Chapter 9

Twelve Days before Christmas...

Ian dragged himself into the office. He was so hungover he wanted to die but his head didn't hurt as much as his heart.

"Mr. Hastings?" His secretary looked confused. "I... Your brother said you were on vacation until the New Year."

"I just needed something from my desk," he responded as he closed the door behind him.

He pulled out the file with the pictures and report out of the drawer he shoved them in, then looked at them with a magnifying glass. Suddenly, his doubts about the woman in the pictures being Lily seemed more certain. The scar on Lily's temple was missing, and the woman had piercings in her upper ear and nose where Lily had none. The shape of the lips and chin were thinner, and the eyes were rounder. In the image, he couldn't make out the color. The woman was so similar she fooled him. The stripper named Jezebel looked like Lily, but she wasn't. With a red marker, he circled all the differences.

He began reading the notes and underlining parts in red. There were odd little bits of information that were slightly wrong, like the birthday being off by a few days and year of birth off by one. The mother's first name being different but starting with the same letter, Betty was listed, but Lily had told him her mother's name was Belinda. Some parts were outlandishly wrong. Lily could never have worked as an exotic dancer on a cruise ship, she got violently seasick even on a calm day. He had been so upset by the pictures, he had barely glanced at the notes and made the dumbest choice of his life.

"Little brother?" Andrew closed the door silently.

"This isn't Lily." Ian held up the marked-up image, then he shoved the file across the desk, "And this wasn't her life."

"If she was a grifter, how could you know that anything she told you was true?" Andrew tried to argue but the nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach got heavier.

"Did you know Lily gets violently seasick? That's why we only went to the boat the one time." He pointed at a part with his red pen. "Jezebel worked on an adult-only cruise ship as a dancer, but my Lily didn't, she couldn't have."

Andrew opened the door. "Janet, call Conkin Security and Investigations and tell them we need to see Mr. Conklin as soon as possible."

<<@>>

Ten Days before Christmas...

Hillary stared at the printouts then looked at her son skeptically.

"I know your brother was traumatized by another one of those..."

"Mom, I swear to god, if you say gold-digging slut one more time, I will leave and you will never see me again or Ian," he snarled then stated emphatically, "That is not Lily. Ian and I have spent the last two days checking out the P.I. report and other than a short overlap at this address which belonged to the late Mrs. Ann Watterson. Lillian Jessica Johansen and Lilyana Jessalyn Johansen are two different women born a year and a few days apart." Andrew dug his fingers into his short hair, "The guy lied about everyone he talked to except one strip club owner. When I talked to him with his boss this morning, he tried to deny it. I brought in one of the dancers he claimed to talk to, and she said she never met him." Andrew bowed his head. "None of his sources met him or even exists... He made it all up."

"But we based Ian's divorce on that report!" Hillary gasped out in shock. "The investigation alone cost twenty thousand dollars."

"The guy said that was not his problem when I revealed that, then Ian punched the liar in the face and cursed at him for ruining his marriage," Andrew revealed. "Mr. Conklin is going to try to sort it all out and he apologized for the misunderstanding after Ian took off. I have no idea where he went."

"But they look the same," Hillary insisted as she looked between the pictures. "Omigawd, this can't be happening. Who are these women?"

"Mr. Conklin says they are related as half-sisters. They have the same father and so does the third name at the Watterson address at the same time. He is going to get us the current address and employment information on the two half-sisters and any known relatives as soon as he can," Andrew announced. "Until then, all we can do is wait."

"I need to find and talk to Ian," Hillary insisted.

"Mom, he doesn't want to talk to either of us right now."

"But it's Christmas."

"I know, Mom, but he blames us." Andrew hugged her. His mother was the strongest, most determined woman he knew. She was a lioness defending her family, but this time, her claws bled the wrong person.

<<@>>

Ten days before Christmas...

After Lily changed the guest beds, she carried Ava downstairs Her surgery scar still hurt almost a month later, but she did her best to ignore it. Ignoring the litany of depression in her mind was harder.

"Good morning, Ava, Lily," greeting them, Evelynn was doing dishes. While Lily watched, Evelynn tapped Ava on the nose with her nose as the tiny girl made a gurgling sound. "Auntie loves her littlest Christmas angel," Evie cooed, taking the warmed bottle out of a bowl of water. "Time for second breakfast."

As she handed the bottle to Lily, her aunt asked, "Lily, if you want to take over the Tiger Lily Inn, I'll be happy to retire and spend all my time babysitting."

"Aunt Evie, I can't. I still need to finish my last semester and..."

"But you are such a good hostess; you'd be an excellent innkeeper," Evie pointed out.

Lily flinched, almost dropping the bottle. "Gracious, Aunt Evie, I can't take over. I always screw everything up. I don't want you to lose the Tiger Lily."

The elderly woman smiled softly, "You have gotten too used to the sound of negativity in your own mind. You are worth more than you think."

Lily shook her head as she sat down to feed Ava. "Aunt Evie, I could never... I mean, after everything I put you through," Lily reminded bitterly.

"You suffered a great shock when your friends died, then another finding Marlana like that. You are so sensitive, especially after the way your mother let you be hurt but you try so hard," Evelynn insisted then Lily added, "And fail."

"My darling, failing is how we learn to overcome. You need to forgive him; you don't want to take your anger at your ex-husband out on Ava," the older woman chastised.

