Gauri stood by the window, her arms hugging her as the breeze blew against her frame. She had lost the number of times, that scene in the passageway had looped in her mind. Her fingers lazily reached the part of her cheek where he had kissed her. 

A lone tear appeared in her eye. Why did she long for him? Her eyes started to get a thicker layer of sheen. She remembered the nights she spent crying and praying to God to hurt him like he had hurt her. People in love don't do that, right? There is selflessness in love. She couldn't be in love if she wanted him to be hurt right? 

* * *

Omkara whistled a tune as he got ready for the day. He was going to meet Kashish, Shivaay's legal advisor about the Abdulla matter. Clearly, they had played the foul while setting up the agreement. Omkara couldn't really put the blame on Zoya. She looked over more than her job profile asked her to. She took care of his portion of work too when he wasn't around. She was human and it was really okay, if she didn't see the scam happening right under her nose. Two times of the apparent budget had been applied to do the decor of their home. 

He sighed, although it was one of the most expensive trouble he had faced so far, he knew Shivaay's legal team would find a solution to it. All he was concerned about was Gauri. Yesterday, he finally felt that they were making some progress to act on their feelings. He was buttoning up the shirt when he noticed the diary she had given him. His smile faded. He took the first piece of cloth his hand landed on and put it over the distracting piece.

"Good morning everybody!" He greeted and took his place on the dining table. "What's for breakfast?" He said with delight look at the dishes.

"Omkara, it's Monday morning. Poha is for breakfast." Shivaay said looking at Omkara amused. They said sometimes trouble makes a person act crazy. Instead of being worried, Omkara seemed happy. Something didn't fit the picture.

Shivaay wasn't the only one to notice Omkara's upbeat attitude on a Monday morning where he would crib about the same thing being cooked for breakfast.

"A special day today?" Rudra asked curiously.

"Yeah, I might sue the Abdullas today for cheating! It will be the first ever court case I will be involved in." Omkara appeared to be too thrilled about it to the others.

Shakti let out a laughter. "I like how you're dealing with this problem."

Omkara forced a smile wondering why everyone was staring at him with awkward smiles.

"It's good, you should be this cheerful everyday!" Pinky remarked sitting beside Shakti, placing the glass of bottle gourd juice beside his plate.

"What Pinky, every other day this boring juice!" Shakti complained only to get a deadly threatening stare in return. He smiled and started sipping the juice like he was drinking the sweetest nectar. Omkara smiled, was he really so strikingly cheerful?

* * *

"Hi, Gauri!" Omkara greeted cheerfully entering her room.

Gauri cocked her head in the direction to notice his bright smile. "Seems like your matter from last night got solved," she remarked placing the book aside while he walked up to the table and took a seat on the chair beside her.

"Nah, it's a very weak case. But Kashish said that she will try to at least recover half the amount we are losing to them."

"Oh, anyway, let's start with the usual!" She said pushing the graphotherapy book towards him.

"How has your sleep quality been from past few days?"

"Better!" He answered picking up the blue ink ball point pen she pushed his way.

"That's good," she commented and started reading an article on the newspaper while he busied himself with the graphotherapy.  Occasionally, she looked over his shoulder to see if he was doing it right. 

Once he was done with that, Gauri decided to bring up the topic she had wanted to talk about on Saturday.

"Let's talk about Rudra today. You're in a relationship with him. I know you are close to Jiju...Shivaay. "

"I am close to Rudra as well." Omkara asserted rather defensively.

Gauri nodded her head. She had realised that attacking Omkara with something he was uncomfortable to speak about was the only way to get things out of him because he got very defensive. She just had to cleverly manipulate him into actually talking what he felt instead of running away.

"Does it never bother you that he's your half brother?"

"No." Came his answer. She noticed how his mood was changing. His gaze dodged away from hers.

Gauri noticed his hand on the table. Her fingers flexed as she wondered if she should touch his hand. Taking a deep breath, she relaxed and slowly placed her hand on his. "I read in the old documentation that you didn't really like Rudra as a kid."

Omkara didn't reply and neither did he look at her.

Gauri gave a light squeeze to his hand. That did it, he slowly turned to her. "Yeah, I didn't like him."

"What changed?" Gauri asked keeping a soft tone.

"I don't know. I think the therapy back then helped. Choti Maa and Daadi used to keep telling me that Rudra is my brother. Like Shivaay always protects me and is there for me I should be that way for Rudra. Plus, you know, Rudra grew up into an adorable boy. He used to always be around saying O, O, O. With time, I started developing a soft corner for him."

