If happiness where the sun, then I suppose sadness was the moon. For its presence is barely regarded and most disregard it. The sun shines brightly down upon our flesh and demands our attention, whether as the moon's faint glow hardly even catches the human eye. Sadness is a calm wind while happiness is a storm upon a vast ocean.

Like a child, sadness as grown throughout my life. When I lost Aunt Joe, I was as devastated as any eight-year-old could be. I cried for months, years even. Her death caused great sorrow to consume me, rarely did I find a moment to smile or laugh. When I lost Arnold, I was plagued with misery for losing my best-friend, overtime the despair that surround his death became a distant heart throb of pain. But when I lost Ryder and Oliver, misery as I have never known overtook me. Pain throttled me and insanity drove me to nearly tear out my own heart.

I could barely breath without them...I didn't want to.

Over the years my sadness rarely produced tears anymore, no, what attacked me now was gut-wrenching guilt and self-loathing. Betrayal was lending the army that attacked my soul daily. I should've died with all of them, yet here I laid beneath a bed like a coward who had failed to do the one thing that would've made everything right.

Would've made everything better again...

Tsking my tongue, I traced a single finger along the bars of the bed, the shed was consumed in its usual frigid piercing self, and I'd spent most of the day here. Every breath that emerged from my lungs was a puff of bitter air. Memories of the smoke trailing behind Asher's lit cigarette caressed my mind like the soft tips of a hand and I did little to brush them away.

Ever since our bizarre encounter in the barn all those days ago, I had failed to catch a glimpse of the rugged man. I had, however, caught passing glimpses of the other men who called this farm their home. When I'd been finishing up my work in the garden, a young boy had come running out of the woods with Joshua hot on his tail. The boy, who I later learned was Enoch, was laughing with pure childish joy even as Joshua was bursting with anger.

As Enoch had hurdled over the garden fence and raced to hide behind Esther, who had stood when his laughter pierced the once quite mid-afternoon air. Joshua threw open the garden gate with such barbarian strength that I feared it might snap as it slammed into the fence. He lifted a beefy figure and pointed at Enoch who peeked over Esther's shoulder to glance at his fuming brother.

"Give it back."

He'd ordered with primal rage swirling in his eyes, he stopped a good few feet away from Esther as if he was afraid his anger would get the best of him. My eyes had shifted and took in Enoch's nearly white hair that was pulled tightly in a braided ponytail. He looked like the embodiment of winter. His skin barely held a tan and his eyes a perfect light hazel with blueish swirls. He was young, younger than Elijah, so I assumed he couldn't be older than fourteen.

Esther had offered her oldest son a soft smile, "What's the matter?" Her words were softly spoken, and I nearly scoffed for she had hardly ever held such a gentle tone with me when she was ordering me around.

"I caught Joshua reading a poem by the river!" Enoch had exclaimed through bits of laughter.

I had said nothing as the young boy flung around a piece of paper like a white flag. Even as my eyes took in Joshua's eyes lit with embers, I remained silent. I knew it would've not been my place to intervene in such a personal fight. Whatever was on that piece of paper meant something to Joshua, I saw it in the way his fists clenched and in the way his eyes furrowed with a hint of sorrow.

Esther continued to smile even as she glanced at the paper, her own eyes filled with sadness, but her smile remained, "Enoch give the poem back to Joshua and get back to your chores." Her tone was still as soft as the clouds in the blue sky, but it was edged with refined brawn.

Enoch had whined and begged Esther to let him keep it, but she stuck to her order and eventually the young boy handed it to her with a frown. He'd glared at Joshua even as he stomped away to return to his awaiting chores.

Esther's eyes had briefly read the poem upon the page and her smile had faded to one that only housed mournfulness, "It's one of Ruth's best, I suppose." Her words were sullen, and her eyes barely left the page as she spoke, "The one about the birds was my favorite...have you found it?"

Joshua had simply shaken his head before retrieving the poem and plodding back into the forest.

