalam mera pass hoti toh badal deti kaya main aur kar deti sab theek ek baar main per voh kalm sommnath ji ke pass hai wahi likh raha hai sab kuch .
Arey tuja kya lagta hai dhara ko kisne pala hai khud pal gai voh nhi maine pala hai maa ban ke gussa aur nafrat ke ghunt ke piche se . Jata nhi pati hun usko ki kitna pyar karti hun usse .
Nahi farak padhta muja ki usko bacha hua hai ya nhi per farak isliya padh raha hai ki log meri bachi ko banjh bol ke jate hai jabki voh jo hai na uske jaisa koi nhi hai per kis kis ko bolu kya hai voh aur kyun bolu voh mera kya lagte hai jo unhe safai dun .
Arey kitni khushi hui thi main jab voh iss ghar main bahu ban kar aai per maine uska adhikaar cheene ki koshish ki usse samman nhi diya bhala bura bola bhut galt kiya uske sath kyuki galt ki pati padhi hui thi mera aankon main jabki maine use apne hathon se pala tha phir bhi .
Beti hai voh meri maa hun uski uska bhala bura janti hun bas jatati bhut kam hun isliya raavi aur patrani ko bhi bhut ache se samajhte hun.
Raavi ko toh bachpan se janti hun janti hun uske sath galt ho raha hai aur main sab sahi karne ki puri koshish karungi . Kisi ke sath unyaye nhi hoga . Yeh vada hai mera khud se bhi tujhse bhi .
Arey wakt toh de mujha zara sa gussa main liya gaya Faisala sab bigad na de .. shiva ko is bartav ki zada milagi zarur milagi lekin sahi wakt aane per .. main iss mamle ki teh tak jaungi phir kuch aage karungi ..
Per abhi bhar jo raita phaila hai na usse sametega hum phir sochenge kya karna sahi hoga ..

Prafulla just huffed at it but reluctantly was about to go out when raavi spoke

Raavi :maasi maa apko maine kitni baar samajhta hai ki aap mera aur mera pati ke rishte main mat aao main dekh lungi kya sahi kya galt hai . Main apne rishte ko todhna nhi sambhalna chahti hun ... Jeena chahti hun ek naye zindagi uske sath aage bhadhna chahti hun . Voh mera liya ek naye si subha ban ke aaya hai ek umeed hai meri naye shuruaat ki jisse main ab khona nhi chahti . Janti hun mushkil hai shiva ko samajhna lekin namumkin toh nhi . Main janti hun aap use pasand nhi karte chahte ho chod dun use per main nhi chahti esa . Main rahi hun uske sath aap nhi . Toh jeena do na muja jaisa main chahti hun .. chod do mujha mera haal per chal sakti hun in padhaon per bhi kyuki muja pata hai shiva aaj bhi mera piche khada hain mera sath galt karne ke baad bhi . Muja koi malal nhi hai kisi cheez ka bas thoda dukhi hun thodi naraz hun aur kuch nhi hai . Bas don't try to change my decision to break it please. Jo galti Anita di ne ki voh galti mujha nhi karni na karne ke liya majboor karo .

Hearing this Prafulla and Anita went out while raavi was about to go too when suman stopped her and asked her to tell what exactly have happened that the difference between them increased than decreasing as everything was going smoothly and they were actually coming closer then what happened that the matter went out of hands and came out like this in front of everyone.

Before raavi could say anything they heard some shouts coming from outside so they rushed out as soon as possible..

*******************************®~

Watching Rishita going in the room dhara too follow her but before the duo could go they saw kids playing with mandap and it was so heavy that it may fall over them if not taken care soon . That's the reason why dhara went over those naughty kids and slightly scolded them but they started crying like she had beaten them black and blue.. seeing this the parents of those kids started shouting over her that she is the worst person who is do insensitive rude women who doesn't know how to deal with kids and even saying more bad words to her .
Watching dhara standing like a statue and not even trying to justify her act she couldn't stop yet she went to her and defended her which increased the matter and left from there .

***************************®~

Meanwhile outside the pandya niwas shiva was sitting on a threshold with a concerned dev sitting beside him trying to give some sense in him may be .

