Gauri didn't have any appointment until ten so she decided to do some gardening. She had bought some organic matter and a young rose plant from the Sunday market. The boundary of he building had soil but no plants. So Gauri had decided to put some of her free time in good use. It was one of the many things Mrs. Talwar had taught her.

During the weekend, Gauri and Mrs. Talwar had taken out time to only talk about Gauri and her thoughts about the whole Omkara scenario. Gauri felt lucky to have someone who cared about her well being. She had started to relaize that her mental state affected Mrs.Talwar and Anika as well. Anika was sort of against the whole meeting Omkara thing. 

Gauri didn't blame Anika. If she were in Anika's shoes maybe she would have also thought it was best to keep Omkara away. But Mrs. Talwar had different perspective. Mrs. Talwar felt that Gauri should actually take this as an opportunity to make peace.

Gauri had made up her mind, finally. If at any point she thought that she was falking for Omkara again or if meeting him was having a negative impact on her she'd ask him to leave. 

"Good morning!" Gauri heard a voice and she was almost sure it was Omkara. She looked over her shoulder, to find Omkara standing with a bright smile.

"Hi!" He said waving his hand. 

Gauri looks on confused. She stood up and noticed he was wearing the watch. "What time is it?"

"Uh, fifteen minutes past nine." Omkara answered. The whole weekend he had been waiting for Monday morning. 

Gauri looked at him doubtfully, "Wasn't it the ten o'clock slot?" She asked.

"Yeah," he answered.

"Then what are you doing here so early?" Gauri asked, crouching back to resume what she had been doing.

"I ..actually traffic. I thought there would be a lot of traffic so I left home early." He explained.

"I am not flexing the session time."

"Sure, no problem." Omkara said with a smile. He noticed her pretty fingers using the trowel. Dedicatedly she was shifting the soil. He noticed the rose plant beside her.

Roses were favorite. His lips curved up as a beautiful memory from the past surfaced in his mind.

"Om, Om, Om!" Gauri was yelling. 

"Stop shouting will you, Gauri!" He said shutting the door. "The walls are thin, neighbors will get all the wrong ideas." He spoke making his way to the small kitchen of their apartment. 

"Its our first month anniversary, and you are late. Anyways, try this.." no longer had the Omkara's mind had registered what she was staing, a spoonful of something was in his mouth.

His face scrunched up, before he started understanding the taste. "Pizza sauce?"

"Bingo!" Gauri smiled widely.

"You're making Pizza?" He asked surprised.

Gauri nodded, "aye!" She took a brief bow. "And you're just in time. Where were you by the way?" She inquired placing a hand on her hip turning her body to face his.

"I, wait.." he smiled. "Close your eyes!" 

Gauri did as she was told. 

He took the single rose out from the cover. He steppe closer and traced her cheeks using he petals.

Gayri opened her eyes to see what was touching her. A beautiful red rose. She smiled but soon that smile turned into a frown. 

"Happy first month!"

"You got me a single rose?" 

Omkara's smile faded. "It thought you like roses."

"I do, but just one rose?"

"You wanted me to buy you a rose garden?"

Gauri's eyes lit up, "that would be so nice!"

Omkara stared at her. "You seriously don't like this?" He said waving the well wrapped rose that he had spent three dollars on. Being an Indian he had to find that expensive.

Gauri smiled, "No it's nice. But next time, maybe something more than a single rose, okay?"

Omkara looked at her perplexed. "I don't understand. Do you like it or not?"

"I like roses and love red roses."

"Then why the whole debate?"

Gauri huffed, "Oh Om! Because I would rather have you paint a picture of me or buy me a pendant or anything that I can treasure instead of a rose that will eventually turn to dust."

"Everything eventually turns to dust!" Omkara said and Gauri looked up at him.

"We are running our first month anniversary by drifting into philosophical discussion. Let me make this right.." saying that Gauri stepped forward got on her toes and placed a kiss on his cheek.

Omkara smiled and quickly returned the gesture. "I will find something to act as a vase for this!"

"Sure!" She uttered getting back to her first time pizza.

Omkara glanced at her and smiled.

"I think it's your phone!" Omkara realized he had zoned out. He nodded pocketing out his phone. Zoya. He sighed muttering, "excuse me," and turned around to talk.

Gauri looked at him intently. He had this weird habit of zoning out. She turned her head back to soil hearing his voice clear enough. "What is it?" Way to start a conversation, Gauri thought to herself.

"I just called to remind you about the meeting at ten thirty." He heard Zoya say. "And, you can say a hello instead of snapping at the very beginning."

Omkara sighed, "Sorry. I forgot to mention that I am busy in that time slot. Push it to something after lunch perhaps?"

"Excuses excuses..."

"Zoya!" Omkara cut her off. "I am have a session with..  the therapist!"

"Oh! Sorry, I didn't know."

"You don't have to be sorry, I forgot to mention it. Just reschedule will yaa?" Omkara said. Off late Zoya had been very helpful despite the fact that he kept snapping at her for no reason and was always irritable or rude. Even Shivaay had mentioned to him that Zoya was a wonderful person and that he better give her the respect she deserves. "And, Zoya... I am sorry."

"Damn, the therapist is too good. Does she gives discounts, some of my friends who take me for granted could see her!"

Omkara smiled, "Get back to work."

"Okay, Boss. You let the therapist know that she has my well wishes."

