Why should that charming beauty, like the mid-day sun ablaze,
Hide herself behind the veil, when none at her can gaze.

— Mirza Ghalib

THE ROSES SWAY in their bushes. The early morning breeze plays around them and carries away their scent with it. It's drizzling again, the raindrops soft like a feather caress against her skin. Rahaf hugs her scarf tighter around herself against the cool whispers of the wind.

Besides her, Adara seems unbothered. Her sharp eyes remain on her husband who stands further away from them with one of his officials, discussing something. A while later, Kanan joins Aswad. Rahaf continues to watch them, while Adara breaks her stare a moment later.

"How do you feel about marrying Kanan, Rahaf?"

Though she asks her the question casually, Rahaf can understand her reason behind posing it to her. Aswad must have discussed the matter with her. But she doesn't know whether her sister-in-law is asking her out of her own curiosity or upon her brother's request.

"Why makes you bring this up?" Rahaf inquires.

"Aswad thinks he might not be the best man for you to marry."

She glances at Adara. "Does he?"

"Tabrez overhead your conversation with the admiral. He informed Aswad about it. Your brother didn't like it."

Her gaze fixates again on Aswad and Kanan. Kanan is telling him something now. Adara follows her eyes.

"He wants me to know what you think."

"Do you mean to ask if I like him?"

"Do you?"

Rahaf holds onto her quiet despite knowing the answer of her heart.

"This is a betrothal your father made." Adara wraps her arms around herself as the breeze blows stronger. "This isn't only years long friendship between the families, but your commitment to each other for so long as well. Aswad worries how you might take it if this comes to an end."

"It might not affect me as much as you worry. But I'm afraid if this betrothal ends, it might create problems for Aswad," Rahaf voices her concerns. "Kanan belongs to a family which holds power and status. I don't want to make things difficult for my brother."

"That doesn't mean you sacrifice yourself for him, Rahaf. This isn't what he wants from you."

There's silence between them. The drizzle continues to fall as gently. The sun today is a dim lamp above them. The sky is a blend of pale blue and gray. Hamama is running in the distance. Her caretaker chases after her. Everything seems tranquil, yet the winds of winter tell other stories.

"He cares for you greatly," Adara says after a while, sounding pensive to her. "He may not say it, and he may not be the most expressive man either, but he does care. I know you've been closer to Ameer Tahman than Aswad, but he loves you as much as Ameer Tahman did, if not more."

Rahaf finally faces her. Adara tears away her eyes from her husband to her as well.

"I know, Adara. And I've loved him as much as I loved Tahman. Though I may have been closer to Tahman, that was only because he was closer in age to me than Aswad. And I know Aswad has lived his life under responsibilities being the eldest, especially after baba's death when he had to take the throne. I've never faulted him, and never will I in the future."

Adara gives her a grateful smile— grateful whether her husband is not misunderstood or whether he's not seen any less than his brother who was always favored against him, Rahaf doesn't know.

"Ameer Tahman never wanted to marry you to Ameer Kanan. If it wasn't for him, you would've been married to him by now."

Rahaf nods, becoming wistful. "I wonder what reason my brother had to oppose Kanan."

"He had nothing against Ameer Kanan. But rather he wanted to marry you to someone else," Adara reveals, a little dismal.

Surprised, she inquires, "Who?"

"It doesn't matter, because Aswad didn't agree to it. He didn't find it a valid reason to cut ties with Kanan's family, neither did he find the match worthy." Adara takes her hand into her own and gives it a reassuring squeeze. "Although he's hesitant about keeping these ties now, especially if Ameer Kanan really is guilty and it costs you your happiness. So if you say no, know that you can trust your brother."

There's a squeal. They both look in the direction to find Hamama having fallen to the ground. Aswad rushes towards her and picks her up in his arms. He brushes her hair from her forehead, looking her over to make sure she's alright. Then he smiles at her when he sees the child grinning and unhurt.

"I wish I could give him children."

Rahaf turns to her sister-in-law at the statement she makes. There is a melancholic look on her face— there's pain in her eyes greater than that which her voice carries. And though she tries to hide it behind a rigid expression, Rahaf cannot miss it.