I hadn't had the nerve to ask Esther to whom Ruth was as she had returned to work. I'd tried to work up the nerve to ask Malachi this morning but when he'd rushed in to hurriedly give me food, I knew it was too much of a lengthy question to ask in such little time. Hope had blossomed in me when he informed me, I'd be working alongside him for the rest of the morning, but that hope had fled on stormy waters when both Caleb and David had been there watching us. I had a feeling the question would be too personal to ask in front of others.

And when he'd leaned so close to me, only inches away from my lips, the question had disappeared from my mind entirely. My breathing had stilled within my lungs and a blush ran down the back of my neck. Even the attempt at wooing him into allowing me to go into town with him and Caleb had vanished.

As if the world had stopped spinning, had stopped existing, and only me and him existed.

When he had only placed a nimble kiss upon my cheek, my emotions betrayed me and I felt utterly, truly, and everly disappointed that his lips had kissed my cheek instead of my lips. I'd nearly grabbed his coat and forced his lips upon my own when he began to back away from me.

I'd watched him climb into the truck and then disappear down the driveway before I'd swiftly raced away in a brisk-walk, I did not even dare throw a glance over my shoulder to see what expression David wore as I nearly ran back to the shed as Malachi had ordered me too.

And for once I did not crave to disobey.

Perhaps I was still in a state of shock for my emotions were at bay along with my self-loathing thoughts. Part of me disdained his actions, my actions.

But I could not bring myself to scold myself, maybe later when the shock washed away the bubbling emotions and left only the decaying ones.

Sighing, the shed was cast within dark shadows as the oil-lamp provided little light. The winds howled outside, and a shiver ran down my spine as my eyes drifted towards the wooden door. It was not locked, no one had bothered to lock it upon my return. Part of me screamed to throw it open and dash into the night like a shadow; to disappear into the woods like a ghost.

I wanted to; I really did. But something within me refused to allow me to give into it. As if my soul knew that once my feet escaped the threshold, I would seek out death once more. Another part of me whispered in my ear that my staying was because of the wolves that lurked within the woods. I was inclined to believe that idea when the door was gently opened, and a familiar set of boots appeared near the bed.

I ignored the butterfly's that fluttered within me.

"Come out, I wish to speak with you." His words were spoken on a breathless pant as if he'd nearly ran here to see me.

I rolled my eyes and picked at my nails, "You can speak with me under here."

The anger within me was soothed tonight; it was like a baby who slept peacefully. I'd nearly felt hollow without it but I simple batted those feelings away for I truly didn't want to awake my anger.

"Please."

The word was simple, yet the pleading was as unique as a painting. Part of me wanted to rebuke him; perhaps even laugh at him for being so pathetic. But I surrounded with a sigh and crawled out from underneath the bed.

Crawling out from the opposite side as to where he stood, I stood and narrowed my eyes at the multiple bags that now sat upon the bed.

"What are those?" I questioned with a scowl.

My scowl was met with a beaming smile that etched across his handsome face, "I bought you a few things."

'A few things' was nearly eleven bags that were drowning the bed. Each bag seemed to be overflowing with different items and my eyebrows raised when they landed on a black bed set that was littered with dark purple hydrangeas on it. Through it's packaging it appeared thick, fluffy, and soft. The bitter cold nipped at my skin, and I barely restrained myself from leaping for it.

Confusion must have been laced throughout my eyes for Malachi cleared his throat and spoke softly, "I know living hasn't been easy...so I bought some things to hopefully make you comfortable."

The whiskers upon anger began to tingle and I did little to try to sooth it back into a peaceful sleep, "I can't accept this."

I wouldn't accept this.

His eyebrows furrowed, "Why not?"

My fists clenched at my sides as hurt flashed through his eyes, "Because I have nothing to give you in-return and it is not right to take yet not give back." I refuse to give him anything that I could possibly have to give.

I would not give him my body, mind or soul.

He shook his head, "I don't want anything from you, just accept this as an...apology for-."

