She didn't get very far after leaving the station.

Just outside the precinct, Constable Cheetashwar Chaturvedi's tall frame halted her to a screeching stop. She haphazardly wiped her tears. His callousness currently was beyond her comprehension and she didn't have the conviction to decipher it.

But she had unfinished business with him.

"Santu Ji, are-are you crying?" he asked, reaching out to wipe the tears that had fallen past her eyelashes.

"No," she denied instantly swiping her hand at her cheeks. Making the mistake to look at his face, she bit her lip. There stood her...boyfriend? She wasn't sure what to call the man since they went on a break. She barely recognised him and the cold eyes that stared back at her.

When a picture becomes too blurred due to close proximity, it is best to take a step back and re-evaluate its beauty. Sometimes the beauty of it turns out to be an illusion, a concoction of expectations and rose-tinted truths.

Given the nature of their jobs, it wasn't counted as much of a break or a step back since they still saw each other every day. Thankfully, she did have some time off in between her training period and medical leave of absence to give her relationship with him serious thought.

"We need to talk."

For the first time in weeks, it seemed like he was serious about something. Morbid that it has to be this of all things. Not even the station closure news derailed his stubbornness.

"If this is about my change in attitude that everyone keeps pointing out and talking about, I don't want to hear it."

"It's not about your behaviour, Cheetah. It's about us," she said firmly, walking past him and gesturing to the crowd around. "I don't know about you but I don't want to do it where we have an audience."

He nodded and the pair silently made their way to a nearby park. They found a secluded spot amongst the small afternoon picnic visitors.

Cheetashwar stood stiffly staring at the junior constable expectantly. "I am all for surprises but now I am getting worried. What is happening?"

Santosh made it a point to look him in the eye as she spoke. "I have been thinking about us and our relationship," she noted the twitch of his eyebrow and slowly forming crinkle. "This isn't healthy. We are two individuals with different goals in life..."

He was quick to cut her off. "I know my recent behaviour hasn't been the best or up to your standard..."

"Cheetah."

"I'll go back to being the same old me. I promise..."

"This isn't about that, Cheetah."

"Then what? What is this about?" he asked, running a shaky hand through his tousled hair. "Throw me a lifeboat here because I am lost."

Seeing as there was no point in cushioning the blow, she went in straight to the issues in their alliance. "You were the one who locked me in my house that day wasn't it?"

The question caught him off guard and silenced his rambling. "What?"

"When I was supposed to go meet sunny that day, you were meant to be guarding the wedding apparel. Instead, you came all the way to my place and locked me in," the anger she kept buried over this incident came bubbling to the surface of her composure. "There is no point denying, Cheetah. I saw the CCTV and I know that the wedding gown went missing."

"If you knew, why didn't you confront me earlier?"

"Because I was waiting for you, to be honest with me. Clearly, I expected too much. I am not someone's property. I am a very capable human being who can make her own decisions and choices. You had no right to do that."

Cheetah lowered his gaze to the grass beneath, kicking aimlessly. "I m sorry, Santu Ji. I was insecure and desperate. I made some really stupid decisions. But I still love you. I always have,"

"I wish that was enough for this relationship." she sighed. This was her first serious relationship and it almost didn't seem fair for it to come to such a tragic end especially since it barely even began. However, it was better to fix her mistakes now rather than regret them later. "But it's not."

"Then tell me what I need to do. I'll do anything."

"Just like how you went up to the rooftop and wanted to jump off to prove your love. How does that prove anything?"

"It proved that I am willing to do anything to show you how much you mean to me."

"By traumatising me time and again. Do you have any idea how painful it was looking at your supposed dead body or how terrifying it was to see you about to commit suicide? And for what? To show your love? That's not love... that's obsession and stupidity."

Cheetahwar gave a sad smile. "You think my love isn't true," he stated with hands stuffed into his pocket.

Real love is a protector from one's own self-destructive tendencies, a defender from unseen threats, and a ride-or-die connection that sticks with one regardless of disturbances. It is undeniably raw and it will roar when called upon. It will stay with her in the quietness of grievances and be her comfort from the agony and disappointments of life. Real love will celebrate her success, and raise her beyond where she is right now. Real love would accept her bouts of sadness and kiss the scars she carved on her skin and hid from others.

