by fairyofspringdays on ao3

Yeonjun knew Taehyun was in love with Kai on a late Friday night in their sophomore year.

He had invited Taehyun, Beomgyu, Yunjin, and Wonyoung over to his dorm for a late-night hangout. He had tried to invite Soobin too but he was already asleep by the time Yeonjun called, and Kai couldn't come because of the exact reason they were there—the stress of completing assignments.

The college professors have unleashed all hell upon all students these past few days—i.e., given them many more assignments than feasible. The English professor especially seems to hate all of them. Everyone was eagerly awaiting the weekend. Yeonjun didn't have to say more than "Do you want to come over tonight?" before Taehyun, an English major, was already agreeing despite not drinking often.

The five of them sat in a circle on Yeonjun's dormitory floor. Yeonjun's roommate Changbin was already sound asleep with a sleeping mask and a noise-cancelling pair of headphones on, so Yeonjun was sure he wouldn't mind the Chase Atlantic playlist he had put on at low volume. It had started raining outside—thank God they all live in the same dorm building—and thunder was crackling lightly.

Wonyoung was in the middle of telling a story about her friend from high school when the thunder outside started getting louder.

Beomgyu glanced outside the small window. "Doesn't look like that's going to stop any time soon."

Yeonjun hummed. He glanced at Taehyun.

He seemed to have gotten restless. He stared outside the window, changing positions every 2 minutes.

Was he scared of the thunder? Yeonjun doesn't think so. When he is with Beomgyu, Soobin, and Kai, he never seems to mind the thunder. He always seems more focused on Kai than anything else.

Taehyun's phone rang loudly.

He picked it up in haste. He went to the corner of the room to talk in peace just as Wonyoung continued her story, so Yeonjun couldn't hear him.

Taehyun looked worried, though.

"And then, he told me he wanted to propose to her."

"Didn't you say they were sixteen?" Yeonjun gasped.

Wonyoung shrugged. "Boys."

"Hey, guys."

Yeonjun and Wonyoung looked up at Taehyun, griping his phone tightly as he put his coat back on. "I need to get back to my dorm."

"So soon?"

"Oppa, it's 1 am."

"Oh."

Taehyun closed his phone and put it in his pocket, smiling apologetically at Yeonjun. "Kai called me. I need to get back."

It was only once he was already out the door that Yeonjun remembered that Kai was afraid of thunder.

Yunjin and Beomgyu didn't notice him leave, engaged in an animated conversation. Wonyoung, though, gazed at the door Taehyun just walked through.

She turned to Yeonjun. "Is Kai his boyfriend?"

"What?"

"Kai." She gestured vaguely. "The one he was just talking to on the phone."

"Oh, yeah. I mean no. I don't think so."

Wonyoung hummed. "He looked very worried."

That he did. This night was supposed to be for him to relax but he abandoned it all just for Kai. Yeonjun wouldn't do that for just anyone, to be honest. He wanted a night of comfort too.

But the way Taehyun put Kai before himself without expecting anything in return was...

It made sense. This was Taehyun, Kai's best friend since they were 13. Thinking back on all their interactions, Yeonjun is shocked it took him this long to figure out.

That was when Yeonjun knew, Taehyun was in love with Kai.

2.

Beomgyu knew Taehyun was in love with Kai when they were hanging out at the arcade after school.

This had been routine for the three when they were young. Each weekend, they would hang out at the arcade near their middle school. Recently, they have picked up the habit again with the arcade near their college. They must've played every game in the place 3 months after the re-start of this routine.

So many games, but all three of them are in agreement that the claw machine is the worst.

And yet, they're still here, trying to beat the wretched thing. All the other games are tempting to go play instead, but Kai won't rest until he gets the pink Molang plushie sitting in there.

Kai watched as Beomgyu tried his luck on the plushie for the hundredth time. "Google says these machines are often rigged by the arcade owners, especially in Korea," Taehyun chimed in, looking up from his phone. Beomgyu whined in response but didn't pay much mind—he was so close to winning.

At the last moment, the claw dropped the plushie just an inch away from the prize chute.

