Tabeer halted in her steps as she spotted both Usaam and Arham in the distance, their figures small from so far away. Her breath caught in her throat, and Zari, alarmed, turned back to her friend. curious.

"What's wrong?"

Tabeer put up a hand, a silent indication that it was nothing serious. She then placed another on her chest and leaned against a nearby tree in the dimly lit park. "I can't breathe."

"Take deep breaths. Tabs. Deep breaths."

Once Tabeer's heart had stopped palpitating in her chest, she gestured for them to continue. 

As they neared the two boys, Arham took long strides towards Zari and Tabeer turned her head away as the two embraced, her existence withering out of embarrassment. She stepped away from the two, giving them their much needed space as they whispered sweet words to each other in the darkness of the park.

"Tabeer?" Usaam questioned, taking a step closer to where her recoiled frame stood. "Are you okay?"

A shaky sigh escaped Tabeer's lips, and she slowly shook her head. "I'm not."

"I have water in my car, should I get some for you?"

"No, it's fine."

Tabeer's eyes grazed over Arham and Zari, who stood under a tree a few feet away. Zari's laughter used to procure a heartfelt du'a within her for her friend's lifelong happiness and contentment, but today, it stung in her ears.

Tabeer pursed her lips as the wind blew over her skirt, framing the layers. 

Every cell in her body was hyperaware of Usaam a few feet away, and even though Tabeer hadn't glanced at him once all this time, she knew he was as much muddled in nerves as she was.

"Listen," Zari's high-pitched voice reached their ears, and Tabeer looked up with hope, expecting to hear a 'I'm done, let's go home', and silently sent a prayer of gratitude up for now she'd finally get to go home, crawl under her covers and close her eyes to this grueling world.

"Usaam, you've brought your car, haven't you?" Zari questioned.

"Yes," Usaam answered, and Tabeer willed her heart to stay chained within.

"Great," Zari grinned. "Me and Arham want to get McFlurries."

Tabeer's brows creased in a mixture of shock and fury, and she grabbed Zari's arm and dragged her away from the two boys, not missing how Usaam's gaze was fixed on her the entire time.

"We were supposed to go home!"

Zari freed herself of Tabeer's hold. "I'm seeing Arham after two months, how can you expect me to be satisfied with just twenty minutes?"

"Then let me go home."

"Tabeer, just this once. And never again."

Tabeer averted her gaze, tears pricking the corners of her eyes.

She now understood the underlying meaning behind her mother's words. That if you loved someone, you had to make sure you loved them for Allah's Sake and Allah's Sake only, so when they stood up in disobedience against him, you'd still be able to nurture the strength to let them go. 

And Tabeer did not love Zari for His sake. 

She loved Zari for Zari's sake, because she could not abandon her friend when she missed her boyfriend, she couldn't pull herself out of this girl's world when she proclaimed she was about to commit zina. 

She couldn't think of her own best interests, because she was too preoccupied in Zari's.

Tabeer closed her eyes and with thunderous bolts raking her existence, she allowed herself to once again fall helpless before her bestfriend. 

And as Usaam got into the driver's seat of his car and Tabeer in the passenger seat while Zari and Arham climbed into the back, and as they stopped for McFlurries—which Tabeer politely declined—and Usaam dropped the couple off at a park other than the one closest to Zari's house because they did not want to be caught, Tabeer blinked back her tears.

Because she wished for nothing more than for the ground to swallow her whole.

— ❖ —