Atifa's pov :

The alarm rang for like the 3rd time and I finally woke up yawning. I have been putting my alarm on snooze for the last fifteen minutes as I just wanted to snuggle up in my comforter and sleep for a few more hours. I couldn't sleep early last night as I kept thinking about all the things that happened in the past few years.

'Alhamdulillahillazi Ahyana Baadamaa Amatana Wa Ilaihin Nushuur" All praise is for Allah who gave us life after causing us to die, and unto Him is the resurrection. I read this dua as it is sunnah to read it.

After freshening up and praying I took out my Quran. Alhamdulillah, I have this habit of reading Surah Yaseen and some pages of Quran after Fajr prayer. So I took the Quran from the book shelf and sat back down to start my recitation.

There is a hadith regarding reading Surah Yaseen after Fajr which follows as: The Hadith mentioned by ‘Ataa bin Abi Rabaah (R.A.) states that the Prophet (S.A.W.) said: “Whosoever recites Surah Yaseen in the early part of the day his needs will be fulfilled.” (Mishkaat, Page 189).

I knew ammi would be sleeping now and even Amira would be asleep. So after my recitation, I headed downstairs towards the kitchen and started making breakfast. I know it might seem early but ammi have to go to work and I even have to pack her lunch. Getting to work, I made chappatis (tortilla's) and omlette. After packing her lunch I cleaned up the kitchen and while I was working I started doing dhikr since it is said in the Quran;

"Those men and women who engage much in Allah's praise for them Allah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward." ~Quran 33:35

After cleaning the kitchen I glanced at the clock, it showed 7 a.m. Setting the breakfast at the table, I went to brew two cups of coffee. Ammi would be up already by now and she needs coffee the first thing in the morning.

As I took the two cups of coffee to the dining table I saw ammi was already sitting there ready to go. I handed one cup to her.

"Assalamualikum ammi." I greeted while sitting on the chair opposite to hers.

"Hmm, Walikumussalam." She replied and started having her breakfast. 

I just sipped my coffee silently, thinking of the time when we would be talking and chatting while having breakfast. Those days were gone now, and thinking about them just hurts me. It used to be so much fun back then, no worries or stress about anything. The breakfast went with none of us uttering another word. Both immersed in our own thoughts.

After the breakfast, ammi stood up and went in her room to grab her bag. I went in the kitchen to take her lunch bag and came back only to see ammi standing in front of the door strapping her heels. I rushed towards her.

"Ammi, aapka lunch…" I stopped her before she could open the door and handed it to her with a small smile hoping to get one in return. I knew it was hopeless but one can still hope. That was the only thing which kept me going on. (Your)

"Jazak Allah." She replied without any emotion as always and went out of the door, locking it.

As soon as the door locked, my smile slipped and tears sprang to my eyes. I blinked them away and turned around. No, I was already tired and this was not the time for it. This has been happening since a year and I should have gotten used to it. But it still hurts. A lot. And I still have to get used to it one day.

I shook my head and went towards the dining room. After cleaning the dining table and the kitchen I went to my room. All this while I was doing dhikr to take my mind off of things and was trying my best not to overthink. Allah is with the patient and I should trust Him. In Shaa Allah things will be alright soon and ammi will be back to her old self. At least I hope so.

._._._.

I was woken up by someone jumping on my bed trying to wake me up. Yeah you got that right, it was Amira. I yawned and covered myself by my blanket. "Let me sleep Mira." Muttering the dua, I told her in my sleepy voice.

"Api, uthiye na, I'm hungry and why are you still sleeping?" She asked me in her childish voice. I love her voice. It made me smile. I removed my blanket and checked the time. It was 9:15 so she was bound to wake up by now. (Wake up please)

"Did you brush your teeth Mira?" I asked her while getting up from the bed and tieing up my hair in a messy bun.

She came down from the bed and answered me, "No, I wanted to wake you up first." She smiled sheepishly. Than she ran out of my room probably towards her room to freshen up. I shook my head, a smile on my face. She will never change! After folding the blanket and washing my face, I went to the kitchen.

I heated the breakfast and set up the dining table while calling Amira. She came down running and sat on her chair. I sat opposite to her. "Api we are going to bake cakes today, remember?" She asked me while taking a chappati. (Tortilla)

"Yes, I remember Mira." I replied while taking a chappati myself. Amira loves cakes much more than me and when I say that, it is something. Because even I'm a huge fan of cakes and cookies. Basically all baked sweet stuff. She wants to learn how to make cakes as she says 'like a pro'.

