It's been a whole month since the biggest events of my life have taken place, and I have been feeling completely miserable about it all. I quit my job at the publishing company and stopped renting my old apartment. With the few times that I have visited the place it is just too unbearable. It is a constant reminder of what have happened no matter how many times I would bleach the floors. I would just end up breaking down in front of whoever is with me, my mother, Lucifer, even Abaddon or Lilith, because Lucifer believes I need to be watched at all times whenever he's not around. Though I must say, much to my surprise Lilith's intimidating exterior has evaporated quite the bit, and I wonder if it's because of what happened or because Lucifer has spoken with her about the abortion proposition.

The first week after I got back from the hospital I stayed with my mum. She is more than helpful though after five days she supposed I should get myself out of bed. I just can't bring myself to do it. Not until Lily and Hardy flew over from New York to visit. But even then, I is a mess. They were a huge help whenever it came to my father's funeral. I wept for days thinking about his dead body in that casket. No amount of make-up is able to cover up the slit on his throat.

I know I have to come to an acceptance on his death, but I don't think I will be able to until I get to know what it is that is happening with Nina. Where she is and what is being done to her.

Lucifer has kept me completely out of the loop on this matter. Probably because he doesn't want to overwhelm me or thinks it may do me more harm than good. But at this point in my life I think I need it. I already set my mind on revenge.

It's been four god damn weeks! I know I won't heal in this short amount of time, but I am feeling better. I may be walking around Lucifer's apartment in sweats with my hair in braids, but at least I'm out of bed and eating better.

Despite that, everyone still acts cautious around me. Tiptoeing around certain topics or avoiding them altogether when I'm around. It makes me feel like I am a ticking bomb ready to explode any moment. But perhaps that's what I am. Afterall, I am eagerly waiting to get my alone time with Nina. I've no idea what I will do, what I will say even, I just need to confront her. Without Lucifer around clouding my judgments.

It's a Friday evening, the city lights just beginning to enlighten the vast living room as I began to have a habit of opening up the curtains. The complete opposite of what Lucifer prefers, but he lets me do it anyway. And with Christmas just around the corner the twinkling city lights reminds of Christmas trees. Though this year I am not in the festive mood, I haven't even asked Lucifer about having a Christmas tree in his penthouse.

I sit resting my chin on my propped-up knee as my fingers glide across the white and black keys of the piano that I never know Lucifer have. I don't remember how to play well anymore, but I remember this one sad melody from when I is younger, and I play it over and over to the point I can now do it with my eyes closed.

Just then I hear the ding of the elevator in the foyer. Light tapping footsteps fill the echoes of the room and a number of shuffling bags. Once I look up, I see Skyler walking towards the kitchen with the regular Friday night takeaway.

I stand and walk over to him. Sitting on the bar stool as I watch him look for some utensils in the drawers.

"What's the meal for today?" I ask trying to give him a smile. Probably the most genuine one in weeks.

"Italian!" he replies as he takes out the boxes and hands me the food.

I fiddle with them before I dig into some pasta, it is so good and creamy, not as perfect as Lucifer's slave cooks his food, but very close to it and so much so I let out a moan of delight.

"You're looking better, its lovely seeing you enjoy food finally," comments Skyler as he appreciatively smiles at me, showing me his wrinkles dimples.

I have grown to really like Skyler. He may be Lucifer's advisor, but to me he felt like family already. Kind of like an uncle if I can put it that way.

I grunt with my mouth full and wait until I'm finished chewing.

"I feel better Skyler, but I don't think I will fully be okay until I know what's happened to Nina," I say gulping loudly as I say her name.

Skyler's body stiffens at the mention of her name, making him look like a robot as he places a glass of water in front of me. I don't blame him. She has left quite the wound on our lives but it's time for them to update me on the situations. I am more than ready to listen without breaking down because all I can think about is the way she slaughtered my dad and caused me to lose my child. The very child Lucifer and I still have to discuss. Perhaps that's the topic of discussion for this evening?

"You know you don't have to tiptoe around the topic of Nina anymore, I know you all try to avoid it when I'm around," I say as I nibble on a baby shrimp waiting for his response.

"We are all simply worried for your wellbeing Annabelle. We didn't think it appropriate to mention her after what she put you through."

I sigh in low exasperation, putting my fork down and cross my arms as I lean onto the kitchen island.

"And I get that, I do, but it has to be my choice whether I want to talk about her, not everybody else's."

He doesn't say anything, just looks down almost in embarrassment. Poor Skyler, God knows what Lucifer forbid him to talk about with me.

"I need to know Skyler, please, where is she?" I plead politely.

Not only am I begging him to tell me with my words but also with my eyes.

"Is she at the cottage?" I ask eagerly prompting him to lift up his eyes to meet mines. He looks surprised? I'm not sure. His eyes are widely unguarded, and his mouth opened.

"In the torture room down in the basement area?" I press him.

He sighs shaking his head like one of those big wobbly car toys.