This isn't real love.

"I think your idea of true love isn't the same as mine," It sounded insulting but was really plain facts. She wished there was a way to put them down gently but it didn't matter when Cheetashwar himself seemed unfazed by her words. "I live in fear every day wondering when your next unforeseen move will come and I'll be left picking up the pieces again. so we both need to take a minute and sort our lives out before we are ready to be in a romantic relationship."

"Wow, that's awfully convenient, isn't it? I have one setback and suddenly you are unable to handle this change. You ran through fire and now your love for me is ashes."

"Your current indifference comes from a place of hurt, anger and pain. Maybe in some way shape or form, it's justifiable. I want to understand it but I can't do that if you are going to freeze me out. Boyfriend or not, I still care about you."

"Then why are you doing this?"

"Because we are not ready. Because a relationship is more than what I can take right now. Because we are not as compatible as we would like to think. Because I cannot stand waking up every day and feeling like there's a weight on my chest restricting my ability to breathe." she listed, each reason causing her eyes to well up even more than before. The last one coming almost like an epiphany. I felt suffocated. Relationships were best when people were not the same. Opposites attract as they say. But people needed to be complementary.

"Cheetah, you need to sort out your priorities and I need to work on my trust issues." seeing him defeated, left a pang of guilt but she knew this was the right thing for the both of them. "I am not saying that I am completely blameless for this situation we are in right now. I was blinded by gratitude when I proposed. That was disgraceful of me and I am sorry. It wasn't fair to you and I am sorry. I am so sorry, Cheetah. But I am not going to apologise for putting both our mental wellbeings before anything."

"My mental health is perfectly fine," he argued, stubbornly crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"The man you once were, the one I fell in love with would have kicked your ass all over the ground for talking to me like that and for behaving the way you did with everyone else. You were someone. You were that guy with ethics, principles and compassion."

"Yea and all I have to show for that kindness is a hand-sized bruise on my face and hundreds of meme pages on social media platforms."

"It sucks. I know," Santosh sighed and copied his actions. "I am no psychologist. Hell, you'd know better than me," Cheetashwar was a women's phycologist specialist after all. There would have definitely been common interdisciplinary modules that he took. "But it doesn't take a degree to know that you've been through a lot and it has affected you. You need help, we both do. There's no shame in that. But, unfortunately, we can't help each other."

She prayed with all her zest that he would say something- liberate her from this crushing amount of guilt that caused her shoulders to slump.

"You are the best thing that ever happened to me," Finally, a crack appeared in his otherwise composed exterior. Cheetashwar let his tears drip down his cheek all the way to his chin before they tumbled to the ground. "I love you, Santosh. I am sorry that it wasn't enough, that I wasn't enough." he acquiesced. The old Cheetashwar had reappeared after weeks of an empty shell wandering around aimlessly. "I am blessed for the time we had, for the love we shared, and the best of you will remain in my heart."

Santosh despite herself, leaned in for a final embrace. "You're a good man and a good friend. Any girl would be lucky to have you. I am sorry but I am not that girl."

The male constable didn't have any words left to say as he detached himself from her and walked back to the precinct. This breakup would be how he rediscovered himself, through the challenges he encountered as he entered new spheres of life.

Santosh stood there, arms empty and frame shaking with the force of her sobs, taking moments of solitude to compose herself.

For the time being, In the wake of this excruciating heartache, the sun won't shine. The bird's song passes begrudgingly through the air as if the melody can't glide like it once did before. She would let this pain be her mentor and motivation to hear her once playful soul rise above the ashes. She'd rather face this discomfort than comprise her self-respect.

It takes courage to put oneself before others. She needed a relationship that was secure and didn't drown in the eye of a storm- a relationship that sailed no matter the weather.

They are a two-way street, something based on love, trust, certainty and consistency. She needed to get real before she became lost and lonely in this pursuit of happiness. Cheetashwar and Santosh loved each other. That definition of love however differed. If there is no reciprocal love, they would become alone. Now that she knows, Santosh can become a person with a solid connection to her own feelings, a person in control of her own life and a person able to seek something more akin to genuine and good.

A/N: Don't forget to R&R!