((Written by Mooflepuff21

I lay back onto the soft, stratocumulus cloud, stretching my limbs out like a starfish. I felt like Patrick Star, and that's how I wanted to feel. Lazy and carefree. Not a single worry in the world. I gazed up at the cirrus clouds higher up in the sky, thinking about how they almost look like brush strokes. It made me think of the brush stroke technique called impasto, which multiple famous painters have used.

It also reminded of my babushka, who also used impasto with her paintings. It saddens me to think that she could not be here with me to teach the other angels how to use impasto correctly. They suck at it.

For a while, I laid down and thought of my babushka, paintings, clouds, and Patrick Star until a voice called from heaven... wait, I'm in heaven.

"OH, SAY CAN YOU SEE BY THE DAWN'S EARLY LIGHT??! WHAT SO PROUDLY WE HAILED AT THE TWILIGHT'S LAST GLEAMING? WHOSE BROAD STRIPES AND BRIGHT STARS THROUGH THE PERILOUS FIGHT, O'ER THE RAMPARTS WE WATCHED WERE SO GALLANTLY STREAMING? I'M NOT AMERICAN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT GOES AFTER THIS SO... LALALALALA LALA LA!!!!"

My body shot up and spun around. What stood before me was none other than the almighty archangel Gabriel... wailing the American national anthem? I scowled and stuck out my tongue. As a naive Russian child, my response was simple: sing the anthem of the Soviet Union.

"Союз нерушимый республик свободных. Сплотила навеки Великая Русь. Да здравствует созданный волей народов. Единый, могучий Советский Союз!"

...

There was an awkward pause between us. Five minutes probably past, and we were still staring at each other awkwardly. Gabriel finally broke the silence between us with a giggle. Blinking, I crossed my arms and furrowed my eyebrows.

I managed to mumble out, "What? What's so funny?"

"Well, Uriel said that you would react if somebody sang the Star Spangled Banner in front of you." Gabriel paused, then resumed talking. "I honestly didn't know you'd react by singing the State Anthem of the Soviet Union."

Wait. Higher-ups talk about me? Do they know about my super secret hot chocolate recipe? Does everybody know my recipe? I pondered about this until Gabe snapped me back into reality.

"Uh, kid, you cool?" he asked with concern. I nodded cheerfully in response.

"Yeah, I'm good." I happily responded. "I'm just confused. Why are you talking about me with other higher-ups?"

Gabe sucked in his breath. "Well, that's kinda what I came down here to talk about..." he trailed off. He just stood there, scratching his head. I snapped my fingers in front of him, wanting to hear his message. He immediately came back from the depths of his mind as he cleared his throat and continued. "Maxim, you have been ordered by the Lord to go down to Earth to guide and protect the mortal who goes by the name of Ember. Your mission is to only guide and defend, as there shall be no interfering with Ember or his friends' fates. Do you understand?"

"I... uh..." I dumbly drawled out. Listen, in my defense, it was a lot to take in. One minute, I was singing an anthem. Next minute, Gabe is ordering me to go down to Earth to do stuff I wouldn't do if I had the choice. "Okay... but... who's Ember?"

Gabriel rubbed his temples. "Do you want his full biography or just the basics?" he sighed out with an annoyed tone. My anxiety levels with this guy are way too high.

"Just the basics..." I said weakly. Gabe seemed relieved.

With a small smile, he simply said, "He's an Australian Incineroar that dresses up in a typical steampunk outfit. From what I've heard, he's not very polite."

How could a Pokemon dress himself? I thought. Who is this guy?

I decided that those facts weren't enough. "What do you mean 'not very polite'? If he dresses like he's in the Victorian era, wouldn't he be polite? Aren't people from the Victorian era supposed to be well behaved? HOW IS HE AUSTRALIAN BUT DRESSES LIKE HE'S IN ENGLAND??" I think I shouted the last part a bit too loud after taking notice of Gabe's flinching. I shrunk back. "Sorry," I whispered.

He squinted and made a weird face. "Are you sure that you can take care of this guy? It seems that you don't seem ready. I can have somebody else take care of this if you wan-"

"No-no-no-no, I'm perfectly capable of watching over this guy! Really, I am!" I interrupted. Wow, aren't I one heck of trainwreck right now? Looking up at Gabriel, I could see his judging look. I've seen many times before, only it was with other angels. He smiled smugly. Like a pug. A smugly pugly pug.

"Well, you're ambitious, and I applaud you for bearing that trait. If you think you're ready, then you're ready."

Yeah... yeah! I'm ready to do this! I thought, trying to motivate myself. I just need to know where to look for him...

Gabe turned to leave, but I grabbed him by the wrist before he could take flight. He turned to look at me, confusion was written all over his face.

"Sorry, but one more thing," I inhaled. "Where can I find this 'Ember' character?"

He just shrugged. "Wouldn't be that difficult to locate an anthropomorphic cat that looks like a Victorian drug dealer, right?" he laughed. I frowned.

How does this guy know what a Victorian drug dealer looks like? I thought bitterly.

"I need a legitimate answer, Gabriel." I mildly scolded. I sound like my mother.

Surprisingly, he answered pretty quickly. "Well, he was last seen in the forest just west from the Gates. I'd recommend picking up the pace, though. He seems like he's on the move."

With that note, I better get a move on. With my back towards the edge of the cloud, I prepared for a quick drop. Gabriel waved farewell, yelling about safe travels. I saluted him goodbye in reply as I fell off the cloud. My search for Ember had begun.

~( UwU )~

I don't know how long I've been floating above the treetops, but it seemed like five days have passed since I left heaven. Every non-existent limb that was attached to me was throbbing from use, and I was feeling pretty drowsy.

If this is how geese travel every year, then thank God that I'm not a goose.

The red, orange and brown cluster of leaves below me swayed in the wind. The cloudish form I took floated in the same direction. I wanted to fight back against the wind, but my stiff cloudy limbs refused to take action. Helplessly, I landed on the treetops.

This is stupid, I thought pitifully. I'll never find him at this rate.

The strong wind rocked the tree underneath me, causing me to roll off of the treetop. Fortunately, there was a pile of dead leaves that broke my fall, making it a little less painful. But alas, that didn't stop me from getting totally winded.

My mother once told me that there is no genuine reason to swear, and I made a vow to always follow her philosophy. But what just happened to me, however, made me break the vow, pick up all of its shattered remains, shove it into a box and forget about it. To put it simply:

"Дерьмо. Дерьмо. Дерьмо. My back. I can't feel my back!"

Life is stupid. Ember is stupid. The fact that my vocabulary was stunted due to the fall is stupid. The world, if not the entire universe, is stupid. If I could curse the Lord, I would, but I can't, therefore, I shan't.

With great effort, I stood up. Every single froomping joint in my body was probably scowling at me. Brushing away the dust and dirt, I scanned the area around me, trying to figure out where the heck I was. Nothing around me, however, looked remotely familiar.

So there I was, in the middle of nowhere while looking for a guy I've never known. I'm not worried, though. Everything's going to be alright... right?

With a sigh and a heavy heart, I continued my ostensibly fruitless search for Ember.