"I really oath not to talk about this, Lucifer makes it very clear we aren't to mention Nina in any conversations."

Naturally I bite down on my lower lip and question whether I should press some more. I didn't want to get him into any trouble, but then again, what's the worst that can happen?

"Please Skyler, you can tell me, Lucifer doesn't have to know how I found out, I just need to know if I want to move on from what she did, you can call it the final step to recovery," I tell him.

Skyler stomps around with his little feet around the kitchen as my head darts to wherever he goes. My hands now also fall down onto my lap as my fingers twiddle with each-other. I might as well be having a one on one thumb war with myself as he keeps me waiting.

"Yes, she at the cottage, but you shouldn't go there, you have to promise me you won't, otherwise Lucifer will find out and he won't be so kind anymore with our apologise," he finally lets out.

"My lips are sealed, and my bum stuck to this place," I promise him.

I guess I is right then. Nina is at the cottage, and still alive I presume with the way he worded the situation. I may have lied that I won't see her, but I need to confront her about this. It's something I need to do, none of them may understand.

Just then we both hear the unlocking of Lucifer's office doors. We turn our heads around, and I stomp down to my feet. As soon as Lucifer walks out, I run into his arms. His heat, his smell, and the way he wraps his arms around my body is what I look forward to each evening. Even though he's only even gone for half a day nowadays, it's still long enough for me to miss him.

"Hey there baby, miss me?" he says in a cocky voice that indicated that he's being half serious, half joking around.

"More than you know," I whimper as he releases me from his embrace and leans forward to give my lips a gentle peck.

We intertwine our fingers together and walk over to the kitchen where the island is still spread out with all of the takeaway food. Though half of it is already gone, I is feeling quite peckish with that pasta.

"Looks like your appetite is back," comments Lucifer as he lifts me up to sit on the bar stool again.

"I'm glad I wouldn't want to force a feeding tube up your nose, you lost too much weight this past month," he adds as he sits down on the barstool beside me.

"You should finish up, we have a delivery coming soon."

I roll my eyes as I twist around in my seat. Picking up my fork I shove more pasta into my mouth.

"I saw that," says Lucifer grimly.

With my mouth full I smile and say, "You were meant to."

Once I am done eating, I push the boxes away from me as I drink the rest of the water. I hear Lucifer's phone buzz and when I turn around, he has the brightest smile on his face.

"What?" I ask curiously not being able to help myself from beaming back at him. I let my fingers fiddle with the braids as I let my hair loose. The wavy hair falling down on either side of my face.

"The delivery will be here in a minute," he says walking up to me. With his fingers he tilts my chin up and kisses my lips then my nose.

Quickly, I change out of my sweats into a more comfortable pair of jeans before coming back into the living room to see a Christmas tree right in the middle of the room.

"So that's the surprise," I comment with a raised eyebrow as I walk into his side wrapping my arm around his waist. He pulls me in closer to him and kisses the side of my head.

"Do you like it?" he asks with a smile so bright on his face that it warms my heart.

"I love it, thank you."

I jump myself into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist, kissing him passionately. He has been so incredibly patient and caring with me the past month, I can't ask for anyone better to have been by my side.

I push his face closer to mines, desperate to have him closer to me, but pull away in a quiet chuckle. Who wouldn't thought that my sex drive would already be back.

"We should get started on decorating the tree now, otherwise we will never get to doing it," I say as I slide down his body. My pelvis brushing against his bulge.

With that, that's what we end up doing. Decorating the tree together like a normal couple.

It's these simple acts of human affection that makes me appreciate Lucifer the most, making me forget about what we have been through in the past. Which is completely crazy since we haven't even been together that long. How is it even possible to fall in love so deeply within just four months? How is it even possible to be in love with someone who is so far out of my reach? Maybe it's my love for him that allows me to feel, okay, after the events of the past five weeks.

It's so stupid how I just fell in love with someone who isn't even human. Jeez, someone who is the freaking Devil! This kind of stuff only happens in fantasy worlds during your favourite movie that you wish you can live out. Yet, that's exactly what I am doing right now.

I reach out to the final box left unopened, hoping to find some more decorations to fill in some of the gaps on the Christmas tree, but instead what I find is a box filled with my dad's things.

My hand immediately darts over to a frame with a picture of my dad, my sister and I. Tears prick my eyes as my fingertips brush over the image.

"What's that?" I hear Lucifer ask.

Feeling his presence walk over to me I quickly shove the photo frame back into the box, wiping the single trickled tear down my cheek.

"It's just a box of my dad's stuff," I say. My voice sounds more brittle than I would like it.

In an attempt to distract myself from having a crying attack right now, I shuffle through some paperwork while I get Lucifer to finish decorating the tree.

Sitting cross legged on the floor I reach for a small envelope. Opening it I do not expect a letter. And its directed to me! The first time I skim over it thinking it is probably nothing important. Oh, but how wrong am I!

I read over it, over and over trying to digest what is written in my dad's messy handwriting. I don't know whether I should be upset or angry about it.

