Sung by Sans and Chara, to each other.

Chara: It's not easy having yourself a good time
Greasing up those bets and betters
Watching out they don't four-letter
Fuck and kiss you both at the same time
Smells like something I've forgotten
Curled up died and now it's rotten

Sans: I'm not a gangster tonight
Don't want to be a bad guy
I'm just a loner baby
And now you got in my way

Sans: I can't decide
Whether you should live or die
Chara: Oh, you'll probably go to heaven
Sans: Please don't hang your head and cry
Both: No wonder why
My heart feels dead inside
It's cold and hard and petrified
Lock the doors and close the blinds
We're going for a ride

Sans: It's a bitch convincing people to like you
If I stop now call me a quitter
Chara: If lies were cats you'd be a litter
Sans: Pleasing everyone isn't like you
Dancing jigs until I'm crippled
Slug ten drinks I won't get pickled

Chara: I've got to hand it to you
You've played by all the same rules
Sans: It takes the truth to fool me
And now you've made me angry

Sans: I can't decide
Whether you should live or die
Chara: Oh, you'll probably go to heaven
Sans: Please don't hang your head and cry
Both: No wonder why
My heart feels dead inside
It's cold and hard and petrified
Lock the doors and close the blinds
We're going for a ride

Sans: Oh I could throw you in the lake
Or feed you poisoned birthday cake
Chara: I won't deny I'm gonna miss you when you're gone
Sans: Oh I could bury you alive
But you might crawl out with a knife
And kill me when I'm sleeping
That's why

Both: I can't decide
Whether you should live or die
Oh, you'll probably go to heaven
Please don't hang your head and cry
No wonder why
My heart feels dead inside
It's cold and hard and petrified
Lock the doors and close the blinds
We're going for a ride