I folded myself into a fetus position on my bed, glaring at the opposite wall.

Of course, just remain silent!

I snapped within myself.

I thought you promised you would never leave!

Why do I feel so alone then?

Why aren't you responding? Did I do something wrong?

I let tears fall into my pillow, soaking it wet.

I was basically alone in this world, and Jesus had been my only source of comfort. Now, I couldn't feel Him anymore. Why was He so quiet? Had He left? It made the gaping hole within me ache so much that I wanted to just get rid of my heart.

I wrapped my arms over my stomach, trying to control the sobs that racked my entire body. At least shouldn't He tell me if I’ve done something wrong? Why would He just abandon me like this… ?

I didn't know when I slept, my heart heavy.

My eyes opened in panic. My entire body felt paralyzed, like something was pushing me down with a huge hand on my back. Panic rushed into me.

What was going on?

I tried to speak but couldn't. My body remained sprawled on the bed, frozen.

God, what is this? What is happening?
I asked in my aggravated state.

And then my eyes opened… I mean, yes, they were already open, but this … this was different. I could see past just my room.

I tried to scream at the sight of the thing holding me down,but no sound escaped. It was so huge that its head grazed the ceiling of my room. Its skin was a deep ugly blue, fangs were revealed when it opened its mouth, a black forked tongue snaked out like that of a cobra. It had only one fierce red eye, set at the center of its head.

I wanted to shout ‘Jesus!’,but my lips would not part.

Please, please, please. Jesus, please.

I repeated in my crazed mind.

Lord Jesus, please…

Suddenly, a light so bright, that I had to shut my eyes for a moment ,appeared. When I opened my eyes, it was to see the hulking figure of a man… no, not man. A man could not be that tall, nor could he have eyes that were swirling gold.

I knew what I was seeing… An angel!

He was so bulky and muscular that I was sure he could break me like one would break a broom. He wore full golden polished armor that contributed to his powerful aura. His expression was enough to make even the most powerful wrestler pee himself.

He raised a sword. The sword didn't look physical, more like sizzling electricity.

The gruesome demon holding me down shied away from the light, shrieking in pain, but refusing to let go of me.

Suddenly, the angel slashed down on the demon. A long tortured shriek followed, and it evaporated in a puff of smoke.

I finally took a deep breath. The angel lowered the sword and turned it's gaze on me. I wanted to start screaming for real.

“Fear not, Jemima." His voice was surprisingly cool and gentle in contrast to his fierceness. "The Lord showed you this to remind you that He meant it when He said He would never leave you. He has kept his angels on guard concerning you. No matter how alone you feel, believe that He is there, because He is.”

Tears fell across my face as I sat up in my bed.

I wanted to say I was sorry for doubting, but I was speechless from shock.

"Yah sees your pain, and He is with you. Just trust him.”

My vision began to fade, and then I was alone in my room, still sitting up… but I knew, I was not alone.

***
Do you feel like God has abandoned you?🥺🥺
Well, good news is He hasn't, and He never will, because He is not a man that He should lie. And He will stick to His promise. Trust and lean on Him. 🥹🥰❤️❤️