Chapter 1

Shaw

       Beep.

       Beep.

       Beep.

       I was hating that repetitive sound I was hearing almost every single second. I hadn't even gotten any sleep because of it, because I was worried with everything going on.

       I was starting to get restless sitting on the chair, so I started pacing around the hospital room. Deep breaths, Shaw. Just take deep breaths.

       The door to the hospital room opened and I looked over to see my boyfriend's parents, Lawrence and Tara, who did not look happy to see me. "What are you still doing here?" Lawrence asked.

       "I told you, I'm not leaving until he wakes up," I said. "I don't care what you two want."

       "Well, you should," Lawrence said. "We're his parents and right now, if we don't want you here, then you shouldn't be here."

       "I'm staying," I said for what felt like the hundredth time. "Besides, who do you think Holden's going to want to see when he wakes up? His boyfriend or his parents who completely abandoned him."

       "Uh, we didn't abandon him," Tara said. "He chose to move out. That was all on his own."

       "And who's the one that made him want to move out?" I asked. "If you two were better parents to him, he wouldn't have wanted to get as far away from you two as possible."

       Neither Lawrence nor Tara appreciated me saying that, no matter how true it was. They claimed they wanted what was best for their son, but all they did was try to control his life completely. They weren't allowing him to make a single choice on his own.

       "You're one to talk," Lawrence said with clear anger in his voice. "You really think you're a better parent than we are? Remind me, who abandoned his kids a few years ago and turned to alcohol instead?"

       "Don't you dare bring my kids into this!" I said. 

       "Oh, so you can give your opinion on how we parent, but we can't do the same to you?" Lawrence asked. "Because you are definitely not an image of the world's perfect father."

       Before I could even say anything else, the door opened once again and this time, Holden's older brother Josh walked in. And thankfully he did because I was so close to losing it with Lawrence right now.

       "Are you serious?" Josh asked. "You have to argue right now when Holden is laying unconscious in a hospital bed?"

       "Josh, I know you're upset that your mother and I don't agree with Shaw and Holden dating, but you're also a doctor," Lawrence said. "So tell Shaw he has no right to be in here."

       "Actually, he does," Josh said. "Shaw is Holden's emergency contact. And you're lucky I don't ask you to leave right now for picking a fight with Shaw. Holden doesn't need this right now."

       "Holden is unconscious and can't hear anything," Tara pointed out.

       "I'm just surprised you two haven't blamed me for the accident yet, since you seem to blame everything on me," I said.

       "Shaw..." Josh said.

       "I'm going to get some fresh air," I said.

       As I left the hospital room, Lawrence called after me, "Don't expect to come back!"

       I ignored him and left the hospital to get some fresh air. However, as soon as I was outside, I started craving something that I really shouldn't. And I couldn't turn to the two people that helped me overcome it, so I pulled out my cell phone and called the one other person I know would be there for me.

       Hopefully.

       Kendra really didn't want anything to do with that dark part of my life, and I was just lucky enough that she let me see out kids once I got past it.

       I thought she wasn't going to answer, but she did at the last minute. "Hello?"

       "Kendra, are you busy right now?" I asked.

       "No, why?" she asked.

       "I-I really need someone to talk to," I said. "I'm freaking out right now and I can't talk to Holden and..."

       "Shaw," Kendra interrupted. "I'm outside of the cafe. Meet me here, okay? I'll listen to whatever it is you need to talk about."

       "Thank you," I said before hanging up.

       I really hoped talking to her would help this feeling go away. I couldn't slip back into the dark state of my life again, not after everything had been going so well. I couldn't lose a single thing I had in my life.

       I walked to the cafe where Kendra was sitting on a bench outside of it. As soon as she saw me, she got up and walked over. "Are you okay?" she asked.

       "No, I'm not okay," I said. "My boyfriend is in the hospital, his parents still hate my guts, Lawrence basically called me a terrible father for abandoning my kids a few years back, and to make things worse I am really tempted to just head over to the bar and drink my problems away."

       Kendra grabbed my hand and led me to the bench. Once we were both sitting, she said, "Shaw, you are not a terrible father. You're an amazing father to the kids, and you never abandoned them. Okay, yes, you were absent in their lives for a while, but you were recovering from your addiction and quite frankly, I'd rather you focus on your recovery before being in their lives full-time."

       "I still abandoned them," I said. 

       "No, you didn't," Kendra said. "I know you wanted to be there for them, but you couldn't. And that doesn't matter. What matters is you're here for them now. They love you a lot and they will definitely tell you how great of a father you are, so don't listen to Lawrence."

       "That's kind of hard when he's my boyfriend's dad and hates on me every single chance he gets," I said. "Pretty soon, they're probably going to say I'm the reason Holden is in the hospital."

       "How is he doing?" Kendra asked.

       I sighed. "I don't know. He's still unconscious and the doctors are still running tests on him. I don't even know when they'll have the results."

       "He'll be okay," Kendra assured. 

       I really hoped he would but right now, I wasn't so sure. He already had two injuries to his brains. If he got another one because of the accident...

       "And if you ever feel the urge to drink, please tell me," Kendra said. "I'll talk you out of it. I'm going to be here for you and make sure you don't go down that path again. And I know you're feeling down, so why don't you come with me to pick up the kids from school?"

       I smiled slightly and nodded. I rarely picked the kids up from school, unless it was one of the weekends where they were staying over at my house, and they were always so excited to see me on the days I did pick them up.