Shiva knew whatever he did was wrong and unjustified. But when he saw her hand in his he remembered all the happenings the words spoken by her friend sneha , words written in her DIARY and most importantly the words which got exchanged between them in the room just before coming out for the function about the adjustment, compromise, majboori etc which hurted him to the core and it took a tool on his senses which caused him to do this before he could stop himself from doing it was too late to even rewind it and he blasted over her this way .
He was dejected 😔 that the hands which he has always used to protect her hide her from.thr whole world is now was the main source of hurting her in public which he never thought to do so though he have behaved more rashly with her in public many times before marriage but it have never effected him this way the way it did today .

He thought he had done something out of his own character today which is not even him but his anger pain insecurity was making him loose his senses to even think in a right direction as it was blocking his sane mind .

He was angry on his stupid harsh fate that why only him always to suffer this way why others don't able to understand his turmoil and clean his senses in a good way . He thought he was the reason to take all her happiness away though he wanted to give her all the happiness in the world but he was the worst person to have thought he will able to do so .. he felt dejection filling him till the brim of his life making him feel suffocated.

Dev: shiva ab toh chod de yeh tera betuka natak ... Aur kab tak rahega iss guilt main .. janta hun tu apni insecurity ko leke pareshan ho raha hai aur theek se jeena nhi de rahi . Shiva dekh voh mujhse jabki move on ho chuki hai . Main uska past tha hun aur shayad rahunga bhi aur yeh hum badal toh nahi kaste na . Janta hun yeh jo hua nahi hona chahiye tha .

Per ek baat yeh bhi hai ki jo tu kar raha hai na toh usse tuja kuch hasil ho raha hai na usse balki dono ko takleef pahunch rahe hai . Tu bhi dard main hai aur voh bhi . Jisse tu khushi dena chahta hai yeh sab kar ke ussse khushi nhi dard mil raha hai.
Esa karne se na usse khushi milagi na tujha sukoon milagi toh bas baichaini aur takleef.

Janta hun uska bhala karna chahta hai per iss bhale ka kya karega jab uska guroor swabhiman bhi nasht ho raha hai. Janta hun jaanboojh kar nhi kar raha tu karma kuch chahta hai ho kuch jata hai jo tere ab bas main nhi hai .

Voh khush nhi hai tere iss bartav se toot rahi hai dheera dheera. Sabke samne tune uska hath esa jhatak diya jaisa voh koi aur ho . Tuja pata hai uske swabhiman ko kitni thes pahunchi hogi kitna humilate feel kiya hoga .

Koi apni hi biwi ke sath esa behave kaisa kar sakta hai jaisa tune kiya maine yeh expect nhi kiya tha tujhse . Tune hi kaha tha na mujhse tu uske sath kabhi galt hone nhi dega na karega. Phir bhi tune yeh sab kiya kyun muja nhi janna kyuki main tuja force nhi karna chahta agar mujhse share karna chahta hai apne dil ki baat toh kar lena bejheejhak bhai hun tera koi third person nahi .

Well ab jo hona tha ho gaya badal toh sakte nhi wakt main peechhe jaakar per tu agar jakar use maafi mang lega toh sab vese hi theek ho jayega kam se kam uske dil ko pahunche thes kam ho jayegi use pata toh legega ki jo tumne kiya uska tujha pachtava hai and you are feeling guilty about it .

Dev said calmly everything what he had in his mind while shiva gave a deathly glare which he knew that angry shiva is equal to death and can send him till the death bed and he didn't want to die so soon making Rishita his widow at this age .

Shiva sighed realising that telling him everything is of no use and tried to control his anger which is at mess right now and in a serious septical tone he told dev to leave him alone with himself for sometime and right now he doesn't want to see or talk to anyone and he should leave before he loose his cool and do something which he do not want to do at any cost in his anger .

One way he wanted raavi to stay close to him close to his fragile heart ❤️ and give him tje reason to live on but on the other side he wants her to leave him forever and ever and never come near him and live her life tje way she wanted without any hurdles compromise majboori or adjustment without anyone's force authority over her . He wants her to live het life with over heart with a beautiful smile on her face like before .

He was right now in the pool of emotions which were scaring him that if he stayed near her he will again something wrong with her and he didn't want this to happen at any situation.

It was messing both his heart and mind at an equal pace . He may be very good tolerant man over his emotions and very good at masking them behind his anger but today he couldn't hide or mask his anger too because it was now taking over his mind and senses making him numb yet difficult to for him to breath . So to find some good peace in the world and calming his demons so that he doesn't hurt anyone anymore with his words or action knowingly or unknowingly.

