Im trying so hard coz i thought of him. I thought it wss partly my fault. It was my problems. I realised my problems.
I even thought i learned a lot, there was even more to discover in me as days went by.
As months went by.
As years went by.
I was insecured, i was scared of the future. I said i'd provide for him financially, but i struggled as i found out how incapable he was.
I knew very well that he was incapable. That he was insensitive and he was insecure too.
I am trying so hard, coz i wanna be able to love him fully again w/o having to worry abt money, abt the future, i wanna be able to love him unconditionally.
Coz thats what im supposed to do.
But i didnt do so. I was naive and shallow, i was stupid and ignorant.
Its over i know. There are better ppl, i know. Another one would appear and give me so much more, i know.
But all i have now is these scattered feelings. Its sad knowing full well the guy i met doesnt exist anymore. He was so shallow he turned to the other path. He changed and he is forever gone.

Its just me and my gloomy future. I dont have time anymore.
Im fucking jealous too.
Oh my fking god i dont wanna hang out w her again. All she does is takes away from me. My emotions my time my money my knowledge.
What the fuck can you do for me now that i have given so much.
Fuck. Now that i write it down i realise how much of a fucking bother in the mind she is. All she do is fucking takes. And i have given you too much im exhausted now you pretentious bitch. Why do you care so much about that trash guy? He cheated on his gf several times? Why the fuck want to suck on his balls and lick his dick fearing that he would not like you anymore? I cant fucking explain you. Why are you using him too? Hes that shit then why the FUCK you are still around him? Why do you care so much about his opinion abt you? What the fuck are you planning on taking away from him?
"There are a lot of people here". How about telling him "well wheres your fucking gf huh?"
This shit wont go well. I didnt even fucking know why i added you to my fake acc. Fucking regret it rn.
Girly you are no fucking different from the one u keep talk shit abt w me doe. Wheres the fking difference i cant even see. At least she would give me emotional support and motivation.