Part of me what's to tear it up and throw it across the room, but at the same time it explains so many things.

Lucifer must have noticed that something is off about me right now because he sits down on the floor beside me. I hand him the letter without saying a word as he reads it.

"I guess I is right all along," he comments with a sigh after he's done reading. He hands the letter back to me, hesitantly I take it and shove it back into the envelope.

"Yeah, I guess it does," I say with clear irritation in my voice.

I stand to my feet and shove the letter into the box containing my dad's possessions, closing it up again in a rather aggressive manner.

"Anna, it's not his fault," tried Lucifer as he stands up trying to get a hold of me.

"Don't!" I protest stepping back, holding my hands up in defence.

I begin pacing around the room, running my hair through my hair wanting to grip it and rip it out with the growing infuriation within me.

"He have so many fucking occasions to tell me! But he didn't!" I shout.

Tears are threatening their appearance again. I have never been angry with my dad before, not like this, but how can he have done this to me?

"He makes me believe all those years that I is the reason he is behind bars, I felt so guilty about it and-and now it turns out that I never even stabbed him! That I'm not the murderer I grew up thinking I is. How can he have done that to me?"

I burst out crying dropping myself to my knees. Covering my face with my hands, resitting the urge to scratch my eyes out in the upsetting fury I feel. He is the one person I trusted the most that is my family, yet he betrayed me.

He tried to tell me on his death, but how can I have thought that this is what he meant?

I feel Lucifer trying to wrap his arms around me, but in frustration I pull away, pushing him away from me and I crawl up to my feet again.

"Why is everyone so against everything I do?" I ask him but there is a deeper meaning behind that questions. I realise that the more I stare at his face. His eyes narrowed in compassion, brows frowning, forming that crease that I am so fond of.

"Your father is just protecting you, you have to understand that."

Almost right in line with his words I stop crying, wiping the tears away. My face going as cold and distant as his is back at the masquerade ball.

"You know that's not what I meant," I say hard-heartedly.

His entire demeanour changes. Something dominant, yet protective of himself in a way.

"You meant the baby."

He sounds like he says it with such disgust. Why?

"I don't want to talk about that, and you aren't ready to hear what I have to say," he almost yells authoritatively.

He turns around, pushing one of the decorations boxes out of his path with his foot. Is he really thinking he can just walk away from this conversation?

"Why? Because you think I can't handle hearing you say you didn't want the baby?" I shout after him.

He pauses in his track turning around slower than any kids carousel I've witnessed.

"Just say it to my face, don't be a coward," I state bluntly.

My chest is raising more distinctively with the increased irritated movement of my lungs.

"No, I didn't want the baby."

I burst into a vexed laughter, turning away not knowing what to do with myself. I feel angry, but I also feel lost. Anytime I feel any type of emotion I would run to Lucifer for comfort. Now? I can't really do that.

Our polar opposite opinions are showing their true colours.

"Of-course you didn't, I don't know why I would ever expect someone like you to ever even want a baby with someone like me."

"Someone like me? What the fuck does that mean?"

Infuriation is emitting from his body heat which fills the vast room. invading my personal bubble in ways that makes my spine shiver, and not in a good way.

"Please, why would the big almighty King of Hell ever even want to be with a human, huh? Never mind want a baby with me."

I notice his mouth open and ready to voice his opinion, but I raise my hand in protest to his unspoken words.

"You said you want to marry me, marriage essentially involves kids, at least it does to me. I know that having a biological child with someone like you is probably not the safest, as I've heard, but it still hurts knowing that's not what you want. And I get that I didn't tell you about the pregnancy when I found out, but that's only because I is waiting for the right time, jeez, even at first, I considered an abortion-,"

"Why didn't you?" he cuts me off, catching me completely off guard. I almost look at him in repugnance once my brain registers the question he asks.

"Why would you ask me that?" I ask him.

My lips purse into a thin line and I cross my arms in front of myself. But I'm not protecting myself from him, I'm protecting myself from his answer.

"Because I'd rather lose the baby, than live the rest of my eternal life without you, don't you fucking get that? When will that get through your fucking skull? I love you! And that is never going to change!" he shouts at me.

I stifle a tremor of my muscles, taking a step back as the passion of our dispute is diluting his eyes a perfect raven colour.

"But I want the baby, can't you accept that?" I shout back equally as loud.

He lets out a chuckle.

"You don't get a choice when it comes to your health and safety."

I narrow my eyes at him. How fucking dare, he!

"It's my body, you don't get a fucking say in that!"

I shout at him so loudly it makes my throat hurt. Looks like the Devils true colours with me are being shown.

I'm so in rage with my situation, I end up stomping myself out towards the foyer, slipping into my boots and grabbing my car keys.

"Where do you think you're going?" asks Lucifer walking after me.

"Out!" I voice loud and clear before getting on the elevator which thankfully opened quickly. I walk inside, rapidly pressing the buttons to close the doors.

Much to my relief the doors shut right in his face.