(Ocs credit to Alice_d3mon)

Slash, banging on the door: "Glitcher! Open up!"

Glitcher: "Well, it all started when I was a kid..."

Lovesick: "No, he meant-"

G!Luv: "Let him finish."

___

Slash: "You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?"

Glitcher: "Only the ambulance ride to the hospital."

Slash: "That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you."

Glitcher: "But I heard a siren."

Lovesick: "That was G!Luv."

G!Luv: "Sorry, I got nervous."

___

Slash: "I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?"

Lovesick: "Put spaghetti in it."

Slash: "I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you."

G!Luv: "Put spaghetti in it."

Slash: "I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two."

Glitcher: "Put spaghetti in it."

Slash: "I am no longer taking suggestions."

___

Slash: "Where's Lovesick?"

Glitcher: "Don't worry, I'll find them."

Glitcher, shouting: "Glitcher sucks!"

Lovesick, distantly: "Glitcher is the best person ever! Fuck you!"

Glitcher: "Found them."

___

Slash: "You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos."

Glitcher: "That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard."

Lovesick: "But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?"

G!Luv: "Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day."

___

G!Luv: "A pessimist sees a dark tunnel."

Glitcher: "An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel."

Lovesick: "A realist sees a freight train."

Slash: "The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks."

___

Glitcher: "I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-"
Lovesick: "A doll."
G!Luv: "A cinnamon roll."
Slash: "A sweetheart."
Glitcher: "..."
Glitcher: "...stop it."

___

Slash: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff. * "Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?"

Glitcher: "Bold of you to assume I was born at all."

Lovesick: "I personally was created in a lab."

G!Luv: "I just straight up spawned lol."

___

G!Luv: "There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet."

Glitcher: "..."

Lovesick: "..."

Slash: "..."

Everyone Else At G!Luv's Surprise Birthday Party: "..."

Glitcher: "All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first."