"My name is not Runtpaw!" I yowl, my face heating up as if it basked in the sun for a moon.

"What'd you say, Runtpaw?" Poolpaw replies, her meow overflowing with rudeness. Cats, especially the other apprentices, begin to gather around us as we squabble.

"Don't call me that!" I yowl, finally erupting all the comments I've shoved back down my throat. "My name is Sparrowpaw! Why is it so hard for you to be nice to me? What did I ever do to you?" A growl is born at the back of her throat, rippling like a roaring current up her throat and sprouting out her mouth like a flower. A violent flower.

" 'What did I ever do to you?' " Poolpaw meows in a mocking tone, a dark glint of amusement sparking in her eyes. "Seriously? Are you blind? You were born and you spoil every waking moment of my life!"

Fellow TreeClan cats start to whisper and murmur about the comments of both sides, before our father steps out.

"What do you two think you're doing? Fighting like kits in front of the whole clan? StarClan you two..." He grumbles, separating us, his only kits, at least the ones he has so far. "Poolpaw. Call your brother by the right name, and Sparrowpaw, don't let her dirt-mouth get to you."

"Okay..." I mumble, knowing that Poolpaw will think nothing of our father's remark and still call me foul names. Owlwatcher glances at her for a reply, but she turns her head and leaves the camp. I nod sheepishly at my father and pad backwards towards Pollenpaw, hoping she can make me feel somewhat better.

"I'm so sorry," She whispers, forcing out a soft mew as a tear wells in her eye. Her beautiful, perfect, sun-soaked fur trembling as she faces Poolpaw and her littermates.

"Why? You have done nothing." I tell her, praying it makes her feel better. I hate seeing her so worried.

"I know but..." Pollenpaw begins. "You have it so much worse than I do. At least my siblings ignore me. But you..." A single, frail tear escapes from the cave of her eye and plops onto the soft ground below. "have it so much worse."

"Pollenpaw." I meow slowly, so I can think about telling her about my 'curse'. I know I can trust her, and my mother never said I couldn't tell anyone, but I have a weird feeling about telling her. "Maybe it's just my destiny. StarClan is like that." She simply nods her head after a moment of silence watching the clouds dance in the sky that is stroked with orange and purple and yellow.

"I wonder what my destiny is." She giggles, a spark of playfulness lighting in her sky blue eyes. "Right now I think it's to go to sleep."

~~~

Stars twinkle around me like the loving sparks in Pollenpaw's lovely eyes. Warmth that I haven't felt in moons dance on my fur and fill my ears. Soon another type of warmth fills my heart as a black and white cat jumps out of the stars. She simply smiles, but I know what she yearns to say. The same look is stuck on my face, a million words dancing in my mind, but all I can do is smile. Smile and wish I could stay here forever. Smile and wish the warmth could stay in my body forever. Smile and wish she was still with me, or at the very least, stay here with her.

"My Sparrowpaw," She meows, her words soft and kind, overflowing with love. "You look very handsome. Just like your father." I wince at the mention of Owlwatcher, as I flash back to images of him and Ambershine, loving like nothing happened. Like no one died. Like no one was hurt. She notices, but doesn't say anything.

"Hey mom..." I meow, not knowing what to say, which words to pluck from my mind. "I miss you." Sparks of love ignite in her gentle blue eyes.

"As do I. I love you son. Please never forget that, or me." With those words her soft outline is blown away by a gentle breeze and I'm brought back to reality.

~~~

"Have you ever tasted sparrow?" Pollenpaw giggles, poking at the bird in the fresh-kill pile.

"No," I laugh, glancing at something else to eat in the pile. "I think I'd be a bad thing to do that... Don't you think?" She simply laughs and grabs a squirrel, beckoning me with her tail to follow.

The squirrel is a bit tough, probably left over from yesterday's patrol. I glance over at Pollenpaw, eating away, but a look of trouble sparks in her eyes. I look around to see what she could be troubled about, but nothing really strikes my eyes. I sigh and hope everything is okay for her, and that "my destiny" isn't messing up her life too.

After I finish my half of the squirrel, I bury the bones and lick Pollenpaw's head. She gives me a loving giggle and grooms my neck. We sit together for a while, watching the sun succumb to the night, vibrant colors appearing in the horizon.

"Look," I meow with a hint of playfulness. "the sunset is as beautiful as you." Pollenpaw smiles and sighs, putting her head down on my flank and falls asleep with ease.

Glancing at her beautiful flecked fur and soft coat, I realize how thankful I am for her. Without her I'd be lost and crazed by the grief. She supports me and loves me when there is no one left to.

"Thanks Pollenpaw. For everything."

~~~

Dead leaves crinkle at the weight of my cold paws as I adventure through the camp as the sun only begins to rise. I soon realize my hopes of sitting outside by myself are ruined by two other cats who were probably thinking the same thing. Owlwatcher and Ambershine sit together closely, facing the sun hidden by flat clouds. I turn back, hoping I won't have to talk to them, but the loud leaves think differently. They turn around and smile, flicking their tails happily.

"Hi Sparrowpaw!" Ambershine meows, smiling as big as the hole in my heart. I can't respond with words, as they stick to my throat, but I flick my tail with a fake smile and hope it's enough. I begin to turn back when Owlwatcher gets up and walks towards me.

"Son, what's wrong?" He meows, acting like he really doesn't know what he's doing. And what he's doing hurts me.

"Nothing." I mumble, wishing I never got up this morning. Owlwatcher looks at me harder, knowing something is wrong. "Ugh, it's just that you're with Ambershine..." I finally meow.

"What's wrong with that?"

"What's wrong with that? Really?" I meow, still quietly, but definitely losing my cool. "Mom died less than a season ago, and now you're loving some other she-cat like nothing ever happened! Weren't you in love? Weren't you her special tom and she was your special she-cat? Or did you never even love each other?"

"I..." He meows slowly, definitely caught off guard by my outburst. He shakes his head and beckons me to follow him into the forest. "Sparrowpaw." He meows again, deep in the tall trees and frosted grass.

"I'm sorry... It's just-"

"No, don't be sorry. You're right." He chokes, tears soaking his rich gray fur. "Well, I mean, I did love your mother. Of course I did. I loved her since we were young warriors. Thing is after we were mates Ambershine wanted me too, but your mother and I were already together. I loved her every second of every day, but when she died, I had no one to lean on. I had no one to talk to or confide in, but Ambershine was there. And she still loved me. I didn't realize that and I didn't realize this would happen..." His reply leaves me speechless, not knowing what to say. At all.

"I'm glad she was there for you." I mumble. "I just... I don't know... I'm sorry..."

"I'm sorry too, I didn't realize it hurt you so much." He meows, stepping closer to lick my forehead. "I love you." I smile and curl my head under his, missing when I'd do this to Larkwhistle. I'm not sure if this heals everything, but knowing more of the story makes me feel a bit better.

"I love you too."

Hey guys, long time no chapter! Haha, I hope you guys really enjoyed this long (very, very long) overdue chapter! Thank you for reading! :3