Lily looked at her, confused and enraged, "How can I forgive him? I don't even know why he did what he did. We could have died. A half an inch over and the point on the star would have impaled Ava too. An inch the other direction and I would have bled out before the ambulance got there and we both would have died. My doctor texted him and he blocked her number. Did you know his mother refused to have a baby shower for me?"

Panting her pain of being rejected by the family of the man she loved, she confessed, "Ian's family had a separate dinner with me before their big Thanksgiving Day Football Party that I was uninvited to because Hillary insisted pregnant women should rest during the holidays. They resented me from day one and got Ian to get rid of me. I hope I never see them again." She screeched the last, and Ava, startled, started crying.

Evelynn nodded as she spoke in a soothing tone, "I understand but this anger you are expressing... It is toxic to your mental health."

"I'm not crazy!" Lily clutched Ava to her chest. "I have a right to be mad or sad or feel whatever I want. My feelings are valid... If you can't accept me, and my feelings then you don't really love me."

"And you think that it was okay to say the same to Kitty?" Evelynn asked in a pitying voice. "You know she does not think you are crazy and neither do I. We love you, but we are worried. You act like you are becoming depressed again. Jessica and Leonard are worried too. It might be post-partum depression, your mother..."

"What would the three of you know about that? None of you have had children. And Jessica has never had to learn consequences or about controlling her actions because her grandmom or you were always there to deal with them for her." Lily stood up and snapped, "I'm fine! I have to be fine because... because Ava needs me to love her enough for both of us." Then she stormed upstairs, carrying her crying baby.

Sighing Evelynn took her phone out of her apron pocket. "You heard it all?"

"Yes, Auntie," Jess answered first.

"What do we do?" Kitty asked.

"I don't know, my lovelies. If Ava were still with us, she would know exactly how to help our dear Lily."

<<@>>

Lily thrashed trying to escape her nightmare inside a dream.

One of the bad men that their mother traded them to, to get drugs was molesting her and child Lily screamed as she was hurt.

Inside her dream, she was awakened by Kitty shaking her. "It's okay, it's okay, I'm here."

Teary eyed, eight-year-old Lily blinked up at her sister, "I had a nightmare about the bad man again."

"I have them too. It's okay, Auntie Evie and Aunt Ava saved us," Kitty murmured back. "Hey, do you want to hear the story I am writing for Mr. Barrett's creative writing class? I'll share my cup of buttered cocoa."

Lily nodded rapidly, she loved buttered cocoa. Kitty went and got her cup and notebook and sat down against the headboard of Lily's bed. A few moments later, she leaned against her sister. Listening to the voice of the person she knew loved her more than anyone. Kitty had only a sip or two as she read aloud, making Lily drink the warm milk, butter, and chocolate until her tummy was full and her eyes were heavy. Lily woke when Kitty got up and tucked her in.

Kitty kissed her cheek, "Goodnight, little sister."

"Goodnight, big sister."

Opening her eyes, Lily could still hear her sister's love.

In the kitchen, while she made a bottle, Lily made and drank a cup of Aunt Evelynn's cannabis tea to help her sleep because she couldn't stop the nightmares about being hurt. Every night it seemed she dreamed about it or about carrying Ava out on to the ice of Lake Michigan and walking until they fell through. While Lily gave Ava her middle of the night bottle, she gulped a second cup of the potent medicinal tea until the floaty malaise of the drug kicked in.

Lily dreamed of the quiet beach wedding with just her and Ian and a few of their friends with a justice-of-the-peace. His family refused to come, demanding a one-year engagement, even though she was pregnant, however, Ian insisted he wanted to get married before he left for the U.K. for two weeks. He was going to meet with his grandfather's relatives but there wasn't time to get her passport so she wouldn't be able to go with him. From outside the dream, she realized she was just his shield against the constant attention of women who wanted to marry into the Hastings's money.

"I have the most beautiful bride of all my cousins," Ian whispered as the justice-of-the-peace declared them Man and Wife.

"Thank you," she blushed. "I love you too. And I definitely married the most handsome in your family."

"Damn straight you did!" He grinned boyishly. When he was told he could kiss his bride, he kissed her almost senseless just like in her romance books.

Lily woke to the sound of Ava screaming.

"Shut up!" Lily shouted as her head pounded painfully. The almost-month-old infant continued to voice her distress.

Groaning, Lily dragged herself out of bed, sitting up she gulped the last of the cold cannabis tea. "Enough, Ava, I'm getting your bottle."

Lily stomped into the kitchenette and slammed the can of formula on the counter hard enough the lid popped off and powder went everywhere. Cursing, Lily put the bottle to warm and stomped into Ava's room. The baby's face was red and scrunched up. Lily grabbed her roughly and put her on the changing table, stripping her out of her wet and dirty onesie, grumbling that she was just as much work as her father. Carrying the crying infant to the kitchenette, Lily forced the bottle into her mouth to silence Ava while she made herself a cup of coffee.

Out of the craving to be numb, she put a thick pinch of the dried cannabis tea in the bottom of her cup with her sugar before pouring coffee into it. Taking her cup, and Ava, Lily sat down with the unhappy baby and sipped from her cuppa as she watched the snow falling. Ava curled on her shoulder making grumpy noises as she sucked her fist while Lily became comfortably numb. Anything was better than the acid burn  of Ian's betrayal churning in her soul and the litany of her failings that whispered to her in Belinda's hateful voice.