They told me I'm crazy. Insane. Long gone. I told them they were wrong. That I was normal. I was okay, there was nothing wrong with me. But they locked me up anyway. Threw me in this padded cell. They said that it was for the best. For a time I believed them. I took the medicine, did whatever they told me to do. I believed that there was something wrong with me. And even if there was a part of me that didn't believe that, I still wanted out of this place. According to them, this was the only way. Nothing they did changed me, made me better. It just stayed the same; I stayed the same. So I stopped doing whatever treatment they told me to do.

I slumped down to a sitting position, my legs aching from pacing around this room that I now understand as my home. I sigh, my head hitting the soft padded wall behind me. Everywhere I look it's just darkness. Everywhere I hear only silence. No, wait, that's wrong. There is no such thing as silence, not for me, not anymore. There is always a sound if you concentrate hard enough. But me? I don't need to concentrate because it's always going to be there. This noise, I only hear it when it's "silent". It's a ringing but at the same time it's not. It's like static but it's not. The noise is unexplainable. And it always, without fail, drives me insane. It makes me want to pull my hair out. But in the end all I can do is just sit there sobbing in its noise. Like it's taunting me; like it knows what it has done to me.

The door opened slightly. Letting light in. I look at it, yearning to just be out there with the light. Then again I didn't move. What was the point? I would only end up back here again; no matter the struggle I put up. A tray of food slides into the barren room. The door closes once again, letting all light vanish just as soon as it came. And once again I was engulfed in the darkness.

The food stayed there. I don't even bother anymore. Why should I? Why should I eat and keep myself alive when I'm just going to stay here for the rest of my life? There's no point, not anymore. There used to be. They said if I got better then I would be able to get out. They lied and once nothing was getting better... I gave up on any hope of making it out of this hell hole alive. I hear my stomach growl and I let out a frustrated groan.

I close my eyes making another attempt to block out the noise. The noise doesn't cease; of course it doesn't. It's been there since I first got here. I don't know when I did. But I remember the day vividly, as if on a broken record in my mind.

I told them about everything I thought. Everything in my mind and head alike. They talked to each other but they were too far from me for me to hear them. After they finished their conversation they came back to me and told me to get ready. So I did and we went to the car. I asked where we were going but they didn't answer instead ignored me and my questions.

I let out a sigh in annoyance and started to count under my breath to pass the time.

"One...two...three...."

They asked me what I was doing, I said counting. They stayed silent after that so I continued to count.

"...seven...eight...nine...."

We arrived and they told me to follow them into the building and I did so. The building on the inside was mostly white. Everyone there seemed normal to the point I didn't expect anything was going on. My family was there with me so I felt safe. We were there for a while so I continued to count again.

"...nine hundred twenty-six...nine hundred twenty-seven...nine hundred twenty-eight...."

When they called for me I stopped counting, it's been about 30 minutes. I stopped at number 1,147. My family didn't follow me so I asked why. They only said sorry and some goodbyes. I was confused. I realized I wasn't leaving, only they were. So I started to run away from the people leading me somewhere. I tried to leave the place the building but they caught me. They started to drag me as I screamed and kicked. My eyes to the brink of flooding with tears, darting in fear of what comes next. My body shook as I started to thrash myself around. Harming others and almost killing one. They held me down and started to drag me again. We passed by the rooms that looked like the dorms in my old college, just with a few more locks. I thought I was headed there. That was where I was heading until I threw a tantrum. Now I'm here in this padded cell like hell.

They threw me in there; for the first few months my family visited me. I kept asking them questions as to why I was there. They didn't answer me only asked me questions like how I liked it here. And then I got mad, I attacked them. I don't know why. After that they never visited me. Even now I laugh at how I used to call them my family. It makes me sick how I could call people that didn't want me nor need me my family.

Days went by, the exact amount is unknown to me. I get let out sometimes to eat with the other people here. But most times I mess something up to the point where I get thrown back in here. I haven't been let out in what feels like months.

The darkness starts to get me. So I start off where I left off. I haven't counted since that day. I remembered it so vividly it's kind of funny.

"One thousand one hundred forty-seven...one thousand one hundred forty-eight...one thousand one hundred forty-nine...one thousand one hundred fifty...." I continue to count. As I do I start to laugh while saying the numbers. Soon the laughs got louder to the point where there were no numbers. The laughs mixed with the tears that began to stream down my face. My eyes wide with realization and fear and...something else; as streams of water flow out of them. My mouth into a wide smile as laughs and giggles escaped. I look and sound like a maniac.

I'm never getting out of here; it doesn't matter that I know I'm right. And so the tears came to an abrupt stop along with the laughs that escaped my mouth.

I took a deep breath in and let it out, and I smile. My mouth opened without me knowing and I started to count. Not to myself anymore. Not to pass time by. Not to get rid of the noise that comes with silence. But to the darkness itself. The darkness that was now my friend. The darkness that made me realize everything. But the counting kept me sane. So I continued.

"One thousand one hundred eight-three...one thousand one hundred eighty-four..."

A knock came from the door.

"...one thousand one hundred eighty-five..."

And another.

"...one thousand one hundred eighty-six..."

And another.

"...one thousand one hundred eighty-seven..."

It continued. So my voice got louder.

"...one thousand one hundred eighty-eight..."

They opened.

"...one thousand one hundred eighty-nine..."

My arms were grabbed and I was suddenly getting dragged.

"...one thousand one hundred ninety..."

I continued to count.

"...one thousand one hundred ninety-one..."

I started to put up a struggle.

"...one thousand one hundred ninety-two..."

I started to count louder and screamed the numbers.

"...one thousand one hundred ninety-three..."

I kick and try to escape from their grasps.

"...one thousand one hundred ninety-four..."

I started to cry and beg between each number.

"...one thousand one hundred ninety-five..."

The counting got louder and louder and louder.

"...one thousand one hundred ninety-six..."

I close my eyes shut knitting my eyebrows together.

"...one thousand one hundred ninety-seven..."

I open them.

"...one thousand one hundred ninety-eight..."

I look around me. Darkness. Back into the cell.

"...one thousand one hundred ninety-nine..."

Nothing happened. It was all in my head.

"...one thousand two hundred...."

One thousand, two hundred days.

Three years. Three months. And fourteen days.