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NOTE:
THIS IS A WARNING. Abortion will be mentioned in this chapter. My characters values/decisions do not necessarily reflect mine! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter and don't forget to vote, comment, and share.

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1 7 | Until There Was You

Almost a week passed since Jude spent the night at Waverly's house. Quite frankly, he missed most of it. He missed the homely feeling that bled through every corner of her house, and the welcoming way he never had to question being alone. Where he had to wake up in the darkness hoping that someone would be there. Now, he was currently sitting in his basement playing video games with Lincoln while Waverly watched in the background. Although it was a very biased opinion, Jude considered it being better than nothing at all.

On top of that, it was the first time Waverly had actually been inside Jude's house. He tried to pay that fact less attention, especially when he gave her a small tour of the house before they entered the basement. There were snacks spread on the table: cookies, chips, and unopened sodas. In Jude's peripheral vision he watched Waverly plop down on the sofa, curling her feet under her. Her socks were covered in snowflakes, which made Waverly all the more vibrant.

"Can I try next?" she asked, watching Jude and Lincoln smash the buttons as quickly as they could. Lincoln snorted under his breath.

"You think you can beat me at my own game?" he questioned without dropping his focus from what was important that moment.

"I mean, I've been watching you guys play for a while and Jude's beaten you. It can't be too hard," she teased, shrugging and reaching over Jude for his controller.

"Give her the controller, Lockhart. She's talking trash." Jude, however, hardly had time to properly hand over the entity because Waverly took the liberty in taking it in spite of Jude's uncertainty. Just as the controller was being snatched out of his grip his phone began to ring. Jude snuck a peak at the screen, discovering that it was Beverly. Jude stood up and hid away in a corner toward the back of the basement. It was a spot he knew Waverly and Lincoln wouldn't hear his conversation. Maybe, it would've been smart if he left the basement altogether to answer the call.

"Is everything alright?" Jude questioned in a low voice that wasn't quite a whisper.

"I'm fine," she replied. "It's the baby."

Jude's head nearly snapped up at that. Then, he lowered his head and put an arm against the wall. His heart raged in fits of panic, vibrating in his chest. He could feel his own shock in the way his hand held onto the phone tighter; it wasn't going to make whatever problem Beverly had go away. In spite of the information, Jude swallowed and grasped onto the voice which seemingly slipped away. He cleared his throat, ruffling up his hair with his free hand.

"What happened?" he asked.

He shut his eyes as if bracing himself for the potential wave of hardships to come. There had to be bad news. He could hear it in her tone, laced with details—Jude wasn't fond of those. Regardless, he listened because there could have been something Jude could help with.

"I thought it'd be a good idea for you to come with me to the ultrasound," she suggested and in response he released a breath, one he hadn't known he was holding until she spoke. In the background, he could hear Waverly and Lincoln battling out their differences and trash-talking alongside it.

"Taste that, bitch!" Waverly shouted, which made Jude turn his head. He was met with Waverly standing and pointing a finger at Lincoln. Then, there was Lincoln's not-so-settle retorts and cocky murmurs that caused Jude to laugh at how serious the game had become for the both of them. Jude easily knew he could beat the both of them with no effort at all. Jude targeted his attention back to his phone again.

"What was that?" Beverly said on the other end.

"Nothing," Jude said quickly with a little, boyish smile. The ones he used to give when he was younger, playing at the park with his former group of friends. He thought he was happy then, and maybe he was. Finally. This time, though, his smile seemed more genuine than any of the ones that echoed in his past. "What time do you want me to be there?"

"In the next hour. I'll text you the address," she informed. It got quiet between them for a bit, until Beverly started talking again. "Thank you for this, Jude. I know you're going to be a great father."

Then, the line went dead and he couldn't control the way Beverly's words had lounged their way into his head as if it had suddenly been the only thing that mattered. Almost as if it were the most important thing to him. He stood there for a millisecond, gazing at the floor, then glanced at the pool table with the covering spread over it. He slipped his phone into his pocket and made it back to the area where Lincoln and Waverly sat, still bickering over who was the better player. Jude tried to pretend that nothing spectacular happened, plopping down on the couch and placing an arm on the back of it.

"Who's winning?" he asked.

At first, they didn't pay him any attention because their concentration had been too focused on the massive screen in front of them. Eventually, Waverly replied without tearing her eyes away from her main motive.

"He's up by two kills," she muttered and Jude replied with a low nod, gazing back at the game. Elation began to swell in his chest and his mind wandered off to the one thing that frightened him more than anything at that time. He began to tap his fingers against the sofa. In the midst of things, Waverly had somehow caught up and the score had been tied. Jude looked at Waverly's hands gripping the life out of the controller. Her hair had been in two curly, wild puffs and she looked younger. Her lip was curled in her mouth and she was leaning forward, getting closer and closer with anticipation.