Beomgyu yelled out loud. "I swear, you little fu—"

"Language!"

"Can I try next?" Kai asked, coming face-to-face with the machine when Beomgyu moved out of the way. He might be the worst one out of them—at least Beomgyu won three times. Kai never did.

Kai pushed the joystick around, targeting the Molang plushie. The two watched him intently—yes, even Taehyun—waiting to see if...

Yep, he dropped it.

Kai let out his dolphin scream as the claw dropped the toy again. He looked frantically in his pocket, searching for a coin.

As Beomgyu laughed at the scene in front of him, his eyes fell on Taehyun.

He looked at Kai in awe. Kai hasn't even succeeded yet, but Taehyun is already mesmerized by him, looking at him with sparkly eyes.

With such love and adoration in those eyes, it's hard to believe that it's nothing more than platonic.

That was when Beomgyu knew, Taehyun was in love with Kai.

3.

Soobin has always known Taehyun was in love with Kai.

He's known them the longest, meeting Kai back when he tutored his sister and they got into talking about anime together.

When Kai first introduced him to Taehyun, he already knew. The kid couldn't take his eyes off Kai. It got more obvious as time went on, when Taehyun—for all his tsundere tendencies—proudly announced his affection for Kai every time the chance arose. Kai took it as a joke, Taehyun also took it as a joke, but Soobin knew better.

In the present day, the three of them sit outside a restaurant, eating their food. At least, that's what Soobin is doing. Taehyun and Kai are leaning together, whispering and giggling about God knows what. Honestly, this is the norm of how it is to be around Tyunning.

Kai stood up. "I'll be right back, I need to use the washroom."

Taehyun nodded, smiling fondly as he watched Kai leave.

Everyone knew Taehyun was in love with Kai. Everyone, but Taehyun himself, and the object of his affections.

"You're in love with Kai," Soobin stated. Not a question. It was just a fact of nature. The sky is blue, the grass is green, pigs can't fly, and Taehyun is in love with Kai.

Instead of laughing it off, or denying it, or whatever else Soobin was expecting, Taehyun simply nodded. "Yeah, I am."

Soobin blinked. "You know?"

"Well of course I know, it's almost as if I'm the one in love," Taehyun sassed.

"Everyone's under the impression you don't know." Soobin shrugged. "Why haven't you told him?"

"Because he doesn't like me like that," Taehyun said like it's obvious.

"You never know until you try."

Taehyun brushed him off, taking another spoonful of his ice cream cup. Soobin huffed. Trying to get more information to convince him, he prompted Taehyun, "When did you realize you love him?"

That caught Taehyun's attention. He put his spoon down, leaning back in his chair, thinking.

When did Taehyun know he was in love with Kai?

+1.

Taehyun knew he was in love with Kai a late winter night in freshman year.

They weren't roommates in freshman year. Taehyun had to practically beg his RA to make them roommates the next year, but that's a story for another time.

Jungwon was nice and usually kept to himself. Taehyun would probably be closer to him if he hadn't been so focused on Kai during their freshman year.

Kai had just recently joined the dance club. It's where he met Yeonjun, the dance team captain. The team required a lot more time and energy than he expected. He knew it would be hard—it's dance, after all—but he didn't think it would be time-consuming to the point of taking away his alone time and, most importantly, Taehyun time.

Taehyun isn't co-dependent by any means, definitely not, but the lack of Kai in his life affected his mood more than he liked to admit. It was to the point that, as he told him later, Jungwon was mildly fearful of him. Kai couldn't meet him for more than spending lunch together, and it upset Taehyun.

It's just that— Taehyun likes to be around Kai, okay? Maybe more than healthy for a friend.

But Taehyun swallowed his thoughts down. He stuffed them to the dark corner of his heart carrying feelings he would never let out. He doesn't want to bother Kai when he seems so stressed all day but still makes time for Taehyun every day.

But stuffing the feelings away didn't make them disappear. The dam broke when one day, Kai texted him that he couldn't make it for lunch.

