***So there were two songs I really wanted to go with this chapter.  The first one is posted to the right.  The second is 'A Thousand Years' by Christina Perri.  They both fit the chapter so well, so if you can, please play 'Let Me Love You' first and then find 'A Thousand Years' to play next.  Anyone who knows my work, knows that the pairing of the writing, the music and even the attached photos are important to the chapter.

***However, for the full effect, please wait until I tell you to start playing the song.

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Chapter 19

Nico

I met Ajax at the dock at 8:30 the next morning.  I had texted him for a ride into the office since I'd lent my car to Finn and I would make arrangements to pick it up later in the day. 

I thought about last night.  I certainly couldn't blame Finn.  It was a lot to take in and as independent as he'd become in the last few years, I was sure he saw this as undermining that.  Once a Dom, always a Dom.

I let out a big sigh.

"What's up with you this morning bro?" Ajax asked.  I thought about not telling him, just making something stupid up, but I didn't want to be that way with anyone I'm close to anymore.  I'd made a lot of mistakes in the past, most of them with Finn, but some with my brother too.

"I told Finn about the trust fund and Juntado last night.  I wanted to be honest, up front, he deserves to know the truth before making any sort of decision about us, or if there's even an us."

"Really?  Well I agree.  He deserves to know the truth.  How'd he take it?"

"We were at my place…we kissed again, and I wanted to tell him before it went any further…"

"And…"

"He left.  He said he needed to think…I mean, I don’t blame him.  It was a lot to take in."

"But he didn't freak out?  Yell, scream?"

"No.  He just left.  He didn't have his car so I let him take the Jag."

"You let somebody drive your car?  Your new Jag?  Man, you've got it bad."  Ajax sat there chuckling and I found myself getting annoyed.  This wasn't a laughing matter.  When he looked my way and saw my glare he quickly cleared his throat and put on a serious face.  "Sorry," he mumbled.

I looked out the window, deep in my thoughts, replaying the scene over and over, but I still concluded that I did the right thing.

"He'll come around Nico, you know Finn.  He's very rational, very level-headed.  He'll think about it and he'll understand why you did what you did."

I didn't feel like answering so I left it at that and we didn't discuss it any further for the rest of the ride.  Our morning at the office was filled with meetings and a teleconference with a client in Japan.  When I headed back to my office, one of the executive assistants on our floor stopped me. 

"Mr. Salazar."

"Yes…Marg…"

"Eileen."

"Sorry, yes Eileen."

"A young man stopped by to drop these off," she said as she picked up my keys from her desk.  "You were in the conference call, so…"

"Next time interrupt me," I barked. "If Mr. Jennings stops by or calls you interrupt me no matter where I am, do you understand M..Eileen?"

"Yes, Sir.  I'm sorry."

"Did he say anything when he dropped them off?"

"Just that he'd call you later."

"Thank you."  I took the keys from her outstretched hand, tucking them into my pocket.  I walked into Ajax's office next to mine.  "Do you need me this afternoon Jax?"

"No, I'm good.  You had enough for one day?"

"Yeah, I need to take off.  I'll check in with you later."

"Do you need a ride anywhere?"

"No, Finn dropped off my car while we were on the conference call."  Ajax just nodded.  I went into my office and grabbed a few things.  As I headed down to the parking garage I loosened my tie, pulling it off once I had the tight Windsor knot apart.  I put it in the pocket of my jacket and threw them both on the passenger seat as I sat down.  I honestly didn't have a destination in mind until I realized I was driving in the direction of Finn's apartment.  Or so I tell myself.

My legs were on automatic as I took the stairs up to his apartment and my hand was knocking the door before I could think twice.  It didn't take long before it swung open.

"Hi.  Can I help you?"

A shirtless man about Finn's age was standing at the door.  Tall, broad shoulders, tan skin a shade or two darker than my own and dark brown hair. 

"Hello?" He asked as I stood unable to say anything.

Finally I got myself together.  "Is Finn here?"

"No man, sorry.  He went to take Liam home.  I can tell him you stopped by…or you can wait."

"And you are?"

"Thomas."  He stuck out his hand politely and I numbly shook it.  "Come on in, you look like you need to sit down," he said with a chuckle.  I followed him in and looked around, for what I didn't know.  I was trying to keep my brain from going into overdrive.  Just then the door to the bathroom opened and a towelled figure came out.  It took me a moment to recognize him with a towel on his head.

"Chris." 

"Oh…Nico...Nicolas…Mr. Salazar…Umm…hi?"

"I didn't know you were in town, I think Finn mentioned you were coming to the show in a few weeks."

