PARALIAN: A PERSON WHO LIVES NEAR THE SEA

Things happened according to the plan. Hyungwon and I met up with the others at the dingy old karaoke place that was actually situated near the library.

Hyungwon's wardrobe was pretty limited, consisting of a few mundane sweatshirts, shirts, tees, trousers, and jeans. He never put any effort into his clothing style. And, as usual, he wore a white shirt and his faded blue jeans. The white shirt was the brightest pair of clothing he had there.

I tried to dress up a little for the occasion, but while skimming over my outfits I found nothing that caught my eyes. The truth was, I didn't even know what I wanted to wear. After pondering over it a while, and ransacking my whole closet upside down, I went with a white summer dress with navy blue floral prints. I added a small hair clip in the shape of a dainty butterfly on the side of my short hair to look a bit decent. Circled around my wrist was the bracelet Wonho gave me.

We met the others outside the karaoke bar around evening. We had dinner at an udon place outside. Minhyuk paid the bill since it was his party. Shortly after that, we were back to the Karaoke bar again, albeit, this time inside. I thought a hell lot of people would come judging by how friendly and popular type of person Minhyuk seemed to me. But it was just us.

Kihyun, Shownu, Changkyun, Hanbyul, Jooheon, Hyungwon, Wonho, of course, it was him whom I'd tried to dress up for anyway, and lastly me.

Hyungwon was a disappearing shadow of someone at a morbid evening, as he had chameleon-ed himself greatly amongst the crowd. Amidst Minhyuk's boisterously loud voice and playful introductions, Hyungwon had gone pretty much unnoticed by the others.

I could almost feel him tensed around the shoulders, the discomfort growing within him. He took the far end of the rectangular table inside the room we had booked, just so no one else had to sit beside him but me. As an understanding accomplish, I sat by his side. Hanbyul sat beside me.

On the opposite side of the table, Wonho sat right across facing me. As Minhyuk counted the heads, I found Wonho staring at me, just like he had been since the start of the night.

A deep red blush, like the color of the jacket he was wearing adorned his full cheeks before he looked away.

"Okay. Who wants to go first? Y'all have to sing and dance your hearts out today because I won't be free to hangout from here on," Minhyuk announced as he plopped down on his seat.

"Plot twist, the music majors here have to sing first," Changkyun said jokingly. Kihyun groaned loudly in response, but he took it upon himself and got up anyway.

Kihyun chose an old folk song, and the lyrics started to appear on the lit screen a few feet away before us. Standing on the empty space laid upon, he started to sing with the gloomy music blaring out of the soundboxes, swaying his body slightly to the sides. His voice flowed in the air, surprisingly gentle, unlike his outer self. The room grew quiet for a while, and I felt myself letting out a breath I was holding in. Hyungwon visibly relaxed beside me.

"Have I seen you somewhere, my dude?" Jooheon suddenly spoke, holding a bag of chips in his hand and intently observing Hyungwon's face.

Hyungwon went stoic again. "Right? Minhyuk said, bemused.

Shownu spoke after that, "I am not going to lie, I feel like I've seen you somewhere before too."

"He was a child actor," the words tumbled down my mouth before I could comprehend. A soft sound of realization erupted from the boys.

"You should've said so first. Changkyun and I thought he looked familiar too," Hanbyul commented. I only made a humming sound and took a bottle of beer off the table to avoid their eyes. I could sense Hyungwon glancing at my way too.

"Am I the only one who didn't have this déjà vu?" Wonho said, eyes circling around to meet the others. "Maybe because I didn't watch a lot of TV when I was a kid."

"Good old, nice kid Wonho. So predictable," Minhyuk laughed before getting up and taking the mic off Kihyun, who looked glad to finally give his place to someone.

"Do you guys know how Sunny met Hyungwon for the first time?" Changkyun shot up from his seat, put his hands on the wooden surface of the oak table and smiled mischievously. "Why don't you tell them Sunny."

I had the urge to roll my eyes but instead, I took a gulp at the beer and popped a potato chip inside my mouth. "It's a long story, you guys will get bored."

Nonetheless, I started on it when I felt a nudge on my arm from Hanbyul, and a comment from Wonho that he really wanted to hear it, and he looked so too.

It all reeled back to the beginning of it all, to the night I had first met Wonho before the kendo club, which received a whoosh from the crowd, and a prominent blush from Wonho (and secretly, me too), and then it got to the pepper spray part where everyone laughed loudly, and Hyungwon cleared his throat in discomfort.