"But we will make it after cleaning the house and completing all the work. Got it?" I asked while looking at her.

She opened her mouth to say something, most probably to protest but then looked at me and closed her mouth. "Ok api, as you say." She passed me a cute smile.

Awww Amira, sometimes she just manages to melt me with her words and expressions. I know she wanted to argue with me but decided against it because she knew I won't agree with her.

I silently prayed to Allah at that moment to always keep her happy and protected. She was innocent and I prayed that may she never be exposed to the cruelties of this world. It is said that one of the fastest dua which is accepted is the dua made for a muslim brother by his muslim brother behind his back. Subhan Allah how beautiful is that? The dua that we make for our muslim brother/sister in Islam behind their back is accepted so fast. And it is also said that when we make dua for someone the angels say 'Aameen and same for you'. How beautiful is that? That we make dua for someone else and the angels pray the same for us too. Islam is truly beautiful if once we started to explore it. Even behind a small act of kindness or worship there is so much reward and wisdom that a human mind can never truly grasp.

After doing our breakfast and washing the dishes I asked Amira to clean her room, while I went to clean my room. Amira's exams have completed and it was a 15 - 20 days holiday which is ususally given after exams. The classes for the new year will be starting in a few days and Amira was really excited about it.

I have completed my high school and now I m waiting for my results of the final year. They will be releasing it in a month maybe. I want to become a lecturer but I don’t really want to have a job. I just want to study.

._._._.

When I came out all freshen up Amira came running to me and started dragging me towards the kitchen. Oh I know where this is going! I chuckled at her excitement. "Mira wait a minute at least! I need to take this towel off my head and dry my hair princess." I told her lovingly.

"Okay okay, but I am giving you only five minutes for that. Understood?" She stated bossily. This girl I tell you!

"Okay madam!" I saluted and chuckled. Shaking my head, I went back to my room to dry my hair.

"Api, your five minutes are up. Come back!" I heard her as I was climbing down the stairs.

"Yes Mira I know, I am here!" I replied as I started taking out the stuff for baking. Amira was keenly observing me and helping me with such concentration that it made me surprised. She isn’t that concentrated even when we are studying her favorite subject. That is something new!

We were making four cakes. Two chocolate and two vanillas. Chocolate is mine and Amira's favorite while Ammi likes vanilla more. And we love cake so much that these four cakes are going to get finished within these five days! Actually, it would be a miracle if it doesn’t get finished before that. We have a record of not letting these sweet stuff stay for much time.

After keeping two trays in the oven and setting up the timer, we went and sat in the living room, searching for something to watch on TV.

"Api, Aapko pata hai, I will be a pro at baking the best cakes in the whole wide world you know!? And people will be standing outside my bakery waiting for their turn to come so that they can order their cake. I will be so famous and the best baker ever!" Amira exclaimed while standing on the sofa and flailing her arms around. (You know that)

I laughed, "Yes Mira, I know. You will be the best In Shaa Allah!" I told her while making her sit beside me. "Now while the cake is getting ready go to the park and play with your friends. They might be waiting for you." I said while standing up.

"Okay api, but please don’t cut the cake before I come back." She pleaded with her puppy dog eyes making a cute face.

I laughed "Okay Mira I won't! But come back soon." I shouted after her as she dashed towards the door with a grin.

"Okay!" Hearing her reply, I returned upstairs to my room to offer my Zuhr salah just as the azaan went off.

._._._.

I was reading something on wattpad when I heard the doorbell ring. It was early, Amira usually stays outside for at least two hours playing with her friends. If it's her at the door, I wonder what happened today. Maybe she was excited to have the cake and came back early. I ascended down the stairs as these thoughts wandered through my mind.

I opened the door to see that my sister came back with a girl of around her age and the girl's knee was scraped. It was bleeding and the girl was crying. Ushering them both inside, I closed the door. I asked her what happened and Amira told me that the girl fell down while playing and got hurt. I asked them both to sit in the living room and went in the kitchen to grab the first aid box. I came back with it and cleaned the wound on her knee before covering it with a bandage. All the while Amira was watching me keenly and the girl had stopped crying. Even she was watching me intently like I was some secret spy in a movie?! Okay, I know I'm might sound crazy, but that's the truth.

"What happened?" I asked them both consciously touching my hijab but I found my hair instead. Oh yeah, I forgot to wear my hijab while coming down but I don’t think they were staring at me for that.

