Atifa's pov :

The morning sun shone, bringing a few beams of rays in the room and onto my face. Groaning, I covered my face with the comforter and snuggled to sleep more for some time.

As today is ammi's holiday, and even she will be sleeping in till late after fajr, I don't have to make breakfast early in the morning. So no, I don't plan on waking up so soon too. I still feel tired and if it would be up to me, I would sleep in whole day today. A content sigh escaped my lips as I slipped back into my peaceful slumber.

It was the giggling of the kids and the sweet aroma of the pancakes which welcomed me when I woke up again. This time, due to the continues clatter of the pots and chatter of the kids.

Rubbing my eyes, I sat up, squinting at the sun rays peeking in my room through the folds of the curtains, trying to recall if I asked ammi to make breakfast today.

Yawning, I picked up my mobile to check the time. It was 9:30 a.m. A frown adorned my face, it is strange that Amira didn't come to wake me up today. I turned to see that Emaan was still snuggled up and sleeping comfortably by my side.

I shook her. "Wake up Emaan. It's 9:30." I murmured as I started snuggling back, feeling sleepy. Maybe I can sleep some more. If I'm lucky enough.

She sat up straight abruptly when she heard me, forgetting her sleepiness. "What happened?" I asked her with a frown sleepily already slipping back to sleep.

"Ya Allah, is it really 9:30 right now?!" She exclaimed as she picked up her mobile hastily to check the time. "God! And you are waking me up now. And why are you snuggling back in to sleep?" She asked me with a frown as she tried to snatch my comforter away from me.

"Yeah, why?" I asked her, already half asleep. "And let me sleep for a while more. Even you can sleep if you want." I added as I closed my eyes.

"You are asking me why? WHY? Ya Allah, did you forget it's your nikkah today?" She exclaimed while looking at me in disbelief.

At the words 'your nikkah' my eyes shot open and I looked at her shocked. I won't admit it to her, but I really did forget about it for a while. My eyes darted to my henna clad hands as I recalled yesterday's events. So that's why ammi is making breakfast today?

"Ya Allah girl, go and freshen up!" Emaan whined as she pushed me out of the bed. I was still lost in my thoughts when she pushed me, making me tumble down and fall on my side.

A groan escaped my lips as I glared at her. "Okay, I'm going. Now don't start abusing me. It's my nikkah today and I will complain about you to ammi." Unknowingly, I pouted making her chuckle as she shook her head.

"I won't if you hurry up." She said while getting off the bed and attempting to make a messy bun but failing miserably. She groaned letting her hands fall to her sides.

I laughed while standing up and folding the comforter. "When will you finally learn that?" I asked her, referring to her failed attempt.

"Soon." Glaring at me, she muttered angrily before adding, "Now go freshen up!"

"Oh yes you guys can freshen up but don't shower now!" We heard ammi's voice as she entered the room with a table trolly.

Okay, so we will have breakfast here in my room? I frowned in confusion. "Assalamualikum ammi, why did you bring our breakfast here? We could have come down ourselves." I asked, taking the trolly from her and wheeling it in.

"Oh yes, I know that you guys would have joined us downstairs, but don't you remember the rule? The bride and the groom can't see each other until the nikkah. And also, this is your last food as a single lady, after this you will be a married woman that's why I wanted to have it with you both upstairs." Ammi replied as she sat on the bed and pulled the trolly.

"Ya Allah ammi! Are we seriously going to follow that rule too now?! And by the way, I'm not a woman yet, I'm still a lady and I will remain a lady even after my nikkah." I replied fiercely with a scowl.

"Ohh so someone doesn't want to follow these rules hmm?" Emaan teased with a smirk - totally ignoring my claim to remain a lady - as she pulled back the chair from the dressing table to sit.

Of all the things, she caught on this? "Shut up, it's not like that!" I tried to defend myself as I glared at her.

"So what is it like? Please elaborate Miss Bride." Emaan countered back, the smirk still on her face. Ignoring her, I turned to look at ammi just to see her watching us with an amused expression on her face.

