Fay hummed, drumming her fingers on the table in the visiting area, staring off into space as Charlie and Optimus were talking. It didn’t even register in her mind that they were talking to her, just that some noise was interrupting her reverie. It was easy enough to ignore however, and she just kept her thoughts, mostly musical, to herself. She couldn’t care less what anyone was saying right now, really, only that she was happy the way she was, off in space, away from the noise and annoyance of the world around her.

        “Farrah!” Charlie snapped, fingers gripping the bridge of her nose. Fay’s head whipped over to the blonde girl, blinking as she attempted to figure out what it was Charlotte was upset about. Honestly, the brunette couldn’t see anything to be upset about at all. The world was beautiful the way it was, wasn’t it? What was there to be upset about?

        “Yes, Charlie?” Fay’s head tilted as she watched her blonde friend, utterly perplexed. It was all the more frustrating for Charlotte to know that Fay really wasn’t in the state of mind she should be. To know that Fay’s thoughts were currently more flitting than the beat of a butterfly’s wings.

        The blonde groaned, holding her head in her hands as she sat back down at the table. She gripped her skull, trying to find the patience to keep going. This was her best friend. Her best friend was lost. At least in these moments. Sometimes Fay went right back to the person she’d known for years, sarcastic and witty, a tad bitter but loving . . . What the hell had happened to that Fay?

        “I’m trying to ask what medications they’re giving you, Fay . . . Do you know the names of the medicine they’ve been giving you? I want to do some research just to be on the safe side of things, okay?” It was the best cover she had for her questions about the drugs they’d been pumping into Fay’s system. Honestly, Charlie was determined to figure it out. This couldn’t just be a random thing. Fay seemed beyond inebriated.

        And from what Optimus had told her, with the role Megatron, Malakai, had given himself in Fay’s world, he had a substantial influence on what she was, or thought she was, consuming. It was a horribly frustrating situation, considering none of the nurses knew more than Fay did because they were all her own creation. More so, Fay knew about ‘doctor-patient confidentiality’, so whenever they even tried to talk to ‘someone’ who wasn’t acting drugged, that was what they said and no more. Every door they tried to walk through was a dead end.

        “Look,” Charlie started again. “We just need to find out what they’ve got you on. Medical history and such. You know these idiots won’t keep their files straight. They’re bound to lose something or misplace it for ten years, or whatever. I want to make sure everything is taken care of properly.”

        Fay beamed at Charlie’s reasoning. “Oh! Well, I guess that makes sense. I mean, I think I’m getting excellent care, especially from Malakai, he is such a doll, isn’t he? He’s so sweet. Anyway, I um, well, I don’t really know what they have me on, Charlie. They change the actual medications often so that we don’t get addicted or start relying too heavily on any one pharmaceutical drug.” She snickered, closing her eyes. “Phar-ma-ceu-ti-cal. Isn’t that a funny word, Charlie?”

        With a sigh, Charlotte nodded. “Yes, Fay. It’s a very funny word. Do you have any idea what types of drugs they have you on? Antidepressants, anti-anxiety, sleeping pills? What? I need you to give me something, Fay! Just work with me here. Please. I’m only looking out for you and you know it.”

        Fay nodded, focusing. “I um, they have me on . . . Antidepressants, anti-anxiety, a very mild sedative, and they used to have me on a painkiller, but they stopped that one a few days ago because I didn’t hurt anymore so it wasn’t necessary. But they’re color coded and size coded so they all look the same, but they’re different ingredients all the time.” She shrugged. “All the same stuff, really. Just different technical stuff. It always does the same thing, so I don’t see why it really matters.”

        Charlie sighed, closing her eyes briefly. Optimus stood nearby, silent. He’d promised that he would allow Charlotte to do the talking today, however much he wanted to jump in and ‘help’, Charlie insisted that she would be better off talking to Fay alone. He couldn’t help but wonder what this mild interrogation process would look like if she’d allowed him to partake.