"It's nothing api..." Amira replied looking at the girl now. The girl had turned her gaze away from me and was now staring at her hands in her lap. I let it be and sat down beside the girl.

"What's your name cutie?" I asked while looking at her. Concerned because I had never seen her in this area and I know almost every child of this area.

She glanced at me before looking down. "My name is Alayna." She meekly replied, maybe afraid of the new environment and not knowing where she was.

"Oh, so another princess! Ma Shaa Allah, you have a beautiful name." I said with a smile. Amira sat down beside her and was staring at Alayna with curiosity filled eyes.

"Where are you from? How did you come here?" This question was asked by Amira, something that I was wondering about.

Alayna looked at Amira and smiled as if remembering something. "I came here with bhai and he left me in the park some time ago because he had some work to do. He told me he will be somewhere around here and would come back to take me!" She told her excitedly, all the while the smile never leaving her face. (Brother)

The timer of the oven went off in the kitchen and I smiled at them "Wait here, I will bring something for you both." They both smiled and started talking about something. Kids can become friends so easily, their hearts are so pure and innocent that they don't look for any materialistic thing or what they might gain from a friendship. It's one of the purest kind of friendship.

._._._.

Taking the tray of freshly baked cakes and juices, I went to the living room. "I'm here!" I exclaimed happily. They both turned to me happily. Carefully placing the tray on the table I gave the cake to both of them.

"Jazak Allahu Khairan api. It looks beautiful." Amira said while taking a bite.

"And it's yummy too." Exclaimed Alayna gleefully. "Jazak Allahu Khairan api." She added sheepishly with a cute and shy smile on her face.

"Wa Antum Fa Jazak Allahu Khairan." I replied with a smile, watching them enjoy their cake. There is just a different satisfaction in watching your siblings or family enjoying something which you made. Especially kids, and since I love kids, it was no surprise that I was feeling very happy.

I took my piece of the cake, sat down on a sofa opposite to them and started eating. I will agree that it was delicious. Amira and Alayna were talking about something while my mind wandered off to think about Alayna. I mean how can a brother even leave his younger sister alone in a different town? It is just so unbelievable. I was feeling so angry on him that I could just go and give him a lecture of my own! I mean even if he had some important work, he could have taken her with him. Or if he didn't had any choice than at least give her a phone for her own safety. Why did he even brought her here with him if he couldn't even take her with himself or take care of her?

"Api, we are going to my room to play." Amira's voice brought me out of my thoughts. She was helping Alayna get down. Ah, these cute little kids! One day they are going to steal my breath away, I swear.

"Ok, but be careful. No running around the house." I warned them while getting up and taking the tray to the kitchen.

After cleaning the tables and washing the dishes - during which my mind was busy in murdering Alayna's brother for doing such a thing - I went towards my room to resume my reading.

I could hear Amira and Alayna chatting away happily. Tiptoeing towards Amira's room I peeked in. A smile etched on my lips as I watched them paint. Amira was instructing Alayna how to do it. A memory rushed to me and my eyes watered thinking about it. It reminded me of those days when even I used to draw with Abbu and Ammi. I used to be the bossy one always instructing them what to do and how to do it. But now that I think about it, I was so childish. It can never be the same again. It would never be the same. Those days were over now. They were gone. Never to come back again.

A sob threatened to escape my lips and only then did I realise that tears were streaming down my face. Covering my face with my hands, I took a few steps back before running towards my room. Closing the door, I slid down with my back pressed to the door and sat there hugging my knees. My tears and sobs seemed to have found a way as they continued to escape past my lips. I tried to suppress them but I guess it was of no use. I just sat there and let my tears free trying to make minimum noise as to not let Amira or Alayna know. It seemed like my mind had it's own legs that it walked to one of my old memories, which undoubtedly made me cry harder.

._._._.

GLOSSARY :

- Aapka - Your

- Uthiye na - Wake up please

- Chappati - Tortilla

- Aapko pata hai - Do you know/You know that

- Ma Shaa Allah - It is an Arabic phrase that means "what God has willed" and is used to express appreciation, joy, praise, or thankfulness for an event or person that was just mentioned. It is also a common expression used in the Muslim world to wish for God's protection of something or someone from the evil eye.

- Bhai - Big brother

- Jazak Allahu Khairan - is a term used as an Islamic expression of gratitude meaning "May God reward you [with] goodness." 

- Wa Antum Fa Jazak Allahu Khairan - A reply which means, "And you too, may God reward you with goodness".

._._._.