"For kidnapping me, getting in the way of me archiving my goal, and then somehow nearly killed me." I cut him off with words bathed in bitter acid as I perched on the edge of the bed; my very bones groaned as I straightened my spin.

Malachi sighed a deep and breathy sigh, "Fine, then I'll just take them back."

He began to gather the bags within his arms, his eyes were filled with depression, and I could hardly tear my own away from them. His sadness was like a needle pricking at my soul, eating at my anger.

Tsking my tongue, I boredly picked at my dirty nails, "You are the worst negotiator I've ever met."

He stilled at my words and his arms hesitated as they gathered the bags, "What's on the table?"

"My body is off the table." I mumbled while continuing to pick dirt from underneath my jagged nails.

An emotion twisted with hurt flashed through his soft eyes and a frown pulled at his lips, "I am a lot of things Candy, but I would never take such a thing from you."

Perhaps they're stupidity was brushing off onto me, for I believed him.

My eyes once more glanced over the bags that he began laying on the bed once more. What was I willing to surrounded to him for such luxurious items?

Even as the idea emerged within my mind, I pretended to think for a few minutes and silently delighted in the sight of him nearly jumping from one foot to the other. He did little to hide the panic that crossed his facial features, and I wondered if he even realized his emotions had seeped into the features of his face.

"For thirty minutes, every night I shall walk with you." It was simple enough; I knew he was biting at the bit for more time with me. The walks would be beneficial for both of us, he could bask within my presence like some love-sick puppy while I escaped this prison and felt the moon's glow upon my ghostly skin. However cold the wind was, in the late hours of the night I found myself desperate to embrace it.

Like sparks of fire, his eye lit up and his lips were drawn from their frown into a perky smile, "Two hours, and you have to answer any questions I ask."

Rolling my eyes, I frowned, "An hour and a-half and I answer only the questions I want to."

He tilted his chin while maintaining his smirk, "An hour and you have only the option of not answering three questions per-night."

My eyes bore into him as the bastard offered the only option I would ever consider, he played me. It was obvious as to how he negotiated, he baited me into this conversation.

Gritting my teeth, I allowed anger to soak up my eyes like gasoline to cloth, "And if I refuse?"

His smirk deepened, "Then I'll take all of this stuff back."

The urge to rip out his eyeballs was nearly overtaking me as my fists balled and un-clenched. Anger was roaring in my ears to tear him apart whether that be emotionally or physically, anything to make him hurt; to make him bleed.

Tilting my chin, I rebuked those thoughts, "Leave."

Turning my back on him, I began digging through the bags. It was the coldest dismissal I could offer him without causing him to take back the agreement. My talons and fangs were released and ready to drive him away.

He left without further words, but I could've sworn there was a skip to his step and a smile bigger than the very moon plastered over his lips. I shook my head for I could not understand such boyish joy he often displayed around me. I was not some prize to be praised yet he acted as if I was his golden trophy.

That thought only made my skin bristle with annoyance and as the sound of the door being locked echoed throughout the shed, I could hardly contain the displeased frown from overtaking my lips.

The following night came in a blur of chores and silent pleasure. It had taken me nearly an hour to rummage through the bags and unburden the items. A rush of thunderbolt emotions had cursed through me as I had taken in every item. From the hairbrush that was bedazzled in small glittery rhinestones, to the small notebook that made me flinch and quickly toss aside. There was food, personal items, and even a pair of running shoes; I'd nearly cried when I unpacked them. The soles of my feet were nearly raw and bloody from being bare foot for so long.

Vexation had only emerged when I rummage through the finale bag, the contents within had shocked me so harshly that I had flung the bag and items across the room. It was only after long minutes of contemplating if my eyes were liars or if this man had the guts of Goliath. When I had worked up the nerve to retrieve the bag, I learned that my eyes were as truthful as the wind and Malachi was as gutful as a horny animal.