***********************®~

Shiva was in immense pain which was drowning him each passing minute and thinking about his life he reached his favourite place and sat in his tree where he always sit and confine his own self.

While Rishita was also feeling suffocated and wants to clear her head wanted to scream tell her thoughts out loud who will quitely listen to her by not judging her so she hurriedly got up and left the house to go the same place where shiva was going and she saw him ahead of her but still she didn't go near him ask him her set of questions before they reach that place as if she knew that asking him here will not do any good instead he will run away from there too ..

she didn't know why she wanted shiva to confront her his pain and she wanted herself too to let her pain out infront of him only .
She doesn't know why she always felt connected to him understand his turmoil pain everything she felt relatable and in a corner of her heart she wanted him to be her friend with whom she can share everything she wants .

When Rishita was moving out she was seen by everyone and wanted to stop her abd ask her what had happened to her but dev decided other and told everyone that he is going behind her and know her what's eating her up that she needed to clear it up going somewhere else. Listening him suman decided that they all will accompany him as shiva is also missing since that incident happened.

Dev: maa main Rishita ke piche jata hun kahi khud ko chot na laga le ..

Suman : dev ruk sirf tu nahi hum sab jayenga tere sath pehle patrani ko sambhalte hai phir shiva ko hum sab mil kar dhundega .

Raavi : kaki shiva ka muja pata hai voh kaha hoga toh use dhundna main mushkil nhi hogi .

Suman : theek hai beta .

Dev : maa muja Rishita ka pata hai voh kaha jati hai esa time per .

Dhara : theek che jaldi chalte hai na phir der mat karo .

As they were about leave the house to find their bahu and beta who left the house to clear their head scaring them to the wits .

Prafulla: oh suman bhen main aur Anita bhi aapke sath chalenga please hum dono ko bhi le chalo na .

Suman : aye kangdi tu kya karegi humare sath ja ker hain . Shiva aur Rishita mera bache hai mera ghar ka mamla hai tu kya karegi phir se vedio banayegi taki tu muja suna sake haan bol kya karegi jaker ...?

Prafulla: nahi nahi suman bhen main esa kuch nhi karungi kuch chap aap jha kahoga waha khadi ho jaungi bilkul awaz nahi karungi hain . Dekho shiva ne jo kiya meri beti ke sath toh mera bhi toh chalna banta hai na bhale main kuch nhi bolun jab tak aap nhi bologa bolne ko hain . Please itna toh aap kar hi sakte ho ..

Suman thought for a while and then said chal theek hai kangdi tu bhi chal kya hi yaad rakhegi tu ..

Then they all went out locking the house and after searching them both they saw Rishita entering the lake's backside where there are only trees area like a mini jungle .

They were walking behind her when gaumbi and raavi said in union that yeh toh shiva ki favourite jagah hai yeh bhi yahi aati hai kya ? Hearing them dev too said haan gaumbi raavi Rishita bhi yahi jagah aana pasand karti hai . Hearing him they just hummed at it .

****************************®~

Shiva was sitting on the tree where he always sit and was like always playing it's leaves whenever he was upset or loaded with anger in his veins .

He was recalling all the happenings happened with him since childhood to till he misbehaved with his chipkali infront of so many people making her self-esteem break into pieces in his insecurity and anger .

He had analysed that his insecurities are just not hurting and bleeding his already wounded heart but it is also hurting and giving wounds to the one he cares for and wants to give and see in immense pleasure and happiness in her way and life rather saddening her .

So , he finally made his mind clearly to confront her that she should leave him forever so that she could live a good healthy life .
He doesn't want her to live a compromise, adjustment filled life where she will always get thorns in her way at every step of her life ..
She wanted a bed of roses but he isn't a man who can give her bed full of Rose's without any thorn present in them. He wants her to fulfill her evey dream which she saw with those beautiful eyes and catch new heights in her life if she will live with him she won't be able to fly rather she won't be able to walk around to see goodness around her .
He is just a phase of her life she doesn't have to live a life with an unworthy uneducated gawar Junglee bhalu .

He was in his thoughts when someone's voice brought him out of them and when he saw the source of voice he was shocked was an understatement as he wasn't expecting Rishita to be coming behind him all way from the house till here by just walking and looking at her he could Guess she had cried very hard as her eyes were puffy and swollen while her breaths were Harsh due to breathlessness.

TO BE CONTINUED...

************************®~

Hey guys

New update is here

Hope you like it ☺️

Love

Dear diary

Zoey