"I can bear any pain as long as it has meaning."
- Haruki Murakami

~~~~

Tay

Our family possesses several enterprises not only in Thailand but also in various regions worldwide. I am responsible for managing half of the businesses, while my father assumes control over the remaining portion. Unlike me, Joss lacks interest in business endeavours, leaving me and Gemini as the sole individuals involved. Currently, I am the one solely responsible for overseeing these enterprises. However, I find solace in this role since it allows me to find respite from my reality.

However, the esteemed "Vihokratana Hotel", is renowned as one of the top establishments in Chiang Mai. It is particularly celebrated for its vintage charm, adorned with various antique treasures, emanating a retro and polished aesthetic. Each facet of the hotel exudes a delightful ambience; as if conveying a profound message.

The lobby boasts tables crafted from fine maple, while an exquisite chandelier, concealing candles within, adorns the ceiling. Each room is secured with a traditional key, and the luxury accommodations are equipped with elegant gramophones.

Throughout its illustrious history, numerous esteemed authors have sought inspiration within these walls, penning remarkable stories. The hotel has been in operation for a significant period, even predating my grandfather's recollections. Regrettably, I find myself unable to assume the responsibility of managing this establishment.

Lost in these reveries of idyllic imagery, I made my way towards my Father's office.

Along the path, I was startled by a voice calling out to me. "Mr. Tawan? What are you doing here?"

"Oh, Niran. I am here to meet Mr. Vihokratana. What are you doing here?" I demanded instead, my forehead scrunched up.

He shrugged, carelessly. "Same thing, Sir."

"Does this have anything to do with Marco Romano?" I asked.

"Not really. Mr. Vihokratana has assigned me some tasks for the day. Is there something you require, Sir?"

My forehead furrowed with confusion. "What work?"

His hesitation was evident as he cautiously replied, "Sir... I-I don't think I'm allowed to talk about it."

With a stern tone, I reminded him, "You know the rules, Niran."

About a second later, he spoke. "Mr. Vihokratana requested that I arrange flowers and wines for an event tomorrow."

"What event?"

Avoiding my gaze, Niran quickly averted his eyes, as if he were in discomfort. "I'm not aware of that. If there isn't anything else, Mr. Tawan, I would appreciate continuing with my duties."

I shook my head, letting him go. Business was good. And I knew how important staff was to that bottom line. I kept an eye on my secretary till he disappeared through the front door.

I worked my way through the VIP section of the elevator and waited. The interior of the elevator features a warm wooden finish.

I pressed the button for the twentieth floor, and just as the doors were about to close, they opened again.

To my surprise, Namtan stepped into the elevator with a warm greeting. "Hi, P'Tay! What a pleasant surprise!"

"Namtan." I nodded in response to her greeting, and she selected the eighth floor before turning her attention back to me. The elevator hissed as it moved upwards.

The makeup, high heels and skirt made her look so sleazy. Her skirt was too short for my liking. She closed the distance between us and pulled me into a hug.

I was taken aback by her actions. What the hell does she think she's doing? How dare she touch me? I gently pushed her away, being careful not to cause any harm.

Her smile widened as she glanced at the buttons on the elevator. "Oh, are you meeting your Dad? What's the occasion?"

I shrugged, "I'm not sure. He wanted to speak with me."

She nodded understandingly, her eyes lighting up with anticipation. "P'Tay, are you available later? We could go out for a meal. It's been ages since we last-"

I curtly replied, "No, I'm not available. I have better things to do."

Her smile faltered slightly, but she quickly recovered. "That's all right. We can plan a date for another day then."

I stared at her, "What do you want?"

She winked, "Maybe we could also spend the night together like good old days."

I remained silent. Namtan tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, her confidence was evident in her demeanour.

Namtan knew she was hot and even knew how to use it against people to her advantage. But I'm not just people. Moreover, she wasn't my type.

The elevator bells ding in anticipation of arrival. We had already reached the eighth floor.

Namtan squeezed my shoulder and smiled at me. "See you later, P'Tay."

I saw her waving her hands at me till the elevator door shut again. I sighed in relief. I just wanted the day to get over soon. And whatever Dad wanted to talk to me about, I know for a fact that it's a fucked up thing. I didn't want to deal with anything as such for now, but who dares to say no to Dad? No one. Not even me.

After a lengthy silence, the elevator bells chime again, signaling my arrival. I exit the elevator, making a beeline for my father's office. As I enter, I am greeted by familiar faces, to which I offer a courteous nod.

I grasp the doorknob, the sound of my father's voice seeping through the closed door.

"Don't worry, Pong. I assure you, he will agree. I will personally ensure that."

Uncle Pong? Silence follows.

"We have accomplished a significant milestone by completing our first task ahead of schedule. So, achieving the next milestone should be a breeze."

Another pause.

"Alright then. Until we meet again, Pong."

The call concludes. I wait a few moments more before gently pushing the door open. My father is standing tall, his gaze fixed upon the distance beyond the window. He appears surprisingly youthful for someone with three children in their twenties, yet simultaneously weary and aged.

