Chapter Six.
The Past.
Kainyechukwuekene.

My life- starting from my pre-teenage years- was like the pendulum drop at Omu Resort. I had days when I was at my lowest, but those days were calm, they were the days I enjoyed least. My emotions were getting the best of me. I despised it because there was no thrill, just a fear of what was to come. Just me facing the reality of life. I did love the moments I was up- at the peak of my happiness, even though I knew at some point I would come crashing down to my lowest. Not always my lowest, sometimes I was at two hundred and seventy degrees, other times ninety degrees or forty-five. Being at my peak- that three hundred and sixty degrees was the best feeling, but once the pendulum of my life dropped, everything was back in place. I would appreciate the time I had spent up there, wishing I could go again for another ride but too scared that it will always be over. I would face my reality, I wouldn't dream of touching or being so close to the sky.

It was a week before school, my parents were at it again, My mother was screaming her lungs out in the kitchen, and my father sat there, folding his arms and smiling. His smile said, "Look at you, making a fool out of yourself."

But that smile didn't last long. It never did. He would suddenly stand up, and bang the table so hard that the things on it flew up and landed back on it like you'd see in a movie. Menacingly, he would walk towards her and grab her throat, punching and beating her but he'd never touch her face. He always told her that, unlike her body, her face was too pretty to be punished.

As usual, I stormed up the stairs, neither of them paying attention to me and plugged in my ears. Music was my therapy. In a Nigerian home where I couldn't tell my parents I needed a therapist, music was my shrink. The only thing is, no matter the type of shrink you have- you'd always get angry, and sometimes you wouldn't want to have anything to do with your shrink. That day was like that.

Despite the music whispering its way into my soul, I couldn't help but relive memories of my parent's fight.

I got on my knees silently and prayed to God that the neighbours- an old couple- on the right side of our house would interfere so they could stop their screaming. The neighbours on our right side never did anything. It was like they never heard the fights or they just didn't care. They were also a couple, we had been living side by side for about four years but my family and theirs never really crossed paths, my mother and the woman only greeted each other when they saw and sometimes gossiped with the familiarity of someone you knew but didn't know. Sometimes I watched them from my window wishing my parents could be as quiet and calm as them.

A week before this recent incident or rather an episode of my parent's fight, I noticed a new addition to their household. A young girl, about my age, was always sitting on the porch, a novel in her hand and a vaguely familiar dog. Sometimes, the dog would get in the way of her reading and she would have loud arguments with it. That was how I knew the Chihuahua was Luna.

She seemed like a lonely person. Apart from the arguments with her dog, she always seemed to be talking to it and the clueless Chihuahua would yap gibberish in response to whatever she was saying. She would take the dog for a walk every day. I knew she always took the longer route to the estate park, a long and deserted road- just as lonely as she was.

That was the day I decided to get to know who she was. I checked on Kainene, my seven-year-old sister, glad that she was asleep and was not traumatised by my parents' fight. I removed my AirPods and shoved them in my jean pocket together with my phone and went downstairs, looking for a leash in the shed. I found one and fastened it around my dog's neck- a Chihuahua just like hers. Raphael was too glad to roam about outside the compound that I almost regretted taking him along.

All the same that night was a beautiful one. We walked back home together all the while conversing too easily. A moment we both wouldn't acknowledge in years to come. I told her it was a romantic moment, but mentioned our dogs.

The disappointment- that nestled its way into her, darkening those eyes of hers a little told me that our destinies were entwined so when I saw her in the principal's secretary's office, I was not necessarily surprised.

I waved at her shyly, quite scared of her guardian and slapped my hands around one of the few people I would call a friend- Tiara, and in a rushed whisper told her that I was probably in deep shit.

Tiara laughed and told me to tell her about it- quite audibly.

Once again, I saw disappointment in Clarisse's eyes and I felt I had done something wrong.

Tiaraoluwa

School had started and there were rumours of three new students in my class already. I hated change more than anything else, because change was always uncertain. You couldn't tell if it was going to be good or bad. When I walked downstairs to relay a message- a written note from one of my teachers- to the secretary, I met one of them. She was beautiful, with her small nose almost buttoned but too flat to be considered one. Even from her seated position, I could tell she had hips. She had a round face with wide eyes, full eyebrows and lashes that looked almost artificial, full and pouty lips. Everything about her was full apart from her chest. She was fair in complexion.