        “Is there anything else that’s significant? Something weird that they just started giving you out of the blue? Anything else that happens or has happened, that you would consider out of the ordinary? Is there anything that you find odd? Fay, why don’t you talk to me anymore? You said I’m like your sister . . . Sisters tell each other secrets . . .”

        When Charlie opened her eyes again to look at Fay, she saw a glimpse of the girl she knew and loved, that intelligence and clarity she’d been missing the last two days suddenly present again. “There’s a couple things,” Fay whispered, glancing around the room for any potential eavesdroppers -- none, unless you counted Optimus, before reaching across the table, grabbing Charlie’s hands and continuing.

        “There’s this girl named Carrie, Charlie. Redhead. Curly hair. Green eyes. Pale. She scares real easy. I scared her real bad, Charlie. I didn’t mean to, but she saw something I didn’t want her to see and I was just trying to keep her quiet, I promise. I didn’t mean for her to scare so much. I don’t know what they did with her, either, she’s just . . . Gone . . . Poof . . .” Fay lifted her hand and expanded it to demonstrate, even though it was silly.

        Charlie realized that maybe Fay wasn’t ‘all there’ right now, but it was closer than she’d been in quite a while. “All right, Fay . . .” Charlie trailed off. She didn’t understand what else Fay had been referring to as ‘a couple things’ but she intended to find out soon enough. This wasn’t over yet. “What else is there?”

        “There’s um, there’s . . .” Fay’s eyes glazed over a moment and she looked up at Optimus, staring at him for a moment, her head tilting to the side, a few strands of hair shifting. She just sat there and stared for a moment, looking utterly confused.

        “Filly?” He asked, a slight frown crossing his face. He couldn’t understand why she had derailed from the topic and was now watching him like he were the most complicated piece of artwork she’d ever encountered. It just didn’t seem right. “Is there something wrong?”

        She paused only a moment before standing, walking over to him, placing her hands on the sides of his face, then down his neck, patting his shoulders, arms, and sides of his torso. She was examining him like a breeder would examine a potential mate for their own animal, though her motivation was pure curiosity, not mating.

        “You look so . . . Out of place . . .” She murmured, looking him over, frowning. “You shouldn’t be here, should you? You should be somewhere else . . . Six feet under in a casket, right? That’s where you’re supposed to be, isn’t it?” She looked so innocent, but her words were dark and only reminded him of what trickery Megatron had managed to pull why he’d been away. He’d failed her but he was doing his best to manage some sort of damage control. However, with the way she was acting, her mind seemed to be going.

        “No, Filly . . .” He took a deep breath, gripping her wrists and pulling them from his body, looking her dead in the eye as he spoke. “I am not dead. I am very much alive. Your logic to say that I am deceased was nothing more than a dream. A very bad dream. Please forget about it and move on. I’m fine. And I’m here for you. All right?”

        Fay paused for a few moments, looking down at where his hands held her wrists, then gave a nod. “All right, Optimus . . . Thank you for coming back for me . . . You’re very sweet like that.” Immediately, she turned her attention back to Charlie, not bothering to attempt to pull her wrists from his grip. She didn’t want him to let go. She liked the feel of his hands. “Charlie . . .” She began, her voice utterly serious. Firm. Clear. This was the Fay Charlotte knew. The one she’d grown up with, the one who’d been stubborn and daring, even in the face of danger and serious consequences. “There’s shadows. And they’ve begun giving me another pill. They won’t say what it’s for, but-.”

        “Excuse me,” Malakai began, striding over, his hands behind his back, his presence obviously one of business. Charlie frowned, crossing her arms as he came towards them, and he took pleasure in her discomfort. She should be very uncomfortable, that fool of a human. Of course, that one kept coming back even when he made it quite clear that he disapproved of their presence. He’d managed to get Fay to block them out after that little illusion trick he’d played, but he couldn’t expel them personally. He had to get Fay to do it, and that wasn’t exactly an easy task. “But visiting hours are over. I’m afraid you’ll have to leave.”

