Nolan: *tears in his eyes, screaming at Lou* Michael is my best friend!

*A few chapters later*

*Michael tears open a letter*

Dear Sir:

This notice is to bring to your attention that Lou has resigned from his current role as villainous psychopath. Your number has been randomly selected from the pool of registered forms in the event that a replacement be needed. The recipient of this letter shall henceforth assume the title of villainous psychopath, along with all responsibilities that it carries. Failure to comply may result in punishment by law.

We thank you for your cooperation.

Michael: Ah, shoot. *pulls out knitting needle* Off to work.