"I didn't know you were in town either…"  Chris had a mix of confusion and disapproval.

"Oh, you're…" Thomas started.

"Nicolas.  Nicolas Salazar."

"Okay guys, I'm back…"  Finn walked in.  "Wow…the gang's all here…"  I turned around and Finn gave me a…shy smile?

"I'm sorry, I should have called first," I said.

"No, I'm glad you're here.  I wanted to see you earlier, but you were in some meeting or call or something."  We just kind of looked at each other for a few minutes, both of us forgetting Chris and Thomas, who were staring open-mouthed.

"Listen," Finn started, "I wanted to continue our conversation from last night.  I'm sorry it got…derailed."  He looked over at the other two.

"Uh…Thomas, why don't we go get dressed in the bedroom," Chris suggested.

"Yeah, okay, good plan babe."   The two walked into Finn's bedroom and closed the door.

"They arrived last night, just after I got home," Finn said once they left.  "To be honest, I was on my way back to see you when they showed up."

"You were?"

"Yeah.  I wanted to tell you I understand…it's okay."

"You did?"

"Yeah," he smiled.  That Finn, drop dead gorgeous, blue eyes sparkling, dimpled cheek smile.

"Do you want to…umm…have dinner or something?" He asked nervously.

"What about…" I gestured my head towards the bedroom.

"Ah, they're fine on their own.  They'll be here for a few weeks, until after the show.  They know I'm not babysitting them the whole time.  It's what they get for showing up 2 weeks early without so much as a call."

"Do you want me to make a reservation at…"

"Can we just eat in…at your place?" Finn interrupted.  My eyebrows raised in…surprise?

"Sure."

"I need to take a shower…but I wanted to give Chris and Thomas my car, will you wait or…"

"Why don't I go pick up a bottle of wine and a few other things and I'll pick you back up in say…an hour?"

"Perfect."

"Okay, then…in an hour."

"In an hour," he repeated.  I went to walk by him towards the door, but he reached out and grabbed my arm, leaned over and gave me a very light kiss, barely brushing his lips against mine.  Oh f-ck, I thought to myself as my dress slacks suddenly were getting tight.  As soon as he let go I let myself out.

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(***Start playing the song) 

Finn

Talked to Chris.  Check.  Well, it took some explaining and telling him that he just had to trust me, but he was okay with it.  Thomas helped, not knowing much of the history, he basically told Chris to chill out and Chris basically is so in love with Thomas that he'd do anything he says.

Long hot shower.  Check.

Threw a few things in my messenger bag.  Check.

Called Liam and told him I needed to take the next morning off.  Check.

I don’t know what I'm doing.  Flying by the seat of my pants, but...  It feels right.  When Nico texted me that he was on his way back, since I was ready I just waited outside in front of my building. 

I don't even remember what we talked about on the way to the marina, nothing important, nothing too taxing.  Dinner was almost a blur, I think it tasted good, but all I could do was watch Nico's lips as he took a bite off his fork, or the way his jaw muscles moved as he chewed and swallowed.  The sound of his voice as he tried to make normal conversation when I'm pretty sure his head was in the same place as mine.

After dinner Nico cleared the dishes, placing them on the cart which he rolled out to the deck for the steward to pick up.  Just like old times.  When he came back in I was at the sliding glass door looking out at the moon shining on the water, sipping my white wine.  I'd mostly been drinking the glass of water Nico had also poured me because I didn't want any of my senses dulled tonight.

He came up behind me, but not close enough to touch.  I turned around and handed him my wine glass.  He brought it into the kitchen and placed it on the counter.  When he returned I just took his hand and led him to his bedroom.  It was almost like that first day, just a few days ago, that I saw him again.  He hesitated and I had to pull him along.  We hadn't spoken any words in several minutes and they didn't seem necessary.  There were no words.

When we reached his room I turned around, stepping into his space.  His expression was mixed; his eyes shone with an emotion so strong; love.  His lips were parted in uncertainty.  His breathing increased and when I brought my hand up to his shoulder I could hear a tremor of vulnerability.  I stepped even closer and glided my fingers up his neck to his cheek, leaning forward I pressed my lips against his.  He let out a caught breath and his arms came up behind me, pulling me into his chest, taking the kiss deeper.

His lips were hungry, half-starved as he took his fill, this was the kiss 3 years in the coming, the previous two of the past few days only leading up to this one.  I moaned into his mouth snaking my hands behind his neck.

When we finally broke for air, I pulled my head back and looked into his eyes.  Nico looked so nervous.  My confident, controlling Nico looked nervous and it broke my heart.

