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Acacia/Ciarán - Age 17

Meliorist Sanctum

It feels like my body is programmed...

...because as I begin to wake up, I realize it's been quite a few days.

No one bothered to check and make sure I was okay or why I'd been asleep for so long. When I wake, I'm in my dorm room bed, not the place Lars had taken me to. Tears gather in my eyes when I come to understand everything around me, including that it's early afternoon and I can hear birds chirping outside the window.

As I sit up slowly, I glance around to see no one. I'd never been this weak before, it feels like my energy has been completely drained. The dull pain I feel is what draws my eyes to my wrists, seeing what was once dark bruises now fading away to a light green and yellow. My abdomen retains an ache that lingers, my senses finally my own as I attempt to recall what happened.

Bits and pieces flash through my mind, but nothing I can actually form a solid memory from...

...did I have sex with Lars?

I don't know what to feel...

I don't know what to do...

When I push back the covers, I glance down at the same clothes I'd been in before being taken away by Lars. While I'm not as sore so to speak, when I get out of bed and head toward the bathroom, I collapse to my knees when I reach the open door. I clutch into the doorframe as I steady my breathing, my heart racing fast while I lift my gaze to focus on the shower.

Shaking my head, glimpses of moments making me unsure if any of it was real...

...it couldn't be.

Exhaling deeply, I rise to my feet and walk carefully inside the bathroom, closing the door and locking it behind me. I step out of my clothes, fresh tears springing to my eyes when I see trace amounts of blood on my underwear and between my thighs.

It's just like the first time...

I release a sob as I choke on it, crying hard as I finally get under the warmth of the shower. The water washing everything away but my memories, and even they are sketchy at best.

I sit on the floor of the shower, curling up into a ball as I mull over everything.

Is this normal?

Is this how everything is supposed to be when I'm with someone?

I remember wanting to...

...but not wanting to at the same time.

Is that why there are bruises on my wrists?

The tears blend with the water as I turn the handle, shutting the shower off as I take my time getting dry. I change into a fresh pair of underwear and a bra, stepping into new jeans and pulling over a long sleeve shirt over my head.

I reach for the drawer under the countertop, pushing aside a few items as I reach for the handle of my brush. My fingertips touch over the raiser blade that had been used for the new application of the caulking seal along the bathroom tub base. A moment later, I clutch my brush handle and lift my chin while shutting the drawer.

My eyes flicker to the mirror of the bathroom when I go to brush out my hair, blow drying it and leaving it down. After putting everything away, I head out and down the stairs to the common room, knowing I'll be meeting with Mercury shortly at the building near the grove.

I keep to myself, fazing everyone else out around me. My arms are wrapped around me and I hardly even notice that I pass Rian while walking until I hear him ask, "Acacia?"

I halt my movements, glancing over my shoulder to see him standing still and looking at me.

My heart just wants to be loved...

...I just want to be cared for.

My appearance must shock him though because he looks me over a few times. I don't feel well and I feel so tired and weak. He even asks me, "Are you okay? You don't look well."

"Why bother talking to a liar?" My words come out uneven as I feel all the hurt from what he'd said to me.

He was right to...he had every right to be mad at me...but I'm so tired of being hurt especially when he promised to always be my friend.

Rian shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't hav-"

A weak smile makes its way onto my face before I half-heartedly laugh, "Don't be, you said it as it is."

I turn away from him, but I feel the way his eyes remain on me and I even hear him take a few steps toward me.

It's not fair.

Nothing is fair...

I stifle the tears and I no longer hear the footsteps as I continue further away. My gaze lifts to the building as I approach it, glancing around at my surroundings before I release a small sigh.

I'm early...

...but it's better than being later.

Slipping into the building and closing the door quietly behind me, I walk down the split hallway, the lights dim toward the end of the hallway before the room I've come to visit when called upon. I touch the handle of the door, faint noises meeting my ears before I open the door...

...it's not at all what I expected to walk in on.

"Yes...fuck..." Ciarán groans while my eyes widen with complete shock. My heart skips a beat at what I briefly see. Ciarán is bent over one of the tables, Mercury standing behind him as he thrusts into him...

"Don't you know how to knock, Slave?!" Mercury's voice is loud and full of anger, Ciarán's eyes locking onto me as I suddenly clap a hand over my mouth.

I'm immediately back in the hallway, pulling the door closed behind me while I sink to the floor with my back against the wall. My heart hurts while my mind is full of confusion...

...it hurts watching Mercury with someone else...when it shouldn't, but I can't help the way I feel.

Ciarán?