"You will, Adara. Do not despair from the mercy of your Lord."

She notices Kanan making his way towards them from her peripheral vision. Adara sighs and prepares to leave.

"Let me know your answer then, Rahaf."

"Adara?"

She looks at her. It isn't like she needs any time to make a decision. Yet a second slips by, so heavy that it tries to weigh her down, as doubt creeps into her mind. Rahaf looks away to Kanan who smiles when their gazes collide. If he's the man destined for her, why is her heart not content?

"Tell Aswad that I said no."

She excuses herself when Kanan comes near, both of them tipping their heads in greeting to each other before she's left in the company of her betrothed. There's no turning back of time now. And before the devils could spew anymore doubts in her heart, she has given her answer. Something tells her Kanan is not the man for her— something about him feels wrong. She hopes her instincts don't fail her.

"Rahaf."

He tips her head at her too. Rahaf returns the gesture.

"The weather is beautiful, isn't it?" he makes an attempt at a conversation.

"It's cold."

"Yes, but it's drizzling." He holds out a hand against the drizzle. "You like the rain, don't you?"

"I do."

His smile broadens. "Would you like to take a walk with me?"

She thinks of refusing him first, but then deciding against it, she agrees.

"I would."

"Let's go to the pergola," he suggests. "We can have some time together."

"Let's not get any deeper into the gardens and stay where Aswad can see us," she declines, casting a glance towards her brother who, true to her suspicion, has his eyes on them. Adara stands with him.

Kanan looks towards him too, but is quick to avert his gaze, turning slightly so his back is towards Aswad.

"Did Ameer Aswad say something to you?" he asks.

"What about?"

"Whether he minds us being together?"

Rahaf starts walking towards the rose bushes in slow steps and Kanan joins her.

"He didn't ever mind before," he says.

"He was never around the palace much before. It was always Tahman taking care of the matters here while Aswad spent his life at the borders in wars or settling every rising unrest in the kingdom. You should understand that while Tahman was lenient, Aswad is different."

She bends down and grazes a rose with her fingertips, the raindrops on it falling away. It feels soft and cool against her skin. Kanan stands beside her, maintaining his distance and crossing his hands behind his back.

"Well then, would you mind if I propose the idea of marriage to you?"

Her eyes snap towards him. She can only blankly stare at him. He hasn't said anything shocking to her, yet that's how it came to her. Kanan nervously flicks his tongue between his lips.

"Why do you look at me this way, Rahaf?"

She blinks and straightens back. "My apologies."

"Your know we should've been long married. This was the will of your late father. But unfortunately circumstances weren't in our favor."

"True," she agrees, resuming her walk along the rose bushes. Kanan keeps up with her. "But this was the will of God. If it was written this way, maybe it had goodness in it for us."

"But now things are getting better. I thought I should bring this up to you."

"You should speak to Aswad about this. If he agrees, I agree."

"Of course," he replies, sounding pleased with her response. "I'll speak to him about it the first chance I get."

She looks at him. He smiles. Such a handsome face to such a wicked soul, she thinks. A man with everything one can desire for— from wealth and status to lineage and authority. Yet lacking in morals and values to the extent that it's difficult for her to accept him.

Rahaf smiles back at him and leans over another red rose fully bloomed and standing tall in the bush. She caresses a petal of it before it dances away from her touch with the wind.

"I'll be waiting, Kanan."

IT'S LATE EVENING when Rahaf sits in the library near a window reading a history book. Torches burn around to light the room and the curtains are pulled apart from the large windows to let in whatever radiance can come through from the moon and the stars. The sky is clear now but the glass of the window is misted.

Masruq accompanies her and sits at a table near an adjacent window. The candle on her table is close to burning out. She looks up from her book to her guard to request another candle, but finds him blowing on the window glass and drawing patterns on it. Rahaf bites her lip to contain her smile and decides not to disturb him. The glow from the torches is enough that she can do without a candle, she thinks.

It's quiet except for the occasional sound of her flipping a page. She doesn't know how much time has passed, the candle has long burnt out, when she hears footsteps. Rahaf lifts her eyes from her book once more and finds Masruq sitting attentive this time.