She looked different.

"You little fucker!" Waverly gritted out when Lincoln shot her character in the back and received the last kill of the game. The loading screen replaced the previous match. Waverly was practically seething as she stared back at it.

"Rematch. I want a rematch," she repeated.

Jude let a laugh escape and she darted a look in his direction, but he continued to laugh at her attitude. He couldn't help it. It was funny. She continued to speak, shaking her head with a humorous smile, yet a competitive expression. "You looked at my screen, dude. You cheated."

"Tell her I didn't cheat," Lincoln said, pointing back at her and rolling his eyes as if he had done it a million times before. Jude smiled and stood up.

"How about we determine this with a game of pool?" Jude insisted and Waverly jolted up automatically, giving a little wicked smile in Jude and Lincoln's direction. Jude replied with an equally amusing smile and led them both to the pool table. He yanked off the covering and handed them both the pool sticks.

"I hate pool," Lincoln grumbled, but took the stick nevertheless. Waverly reached across the table, setting the rack in the center where Lincoln had begun to align all the balls in the constricted space.

"May the best one win," Waverly winked. "You first."

The rest of their afternoon went mostly like that. Jude continued to laugh between the two bickering, bringing down new snacks in the process, and cheering them both on. In the end, Waverly ended up winning and rubbed it in Lincoln's face like he had done when he beat her. Jude had to admit that it was one of the happiest, drama-free days he had in months. Eventually, it had to come to an end because the time came for the ultrasound. So, Jude told Lincoln to leave and dropped Waverly off. Waverly lingered in the car for a moment longer, gazing at the dashboard.

"That's the first time I've been in your house, Lockhart. I've known you for most of my life, but that's the first time I've been in your house," she informed as if he weren't aware of it already. His eyes were on her as she spoke, watching as she smiled, then watched it fall and disintegrate away.

"Yeah, I know," was all he could say then. "You like it?"

"I had fun," she said. "You and Lincoln aren't complete losers, and I bet you next time I come over I'll beat you."

Jude cackled at her overly exaggerated comment.

"We'll see about that," he said and she left the car. Something in Jude wanted her to stay, but he shook it off because she couldn't, and because he shouldn't have wanted her to stay like he did. In the way that he did. He sighed and stole a glance at his phone where the address lay stretched across his screen.

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There were many decisions that led to the moment he was in, but no matter how many times he thought about it, he couldn't erase the actuality of it all. The clinic wasn't far from his house, moreover it was bulged between two towering buildings. Jude made his way into the building to find Beverly seated in one of the chairs, and her eyes had been glued on her phone. Just as the door whizzed out a noise behind him, she looked up and gave one of the softest smiles.

She stood up and said, "you made it."

Then, she leaned in and hugged him. Jude nodded in response and swallowed. He looked down at her when she pulled away, and took a seat next to her. Jude craned his neck to look at the miniature television in the top corner, then he directed his attention to the women at the front desk collecting paperwork. The silence was eating him up inside, until a lady came out the door calling for Beverly. They both made their way in the lady's direction and down the wide halls into a room. When everyone settled the lady, who went by Rubi, asked Beverly questions about her date of birth and other generic things. Beverly responded with ease, leaned back and prepared.

Jude, on the other hand, could hardly contain his excitement. He would be able to figure out the gender of their child today, and just by this Jude had a feeling she would be keeping the baby. Maybe, it had been because Jude was the father. Rubi exited the room for a bit and explained how she had to file all the information in the computer. Now, it was Beverly and Jude in the room all alone.

"Have you told your parents yet?" Jude considered and he swore he saw Beverly's expression drop at the mention. Suddenly, he regretted it.

"That's the thing," she sighed. "I'm not completely sure if I want to keep it, Jude. I don't think I can. That's why you're here."

Jude's eyes widened.

"You're considering an abortion?" He raised his voice a little. His chest was on fire from her words—her consideration. He had heard of those sickening procedures, sucking away a potential life. It was enough to make him tick.

"I...I have a lot on the line. There's still stuff I want to do, and if my parents find out—"

"Beverly, dammit—"

He couldn't think of a sentence to say, but everything was crumbling.

"There's a potential being growing inside you and you want to kill what we created," he said. "What could be?"

"Do you understand what I have to go through? You're not risking everything. You can continue living your life, Jude. I can't. My parents will probably disown me: I'll be judged, called a whore, everything will fall apart. Everything. Jude, if I had this baby it would be unhealthy. We'd be unfit parents."