Sitting at the corner of a mildly populated table, Taehyun stared and stared at the message until his vision grew blurry. He blinked, two tears slipping down his cheeks. He cringed.

Here's the worst thing about crying—once you start, there's no stopping. Taehyun stood up as fast yet as discreetly as he could, slipping out of the cafeteria before anyone could see his tears.

Jungwon might be at the dormitory if he goes back and he is not taking that chance, so he does what any logical teenager with emotions would do—lock himself in a bathroom stall.

He's sitting in the bathroom, crying because his best friend has his own life. Truly the rock bottom.

He made it through the rest of the day in a daze. Once his classes were over, he sat in the library just to pass the time. He stayed there for hours, idly looking through the books, picking one and just leaving it on the desk as he drowned in his thoughts.

Hours later, it's 10 pm and the librarian has been giving him dirty looks for a while. The library is empty except for a few seniors with eyebags under their eyes. The sky outside is dark, and Taehyun's eyes ache when he blinks. He barely registers his hunger.

Taehyun reluctantly leaves the library. His legs hurt too after sitting in one position for so long. Fuck, he can't believe he let himself spiral so out of control just because Kai couldn't spend time with him for one day. Maybe he should revisit the co-dependency theory.

He glances at his phone. He has a couple of texts from Soobin and Kai but he doesn't check them. He just wants to sleep.

When he enters his dorm, it's completely dark. He turns on the light and Jungwon pops out of the blanket he was covered under.

"Hello sunbae," Jungwon greeted, "Kai sunbae left some food for you."

Taehyun paused.

True to his words, a bag of what smelled like ramen and beef takeout was resting on top of Taehyun's bed. He opened the bag, slowly taking out all the containers, the growling in his stomach more persistent than ever.

Taehyun opened the ramen container, slurping the first bite. Thank God Jungwon went back under the blanket, because Taehyun ate like a starved lion after the first bite. He is never skipping a meal again.

Only once he was done did he notice the note attached to the bag.

soobinnie hyung said you didn't make it to lunch today, so I brought some for you ( ⌒ o ⌒ ) eat well hyunie~

— Kai ♡

And call him dramatic. Call him sentimental. But the tear ducts opened once more reading that note. He can't believe he ever doubted his angel baby.

That was when he knew, he would never be able to live without Kai. Not now, not ever.

And that was when he knew, Taehyun was in love with Kai.

+

Soobin watched Taehyun eat a spoonful of his melted ice cream, pondering on the story told to him.

"You knew you loved Kai because he got you food?" Soobin asked.

"No. It was more because of, you know, because I would've missed lunch and dinner if not for him. I knew I couldn't live without him."

"Huh." Soobin leaned back in his chair, staring up at the blue sky.

They sat in comfortable silence for a bit, waiting for Kai to arrive.

"I'm back," Kai announced, taking his seat beside Taehyun again.

Taehyun's eyes lit up as soon as Kai spoke. Yeah, he's down bad.

When they parted ways with Soobin, Kai was quieter than usual, but he still responded well when Taehyun talked, so he didn't think much of it.

Taehyun cooked dinner that night. He worked fast like usual, going from one corner of the kitchen to another in a flash.

What wasn't usual was Kai standing in the kitchen with him, observing.

Taehyun turned his head slightly and caught Kai staring, seeming mesmerized.

"You're staring."

"You're beautiful."

Taehyun's always loved the feeling of being in love. Whether or not Kai returns his feelings, Taehyun knows Kai loves him. He is loved, and it is enough.

Taehyun grinned, prepared to tease him, turning off the stove and turning to face him.

Kai has gotten closer now. His ears are redder than they were just a moment ago as he gazes at Taehyun, a little lost.

"Since when did you get so cheesy?" Taehyun tried to sound teasing but it came out breathless as he tried to slow down his racing heartbeat.

Kai's expression changed. "Taehyun, I..."

Kai looked away, like he couldn't bear looking into his eyes. "I don't know if— if you meant what I thought you did, but I can't go on without knowing anymore."

He gulped. Taehyun just stared.

"I love you."