Why Mercury?

My heart is still beating fast as I silently sit there, trying to get a hold of my thoughts as I hear footsteps approach down the hallway. When they stop, it's because they are in front of me, seeing boots in my field of view.

Before they can say anything, the door opens and Mercury catches himself while saying, "Aca-" his voice alters though and he says, "Get inside, Cypher."

I'm still staring at the floor, my heart ready to leap from my chest as Cypher walks into the room. The door closes again, only this time, Mercury crouches down in front of me, his voice stern when he orders, "Look at me."

Slowly, I lift my chin until I see his eyes staring into mine. He furrows his brows after a moment and then asks me, "What's wrong with you?"

I shake my head while swallowing the knot at the edge of my throat and saying shakily, "I...I don't know..." as my voice trails off, I hold my arms wrapped around me and state, "I don't feel well."

"I can see that," there's something different that briefly flickers across his eyes while he asks, "Slave, what happened?"

"I-I can't remember," this time my voice breaks and I release a sob, watching the way Mercury eyes me with uncertainty.

Is what Lars did making me feel like this?

Or is it slowly the way Mercury hurts me by being with others?

Niamh.

Ciarán.

How many others?

I grit my teeth as my heart aches, shaking my head again as I drop my gaze to the floor. Mercury snorts and I lift my eyes again, watching as he draws his long sleeve shirt back and brings his wrist closer to his lips stating, "I don't want a barely functioning slave...you still need to do what is required if you." He pauses a moment and sinks his fangs into the flesh of his inner wrist, drawing it away and bringing it closer to my lips. When I turn my face away, he grabs my chin roughly and snarls, "Accept what you're given, because I won't always be this kind."

Kind?

When has he ever shown me kindness?

Not wanting to anger him further, I taste his blood and slowly, I begin to gather some of my strength back that had all but dwindled away. When he pulls his wrist away, the puncture marks healing shut, he suddenly has his lips on mine in a very rough and aggressive manner.

It doesn't matter though, because my body craves to be touched, to be wanted, to feel...something.

I kiss him back, his tongue controlling my mouth as I exhale sharply, feeling his hands on my thighs. A few minutes later of him devouring every sense and kiss I have, he pulls his lips away and I'm left feeling very conflicted, especially when he orders, "Stand, Slave."

It takes effort for me to simply rise to my feet, but when I do, he opens the door to the room and orders once again, "Inside."

After stepping past the threshold of the door, I see Ciarán and Cypher talking while Ryser sits on one of the tables. Mercury nudges me further into the room and I just feel all the fear and panic skyrocket as I'm placed in a room with all of them again. It affects me so much, that when Mercury touches my upper back, I scream and fall to my knees, tears falling down my cheeks as I plead, "Pl-Please..."

Mercury's voice is filled with amusement as he chuckles at my reaction, "On your feet, Slave."

I can't bring myself to do so, so I'm even more terrified when his hands grasp my upper arms from behind, bringing me to my feet. I struggle slightly in his grasp, the other three just laughing at how I react.

Mercury walks me to one of the chairs, forcing me into it while I glance around at them all. I jump when he sets a chair in front of me just a few feet away, settling into it before he says, "We're going to talk about a few things."

I'm silent as I'm afraid if I say anything, it will just be a way for them to hurt me.

Mercury nods at Ciarán and says, "From this point forward, you will hold your tongue at the council meetings."

It's not like me saying anything has helped the last time...I made things worse by having to defend Ciarán.

Dad...

...he was so disappointed in me.

I might be angry with him...

...but his approval means everything to me.

Mercury tilts his head to the side and looks me over before informing me, "I'm having a little get together...at the beginning of winter break, before the winter solstice meeting."

Cypher eyes me as I try to glance away from Mercury, though he's quick to bring my gaze right back to focus on him. He continues with, "There was a time when the winter solstice involved many...rituals that made others stronger and one of the occasions during the festivities, was the Starlight Dance."

I'm silently waiting for the part where I'm supposed to care because I don't know what any of it has to do with me. Ciarán is the one to state, "You're coming to this get-together, Slave."

"You're going to see others just like yourself that have given up their rights to-"

"Given up? How about, taken?!" I lash out, my mouth snapping shut a second later.

It doesn't matter if I realized my mistake too late...

...Mercury backhands me across the face and I cry out from the radiating pain in my cheek.

Mercury narrows his eyes on me the second I bring my gaze back, but his words haunt me when he declares, "I'm going to break you that night."

Am I not already?

What more can he do that he already hasn't done...?

💫--To Be Continued--💫
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