"𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆. 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒖𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒘𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆." — 𝗡𝗢𝗥𝗠𝗔𝗡 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗦

• • •

Prologue: The Night I Lost Everything
Sophia Crawford

 If you told me that I was about to lose my boyfriend in a terrible accident, I wouldn't have believed you. I mean, how could I? We were running to his car whilst the rain was pouring over us. If he wasn't jumping in the rainwater puddles in the sidewalks like he discovered it for the first time in his life, that is. There were no words being exchanged between the two of us, just giggles and loving looks. There was absolutely nothing to worry about, at least that was what us seventeen year olds thought. We were carefree, but most importantly, we were just... free.

We were about to start our life together, at seventeen years old, without anyone in our way. 

Not our parents. Not our friends. Absolutely no one.

There was no room for anything bad, or negative. Only happiness and positivity.

I didn't want to believe that anything bad could happen that night, because everything felt so right. But even I knew that happiness is sometimes short-lived, and tragedy is bound to happen right after.

My tragedy happened to be losing Daniel.

An accident took place that night—the night we thought nothing could possibly go wrong.

Daniel died, and that was the biggest tragedy that ever happened to me. He died in a terrible accident. It was a terrible tragedy, one that could have been prevented if it wasn't for my negligence, but wasn't, and it was a price I was now paying with regret and guilt and immense grief. I can't pay it with anything else. I wish I could have paid the price of losing him with my own life instead, but life unfortunately didn't work that way. You suffer the consequences of your own actions. You have to pay the price of making terrible mistakes. There are no redo's. There are no second chances, because Death doesn't ask questions and Death doesn't ask you if you want to go with him or not. He just takes you, or a loved one, away. Death doesn't bargain.

Death took my Daniel away from me. 

But I couldn't be angry at Death. Not when I was the one who sent him to Daniel's doorstep.

I am going to tell you about my tragedy, and how that tragedy lead to another one, and another.

It all happened one night Daniel and I decided to run away. It was a cliché, to say the least, but nothing mattered more to me than running away with the guy I loved most in the entire world. I didn't have anything else, anyways, I only had Daniel, and that was more than enough for me.

We were running to his Honda Accord standing on the other side of an empty parking lot.

We were soaking wet from the rain that randomly started to pour over us. The raindrops were running down our faces like we were taking a shower, and our clothes were so wet that it stuck to our skin.

My brown hair was completely soaked. Every strand was stuck to my head and my neck, clinging to my skin and leaving behind droplets of water as I moved. It was as if I had just stepped out of the shower, my hair sticking together in clumps and plastered to my face.

Daniel stopped suddenly then, and I frowned, wondering why the hell he came to an abrupt halt.

But then a giggle escaped my lips when he jumped with both his feet, sneakers and socks, into a murky puddle in the empty parking lot. He really was acting like a child who discovered rain for the first time, but seeing the huge grin on his face made me smile just as wide too. He was being himself, not that he never was, but there was no one around to tell him to act like a grown up. In that moment, we felt like little kids again, jumping in puddles without a single care in the world.

The puddle water soaked his shoes, socks and the complete bottom hem of his moss green cargo pants. He just shrugged it off like it was nothing, grinned, and did it for a second time. 

It wasn't like he could get any more soaked, anyways.

When he was done playing in the puddle of rainwater, he grabbed my hand firmly into his and pulled me along with him as he started to run.

Daniel was tall, towering over my with his strong presence. It took a few tries for me to keep up with his long strides, but after a while, it was a losing battle for me. Daniel's strides were too long for my short legs to keep up, so Daniel lifted me up bridal-style while I laughed as he ran.

We finally made it to his Honda Accord standing on the far side of the empty parking lot.

I held out my hand, palm-side up so he could hand me his car keys.

He fished his car keys out of his cargo pants' pocket and dropped it into the palm of my open hand. The cool metal of the keys made me shiver but I forgot all about it when he leaned down to place a tender kiss against my forehead. The gesture, even though he did it many times before, never failed to make my knees grow weak, and my cheeks to redden. I could only look at him as I felt the heat of my blush coating both my cheeks even though I was cold from the rain.