Gauri blinked, remembering the smiley secretary. 

"Can I help you?" Omkara asked walking towards her. He crouched beside her.

"Yes, by giving me some space." Gauri said with a toothed sarcastic smile. 

"So, Monday morning blues?" He asked ignoring all the attitudes he was throwing his way.

"None of your business." She said curtly not bothering to look at him.

"You know roses are high maintenance, plus they need a lot of sunlight." He said informatively.

Gauri did not respond. She was smart enough to tell that he was trying to get her into a conversation. Gauri started humming turning herself slightly away from him. 

Omkara stood up and decided to take a walk around instead of bothering her. It was strange how he wanted to get her to talk to him like she spoke to Shivaay or Anika, with so much life and affection. Was he pushing himself into the same Bobby trap again? 

The still loved Gauri and he knew she wasn't exactly responsible for whatever had happened to them. It was more of his doing. Still, there were so many if only scenarios in his head. 

Omkara knew that she was what he wanted. He didn't just want to make peace with the past. He wanted Gauri back. He wanted to be able to love her again. No one ever spoke of how addictive loving was. Omkara had refrained from loving anyone in the past few years. And now that Gauri was before him, he wanted to go back to that same habit of loving. He wanted to do little things to bring a smile to her face. He wanted to throw his arm around her and kiss her head like he used to. 

But the question that bothered him was, did she want all of that? She didn't seem to. 

* * *

"So, what do you want to talk about?" Gauri asked opening the diary on her lap. She used her fingers to straighten the page. She could actually feel he heartrate pick up. This wasn't going to be easy.

"I will tell you what broke my heart."

Gauri gazed at him. She needed to be strong to hear it all.

"Gauri, that night.."

"Can you..." gauri said interrupting him immediately. "Not refer to me."

Omkara nodded. The walk around had evoked to many thoughts, questions and possibilities in Omkara's mind. He had decided to not dodge anymore. He wasn't really scared to open up before Gauri. He didn't know how she would react, but he definitely had nothing to lose.

"Fine. So, there was this girl I loved." Omkara's eyes didn't shift of her face. She was looking at the blank page of the diary. "We were at a friend's party. I went around to meet others while she sat with few girl friends catching up on some girl talk. I returned to find no where. Worried sick I went hunting for her. To find her making out with another man in a dmily lit room. She was under him on the couch." Omkara's words came out sharper. It was as though he was reliving that same scene over and over. 

"The same guy who kissed her on his first day at the University. The same guy she started getting friendlier with behind my back." 

Gauri tightened her jaw but was unable to even look up. "Maybe she wasn't willingly doing what she was doing. Maybe you should have..." she looked up to finally meet his eyes, "given her  a chance to explain herself that night instead of just leaving. Instead of ignoring her."

Omkara fell into a silence. He could make out the sheen in her eyes. "Why did she have to break my trust and befriend him?"

"Whatever she did, she did. Why didn't you trust her enough if you loved her?"

Omkara lowered his gaze. "It hurt that night. In that few minutes I realized that ..." unable to complete his sentence he looked up at her.

"Realized what?"

"That I could lose something that I never wanted to lose. Something that meant the world to me." His words slowly escape dhis lips and he looked at her earnestly. He could feel the Lawyer of tears in his eyes. 

Gauri sat silently staring at him.

"Jealousy is the worst things to experience especially if it hits right you on the face giving you a reality check. I still can't erase that meory6from my mind. It's so deep embedded that even if I drink to the verge of passing out, I can still remember. You have no clue, how far I have gone to erase that memory. I couldn't."

Gauri swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. 

"Tell me, is there a way I can forget it?"

Gauri had no words to say. She really hadn't experienced jealousy first hand. She stared at him. He had never really given her an opportunity to feel jealous. 

"Why didn't you tell her if you were jealous?"

Omkara scoffed sitting back on the couch. "Why didn't she think of telling me that she had befriended the guy who had forced himself on her?"

Omkara's questions were like a reality check on Gauri's face. "Maybe she believed that people changed. That people made mistakes and that one chance should be given to them to correct it."

"What a wonderful chance!" Omkara scoffed.

Gauri looked away. She didn't like the way he moved her decisions. "That doesn't answer the question I asked. "If you were so insecure of her friendship with the guy why didn't you question her about it, why didn't you tell her what you felt?" 

Omkara scoffed yet again, shifting forward, "Reality check Gauri. I asked you about it. I asked you if that guy you were talking to was Liam outside the cafeteria. You just simply brushed it off pretending to be unaware about what I was asking. I asked you many times who you were with and you only said classmate. You didn't bother to tell me that you spent time in library with Liam. I am not stupid."

Gauri looked at him. She was guilty as charged.

"Despite everything I still wanted to give you that chance Gauri. Two days after the party, Monday afternoon I dropped by your class. Another memory that I can't erase from here!" Omkara said, pressing his finger tips against his forehead, his words like powerful blows wounding Gauri blissfully unaware.

He got off the sofa. "You have no clue Gauri, how hurt I have been. Just once, step into my shoes and see, maybe you'll at least understand what went down on me." Saying that he stormed out of the room. 

Tears rolled down Gauri's cheeks. A little happy to know that he loved her enough to be uprooted by whatever happened and a lot more sad that, she had lost so much owing to her past. He didn't even wait for her answer and just walked away. How was this different from the past?

-Anami!♡