AN:
This is for 3 of my family members: my grandmother (dad's side), both of my cousins (mom's side). My grandma had 3 miscarriages; one was before she had my uncle, the second was before my dad, & lastly trying to have another one but sadly did not happen. (My grandpa was having a holding their breathe underwater contest & nearly drowned. That frightened my grandma to death that it caused her to lose the baby. She quoted, "You would have had an aunt." But I never did.)

My distant cousin is trying so hard to have a baby that they tried it in a dish (fertilizing he egg in a dish). Sadly it did not make it, but that doesn't mean she's not stop to conceive a kid.

My mom's cousin couldn't conceive a kid & it was hard on her a lot. A year later when I was 19 she decided to adopt a adorable baby girl name Jozi from a girl who was my age.

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Thomas Hewitt

All rights reserved.

Copyright © RaddyMaddy

Dedicate

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Maddy's POV.

3 months had passed since I announced that I was pregnant with Thomas' child. To be honest I was still getting used to the idea of becoming a mother. Luda Mae, on the other hand, had been very helpful and giving me motherly advice while handing me books of becoming a mother guide. Uncle Monty could not help, but touch my still flat stomach, trying to feel the baby move. Thomas could not keep his eyes off of me ever since I told him I was pregnant as if I was made out of the most beautiful material.

Around 12 in the afternoon I was in the middle of doing laundry. Folding the white bed sheets, the wind carried a cold winter breeze, but down in Texas it wasn't like snow, but still warm enough to dry the sheets outside. I was wearing white long sleeve dress with baby blue strips, a light cream colored cardigan, wearing a blue headband that pushed my curly hair back.

As I finished the last load, I heard the sound of a door from a car closed. Turning my attention to the noise I found that it was just Tinker and Tex helping roll in Aunt Annie. A smile spread across my face as I carried the basket toward the Sawyers. "Hi, guys. What a pleasant surprise!"

"Well, it's good to see you too, Maddy," Tinker said as I felt Aunt Annie grab my hands, rubbing it. "Charlie called to say that the water pipes were broken."

"Oh yes, come in. Let me fix you guys something to drink first before you boys start." I was about to grab the basket when Tex stanched it out of my hand. Arching my eyebrows, giving him a questionable expression.

"A pregnant woman such as yourself shouldn't carry heavy things," Tex said, rolling my eyes as I gave him a small chuckle.

"I'm just pregnant, I'm not a China Doll." But Tex was too stubborn to give back the basket. With a sigh, I lead them to the house where I began fixing both of them a glass of homemade ice tea. After filling 3 jelly jar cups, I set them on the table as everyone grabbed theirs.

"Thanks, Maddy. You know, you shouldn't be doing a task like these. You should be on the bed relaxing not being on your feet all the time. Not good for the baby." Aunt Annie said.

"I'm only 4 months. And what else am I suppose to do? I have jobs to do around the house-"

"Growing a baby sounds like a job to me & that's the only thing you should working on." Holding up both hands, in defeat Maddy smiled back everyone.

"Alright. For now on I shall do nothing until this baby." Pointing her still flat stomach. "Is born." Nodding in agreement as she walked over to the living where she laid herself down on the couch, resting her heavy head on the soft, goose feathered pillow. Hearing the boys going downstairs, Aunt Annie & Luda Mae working in the kitchen to prepare dinner filled Maddy's ears with soothing noise as her eyes grew heavy & shut completely.

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Narrator's POV.

Suddenly, a stinging pain was running through her stomach, felt like she pulled a muscle, but quickly went away. Peering over at the family clock to see that it was close to dinner time. Slowly rising from her bed she noticed that Aunt Annie and Luda Mae were both gone. Walking to the kitchen to set up the table.

As she was continuing her task, the door to the basement slid open as Tex walked up the steps. He saw Maddy in the dining room. "I thought you were done doing tasks?" Maddy jumped a bit, spun on her heal to see him leaning against the door frame.

Going back to the table, she laid down the forks and knives. "What can I say, its a force a habit of fine since I first came here." One last thing she was missing, cups. Walking back to the kitchen, reaching for the cups when out of nowhere. A stinging pain ran through Maddy's body, clutching her jaw tight as her teeth grinned slowly. Tex looked over to Maddy, his brow arched with a concern expression written on his face. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Maddy said, smiling back to him. "I'm okay."

"Are you sure?" Then Tex spotted something red. "Oh gosh, did you hurt yourself?"