"It's okay now," I whispered as I pushed him lightly, making him walk backwards towards the bed.  When the backs of his legs hit the bed, I pushed him down into a seated position and crawled up until I was straddling his lap.  "Just let me love you."  I tilted his head up and leaned in for another kiss.   His mouth softened and opened for me and he reached his hands behind me, leaning back and pulling me down with him. 

He let me lead the kiss for a few minutes before he rolled us over and I relaxed back into the mattress letting him run his mouth all over my face, kissing my lips, cheeks, trailing his tongue down my jaw, finding all the spots that he had missed, that had missed him.  I closed my eyes and let myself just fall into the moment.  Nico nipped down my neck and found the place that always made me laugh as it was one of my most ticklish spots. 

Nico lifted up his face and I saw his wide grin as I caught my breath from laughing.  I took the opportunity to roll us back over again, making him laugh in return.  Sitting up I pulled my shirt over my head and dropped it casually on the floor behind me.  I grasped Nico's shirt by the bottom and started to pull it, he sat up just enough so I could pull it off and I tossed it across the room.  I smirked at him and he knew I was goading him since before he was always so fastidious about folding up our discarded clothing and placing them on the bureau or into the hamper.

Leaning down I brought my lips to his neck and dragged my teeth over his skin making him hiss in pleasure, his hips rocking up.  Feeling his excitement as he pressed into me almost made me dizzy and I had to catch my breath.  I rocked my hips down against his and we both let out gasps in harmony.  Nico's hands were gliding down my sides and then he slid them over my back and up, pulling me back down into him until our mouths met again. 

We kissed and let our mouths explore each other, re-learning the landscape.  Nothing was rushed, we had all the time in the world now and wanted to take the time to savour every bit.

Finally I stood back up unbuttoning my Levi's and pushed them down along with my boxers, dragging my socks along as well, my eyes never leaving Nico's.  When I'd kick the bundle of clothing away I leaned over and unbuttoned Nico's slacks, tugging them down as he watched, lifting his hips in assistance.  I tossed the rest of his clothes over my shoulder and watched the wry smile on his face that reflected in his eyes. 

I climbed back onto Nico and he looked momentarily concerned.  Leaning down, with a confidence that even astounded me, I promptly took his erection into my mouth using my lips and tongue to moisten his shaft.  He let out a breathy groan like I'd startled him.  The sound only triggered an ache deep in the pit of my stomach that had laid dormant for so long and the slow pace we had set suddenly seemed torturous. I swung my leg over his hips and I'm sure Nico could read the sudden desperation on my face.

"I need you."  The statement was full of meaning, but at this moment, it was pretty clear what I needed.  Nico voice didn't seem to be working and he pointed to the drawer of the nightstand.  I opened it and grabbed the brand new bottle of lube.  There were condoms too, but I had no need for them.  When he saw me disregard them he looked concerned.  "You tested clean and so have I…I always…used condoms after…I don't want anything to come between us."

Nico's eyes stayed on mine as I squeezed the lube into my hand and reached back and gripped him, running my hand up and down his shaft.  Nico finally found his voice when I started to raise my hips over him.  "Let me prep you."  I just shook my head no, I had no time for that and I wanted to feel him, I wanted to feel him so badly, so jarringly, I wanted to feel every bit of him push into me and I wanted to feel it for days.

Nico grabbed my hips slowing me down, his face resolute.  I lowered myself down, inch by inch, my eyes closing and I cried out, not in pain from him, but that pain when you've missed something so bad that when it finally comes back every feeling of loss that you'd suppressed comes back full force.  Nico sat up and tried to grab me, stop me, mistaking the sound, but I slapped away his hands and began rocking my hips over him with a force that matched my need. 

As if we were made for each other, he filled me completely, massaging my inner muscles and pleasurable sensations burst like a thousand fireworks lighting up the sky.  "Oh..oh god Nico," I moaned.   Nico sat up again, his arms wrapping around my back as he buried his face in my neck.  He was rocking up as I rocked down and we just fed off each other, the sounds he made triggered a tightening feeling emanating from my core, causing a vibration I could feel in my balls making me shudder against him.  When I cried out I could feel his arms tighten around me and his hips buck up with a gasp.

Tears of pleasure, lost and found, were streaming down my cheeks and I let out a half laugh, half sob.

As we both got closer and closer, Nico snaked an arm from around my back and slid it in between us, taking my shaft in his hand, causing another shudder to shake through my body.  I held myself back though, not for any reason other than I never wanted this to stop.  I wanted to stay like this forever.  But the more I held back, the more I shook and the harder it became to breath.