I told them a lot, and hid a lot from them. On the surface level, Hyungwon would only seem like an eccentric and misfortunate young male, who had co indentally become my second-floor neighbor.

The story was fun, just like a journalist who wrote lifestyle and culture blogs (or at least aspired to be) would say so.

The idea brought a string of stories from the others, like Jooheon getting a dare from these boys to walk through a haunted house alone in a fair they had visited— and after Jooheon almost, in his own words, shat his pants. Shownu talked about his funny experience in the army, that he dislocated his shoulder trying to throw a fake grenade.

Changkyun talked about his life in Boston as a kid and also sang a nirvana song in karaoke with his perfect American accent but not so perfect way of singing.

Minhyuk talked a lot, joked a lot. Wonho was quiet, but after hearing about Minhyuk's pet dog he told a story of his cat, who chewed up his entire favorite loafers, and then he mentioned that the cat was dead. I remembered and it made me sad, but I didn't say anything.

When Jooheon and Hanbyul were having a sing-off, Jooheon singing a few GOT7 and bigbang songs, and Hanbyul, of course singing her favourite band BTS, I realized that Hyungwon had by then dissolved out of his comfort zone.

He was casually slipping his bony hands in the bawls of dry snacks before us and munching on them. He answered when anyone asked him small questions, smiled at the funny notes with the rest of the others.

His eyes looked shinier in the dark light of the karaoke room. Like water, he mixed well in the environment. He miraculously fit so much with the boys, it felt like he had always belonged here. This was his place. He was not only close to their age, but I felt that there was more.

It then dawned on me, that even if no one knew him better, he knew each of these boys and girl well. He knew their pasts and their futures. It was as if he had a few of their parts in him, all this summing up and dwelling inside of him. Only he knew of their predicaments and their impending futures.

Including mine.

If he was to ever leave us, again, because he was unable to stop Wonho from dying— I looked at Wonho, smiling gleefully at Changkyun now telling what it seemed like a scandalous story— I could only wonder what would happen to me? How was I, in this part of the universe, paralleled with multiple others, cope with the grief of losing him?

I thought I had started to cry silently, but in reality, I had fallen asleep under the influence of the alcohol I was constantly consuming there.

When I came to, the bar was playing a Japanese pop song from the '90s, the faint beats of synthetic city wave knocking my conscience back to where it belonged. Wonho was seated by my side, fiddling with an empty beer bottle. The rest were gone.

"Where are they?" The insides of my mouth felt sandy, my voice harsh yet weak.

Again, it struck me as odd how I didn't feel one ounce of trepidation being along with him, at a gloomy bar, late at night. I was fully awake now and I kept thinking over it, how I always had this sense of security whenever I was with Wonho. From the day I had met him.

His eyes smiled, even if his mouth didn't. He looked as gentle as he always seemed.

"Hanbyul was drunk so Changkyun took her home. Minhyuk and Jooheon got drunk too and Shownu took them to their places. Hyungwon left earlier than them all—"

"Leaving you to escort me home," I completed.

The eye smile reached his lips. "Yes," he said.

"Lead me the way then, your majesty." I got up, smoothing down my now crinkled dress.

"Of course, Scheherazade."

The summer night filled with stars greeted us outside. The sky was clear today. A murky smell of a lingering rain shower from the last days remained. The breeze was soft touching my legs, the streets were bare, and right then, it felt like only two of us belonged in this whole world.

I looked up to find there was no moon in the sky, but my side was Wonho, his red jacket now on his shoulder, an off-white tee clad on his body.

Somewhere, in a place paralleled to this, a Sunny could be crying because of a dead Wonho.

I felt a pang of sharp pain in my chest, and quite rapidly it started to grow like an infectious virus. I needed to do something.

So I took his free hand in mine, hesitantly, softly, implying I'd let go after observing his reaction.

His face immediately gave it away that he was shocked, then he breathed out and looked ahead. He held my hand firmly, but he didn't say anything.

The walk to my home was painfully short, and the road ahead was ending too quickly. "Wonho," I said, almost hastily. I gained a look my way from him.

I now slowed down, making him halt right under a lamp post close to my place. I knew I wasn't under the influence of alcohol anymore, or maybe I was, but if circumstances were different I had the feeling that I would be doing the same thing. After all, I was pretty impulsive without even knowing it.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" I said.

I didn't know if Wonho looked paler than his usual complexion because of my out of the blue confession, or because of the light that reflected on his skin from the lamp post.

He didn't say anything in reply. He took me to the staircase of the building like the gentleman he was, and then he turned around and left.

Without sparing another glance behind. 

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A/n: does anyone else feel like they're always running out of time too?