The items sealed within the bag had been several pairs of silk panties, all in different shades and there were a few bras that were borderline either in the genre of pure lingerie or ones that would shallow up my petite and lemon-sized breasts. I'd nearly choked on strangled laughter when I lifted a bra from the bag that would take a whole bundle of tomatoes from the garden to help me fill out.

Even as I laid under the bed now, I could not contain the goofy smile that pieced my lips at the thought of bashful Caleb and helpless romantic Malachi in the lingerie aisle of some store. I wondered if women had peered at them and laughed as I do now, and perhaps men had offered pity to them as they understood the discomfort of trying to buy such things for women.

They love to tear them from our bodies yet they're so bashful about being seen buying them.

A pleasant sigh escaped from within me as I snuggled into the comforter. Along with a soft blanket, these simple items had helped me endure another cold night. They soothed me so deeply that when Malachi had come this morning to feed me, he startled me awake instead of me waiting for him like a dog.

My fingers gently trailed over my freshly combed hair; I'd nearly screamed in pain as I had to arch my arms over my head to detangle my hair, but as the pain subsided, I was pleased to have freshly combed hair and later, teeth that weren't stained yellow.

Like a snowball, my thoughts were beginning to cluster together when the door creaked open, and the dim moonshine filled the room along with a gust of chilly air.

"Come on." Malachi's soft voice seemed to be carried by the wind as it reached me beneath the bed.

I wanted to protest for I did not wish to leave the warm blankets, but the faint memory of our bargain washed away those demands and with a roll of my eyes, I climbed out from underneath the bed and straightened my white wool dress along with the grey knitted sweater. I'd slept in the running shoes for the fear of him returning and stealing them would not flee from me.

His eyes swept over my form, and they filled with beaming joy; so much so that I wanted to hurl.

Words were not uttered from my lips as I brushed past his form, purposely bumping into his arm as I strode for the door. I tried to reason with myself that it was because I wanted to show him that just because he drowned me in gifts, I still held no respect for him. However, my heart was whispering to my soul that it was because I wanted to feel his body against my own.

Like a parent, my mind quietly scolded them for such delusional thoughts.

The night air welcomed me with cold arms and as it kissed my cheek, it left a red mark. Grounding my teeth against the chilly air, I threw a glance over my shoulder to witness Malachi shutting the door behind himself while he still held that boyish smile of his.

To avoid my eyes lingering upon his lips, I tossed my eyes away towards the forest only feet away and mumbled more to the wind then him, "Where to?"

The air chilled me to my bones and the mere thought of a stroll down the bank of the stream did little to please my frozen spine.

"There's a path that will take us away from the stream, but we'll have to go through one of the horse pastors." His words were gentle as if he was secretly asking me if I was alright with his choice.

"I've never rode a horse before." Was all I said as we side-by-side began to walk to what I assumed was the horse pastor.

"Really?" Shock was dripping from his words, and I simply shrugged.

"I grew up in cities, and there wasn't time for horses." Between fighting for my life, trying not to starve to death, and keeping men's hands off my body; I didn't have time for such useless things as riding horses.

We walked away from the shed and onto a thick forest path. The moon glowed above us, offering us a faint light.

Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he stared ahead of us, "My Ma, grew up in a city."

My eyebrows raised, as I could not imagine quiet and stern Esther living in a big and wild city.

"Did you grow up in the city?" I eyed him with curiosity as he appeared to be in his late twenties however with his hair and sharp features, he could be far younger than even myself.

"No, I've never left Holyoke."

I shrugged once more for I wasn't one for traveling either. Growing up being bounced all over the country, I once dreamed about buying a cabin in the middle of a great big forest. Living with the love of my life and being surrounded by our children perhaps a few dogs and maybe a friend or two. But that was a childish dream that was brought to life with hope, useless hope that only fools believe in.

"How old are you?" His question was so quietly spoken that I wondered if it was the wind who had whispered it.

"Twenty-three and you?"

He seemed relieved by my answer, "Twenty-seven."