Daniel's nyctalopia—night blindness—prevented him from driving around in the dark a lot due to him not being able to see very well in poor lighting, and during the night, and with the rain pouring so heavily onto us; it would've made it more difficult for him to focus on the road, so he was letting me drive his brand new Honda Accord.

He never minded me driving his car anyways. It always gave him an excuse to hold my hand or to squeeze my thigh.

Daniel grinned widely, showing off his perfect teeth and winked at me.

I unlocked the car with the key and I get in, rubbing my arms to warm myself. I didn't think it was such a great idea to run in the rain the way that we did, but I wouldn't have done anything differently. If spending time with Daniel meant jumping into puddles and running underneath the cold spray of rainwater, I wouldn't change it for anything in the entire world. I would gladly do it over and over again, even if it meant getting violent shivers, cold hands and soaked socks, because it was memories like these that truly mattered, the small things that made me happy.

Before Daniel got into the passenger side, he shook his head, ridding his hair from the rainwater. He didn't even give me a chance to slide the keys into the ignition when I felt his hand enclosing over my thigh, his hand squeezing the flesh gently, causing me to shiver in my seat, blushing.

The rain pitter-pattered against the roof of the car. 

There wasn't any thunder, only the sounds of the rain falling against the car roof. There was also an occasional lightening flash far in the distance, but it was too far for us to hear the sounds of it.

"I feel rebellious." Daniel said once we started to drive.

I felt rebellious too seeing that we were on our way to leave this good for nothing town with nothing but the clothes on our backs and the few dollar bills we have stashed inside an envelope lying in the glove compartment, as well as our luggage lying in the backseat of the car.

When we drove away, I didn't feel the need to look over my shoulder. I didn't have loving parents who were awaiting my return home. Hell, they didn't even bat an eyelash that morning when I told them that I was going to spend my day with Daniel. They were too busy talking business to even care about her daughter and her whereabouts with her boyfriend.

Daniel snapped me out of my thoughts when he leaned forward to connect his phone to the car's stereo, and when the music started to play, Daniel placed his phone in one of the empty cup holders and started to bob his head to the instrumental music playing in the background.

A few minutes into the drive, I couldn't help but look at Daniel, just briefly. He was in his own personal bubble, listening to the music playing in the background with his one hand squeezing my thigh every few seconds, and if he wasn't squeezing my thigh, he would drum his fingers against my thigh, going in sync with the beats of the soft music playing in the background.

Daniel was the only person in the world who ever gave a shit about me, so looking at him now made my entire heart swell inside my ribcage. Daniel was the kind of person who wore his heart on his sleeve, and his emotions were very clear. I could always tell what he was feeling just by looking at him, and looking at him now told me that he was happy.

"I love you." I said.

When I told him I loved him, I meant the words, and I didn't just love him because he was my boyfriend. I loved him because when everyone else failed me, and left me, Daniel was there to pick up the pieces. He was there to tell me he loved me every time my parents didn't. When Hannah in eight grade swept my lunch from my table, sending my sandwiches to the dirty ground, leaving them inedible, Daniel was there to give me the other half of his sandwich. And when my mother told me how annoying I was when I wanted to tell her all about my day and all the new things I have learned in school that day, Daniel was there to remind me of the things he loved about me, to make me feel better about my absent mother, to make me forget that I was unloved in my own home. So no, I didn't love him just because he was my boyfriend. 

I loved him because he showed me that I was capable of feeling love and that I deserved it.

"I love you too." Daniel said, flashing that smile that had me falling for him all over again. "I love you so much, Sophia Crawford." He squeezed my thigh gently, sending a jolt of electricity running through my entire body.

My eyes moistened, and then I smiled at him.

I followed the road and passed multiple road signs, streetlights and houses until I finally made it to the exit that would lead to the freeway.

I smiled the farther we drove away from our hometown, the farther I drove from my parents.

I didn't feel an ounce of regret leaving them behind. 

For them, specifically my mother, it would've been a blast that I wasn't there anymore. I don't think she realized that I was gone in the first place that night. Hell, she didn't do anything about it, either. She didn't contact the police to call me in as missing, she didn't even call or send a message. And I was right, she never did now that I think about it. She didn't blow my phone up with multiple messages to ask where I was or where I was going or if I even was with Daniel. I bet she just went about her day, painting her face with make-up, and just didn't care where I was or if I was going to walk through the front door again that day, because the less she saw me, the better for her.