There are a million ways to interpret those words. People say that phrase to everyone they love—friends, family, lovers, celebrities, siblings, pets. There's love in everything, albeit in different ways.

But there's no other way to interpret Kai's words. Not when there's desperation in Kai's eyes, his ears red, his hands fisting his sweater for courage.

That was when Taehyun knew, Kai was in love with him, too.

He gripped the front of Kai's sweater and kissed him.

When he pulled away, he didn't want to open his eyes. If this is all a dream, let him live a little longer in the moment.

But the thumb coming to stroke his bottom lip can't be a dream. This is real.

Kai was staring at him when he opened his eyes. Impulsively, Kai leaned in to kiss his cheek, a touch so featherlight that Taehyun barely felt it. It was so Kai it made Taehyun giggle out loud, especially seeing the flush spread to Kai's cheeks.

"Hey," Kai whined, but he couldn't stop smiling. Taehyun just shook his head.

"You're so cute, oh my God, what am I going to do with myself? I love you so much." The words slipped out so easily, but Taehyun didn't regret saying them. He's waited so long.

Kai's smile turned into something softer. From ecstatic, to fond. "I love you too."

And that was when they knew, Taehyun and Kai were in love with each other.

♡

"So, how much of it did you hear?" Taehyun asked once they settled down in his bed, beef, and kimchi sitting in front of them.

Kai hummed. "Just the last part. When Soobin asked if you liked me because I brought you food. What was that about by the way?"

"Just the story of how I realized I loved you. Wanna hear it?"

"Is that even a question?"

Taehyun narrated the story to him too. Kai frowned when he told him how horrible of a day he had.

"If I had known you were having such a bad time, I would've showed up at your dorm myself," Kai said.

Taehyun tilted his head, smiling softly. "That's exactly why I love you."

He was really enjoying making Kai blush like that.

"What about you? When did you realize it?"

Kai promptly answered, "It's my favorite memory ever, to be honest." He didn't even have to think about it.

+1.

Everyone has their bad days and good days. That day was Kai's good day.

He woke up early, for no particular reason. Kai took the time to apply face cream and choose an outfit he liked—a soft purple sweater. Taehyun was already out with his friends so Kai went to the cafeteria for breakfast, then took a walk around campus before classes. It was cathartic, walking as he listened to an instrumental playlist.

His alone time has really taken a hit over the years, but that day, he admired the greenery and groups of friends all over the campus as he gave his thoughts time to calm down, to collect themselves.

His classes went well, too—he was determined to keep today his happiest day in a while. He had a shitty week, but a new Monday, a new week, a new him. He deserves to make himself the center of focus for once.

After classes, he hung out with his music production friends. Like, really hung out, going out to a mall together to try on stupid shit because they had nothing better to do, for once. Exams have been kicking everyone's ass but finally, they are over, and Kai can have fun with them like always. As the day ends, they say their goodbyes.

The sky is a darker shade of blue as night starts to fall on the city. Kai felt good today, so good. He stopped by a convenience store to pick up Taehyun's favorite ramen brand.

Kai expected to see Taehyun when he returned, but he wasn't back yet. He put the ramen on the kitchen counter with a note and sat down on the couch.

He turned on the TV and put on a K-drama recommended to him by Beomgyu. He ended up falling asleep not even halfway through. The couch was just so comfortable, and channeling his extrovert energy all day, no matter how fun, was tiring.

He woke up to a weight settling beside him. He opened his eyes slowly, and before he knew it, he had an armful of Taehyun.

Taehyun looked at him. "Hi."

"Hi," Kai whispered back, reaching his hand to stroke Taehyun's hair, watching as his eyes fell shut, way too reminiscent of a cat melting into his embrace.

That day was what Kai would describe as the perfect day. Taking care of himself, being with his friends, and ending the day with Taehyun in his arms.

Kai let his hand fall limp, pulling Taehyun closer—well, as much closer as he could—and he knew, with a sense of finality and contentment, that he would love to wake up with Taehyun this way for the rest of his life.

And that was when Kai knew, he was in love with Taehyun.