"Although, you don't really show that softness to him. Always reprimanding him and making that dont mess with me face." Gayri pointed out.

Omkara smiled, "It's always been like that. But I think we've established that understanding. And, I also smile and joke with him I am not just all glares and snarls."

Gauri's lips curved up. "He doesn't know right? That you're his half brother."

Omkara's smile dissolved. "No, he doesn't. And I will never let him know."

"Do you think anything between you two will change, if he knows the truth?"

"I don't know... but I want him to have a perfect picture of his parents... that I don't!"

Gauri's eyes moistened and her gaze softened. She gently caressed his palm. "How is your relationship with your father?"

"Very, namesake I feel. I mean... maybe he does care and stuff.  But it's not as deep as it shoudl be. I mean I have grown up seeing Chote Papa and Shivaay... and Choti Maa. They both are what parents are supposed to be. They are supposed to be there for you."

"You don't like the fact that your parents never stayed at home with you," Gauri asked more than remarked.

"No. I mean... maybe I expected too much." He said looking defeated.

"It's not your fault Omkara. You know when babies are born, its preferred to have skin-to-skin time in the first hour after birth. The mother's touch. It helps regulate the baby' temperature, heart rate, and breathing. Babies need all the attention. You know how a baby stops crying when taken in arms. That's just law of nature. "

"Some researches have even revealed that babies who are not held, nuzzled, and hugged enough can stop growing, and if the situation lasts long enough, even die."

Omakra listened on with complete attention.

"Om, you lost your biological mother very soon after you birth. Even though you didn't know you missed her and nothing could replace her. She was your source. So whatever it is that you feel is because of that lack of that. Your brain didn't learn how to make attachments. You're

"You're totally not to be blamed if you just couldn't except your new mother. I don't know how she brought you up. But it's not your fault if you didn't get the attention a kid deserves. You didn't have fancy expectations Om. What you wanted was... natural need. Everyone wants to be loved and cherished."

Omkara had tears rolling down his cheek as he listened to her. Gauri went in the flow of emotions and held his hand in hers. "You should stop blaming yourself for not liking Rudra or being a difficult child on the past Omkara."

Omkara nodded rubbing his tears off using the back of his other hand and looking away. 

Gauri lefts his hand and her hands reached out to his face. Before she even knew, she was up from her chair and had her hands around him. He held onto arms hiding his face against her shirt as he began sobbing.

Gauri kissed his head, rubbing his back slowly. "It's okay, Om. It is okay!" She comforted him.

Minutes later Omkara pulled away from her. His tears had disappeared but the redness in his eyes held testimony to his breakdown.

"I will just use the washroom." Saying that he excused himself. 

Gauri stood there steadily realizing that she hadn't been his therapist in those minutes. She had been the Gauri he loved. The realization was bitter. She feared this all along. She knew Omkara's past was going to melt her heart. After knowing everything he had been through, her natural instinct was to protect him, including the bitterness that laid buried in her heart. 

Gauri turned around as her eyes welled up with tears. Omkara needed to be loved, protected, cared for. What was she even doing? She was giving him hope that she didn't want to nurture.

She gasped inaudibly as she felt his arms around her. She could feel his breath fan her ears. "Thank you, thank you, Gauri." He said. 

Gauri felt as though she was giving him that ounce of fresh air before choking him to death. Gauri didn't respond when he withdrew his arms. She just stood rooted to the spot. 

"I will see you tomorrow," she heard him say but her mind was still dazed.

She quietly turned and nodded briefly. She stared at his retreating figure until he was out of the room. This wasn't fair to him or her. They were rapidly becoming more than bitter past for each other. The alarm was blaring loud and clear. 

Gauri stood there leaning against the table, torn between saving Omkara or saving their hearts from breaking as the other demons of past surfaced up.

* * *

I don't know why I am even writing this. But I need to. Today for the first time it struck me why Gauri was an exception to everything, why I needed her more than anything. She understands all my unspoken insecurities and fears. I cried today and for the first time I felt that someone heard my silent cries. Someone felt the need to wipe those tears away. 

Gauri has always been special, ever since I met her.

But now, she's becoming a lifeline. She makes me love myself when I am with her. My life suddenly happens to have more meaning. She heals me.

Hope you liked it!

-Anami!♡