But that's not important right now.

My mother's incapability of loving me is, and was, the least of my worries.

Let's get back to the tragedy I was talking about.

A moment of silence passed over us when the song stopped to play the next one.

I took the time to steal another quick glance at Daniel, wanting to make sure that he still wanted to do this with me and that he wasn't having any regrets, but when I looked at him, the smile from earlier vanished, and my biggest fear came true: he was having second thoughts, he was regretting the decision coming with me. "Daniel?" I questioned carefully, looking at him briefly before turning back to the road. "What's wrong?" As the words left my mouth, my heart started to hammer crazily inside my chest, and my stomach twisted into a bundle of nervous knots.

I started to drive slower just in case he wanted to turn back.

I didn't want to drive further onto the driveway if that was the case. The thought alone made me feel sick to the stomach, but I would respect his decision nonetheless, even thought it would hurt me in the process. His happiness always came before mine, and if that meant turning around to take him back home, I would gladly turn the car around and I would take him home.

"Do you want to do this?" He asked, his eyebrows pulling together as he waited for my reply to his question, but before he could, he added: "I just don't want you to regret anything, Sophia."

I chuckled, feeling relieved as the nervous knots in my stomach started to untwist themselves. "Of course I want to do this! I thought you were the one having seconds thoughts." I looked at him when there were no cars driving in the lane in front of me. I frowned when he didn't say anything, and the feeling of uneasiness took over again. "Do you have second thoughts? Because if you do, I won't hesitate to take the next exit, turn around and take you home."

I was starting to panic when the silence became louder, but when he took my hand into his and gave it a gentle and comforting squeeze, I started to relax again. "I'm sure." Daniel said, flashing me a reassuring grin. "I want to do this. You are my home, Sophia."

I smiled at his words. "Are you sure?" I asked him just for confirmation. "Because you're leaving everything behind for someone like me. You are giving up a lot of things to be in this car with me right now. Your future... Your parents... Your education..."

He nodded, not seeming to have any regrets at all. "I'm leaving everything behind because the only thing I'm looking forward to is spending my future with you." I didn't think that it was possible for one's eyes to glow, but his definitely did. "I love you and I want to do this with you. I don't want to be anywhere you're not. I don't have second thoughts. You don't have to worry."

I released his hand to turn into another lane.

The rain was falling so hard, the windshield wipers barely kept up with it. The rain spilled down in thick sheets in front of us. The streetlights and the car's headlights helped light the way.

The air inside the car was chilly, but the more we drove, the more the car's air conditioning started to warm the car up. I didn't really process the chilly air because Daniel's hand was holding mine again and his hand was so warm, and when he caressed his thumb over the skin above my knuckles, I could barely focus on anything else but his thumb caressing my hand, but having his warm hand in mine reminded me that I wasn't just imagining things. I was running away with Daniel who loved me, who cared for me. Being with Daniel made me forget about everything bad that ever happened to me. He replaced so many bad memories with good ones, with ones I would cherish forever and for that I will always be grateful to have him in my life.

His kisses were a reminder that he can kiss all of my problems away. His hugs kept all of my broken pieces together and his smile assured me that everything was going to be okay.

We drove for another half an hour when the rain finally died down. It was still raining lightly, a faint drizzle, and I could at least look through the windshield without having to squint my eyes to see anything in front of me, and the windshield wipers didn't have to work as much anymore.

Daniel exhaled sharply and then inhaled deeply again. 

"I have to tell you something." He said, fighting to keep his voice steady. "Ask something, actually."

"What is it, Daniel?" I asked, feeling completely calm and collected now that he reassured me that he wanted to do this with me, so I didn't doubt for a second that he changed his mind right now. He already said that he didn't have any regrets coming with me, so I had no doubt in my mind that what he wanted to tell me, or even ask me, was something else entirely.

"I love you. You know that right?" He asked and I nodded, slowly, not sure where he was going with this.

I felt panic threatening to take over again. I've watched enough movies to know that a conversation about one confessing his/her love randomly usually didn't end very well.

Daniel smiled sweetly and my panic vanished as fast as it came.