Kainye- the closest male friend I had after Solomon- came to meet me at the office and we walked out together. At first he told me he was probably in deep shit and later that he knew her, that her name was Clarisse, she was a nice person and they were neighbours. I smiled when he told me that because I could already sense something sparking between them. All the same, I kept quiet- not wanting to start teasing him too early.

"One of the new students came to class already," Kainye told me as we walked up the stairs. "He's in the science department so that means your class."

"Is he handsome?" I asked, stopping in front of his class- the second arm of SS2 or eleventh grade as you may call it, which was for students studying the arts and humanities.

"I don't know." He put his hands in his pockets and leaned on the wall opposite me. I could hear the whispers of his classmates- the twins, very annoying but I liked them and one of their closest friends Ugonna. "Maybe."

"Is that him?" I asked when I saw a guy with thick white framed glasses come out from my class.

"Yeah."

"You should have just said he's ugly," I scoffed, playfully pushing his shoulders. "You don't have to be polite all the time, even behind backs."

Kainye laughed and ran his hand through his hair. "Everyone is beautiful in their own way."

"We all know that's not true, someone probably made that quote to make themselves feel better because they were ugly."

"Beauty is on the inside," Kainye said with a smile.

"Ever poetic," I rolled my eyes. "But I'm sure he's just as rotten as his face on the inside. Bleh."

"Tiaraoluwa!"

The new boy walked over to us, his pot belly moved from side to side slightly. It was almost like he was pregnant because his stomach seemed so taut and he walked like he had swollen feet. Almost like he couldn't carry the weight of his body. "Kanye West my man! What's up?" He said excitedly, waving and smiling like a four year old Zambian kid who had just been taken to the mall to ride escalators for the first time. I knew that about Zambian kids because I was a lover of Trevor Noah's comedy.

I concluded I didn't like the new boy. "It's kain-yeh," I corrected, knowing that Kainye didn't really like it when people called him that. He didn't like Kanye West just like I didn't like Kim Kardashian.

"Oh I know, I just like calling him that."

"Well don't," I said curtly. The new guy irritated me. He seemed to be one of those people who did everything and anything to fit in. Those who tried pleasing people but also turned heads against each other because of that. We all do things to fit in, even I do those things. I might try pleasing people too but there's a limit to it and he was certainly going past that limit.

"So won't you introduce me to this fine babe?" He asked, bouncing on his feet. I noticed he had man boobs- like actual boobs. "Or is she your babe? Want to share?"

Kainye clicked his tongue in annoyance. I knew he was thinking the same as I was- after all, you know what they say about great minds. "She's Tiara."

"Yes I am and not a property that will be shared by anyone," I said, puffing my chest and looking him straight in the eye. "Learn to respect women!"

"Even when you're angry your eyes are still soft and beautiful," the new boy said. "My name is Chimankpa." He held out his hands but I disregarded him.

"I didn't ask." He turned and left - after daring to give me a wink.

I was right about Chimankpa though. He was the kind that turned heads together. I left Kainye's class and walked into mine.

"The new kid is everywhere but he seems nice," Wallace a bisexual classmate of mine told me, following me to Ivie's table. I disliked his attitude a great deal, but I admired his audacity. "I told you we should've said hi to him in the morning."

"He was the one we saw in the morning?" I asked when we got to Ivie's table. I sat down on it and gave her a smile. She pulled my cheeks in response.

"Yes nau," Ivie laughed. "Do you have amnesia or what?"

"No," I mumbled quietly. "He just didn't look that ugly in the morning and he seemed reserved."

"Tiara this your mouth!" Wallace exclaimed.

"Abi!" Ivie agreed with a smile.

Ivie was a person I would've called a best friend, we had known each other since kindergarten class only that I also didn't tell her really deep stuff. She told me about her secrets though, but hers were nothing compared to mine. I had known her for fourteen years. For the record, I was going to be sixteen a few months from that day. To answer your question, I was the youngest in my class.

The next day at school, two new students, a boy and a girl, resumed and- Wallace and Kamsi fought due to a misunderstanding caused by Chimankpa. No one liked him after that but they never said it out loud. However, there were other incidents that made me hate him more.

And just so you know, Chimankpa isn't necessarily a huge part of this story I'm telling you, but he did in a lot of ways, did things that affected my life negatively.