"No, I didn't hurt myself okay. I'm okay-"

"But there's red stuff running down your thighs," Tex stated. Maddy slowly moved her eyes to where Tex was yelling about & saw it. Blood. Lots of blood was running down her legs, her face turned white, she started to shake. She looked over to Tex who was still confused, but as Maddy opened her mouth, it came out as a whispered.

"I'm having a...miscarriage..." Tex's eyes widen as he leaped into a full sprint.

"THOMAS, TINKER, UNCLE MONTY, CHARLIE!!!" Maddy leaned her back against the counter, her legs shaky as she slid down to the tile floor.

*THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP* Heavy footsteps ran up the stairs, and all the way to the kitchen to find Maddy sitting in a pool of blood. Maddy stared at Thomas as tears were streaming uncontrollably down her face. "I'm scared..." Thomas didn't know what to do, but all he could do was hug his wife. She buried her head into his shoulder as everyone ran into the kitchen to find what was happening. Tex told everyone what had happened as a gasp escaped Uncle Monty's lips, everyone was completely silent.

Suddenly, Thomas picked Maddy up, bridal style, and brought her up the stairs to their room. He leads to the bathroom, turning on the water, removing one layer of clothes till she was completely nude, and placed her in the tub. With careful, steady hand he began washing the blood off of her. Maddy's face was straight, no emotions as she was in shock. She had lost her child. Her first miscarriage.

All Thomas could do was to wash the blood off and be with her. He looked up at her, saw all of the colors on her cheeks were drained from the loss of blood. She looked like a statue, no emotion, no movement. She heard stories of women going through a miscarriage, but she did not expect it would hurt this much. She had lost something that was so precious to her...to both of them.

After Maddy was clean, Thomas wrapped her in a towel & brought her over to the bed. They both laid down on the bed, his big arms wrapped securely around Maddy, trying to comfort her, but it only helped a little for the pain was too great for her to handle. To think that she has to carry a baby in her heart, not in her arms, and to think that the first thing the baby's eyes will open to is of Heaven.

There was so much grief that she passed out in Thomas' arm, but he did not leave her side. Not for one second. Trailing his fingers across her skin, but as his hands trailed down toward her stomach he felt Maddy flinch as he retrieves his hand back. He remembered this morning were the first thing he did was petting her stomach, feeling the excitement of having a baby. Now it was gone, his child was gone.

Tears were prickling his eyes. It felt like a part of him died along too. He heard sniffling, turning his eyes back to Maddy, seeing her shoulders shaking along with more sniffling. "I lost it," Maddy said in a half whimpering tone. "I lost the baby." She began crying, shaking violently. All Thomas could do was snuggle with Maddy, bring her closer as his way of telling her 'I'm here, I'm not going anywhere.'

Everything became a blur as they both fell asleep in each other's arms.

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A month had gone by, Thomas would wake-up early every morning. He tried waking Maddy up, but she would not move from the bed. He gave up sadly, kissing her forehead & left her on the bed as he got ready.

Before he went out he looked back to see Maddy still in the bed. His heart started to break as he couldn't bear to see his beloved wife depressed after the sad news of their child they had lost. Once Thomas shut the door. Every morning is like this. From the moment Maddy wakes up every morning, she had to fight the same demons that left her so tired the night before. She hides her emotion from everyone since her miscarriage, but mostly she pushed Thomas away because she thought he wouldn't want her anymore because she lost their child. Maddy curled deeper within the sheets, hiding from the world. Carefully she guided her hands down till she reached her stomach, but quickly reached back as the agonizing pain in her heart began to thump hard against her ribcage.

Slowly, she lazily dragged her body away from her bed. Staring at the cold, wooden floor with no expression on her face. Everything felt numb to her. The whole world felt numb. Everything moved in slow motion for Maddy as she rose from the edge of the bed, shuffled her bare feet into the bathroom.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her reflection. Her hair was full of snarl clumps, tangled pieces of hair that resembled a rat's nest from the lack of brushing. Dark circles under her baggy eyes from the nightmares and lack of sleep ever since the incident. All the color on her face was drained. There was no life left in her just like the life she once carried was gone too. Painful memories started again as she turned away, and headed toward the bathtub.