"Ammi!" I pouted as a frown replaced my glare. She just chuckled, shaking her head. I could even hear Emaan giggling behind me.

"Okay, I'm going to freshen up now." Before I could turn to glare at her again, she quickly informed us before rushing to the washroom.

Huffing, I kept the comforter aside and sat down. I hadn't noticed until then that the trolly was packed with breakfast which included pancakes, waffles, honey and our favourite, chocolate syrup, with some fresh cubes of fruits. The shopping bags were kept on the lower trolly.

Turning to look at ammi, I raised an eyebrow, silently asking her what's that. She grinned as she started taking out the bags one by one. "Oh these are just some gifts for Saad's family. I couldn't show them to you yesterday as it was already late so I brought them here now. And I also brought your and Emaan's dress." Opening the bags, she showed me the dresses.

There was a nice dress for his mom and bhabi. I have already seen Alayna's dress, she will be wearing it today. Ammi even bought traditional wear for his dad and brother. Then there were some dresses for mamu and his family. She also ended up buying a few regular dresses for us - Emaan and me - and shirts, t-shirts and jeans for him. (Mom's brother)

It was astonishing watching her talk about it all in excitement and hope. I could see my old ammi back like she was never even gone in the first place. Midway through her chatter, Emaan also returned and was watching the stuff with me, adding in her comments here and there.

"Okay now go and freshen up Atifa. And Emaan will you please go and bring coffee from downstairs? I forgot about it. Just heat it up while I put these back." Ammi told us as she started packing the dresses back. My bed looked like a pretty stall since all the clothes were sprawled on it. "And also, after breakfast help her with these exfoliation and face masks, I will prepare a bath for her."

I looked at them horrified, what was even happening here?! No way am I going to use those things. Especially not a bath. I don't need it. Ammi glanced at me and I could see hint of a smile on her face. "No way! I don't need any of it guys. I'm good." I said firmly.

"You should be better." I heard ammi murmur as I stood there shocked. "Now hurry up! Breakfast is getting cold." Ammi said, totally ignoring my words and waving us off. I gaped at her as I heard Emaan giggle.

"Your mom is cool, everyone should have a mom like her." Emaan whispered and winked at me as she stood up to go. "Okay aunty, you don't worry, I will do it." She replied before leaving the room.

"Ammi!" I whined, but when she ignored me, I huffed and left for the washroom, dreading the upcoming events. Ya Allah, please save me! 

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After lots of prodding and arguing, we were finally done with everything. I had a bath and took a shower too. Because I just can't stay without having a shower when ammi decided to add some oils and essentials in there.

And I had to use face masks too. But it was all over now so I shouldn't be thinking about it. I sighed in relief once I was comfortably sitting on my bed, towel drying my hair. Emaan just went in to have a shower. Her dress was laid down on one side of the bed and the heels were kept beside it.

And my dress was laid in the middle of the bed since 'someone' was trying to do a photoshoot here with it. I shook my head as a chuckle escaped my lips. Crazy girl!

A knock resounded in the room followed by Ammi coming in carrying two bags with her. I looked at her with a frown. What is it now?

Before I could ask her, she kept the bags on the bed and took out the boxes. She opened them and I realised some of them were jewellery boxes, a few of which she might have bought yesterday. One of the boxes contained a watch, a clutch and shoes. Other than that, there were just jewelleries.

"So since I couldn't figure out which one you might like or which one will go with the dress, I bought a few of them. Select the one you like the most and I will keep one for each Amira and Alayna and the rest will be returned." Ammi went straight to the point. She seemed to be in a rush. Maybe worried about today's upcoming events.

"Okay I will select something now but ammi, you need to calm down." I told her while pouring out a glass of water for her. Handing it to her, I urged her to drink it.

Smiling at me, she calmed down a bit and after a while, asked me once anxiously. "Did you like anything?"

I scanned the opened boxes kept in front of me. One of them caught my attention and I picked it up. It looked so beautiful. The silver coloured jewellery was carved beautifully into intricate design, giving it a regal look. It wasn't too heavy or light. It seemed perfect. At least to me it did. I was running my fingers on the design when I heard ammi's voice, "I had an idea that you would like this one."