Before I could process what was happening, Daniel fished something out of his jacket pocket and took something out from it. I couldn't get a good enough look to see what it was, but when he opened his palm and revealed a small black box, realization slowly started to dawn on me.

I gasped, loudly.

It cannot be a ring, right? 

I mean, right?

"Sophia Crawford," he started and my heart started to hammer violently inside my ribcage, "would you make me the happiest guy by marrying me someday?"

I remember opening and closing my mouth to form a full word, but when Daniel opened the little black box, revealing a beautiful leaf twist diamond ring inside of the box, all the words in my little vocabulary disappeared into a big mess of just... nothing. I was rendered speechless.

I remember thinking that it must have been a dream, or even a big joke.

I was waiting for him to burst out laughing and to tell me that it was all just a funny joke, but he never did. I knew it wasn't a joke when I noticed the hand he was using to hold the black box started to tremble. He was nervous. He really did just ask me to marry him and it wasn't a joke.

I managed to look at him, into his beautiful eyes, and not at the ring sitting in the black box just waiting for him to take it out and to slide it over my ring finger.

"But," I croaked, feeling like I swallowed a few frogs, "aren't we too young? How would we even... I— Daniel—" The words tumbled out of my mouth. I couldn't form a proper sentence.

I would have stopped the car if I could, but I wasn't allowed to stop on the freeway, not if it wasn't an accident, but there weren't any cars in sight. Well, there weren't any cars driving on our lane. That I knew for a damn fact. I double checked before looking at him.

"Are you sure?" I asked him.

I knew we were running away together to start our future together, but marrying was definitely different than to just run away with someone. Yes, the commitment was the same, but marrying someone was for life, and it isn't a joke at all.

"I'm sure, Sophia." Daniel confirmed.

I need to give him an answer soon before he thinks that I don't want to marry him and that I don't want to spend my entire life with him, but of course no words wanted to form at all. All I could do was look at Daniel, the road in front of me, and the black box still resting in the palm of his hand, and then at the road again as I tried to wrap my mind around what just happened.

He was looking at me with hope inside those eyes of his. He was being patient. "We will figure it out." He said when I still didn't give him an answer. "We will figure it out, we always do." He smiled, reassuringly, and that was all the confirmation I possibly needed.

"Yes." I whispered, nodding repeatedly. "Yes, I will marry you Daniel." I was shaking but it wasn't from the cold, and there was a swarm of butterflies in my stomach. I forget about the shaking and the butterflies when I leaned toward him to place a kiss against my future husband's lips.

I kissed him long and hard.

When I pulled away from him, he took the ring out of the box.

"We should probably stop to do this part." I suggested.

We definitely should have stopped, but then again, there was no one on the road in front of us.

Daniel shook his head. "It would be quick," he said, "just hold out your finger."

I did. 

I held onto the steering wheel with my one hand, and held out my finger with the other.

Daniel slid the ring on my finger, the cool metal of the ring making me shiver slightly.

The ring was perfect. It fit like a glove.

I was engaged. 

I was Daniel's fiancée.

I look to the road, seeing nothing in front of me. No cars, just empty road and nothing else.

I used my free hand with the beautiful ring on my finger to cup his warm cheek. 

I pulled him closer again, kissing his delicate and sweet lips.

He pulled away, smiling, but his smile vanished as fast as it came. His eyes widened in shock and before I could ask him what's wrong, he yelled: "Watch out, Sophia!"

I turned my head to the front to see what was going on, but it was already too late.

The empty road wasn't so empty anymore.

But I was so damn sure that it was.

Daniel's car swerved side to side and all I could remember before everything went completely dark was a set of headlights coming straight toward us, and the sickening sound of metal crashing against metal when the oncoming car collided into his Honda.

That was my tragedy—because of a mistake that I made by looking away from the road.

Authors Note

That concluded the first chapter of Tragedy. If you're here expecting a happy-go-lucky book, I'm afraid you'll be met with disappointment because Tragedy is about what it says in the title: tragedy. It's about having to live with the consequences of your actions, being curious, and making difficult decisions. Tragedy will be one hell of a rollercoaster ride, that is for sure, and if you're willing to stick around for the ride, just know that it would be appreciated immensely.  

yours truly, dee.