Filled the bathtub with steaming water, add globs of bubble bath scented soup. She turned off the light and light a few candles to calm her nerves. After the bath was filled Maddy pulled off layers of her PJs and slowly stepped into the tub. The warm water welcomed her like Thomas' hugs; everything was quiet and calm, washing her body from the smell of bedrest with a sponge. As if she was scrubbing away the depression that still lingers. Suddenly, Maddy pulled the pug of the water as the soapy water slowly drained leaving her cold and naked. Maddy stood still as the warmth of the water began to leave her body, her breathing became heavy, her heart drummed in her ear, her body shivered in the body as she curled herself, hugging her knees. She stayed in the tub even though the water was completely gone, but she stayed her, staring at the voided of nothing. A huge lump was caught in her throat, swallowing in it as it painfully slides down the tube.

She dressed herself in a golden yellow sweater with her ripped blue Denim jeans.

Before she left the room she looked at herself and saw that no matter how she acted or looked on the outside, she was still broken on the inside. Tears started to well up in her eye as her legs buckled, falling toward the ground as her hands covered her face and cried. The most painful goodbyes are the ones never said or never explained. Her cries echoed in the room, it was the only place where no one could hear her.

As she tried standing up her body started to lose balances as if gravity was pulling her entire body down. Everything started to spin as Maddy grabbed onto the railing, slowly, one by one down the stairs and into the kitchen. No one was there, no one was home. The entire house was complete silence. It was starting to annoy Maddy, but that was least of her problems as she continued to lose control of her body. Putting her weight on the counter, trying to reach for the back door that leads outside, she was so close, and yet she felt so far away as more memories emerged again.

Staring down at her hands she saw blood all over them, she peered down to see more blood running down her thighs, and on the floor. Her eyes widen in fear, her breathing quicken, but felt like she couldn't breathe at all. Her hands trembled violently; she placed both hands on each ear, screamed at the top of her lungs trying to push out the memories.

Suddenly, Maddy opened her eyes to see two large pairs of shoes standing in front of her. Looking up to find Thomas peering down, seeing all the colors drained from her face. Her eyes red & puffy, tears stained her cheeks. Her long curly hair was in a ball of mess. Just when he could not take it anymore, he dropped to the floor, hitting his knees as he curled his arms around Maddy's frail body, giving as much comfort he could possibly give.

"I'm sorry." A small whimper broke the silence. Thomas looked over at Maddy's face, rubbing his large thumb on her cheeks. "I'm...so...sorry." Her head drooped down. "It's my fault I lost the baby. It's my fault I wasn't careful. Because of me...I lost your child." Her words were mixed together into a half sobbing slur. There was no response for a mere second when Thomas began kissing her forehead, all the way down to her lips. Pressed both of their heads together, Maddy saw her husband's brown eyes through her wet, blurry eyes.

"N-none of it...was y-your f-fault." Maddy's heart stopped. "P-please don't...shut...me out. Let me help y-you..." As if everything around her was gone, she flung herself closer into Thomas' arms. Embracing him. It had been so long since he last had embraced his wife since her miscarriage. Than Maddy began kissing Thomas hard on the mouth, their tongues moved around on its own as things began to get heated up. Maddy saw the lust in her husband's eyes and her husband knew she wanted this too.

Thomas swept her off her feet in one swift move, carrying her all the way up the stairs. Maddy began nibbling on his neck that sent shivers down his spine as Maddy felt his growing hard down there, pressed it against her aching core. When they finally made it to their bedroom, Thomas kicked the door behind them, locking it so no one would disturb them. Laying her gently on the bed, Maddy placed both of her hands on either side of his face and whispered into his ear. "Help me forget." Nodded his head, he ripped off Maddy's clothes, throwing them on the other side of the room as his hunger grew savagely.

Throughout the night was filled with moaning, screaming, grinding, and thrusting. Thomas grunted loud as his seeds spilled into Maddy's body. Her knuckles turned white as her body released an agonizing sensation. Thomas rolled off, lying beside his wife, taking in the aftermath. They were both covered in sweat and love bite marks. As Thomas turned over to see Maddy was finally smiling. It was good to see her smile again, it was good for her to be happy again.

She looked over, crawling over to him, resting her head on his chest. "I think you went crazy from the lack of sex we had. I have never seen you thrust hard." She teased. Thomas' face blushed red as he was too embarrassed to admit to it. A mischief smile spread across her face as her hand snaked their way to his manhood. A sharp gasp escaped Thomas' lips; he peered over to see Maddy rubbing his cock as she had a seductive smug plastered on her face that drove him nuts. "Wanna go again?" She asked. Thomas didn't need to answer as he threw himself on top of her, lost in the love they had.