Looking up at her, I saw her smiling at me. Maybe she still remembers what kind of things I like. Maybe she hasn't forgotten anything but I have. Maybe she wasn't being ignorant, but I was. Maybe I was just too busy grieving in sorrow that I forgot about her knowing me well enough to know what's best for me.

To be honest, I don't even know where these thoughts are coming from! Maybe watching her like this now, and knowing that today will be the last day that I will remain just a daughter or sister. And after a few hours, I will become a wife too has opened a new chamber of emotions in my mind, which it seems like, I don't even know how to lock anymore.

The emotions clogged my throat, fighting to come up, but I gulped, trying to suppress them in. "I loved it ammi." I told her genuinely, my eyes shining with gratitude and happiness, a smile adorning my lips. Maybe a few more emotions could be detected through my glassy eyes and my hoarse voice but I warded that thought off my mind, not wanting to think about it.

Her eyes shone with unshed tears as she dabbed under her eyes. "You look so beautiful princess. I can't even believe that you have grown up so soon. I just..." She paused, her voice cracking the slightest bit but I noticed it. My eyes scanned her face as I tried to figure out if she was doing the same; trying to suppress her emotions like me. She looked away trying to gather herself and those scattering emotions, which seem to give way to my clogged ones, making me look away too.

Treacherously, a tear leaked from my eye making me hastily wipe it away. I can't lose my control now. Not when it seems so hard for her to keep her emotions at bay. I can't let myself feel weak. Exhaling loudly, I turned to look at her before giving her a warm smile. Keeping the box aside, I took her soft hands in mine. She turned to look at me, probably surprised by my sudden affection.

I have always loved how her hands always used to stay warm and soft. I will say she is still young, although she has just turned forty. Holding them felt like I was a kid once again. Holding her hands and asking for something. Or holding her hands while going out. It just brought my old memories back, something which I was trying to avoid. Squeezing them, I told her, "You don't have to say anything ammi. I-" A lump formed in my throat and I gulped it down, blinking back the tears. "I understand you." I continued while holding her gaze softly.

Heaving a long sigh, she gazed at me with gentleness swirling in her chocolate orbs. At that moment, it seemed like the mask which she wore for so long, slipped from her face. It was like all the tiredness from the past year has suddenly weighed her down, crashed on her, revealing an old and withered face. And suddenly, she looked a lot older. And I don't feel like wanting to know or hear anything else.

I guess my sudden affection was too much for her to take as I saw her tears flowing, although she tried to stop them. She squeezed my hands gently and I didn't realise when I lost control of my emotions too. Only when a sob escaped my lips did I realise tears were flowing down my face too. Freeing her hands from my hold, she tried to wipe her tears away. But it was of no use since they kept flowing. It seemed like a dam was broken after so long and it wouldn't stop at any cost now.

I brought my keens closer to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. This time, I didn't try to stop myself from crying. I knew it was of no use. Maybe things were going back to normal. Maybe we will go back to being the way we used to be before. But I couldn't be sure about it. Life was unpredictable - yes. But ammi has become much more unpredictable since that incident. Since the incident which changed our lives forever.

Shaking myself away from these thoughts, I glanced at ammi. She was sobbing uncontrollably. Putting my knees down, I scooted closer to her and let myself hug her shaking form. I could feel her arms circling around me, pulling me closer. I let the warmth surrounding her engulf me. I let ourselves cry our hearts out.

I don't know what the future holds for us, but I won't let this opportunity slip. I won't let the moments I can cherish now, slip away from me just because I don't know what the future holds for us. But I know whatever it will be, it will be for the best since it is planned by the best. I know He won't test us beyond our capabilities. I trust him. We plan and Allah plan and indeed Allah is the best of planners.

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GLOSSARY :

- Mamu - Mom's brother.

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▪ What do you think would be your reaction on your nikkah day? Do you think even you will forget about it like Atifa?
And those who are already married, what was your reaction on your nikkah day?

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