"Baby, please come for me, please baby, let yourself go," Nico pleaded and those words were all it took…my body shook and I cried out Nico's name as I came into his hand and over our stomachs.

Nico reacted with a sob and his body tensed and then he was shaking along with me and I felt an explosive heat deep inside my core.  Nico's hand came back around me and he squeezed me desperately to him, like he was never going to let me go.  Even after I was sure his orgasm had finished, he continued to shake.  I leaned back just an inch or so to see tears streaming down his face and a sob he must have been holding burst out as he pressed his face once again into me.

I held Nico tightly as he wept on my shoulder.  I knew the tears weren't of sadness, because I felt the same feelings as tears continued to trickle down my cheeks.  Like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders; a weight that threatened to drown me since the day Nico walked out of my life.

"It's okay," I whispered as I kissed the side of his head, running my hand in slow circles over his back, trying to soothe the emotions that seemed to be overwhelming him.  It only intensified my own emotions and I knew I couldn't hold them in any longer.  "I love you Nicolas Salazar.  I never stopped loving you and I never will."  Nico was gasping for breath, burying his face into my neck.  "It's okay if you can't say it back," I continued, "because I know you feel it, I knew when…"

"I love you," his raspy voice interrupted.  "I loved you then and I love you now and I loved you for every second of every day in between…and I'll love you Finn Jennings until I breathe my last breath, and even beyond that."

I sat back and looked down into his eyes, so serious, so honest and intense.  "I'm telling you the truth," he whispered, "I think I fell in love with you that first night, when you 'glommed' on to me like a little koala bear."  His face relaxed into a smile.

"Glommed?" I asked, my mouth curving up.

"I never forgot that word," he replied.

"Good, because I plan to glom on to you for the rest of my life…" I paused, unsure for a moment, "that is, if you'll have me."

"Finn, it's me who should be asking you that."

"Then I guess it's decided."

"I guess so," he agreed.

"That was…"

"Incredible," he finished.

We stayed holding each other for several minutes, neither of us wanting to let go, but finally, cramped muscles and a sticky abdomens were beginning to detract from our moment and we separated like one of those metal link puzzles, laughing as we tried to do it without flopping onto the bed ungracefully.  Nico led me into the bathroom and used a wet wash cloth to wipe me down.  I let him, just enjoying letting him care for me and watching the love in his eyes as he did it with such affection.

Afterwards, we lay in bed, holding each other.  I had my head on Nico's shoulder as he lay on his side facing me, tracing his left hand gently over me, as if I were the most precious thing on the earth.

"I remember lying in bed after you left.  My body ached so much, I felt like a junkie going through withdrawal and everything just hurt for your caress.  Like, just the smallest touch would have helped.  I kept trying to make deals with God, 'Just let me see him one more time, even just a few minutes'.  I don't know how I even made it through, I didn't even want to be alive if I had to feel that way." 

"You don't know how sorry I am baby."  Nico turned my face up to his and I could see the more tears forming in his eyes.  "I thought I was doing what's best for you, you were and will always be my first priority."

"Now you know what's best for me," I replied.  He nodded and kissed my forehead.

"I do, baby."

At some point, my eyes closed and I fell into a deep sleep.  Probably the best night's sleep I'd had in over three years.  I didn't wake up until I felt the bed moving and the sudden loss of the warmth of Nico's body.  I opened my eyes to sun streaming in the window.

"Stay right here, I want to make you breakfast," Nico said quietly.

"I can help," I said in a hoarse, tired voice.

"No, let me do this.  I'll let you know when it's ready."  I laid back against the pillow, then rolled over so I could inhale Nico's scent.  I can't believe it…I can't believe we made love last night…and it was so amazing.  Better than before.  What does this mean…what will happen next…I should just let things flow as they do and not overthink it.  I should…I should really go pee.  I got up to use the bathroom and brush my teeth, grabbing Nico's toothbrush since I didn't have one with me.  Chuckling as I put toothpaste on it.

A minute later I felt arms come around me and Nico's firm chest against my bare back.  I hadn't bothered to put anything on, not even boxers, but it was fine.  Feeling him against me was…amazing.  He was wearing a pair of sleep pants he must have put on before going to the kitchen.  Nico ran his hands up and down my front and sides and then stepped back and did the same on my back.

"Your body has changed so much."

"For the better?" I chuckled.

"You're beautiful," he whispered in my ear as he kissed my earlobe.  His lips moved to my neck, trailing down toward my shoulder before he looked up into the mirror at me.  "Hey? Is that my toothbrush?"