        “What?” Charlie exclaimed, glaring at him. If only she could beat the hell out of him without disrupting Fay’s state of mind. If that weren’t an issue, she would’ve taught him a lesson a while ago. “We just got here half an hour ago! We’re supposed to have two hours!”

        “Check the clock again, Dear. Your time here is up. Now, you can leave by choice or I can have security escort you out. And we don’t want that, do we? You may not be allowed to come back if it becomes an issue.” Malakai had them by the throat, and they knew it. Charlie hated him quietly, not wanting to call out the person Fay had, unfortunately, come to trust and rely on so heavily in this crap hole. Charlie was ready to knock him out, too. The obnoxious, devious smirk. Charlie would more than happy to slap it off his stupidly handsome face.

        “Fine. Just one thing.” Charlie huffed and reached into the bag she’d brought along, handing Fay a large sketch pad. “I know you’re more of a writer, but I remember you dabbled in a bit of drawing and whatever a couple years ago. You know, the sketches you made to go with your poems? I thought maybe you’d like to start that up again.”

        Fay smiled, taking the pad, pulling away from Optimus at last, flipping it open and taking in the sight of each and every blank, beautifully white page before embracing Charlie tightly. “Thank you! It’s beautiful! And you are the BEST friend a girl could ever ask for. You’re wonderful, Char. Thank you so much.”

        Charlie smiled, hugging Fay back and patting her on the shoulder once they pulled away. “I thought you could use a little something for when you’re, you know, sitting around doing nothing. Because anything is better than nothing, now isn’t it?” Fay beamed, nodding.

        “Of course!” Charlie looked at Optimus, and reluctantly, the pair left the institution, leaving Fay behind. Malakai immediately confiscated the sketch pad, inspecting it for anything other than paper and the pencils Charlie had supplied to go with it. They had pencils they supplied, of course, as well as cheap pens, but Fay preferred mechanical pencils to the wooden ones. They never had to be sharpened, they never got short, and the lead never got dull. It was a win-win-win situation. Once Malakai determined it was safe, he let her take the pad and the pencils to her room, where Fay immediately set to work, sketching images for some of the poems she already had made up.

        It was going to be a busy day.

        ~~~

        FarLust stalked back into the lab, walking down the steps, glad that ShockWave was gone already. She just wanted to drift into a nice little recharge and pretend she hadn’t been forced to go back on the second chance she’d given. She threw the bow down, hating the bitter taste that had invaded her mouth and the way she was fairly certain she might never get rid of it. This was a terrible way to exist. Forced to go back on your word all because her ‘superiors’, wished differently than she did.

        ‘Hah. Superiors. I could kill them with one hand tied behind my back. Stupid mech,’ she huffed angrily, hating him. Hating his way of doing things. He operated too much on pure logic. Then again, wasn’t she supposed to be the same way?

        Far glanced over at the glowing chamber that held CatClaw. Her sibling. Her quite unusual sibling. But CatClaw had been the one to introduce FarLust to the belief of something outside pure logic and killing, hadn’t she? CatClaw had proven to FarLust that something outside the world she’d been programmed into existed. For a moment, FarLust just watched as CatClaw floated inside the energon that filled her chamber. It was something else entirely to know what it was like to be something other than what she’d always been. CatClaw knew what it was like, though she no longer held any emotional attachment to that world.

        FarLust wondered what CatClaw dreamt of, and if she experienced the same emotions she’d had before she’d become what she was now.

        A feral hiss escaped her and she whipped around, cannons blazing, as she heard a small whimpering sound. She glared at where the sound had come from, stalking around the area carefully. She couldn’t imagine what on bloody Cybertron would’ve made that pitiable noise, what would have dared venture into her territory-.

        Until she saw it. Saw him.