Jude knew she had a point, but he refused to believe it. He put her hands in his, and subsided the fact that they weren't together anymore. He didn't care. He just wanted Beverly to keep the baby; her baby, his baby, their baby. She let her hands linger in his, her eyes sucking in the shallow plea of Jude's. He was internally screaming for her to keep it, but he had to consider that through it all. At the end of the day, it was her call. It was Beverly's decision. Her body, her choice.

"Jude, I have to tell you something before you hear it from someone else—"

Rubi walked in at that moment and Jude dropped his hands, turning his gaze away. He couldn't keep his composure, or his gaze, which stayed heightened with Beverly's. He kept telling himself that it was her decision. Humans made decisions everyday, but this decision meant so much more. It was her decision. It was her decision.

"So, what brings you here?" Rubi said, taking a seat and rolling it over so she was in front of a hovered Beverly, looking over paperwork as well.

Internally, he flinched at those words and bit his lip, closing his eyes. It was her decision.

Hers. Not his.

"I need some fresh air," Jude mumbled, leaving and closing the door with more force than intended. Jude was sure she called after him before he left, but he told himself that she didn't. He made his way into the parking lot. Unfortunately, footsteps were sauntering behind him and when he turned around there was no surprise to see Beverly staring back at him.

Her voice came out in a soft, milky woe. There was a great distance between them, but Jude felt as if everything they ever did led to this exact moment. Ever since he found out about her and Seth there was nothing but damage between them. He couldn't look at her the same no matter how hard he wanted to before.

Above him, the sky looked drenched with pastels and the clouds dipped like scudding fabric against a fluffy backdrop. The wind blew mildly, but it didn't factor out any differences that may have settled in his mind as he stared back at Waverly.

"Jude, I need you right now."

What about Seth? He wanted to ask, but Jude wasn't the type to play the victim. He sighed and squinted his eyes closed, rubbing at his temples. He couldn't fucking do this.

It was her decision.

He opened his crystallized orbs and followed Beverly back into the building, and outside the door she told him that she wasn't going to do it. She wasn't going to undergo such a terrifying process, and instead she was going to put the baby in an adoption center right after she gave birth. It was the only other option in her book. Either way, her parents would find out, but Jude told himself those words again, and watched as Rubi rubbed the cold gel on Beverly's stomach and began with the ultrasound. Whatever Beverly decided to do it was her choice. Jude sat at her side, looking at the motion of the black and white blur on the screen.

"Would you like to know the gender?" Rubi asked, looking at Jude and Beverly in awe. They were young, soon to be parents with no sure plan in mind.

"Grey? Do you want to?" She asked, calling him by that patronizing nickname. He couldn't help but agree when she called him that.

"Yeah, I do," he said and turned to Rubi.

"Looks like you lovebirds are having a boy," she informed and Jude smiled at that. He smiled wide. It was a spontaneous moment.

"We'll make this work," Beverly whispered and Jude looked back at her. He tried to believe her, but a small part of him felt diverted. None of it felt real to him.

"All we can do is hope," he replied, but he wasn't looking at her in the same admiration as he always did. Instead, he was thinking about Waverly and how much he wanted to tell her. Truly, it was dangerous. His thoughts were slowly growing uncharted, like poison ivy or a vine that started growing on his arm, squeezing until there was no feeling left. No nerves. No pain. Nothing. Only numbness.

Eventually, after all the excitement died down and Rubi finished suggesting Beverly with vitamins and other things Jude had no idea about, they made their way back into the parking lot.

Before parting Jude couldn't help the one question that came in his mind. "Are you going to be okay?"

Beverly nodded and gave a fake smile, then turned and walked in the direction of her car. Jude watched her sit in the driver's seat, then leave altogether. He stood there for a bit until realizing that her smile was a mask to hide away the fear that she wasn't going to be okay. Jude let that sink in and realized, too, that he was afraid. He had never been a dad before, and that young too. How would he cope through it? How could she? He thought about his own parents then, and how he thought their relationship was fine, until he discovered what his mother had done.

When was his mother going to fess up? And why couldn't he stop wondering what Waverly had been doing when he had Beverly right in front of him moments ago. Both answers were simple, but Jude found himself allowing it to unravel on its own because that was life. He couldn't control how things turned out, but Jude could control how he felt. And in that exact moment he realized that he may have cared for Waverly more than he expected. She was the first person he wanted to tell, and the only person he wanted there with him. Out of anyone in the world, he wanted her.

Fuck.

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TO BE CONTINUED

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