Svartalfheim was a world made of dry stones and humid air. Whenever you took a step, it felt like bathing in a hot spring while your skin became chapped.

The sun shone in a cloudless blue sky.

You had to retreat into the shadows to escape the feeling of blood in your nose.

Thor, on the other hand, didn't seem to mind this weather. Without a word of complaint he stood in the middle of the glare.

For a moment he seemed reluctant to move.

Not a word left his lips.

You watched the movement of his fingers as he stroked the metal of Mjölnir while little flashes danced in his palm. It felt strange. As if all the progress between you had suddenly vanished. You were strangers again.

But only for a moment.

With a tired grunt, he settled down on a stone. His eyes locked with yours. But still he said nothing.

Nervously you clasped the strap on your belt.

"What do you want to hear from me?", you finally asked to escape this silence.

He did not react.

Then, finally, he shook his head slowly. Strands of his rusty red hair moved, rubbed over his shoulders.

You knew that if you had touched his hair at that moment, it would have tickled. But you clenched your hands into fists.

This was not fair.

It was cruel to be as tender with him as you were then, to love him as his wife did not. All the while knowing there would be no happy ending.

And it seemed that Thor now understood it too.

Swallowing hard, he finally turned his gaze away from you. A shaky breath escaped his lungs.

"Just say it.", his voice was hard but there was a hint of disappointment hidden there.

Or was it regret after all?

This was neither the place nor the time and yet you couldn't help but ask.

"If you could, would you undo our time?", it slipped from your tongue.

A twitch coursed through his body. Fingernails dug into the metal of his hammer while lightning made his eyes glow.

"Is that what you really need to tell me?", he asked back without answering.

Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes and shook your head. A bitter taste spread in your mouth.

"What do you want me to say?", you asked again.

Gritting his teeth, he suppressed the urge to darken the sky with a thunderstorm.

"I want to know if you will be staying.", he finally said with a glance over his shoulder.

Your heart skipped a beat.

Goosebumps grew all over your body. Then it felt like a layer of ice wrapped around you.

"No.", you said without a minute's thought.

It was the truth and nothing but the truth. A painful, cruel fact that would destroy you both.

But it was all you could give him.

Certainty.

Honesty.

As if suffering from a bleeding wound, Thor pulled a face. As he did so, he squeezed his eyes so tightly that tears formed in the corners.

"Forgive me...", you whispered, your vision watery with tears and your voice weak. "But I can't. I can't stay in this world. It's... there's no happiness for me here. There never will be..."

"And for me?!", his face red with rage and eyebrows drawn together, Thor leapt to his feet.

Lightning licked across his pale skin, which looked almost sickly in the sunlight.

You did not flinch.

He wouldn't hurt you. Ever.

For a moment you both start at each other in silence.

He eaten up with guilt and grief. You destroyed by the past.

All at once you had to chuckle. You didn't know why, but you had to laugh. Straight into his face.

His expression softened in surprise.

But only for a moment. Then the anger returned.

"Don't mock me!", he hissed.

You shook your head.

"I envy you.", you breathed, suddenly so empty, so unconcerned.

Nothing mattered any more. Everything would be gone.

What your heart really desired would never be in reach again and it wasn't even your fault. Some things were just beyond the control of a god. And this was one of those things.

No matter what you did, it wouldn't be enough.

No matter what would happen, it would never be the way it had to be.

This was a game you simply could not win. Thor just hadn't accepted that yet.

"Why should you envy me?", he asked and tried to put a hand on your cheek.

You backed away from his touch. With trembling lips you shook your head gently.

"You have everything in this world.", you said. "Everything that matters. Everything one can desire."

"I lost two sons."

"You have a daughter."

"She's rebelling against me. She blames me for my weaknesses. My failures."

"You have a wife."

"A wife who doesn't love me."

"A woman who supports you.", you smiled, trying to make him understand that this would never end well. "You have something, pumpkin. Something."

Hesitantly, his eyes wandered through the air, searching for an answer, an excuse. Anything that would help ease the pain in his chest.

But there was nothing.

"I would give you anything.", he finally said.

You had to laugh again. This time a few tears rolled down your cheeks.

"I know.", you laughed while your eyes began to burn with memories. "I know... But who am I to take it all? There are more people than just me you have to worry about."

Desperation appeared in his eyes.

"What do I have to do to make you stay after this?", again he tried to pull you into his arms.

You refused once again.

"Nothing.", you shook your head. "Nothing will stop me. I will safe your life by leading the boy on the right path. And then I'll go."

"Go where?"

"I don't know. Away. Far, far away. Maybe to where they pile up stones up to the sky. Or the land where Atreus' father came from."

You looked up at him with reddened eyes. A gentle smile was on your lips.

Thor was like frozen in stone.

His gaze was so empty, so desperate. As if the world would break into a thousand pieces at that moment.

"I love you.", he whispered suddenly.

Tears welled up in your eyes.

"I know.", you whispered back. "I loved you too."