       Kendra and I headed to the school in Spruceworth and waited for it to let out. Once it did, we did have to wait a few minutes for them to come out of the front doors. Lucian and Mercy, being the older ones, always went to Castiel's class to pick him up before the three of them left the school together.

       As soon as they walked outside, they saw both me and Kendra standing there and, not to brag, they were more excited to see me.

       "Dad!" they all said before rushing over and giving me a hug.

       "What are you doing here?!" Mercy asked.

       "I was out with your mom when she had to pick you up, so I came along," I said.

       "Look what Mercy and I made during art time," Lucian said as the twins held up what looked like to be a card. "They're get well soon cards for Holden. Can we see him?"

       They both looked so hopeful and I really hated turning them down, but I would rather not them see him when he was still unconscious. "Now isn't a good time," I said. "But as soon as we wakes up, I'm sure your mom will be more than fine bringing you to the hospital to see him."

       "Of course I will," Kendra said.

       "I wanted to make a card for Holden too," Castiel said with a pout on his adorable little five-year-old face.

       "You can make one when we get home while we wait for Holden to wake up," Kendra said. "And I promise as soon as your dad calls, we'll go together so see him."

       "Okay!" Castiel said, his pout turning into a smile.

       "I'm actually going to head back there right now," I said.

       "Alright," Kendra said. "Call me as soon as he wakes up. Or if you have any update on him."

       "I will," I said before crouching down so I was at the same eye level as my kids. "And I'll see you three later."

       They all gave me a hug before we went off in opposite directions. I was hoping Holden would be awake by the time I got back, but I knew Josh, or any of the doctors, would have called me to inform me since I was his emergency contact.

       When I got to the hospital, I headed to Holden's hospital room, and I wasn't surprised when Lawrence walked out. "You're not going in to see him," he said.

       "Why do you keep acting like you can stop me or have any authority over it?" I asked. "I'm his boyfriend and I have every right to visit him."

       "Parents get rights first," Lawrence said.

       "This isn't a competition," I said. "You don't see me telling you not to visit Holden. There shouldn't be a problem with both of us visiting him at the same time."

       I actually did have a problem with it but I was at least trying to be the bigger person.

       With Lawrence, it was quite challenging because he was as stubborn as could be.

       The door to Holden's hospital room opened and this time, his grandmother Niamh stepped out. When she saw me, she said, "Shaw, is that you? I haven't seen you in years! How are you?"

       "I'm good," I said, giving her a smile.

       "Did you come here to visit Holden?" she asked and I nodded. "Well, come on in."

       Lawrence didn't bother protesting, and I knew why. Niamh didn't know I wasn't just a family friend; I was also dating her grandson.

       When we all walked back into the hospital room, Tara glared at me when Niamh wasn't looking and I tried my best to ignore it.

       "I didn't know you and Holden were close," Niamh said to me. "Yes, you are a good family friend, but he did spend a lot of time in boarding school."

       Mostly out of spite towards Lawrence and Tara, I was going to tell Niamh the truth. "Well, actually, we--"

       I was cut off Holden suddenly woke up with a startle. Since Tara was the closest, she was first one by his side. "Holden, are you okay?" she asked.

       "Where's Shaw?" Holden asked, so I immediately went over to him.

       "Hey," I said, gently resting my hand on his cheek. "Are you okay?"

       "Yeah," Holden said. "Yeah, my head just hurts a lot."

       "We're glad you're okay," Lawrence said. "We were really worried about you."

       "For once," Holden said.

       "Don't start with that now," Tara said. "We really are glad you're okay." She then looked at Lawrence. "Why don't we head down to the cafeteria?"

       Lawrence nodded and after they left, Niamh walked closer to the hospital bed. "Hello, Holden," she said with a warm smile.

       "Grandma, what are you doing here?" Holden asked.

       "I came down for a visit, of course," Niamh said. "It is your birthday soon, after all. I just wish the visit wouldn't start off with you laying in a hospital bed. Now, tell me, is this young fella here just a friend for you?"

       "He's my boyfriend," Holden said.

       "Ah, I knew it," Niamh said. "And a good thing too. You're only allowed to date someone who will treat you well and I know Shaw of all people will."

       Holden snorted. "Try telling that to Mom and Dad."

       Niamh looked a bit confused so I spoke up. "Long story short, they now hate my guts and Holden lives with me."

       "They don't approve of it?" Niamh asked. "Well, looks like I'm going to give them a stern talking to."

       "You can try, but don't expect much of an outcome," Holden said. "Trust me."

_______________

lol the first chapter is already very drama-filled woo.

AND YAY I'M SO HAPPY TO FINALLY GET THIS POSTED SINCE I COULDN'T DO IT YESTERDAY. lol.

To clarify two things: 1) Niamh is pronounced Neeve. Took me years to figure that out lol. And 2) Chapter 2 will be what actually be what led up to Holden being in the hospital. I was going to start off with that, but I felt like it would have been more effective to start off with him already in the hospital.

YAY FOR DRAMA AND YAY FOR SHOLDEN GIFS:

i love them lol and now i'm sad because my son harry is in prison. SERIOUSLY FREE MY SON HARRY.

i'm planning to take a little trip to hollyoaks to sort things out? ANYBODY WANNA JOIN?

ps. i'm also taking a trip to spruceworth soon so don't be surprised if a character appears and seems a lot like me i mean what???

I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS BOOK EVEN THOUGH I'M GOING TO PULL AT YOUR HEART STRINGS.