Twenty-seven, he was the same age as Seth. My eyes narrowed at the mere thought of my older brother. I'd known him for mere days and then I was ripped away. I wondered if he was looking for me or if he was glad that his hands were washed of me. I wondered if in the short time we knew each other if I made some impact on him. We hardly exchanged kind words and seemed to jump straight into bickering. Was that a good sign? Or a foreshadowing of how our relationship was going to be?

We broke free of the thick and dark forest only to emerge near a waist-tall fence that seemed to stretch on for miles. There was no gate in sight, and I could only make out dark figures in the distance.

I sent a puzzled glance to Malachi as we neared the fence, "I can't climb that." Honestly was raw in my tone as my ribs screamed at the mere thought of even trying to scale over the tall fence.

"You won't need to; I'll lift you over." There was a faint hint of joy laced in his words as if he was over the moon at the fact his hands would soon be upon my body.

I snorted and roughly shook my head, "You ain't touching me." The undertone of my faint southern accent began to seep through my words as my blood heated,

This time he snorted, "The gate isn't for three miles that way," His head nodded sharply towards the north, "You would have to pass by the cabin in which Pa would see you and you don't want to know the things he'd do to the both of us if he caught wind of our actively out here."

The faint yet nightmarish memory of having that evil man's hands coiled around my throat like a snake, throttled me deeply and I scoffed trying to mask my fear behind distain and utter disgust.

"Then I shall just climb the fence." I sneered while picking up the ends of my dress. I stalked for the fence with panic already rising within me. It would be both easier and less painful to just allow him to aide me, but I would rather throw myself over it then wound my pride in asking for his help.

Aunt Joe would be rolling in her grave if she even knew I was out with a man in the middle of the night.

Tsking his tongue, like a shadow he stalked after me, "You'll hurt yourself more."

"Oh no another wound! I'm shaking in my shoes!" I dramatically mumbled while rolling my eyes.

I approached the fence and just as I reached out to grasp the wooden panel, strong hands wrapped around my waist and began to lift me, "I'm not above biting! So, get your hands off me!" I screeched like a madwoman while thrashing about within his arms.

He sighed deeply and planted me back on the ground as if completely confused by my tantrum, "As you wish."

Turning, I shoved his body away from mine with a deep scowl and gritted my teeth, "If you ever touch me like that again without my permission, I'll bite you!"

Sighing, I tried to gain control over my bubbling anger and turned back to face the fence. Inside I was shaking with both anger and fear. Fear because I dreaded the approaching pain that would surely burn hotter than the fires of hades. But my pride would never allow such a hollow dent to wound it by accepting his help.

Blinking slowly and exhaling deeply, I grasp the upper wood panel with white knuckles and place my left foot upon the lower wood panel. The mere shift of weight to my right leg caused great agony to sore high within me like a great eagle in the sky.

Gritting my teeth, I hurled my body upward and mentally blocked out the pain that throttled my screaming ribs. Biting the tip of my tongue, I beathed heavily and rested on the top of the fence. I could feel Malachi's eyes burning eyes holes into the back of my head, yet he said not even a word as I leaned towards the other side.

Sending a quiet prayer to God, I lifted my leg and began to hurl myself over the lip of the fence when the tip of my shoe caught on the wooden post. Before I could even think about what was happening, I was tumbling off the fence in a ball of limbs and silent screams.

I met the ground with a hard 'thud' but I kept rolling down the small hill. My knees connected with my forehead and my fingers got laced together with the hem of my dress. Through the humming in my ears, I could faintly make out the sound of my counterfeit name being shouted.

Seconds felt like minutes as I continued to tumble down the hill, rolling over sticks and sharp rocks. Nearby horses ran away spooked by my unnatural shape. After many moments of descending down the hill, I hit the bottom with a sharp screech.

Sweat sild down my bruised skin and I laid on my back as tears overflowed from my eyes.

"Well, that ended well." Malachi approached and peered down at me.

Panting loudly, I glared weakly up at his towering form, "Shut up."