KAIROSCLEROSIS: THE MOMENT WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU'RE HAPPY

In the afternoon, after my classes were over and lunch hour was already way past as well I couldn't but inwardly curse Mr. Kim, our course lecturer of law who always had to bind us to our seats making his lectures extra boring and extra lengthy.

Changkyun and Hanbyul weren't quiet about it though, their mouths were as foul as they could get, uttering violent words that were confined among us three.

"Really who are you calling a nasty and crumby ass jerk when you play video games stark naked during your midnight endeavors?" I jeered at Changkyun.

He and Hanbyul both looked bemused.

"I'm right?" I asked but both only stared at me, halting in their tracks.

"Yeah?" Changkyun didn't look a bit embarrassed, only horrified— probably at the idea that I somehow got to know about this after I'd been acting so 'strange and creepy'.

"I just had a hunch," I lied gleefully. I had asked Hyungwon what could I have possibly tell Chankgyun that would knock him out and that only he would know.

Hyungwon casually told me about the naked part, impassive as he said so. Overall, that made it even funnier.

"You should be a fortune teller really, Sunny, you could pull this off," Hanbyul said. If I didn't know her better I would've thought she was really trying to convince me.

She twirled a tendril of her long hair around her finger. She had them tied up on two high pigtails today, and she had a short skirt with knee-high long socks. Her dressup style changed frequently. Right now she was influenced by anime girls. "I thought it was quite creepy the first time I hung out in his place. I got used to it."

"You hang out till midnight?" I questioned. Under my gaze Hanbyul looked stupefied.

"Well, it's a sleepover," she retorted and then abruptly changed the subject. "I'm hungry."

"So am I," I said. It was a sight to see her getting teased about her 'romantic' relationship when it was always me at the other end of it. Changkyun and Hanbyul were always too casual for me to bring anything up. Though now that I think about it, that could have been me who never paid extra attention.

"How about we get some rice cakes today?" Changkyun was on his phone, scrolling rapidly. "A new restaurant opened up near the South campus."

I would've joined them for a late afternoon lunch slash snack if my phone didn't ring right that second and I almost didn't have a heart attack realizing it was a text message from Wonho. He was finally texting me, after three days of ghosting me. He wanted to meet up.

"You guys go on without me." I discreetly thrust my phone back into my jeans pocket. When I got the questioning looks I decided it didn't matter if I hid my enthusiastic self. "Wonho texted me. I'm going to wait for him here."

"Yeah, no wonder you said no to food," Hanbyul remarked.

Chankgyun hoisted his bag up to his shoulder, deadpanning at me. "I can't believe after three days of disappearing you're the first one he notified."

"Jealousy," Hanbyul crooned. Changkyun rolled his eyes at this.

After seeing both off I made myself a seat on the tiled floor near the end of the balcony of the social science faculty building. It was the third floor and one could observe a good portion of the campus, or at least the garden and the far off business administration building from there. The art faculty was so distant it only looked like a box made of cardboard from that far.

Bored with the sightseeing I slid off to the back until my back hit the mural decorated wall. There was a black and blue butterfly intricately painted there, and a text in italic above that said 'life is short'.

This corner was a place where students would take pictures of themselves, posing with the mural. Today it was empty, save for me who was there. And the wide frame of the boy in a short-sleeved white and blue button-up, paired with black pants who silently walked up and sat beside me against the wall.

Wonho laid the books that were in his hands on the floor, and he just sat in silence for a good while. "Hey," he finally said.

"Hi."

He was mulling over things by himself. His head lolled to a side, eyes leaden. The sun was at that point in the sky where it wasn't reflecting much light. There were shadows of his eyelashes on his cheekbones.

Wonho definitely looked like he had lost a few pounds in those few days. His pale skin looked sandy and rough. Though he still looked so beautiful, in a sad way. Or at least that's what he seemed to me.

I suddenly remembered what Hyungwon had said the other night. He's going to die.

My pulse jolted, my inner self telling me to respond. "So, um, how did your days go?"

What I meant was, what happened? Where were you?

"I, it was okay," he was brought back to life. His eyes wide open but he was staring ahead. "I'm sorry I didn't call you, or text you. It's, um, I was okay. It's just I needed to take care of my mum."

He looked at me after his last sentence, his eyes looked fatigued and I just couldn't but help feel a pull at my heartstrings.

"Is your mom okay now?"

"Yeah, she is!" He smiled a little. "How were you? How are you now?"

"Well, it's been some crazy days." I couldn't possibly tell him about the endless hours I'd spent thinking about time traveling, and the whole ordeal with my neighbor, the second-floor tenant Hyungwon.

I actually wanted to tell him, a little. Just to see his reaction, or maybe see him laugh and this time meaning it. "I thought you were avoiding me at first," I said instead.

"Why would I do that?" He was shocked, he didn't hide that expression a bit.

Now, this was more like him, eyes glimmering with curiosity and ready to react to each of my words.

"After that, you know—" I felt shy. He only leaned his head towards me more, wide eyes fixed on me.

"You know that kiss, on your cheek," I flushed in red as I blurted out.

He leaned back, a slight crinkle in the middle of his eyebrows. As if he was asking me 'what's that gotta do with it'.

"I kissed your cheek, without your consent," so I explained, "it must've been shocking. I should've asked your permission first."

He looked like he couldn't fully comprehend my words, that's what his incredulous face said. After he did though, he burst into a fit of giggles. He laughed so hard even I had to join in with him. It took him a good while to fully sober up. When he did, his entire face was red for laughing so much.

"That's what you've been overthinking about?"

"Yeah, that." And time travel.

"To tell you honestly, it was a bit shocking," he nodded as he said to me. "So was you abruptly asking me out on a date a while back."

"I'm sorry," I mumbled an apology.

"Those were the best things that had happened to me, in a really long while," he said after.

Our gazes were interlocked, it wasn't the kind where you drown each other in, but there was this limpid peacefulness to it. Almost like floating in a bathtub filled with rosewater.

I glanced away first, as I did that, I inched closer to him. The sides of our arms were brushing with each other. It was a hot day, hot summer but he was cold.

"Do you want to go on a date again?" The walls of my throat were encircling in their own, it took some effort to speak.

I didn't know why I felt so happy, yet so despondent. It felt like I was on a carousel and it was going round and round in a speed that I loved the most. But the song was winding down, and I knew soon the ride would come to an end.

Nothing good was everlasting. Everything was so transitory. Nonetheless, before the ride ended I could buy a ticket and hope for another go.

"Yeah," he answered.

I could try to make his fate change. Because he was the best thing that had happened to me too.

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A/n: have you ever been in love?

Two decades of my life has already passed but I've never been in love. That's okay, I think. Platonic love works too and I feel a load of it. Like the way I love you guys. Plus I'm proud of this chapter I don't know why.