        BrokenWeld. Still leaking energon onto the floor, his injuries untreated and uncared for in the least. ShockWave had evidently left him to bleed out or to fix himself. Something in FarLust burned with anger at the thought, though she wasn’t sure if it was still from the shock of finding him in here, hiding in the corner, or ShockWave’s audacity and daring. How dare the scientist take such a blatant risk with someone’s spark on the line?

        FarLust huffed and grabbed a few medical supplies. ShockWave had reluctantly taught her a few things a while ago, mumbling something about how she should be capable of doing anything on the battlefield in order to preserve the lives of her comrades. More so, her siblings. She hated the scientist, and wasn’t sure she would feel any differently about any of the Decepticon race, but when it came to her siblings, she would go to the ends of Cybertron to protect them.

        BrokenWeld? He wasn’t a sibling. He was practically useless. But she pitied him, and she hated the way ShockWave treated the poor mech, so she’d patch him up, just this once. FarLust knelt in front of the bleeding and broken mech, reaching for her tools, frowning when he flinched at her grasp.

        “What the slag are you doing? I’m going to fix you, you ungrateful little parasite. Now hold still or I’ll make sure this hurts like hell.” She glared at him briefly before reaching for his arm again, holding him steady as she applied treatment. He watched her warily, gradually relaxing when she didn’t break something rather than fix it, when the pain began to cease, and when his energon began to stop flowing from his body. It was incredible, really, to think that this volatile, killing machine of a femme, was actually helping him. From what he understood, healing wasn’t a big thing in her skill set. It was more, ‘assess if something is a threat, if it’s a threat, kill it,’ kind of thing.

        But here she was, putting time and effort into making sure he was all right. More so, she was being gentle about repairing his wounds. She was careful and her touches were light when she tested something for durability.

        When she was satisfied with her handiwork, FarLust stood, taking the tools and putting them back in their proper places. “You should be fine now, ‘Weld. Get on your way now.” She stalked away from, checking on each of her siblings in their chambers. She was endlessly protective of them, always making sure that they were all fine. She wouldn’t accept any less of their well-being.

        When she’d finished making her rounds, she came back to see BrokenWeld still there, standing now, but watching her, perplexed. FarLust frowned, looking back at him, bristling slightly. “What is it, BrokenWeld? Is something still leaking? Is something still sparking? Because you should be just fine.”

        “Why . . .” He began slowly, pausing after the first word before summoning the courage to start up again. “Why did you help me . . . ?” He searched her faceplate for some sort of answer, and she gave none. She was emotionless to him, cold, matter-of-fact.

        “I couldn’t have you getting energon stains in the lab. Satisfied? Now get out of here. I’m busy.”

        BrokenWeld sprinted for her when she tried to walk away, grabbing her wrist, and she immediately turned to hiss at him, her optics a blazing shade of red. He hesitated a moment, but didn’t let go of her wrist. “Why . . . Why did you help me . . . ?” He pressed again, scared, knowing that if she so chose, she could hurt him a large amount, kill him, even. But she didn’t make a move to harm him, only glared at him, a silent threat.

        “Because I didn’t want you to die,” she growled, grinding her denta together. “Why waste a spark? I’ve already killed plenty and I’ll kill plenty more. Why not save a spark when I can?” She jerked her arm away from him, forcing his grip to release. He frowned, but didn’t reach for her again.

        “That’s the only reason . . . ?” He asked carefully, knowing he was treading dangerous ground with her right now and if he caused her to snap, she might just snap him in half. “You don’t . . . You don’t . . . Care about me . . . ?” His spark surged for a moment, then fell when her expression didn’t change. She turned away from him and stalked off, leaving him without an answer to his question. He frowned as he watched her go.

        She’d given him the gift of life, of continuing to live, but apparently once her job was done, she didn’t much care anymore. He wondered what exactly went on inside her helm, and if she would ever open up enough to let anyone see.