Without turning to face me, he continues to stare out the window. I clear my throat and take a seat on the sizable sofa.

Finally, he turns his attention towards me and remarks, "Ah, you are already here."

"Why? Did your personal assistant neglect to inform you?" I inquire.

He sighed audibly and fixed his gaze on me, his eyes full of scrutiny. "Tawan, I did not call you here to engage in a conflict."

I scoffed, dismissing his statement. "And who says I want that? Tell me about the purpose behind this meeting before I change my mind."

"Very well. You are to marry my friend's son."

"What the fuck!?"

He chuckled lightly. "Is it now considered trendy for your generation to use such vulgar language?"

My glare intensified. "What do you mean by marrying your friend's son? Are you joking with me?"

He sighed once more and proceeded towards his desk in the heart of the office. "I assure you, Tawan, my words are sincere. I am not joking. This is a matter of importance. It concerns our business."

"I'm straight, for fuck's sake!"

He looked at me, scrunching his eyes. "What's that?"

I groaned at his response. "I am heterosexual!"

"Oh, and how does that alter the situation? You simply would be marrying him for business purposes."

"Seriously?! Has he given his agreement?"

My Father winked. "Yes, and I assure you, he will not pose much of an inconvenience. He is, in fact, a well-behaved young man and he's pretty."

"What in the world!? You've already met him?" I turned around to face him and clenched my teeth. "I regret to inform you that I have no intentions of marrying anyone."

He examined me intently. "Could it be that you have a clandestine lover?"

I faced him, clenching my teeth in frustration. "What on earth! And Mr. Push Vihokratana, I have no intention of marrying your pretty boy."

Silently, he walked over to the small bar in the corner of the office. He poured a glass of whiskey, raising it in a toast. "You do remember that marriage is a requirement for you to rightfully inherit the Vihokratana Cartel, correct? If not, perhaps Joss would be willing to marry this young man on your behalf. Ah! That's a brilliant idea. How did I not think of it sooner?"

"Over my dead fucking body! You won't do that to Joss."

He took a sip from his glass and retrieved his phone, dialing a number. "This way, Joss would also gain a portion of the assets and be able to manage the business."

"Dad, please stop!"

But he disregarded my pleas. "Hello there. This is Push Vihokratana speaking. I would like to schedule a meeting-"

"I will marry him!"

He glanced at me and ended the call, assuring the person on the other end that he would return their call soon. He smiled, a mischievous glimmer in his eyes. "I didn't quite hear you."

I lowered my head in submission. "I will marry whomever you choose."

He chuckled. "That's the right attitude, my child."

He cannot do that to his own son. Joss desires to pursue basketball, and father understands this better than anyone. They play basketball on weekends, when he is not working. Dad is aware of how dedicated Joss is to pursuing sports.

I will not permit him to strip away that passion. I would never forgive myself if I allowed my brothers to become pawns in my father's schemes. I will protect them indefinitely.

"Do not dwell too much on it. This is your reality, Tawan. You cannot evade it."

"Why are you doing this?"

He shrugged and broke the silence. "It is for Pong. He is one of my closest friends. His family has assisted us in the past. He requires financial assistance now, and he seeks my aid. I requested something in return. And his son was a valuable acquisition."

"For Uncle Pong? I am aware of the bankruptcy his company is confronting, but I fail to understand why I must marry his son. There is more to this. What do you want, Dad?"

He chuckled heartily. "You will know when the time is appropriate. However, remember, my son, I am undertaking this for a reason. Trust that there is a purpose behind my actions."

"Don't feed me your bullshit! Those words are outdated already. It won't work with me. Furthermore, I want to emphasize that my actions are not undertaken for your sake, Father. I am doing this for Joss. I will not allow you to interfere with his life, not even in your wildest dreams!"

He smiled at me and stated, "We will be dining with Pong's family tomorrow. You will have the opportunity to meet your husband. Prepare yourself by six in the evening."

I scoffed at his suggestion. "First and foremost, he is not my husband and never will be. I will never accept him."

He slyly replied, "You have not explicitly refused either. So, I assume you will be present."

I turned away and made my way towards the exit. "Whatever the case may be, I am leaving now, Dad."

"Goodbye, my son!"

Without acknowledging anyone, I hastened towards the elevator. Each step weighed heavily on me, and walking became a challenge. My head throbbed, and I felt empty inside.

I attempted to process the events of the past few minutes. What was happening in my life? I did not have the privilege of living on my own terms. However, if I yield now, it will impact Joss's life. I cannot take such a risk.

I didn't even know his name for fuck's sake. And here I was, ready to marry him. This servile marriage is going to ruin my life. And dad's definition of good is totally different from mine. All I could think about when I reached my car was talk that boy to reject me because I cannot fathom embracing him as my life partner. I needed booze and a good sleep, as I felt anger welling up inside me. What the fuck does dad think he's doing? Maybe this would all be a bad dream when I wake up.

The problem of pain is that I cannot feel my father's, and he cannot feel mine. This, I suppose, is also the essential mercy of pain. Mom, I have so many questions.