Through the many bookshelves, she cannot see who has joined them in the library as the person moves around, but she can hear the footsteps coming near, echoing loudly in the silence of the room. Then they stop. There's a sound of someone searching through the books. Masruq stands up from his chair and takes his position near her without making a noise.

A while later, Marrar comes into view as he steps from behind a shelf with a book in hand. He halts upon seeing her, an intangible look crossing his eyes.

"You never let your guard rest, Amira."

"It's my duty, sayyidi," Masruq replies humbly. "I don't mind."

"It's past midnight." Marrar walks towards the chair Masruq had previously occupied. "Go, change posts."

"I didn't realize so much time had passed." Rahaf nods at Masruq to give him permission to leave. "You should go and rest."

"Send Dhiraar to take your place," Marrar orders, sitting down and opening the book before him.

Masruq tips his head and leaves. When they're left alone, Marrar speaks up again.

"You should return to your chamber too. It's late."

"Don't tell me what to do," Rahaf replies calmly, though her words nurse fire.

"Right. I forgot it's not my place," he responds whilst staring down at his book.

"That's not what I meant."

"Doesn't matter, because the fact remains the same."

She drops the argument, changing the topic, "You're not on duty tonight?"

"I wouldn't be here if I was."

"You should rather be with the children."

"They're asleep. Qailah is with them," he refers to their caretaker. "They don't stay awake past midnight, unlike a certain night-bird."

"Or their father."

He finally lifts her eyes to hers. "I've never met a woman defiant as you."

Rahaf smirks. "Why, general, what trouble did I create for you again?"

"Rahaf," Marrar says her name half upset, half scolding. "Why didn't you tell me Ameer Furat was the man you met at the brothel? Instead, you went with him to the bazaar and took Tabrez with you."

"I did come to you that night but you refused to hear me out," she recalls for him. "So I thought to myself: why, Rahaf, would you go to a man for help when the Lord of mankind is Self Sufficient?"

He only gazes at her, the ice in his eyes seemingly thawing. She swallows and steals away her gaze from him.

"Rahaf." This time when he says her name, it's a plea than a scolding. "I don't want to see you getting hurt."

"I'm not a naive child you see me as." She marks the page on her book she had stopped reading at and closes it. "I know Kanan drinks, goes to brothels, and commit many sins. Do you think if you don't acknowledge it when I mention it to you, you can fool me into believing that maybe I'm wrong?"

He doesn't respond for a moment. Then she hears him closing his book too.

"I don't see you as a child, neither did I try to fool you. But if there was any excuse over which Ameer Aswad could've ended your betrothal to Ameer Kanan, I would've looked for it other than Ameer Kanan betraying you."

"Why?" Her eyes flick back to his. "Did you think I loved him so much that it would break my heart?"

He twirls a ring on his finger, a gesture showing his unease as he asks her the next question, "Did you never wish that he may love you, Amira?"

She doesn't answer. She cannot. Not because she doesn't have an answer, but because she wouldn't like to hear herself say the truth.

"I had something to say to you," she tells him. "Something I think you should consider."

"Say it."

"You should get married, Marrar."

This makes a chuckle escape him, sounding both sardonic and forlorn, bouncing off the quiet walls of the library.

"Maybe I'll think about it in a few years," he replies dismissively.

"When you're old and weak?"

"If I live until then."

This sends a pang through her heart. Him and Tahman grew up together. Her brother was only twenty five when he died. She quickly pushes away those thoughts.

"The children need love of a mother," Rahaf justifies. "And you too need someone to give you their love and make you less irascible."

His features distort at her remark. "I can take care of my children myself. And if a marriage can fix my nature, you should get married before me."

Someone clears their throat. They both turn to find Dhiraar standing by the book shelf. He tips her head at them.

Marrar stands up, taking his book with him. "Escort the lady to her chamber," he orders before leaving the library.

Rahaf gets to her feet and turns to Dhiraar. "No one in this palace has the ability to get on my nerves as much as your general."

"What can I say, sayyidati?"

"Nothing. Just tell him that I said that."

She picks up her book and leaves too.

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