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NOTE:

I hope you enjoy and if so don't forget to vote, comment, and share. Also the latest chapter is up on radish and I also published chapter twenty-six of How Far We Go and I'm working on All the Wonders also.

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1 0 | Until There Was You

Kickoff signaled and Jude's heart lurched out of his chest onto the grass. His vision blurred in his peripheral vision and his eyes concentrated on the players that aligned on the field. The kick was caught and ran up the field with great ease, but stopped at the fifty yard line. The coach praised them for gaining enough yards, but to Jude it wasn't enough.

His heart was on the ground again—a ravenous beast craving his prey. In Jude's eyes, his heart was craving this feeling. All while fearing it. He couldn't control it. Just like he couldn't control his mistakes and every little detail that led up to this very moment. He couldn't think about those things. It would affect the team.

Jude lined up near Seth, prepared to run the ball up the field. However, to Jude's dismay, Seth had decided to run a different play, throwing the ball across the field instead of letting Jude run it. The crowd screamed triumphantly, believing that they'd get the first touchdown of the game. Unfortunately, the ball went right into the hands of the other team. Jude cursed under his breath at the quick flip of transition.

"Fuck," he uttered, running towards the person with the ball. Jude was right behind him. If he lunged forward he could tackle him before he made it into the end zone. One more step. A few more steps. Some more endurance and...Touch down! The guy had made it and the score shifted on the scoreboard. Jude could hear the crowd booing from the stands. It was his fault they scored. He wasn't fast enough. When Seth passed him he said, "What the fuck, Jude?"

As if Seth did nothing wrong, he discouraged Jude, but Jude ignored him because he knew that if he let his anger get the best of him he'd get ejected from the game. Jude couldn't afford that. Seth was the one who fucked up the play. Seth was the one who threw the interception, yet Jude was the one who let the guy finish in the end zone. It was going to be a tough game with Jude and Seth continuously snarling and spitting resentful looks at each other.

Jude swallowed, scurrying into his position for the second time. His silver metal eyes were unsettling as he felt his pulse spiraling out of control. This time, he couldn't fuck up and his gaze went to something—no, someone—in the crowd. Several meters away Waverly stood in Jude's jacket with an encouraging smile on her face, and it made Jude feel like a rebellious outlaw who suddenly didn't give a damn about the consequences of his actions. Waverly didn't judge him and if one person didn't, that was enough.

"Down, set, hike!"

The ball was forced into Jude's hand as he ran through the pile of players for an opening. He dug his shoes into the grass, gritting his teeth and jutting his anger. He looked to the referees when he finally crashed onto the floor and they had announced that it was enough for a first down. He smiled to himself because although it wasn't a touchdown they were still much closer to scoring than they were before. Seth had finally decided to put his pride aside and hand Jude the ball several more times until Jude pushed the offense and defense into the end zone for their first touchdown.

Jude heard the crowd bursting in excitement, jumping up and down from their seats and bumping the people surrounding them. Seth gave Jude a nod and that was it. It was the only exchange they made, and it would probably be the only exchange for the entire game. Jude didn't mind that they hardly spoke because Jude knew that if Seth had said something out of proportion he would do something he would regret later. So, each time he had pictured Seth it was with a cracked jaw and a bloody nose, instead of him actually doing it. The bastard deserved it more than anyone on the field and when they walked past each other it made the idea more and more tempting.

Lincoln gave Jude a slap on the back along the way while they were lined up for the field goal. This was the easy part. Their kicker never missed, but that also came with a lot of pressure. Jude had sweat plastered on his face as he watched on the sideline. The water girl handed him a bottle of water and Jude squirted the liquid down his throat as he watched the game unfold before his eyes. His heart drummed and it felt like everything was occurring in slow motion. The kicker, a freshman named Bennet, gathered some distance and with that he jogged and kicked the ball into the field goal. The ball went through with no complications and Jude silently bumped his fist in the air, allowing the defense to do their part. To Jude, this was going to be another win if they didn't fuck up.

Seth found a seat next to him and Jude allowed his head to roll back, looking at the coral sky above them. He clenched his jaw and wanted to ask Seth why he had decided to sit there when there were plenty of other seats on the bench. Half the team was standing up, far too engrossed in the game to notice the tension increasing between their best players.

"Look man," Seth started off but Jude cut him off.

"Don't say shit to me," Jude hissed out, squirting water down his throat again. He wasn't in the mood for childish disputes or ongoing confessions. So, Jude stood up and left Seth sitting on the bench by himself. Jude stood alongside a guy who had his helmet at his side. He didn't look any older than a sophomore and appeared keen on entering the game, waiting for the coach to demand his arrival. Jude was like that once. Keen and hungry for play time. Now, the chase wasn't worth it as much. It was too current.

Jude kept his eyes trained on the other team's strangling offense. They looked as if they were struggling to construct a working play and Jude wanted to laugh. It was fourth down and they had one last chance to make something happen, which was exactly what they did. The quarterback for the other team looked for one of the receivers and threw the ball long. The receiver on the other team ran as if his life depended on it—almost as if it did. He jumped up and caught the ball with two hands. Just. Like. That. They had scored again.

"Touchdown, Rams!" the announcer said and Jude cursed under his breath because just as suddenly the buzzer went off for halftime and the Rams were in the lead. Coach Bergamot looked pissed as he gathered his team and pushed them in the direction of the locker room. Anyone could tell from Bergamot's face that he was going to spit every curse word in the book at the sweaty boys. Profanities were his thing and he had an anger as bad as Jude's. Jude swallowed as his teammates passed him looks. They had to be blaming him. Although he got the team a touchdown he was also the reason the other team had scored in the first place. Jude braced himself and tried to expect the absolute worst from his coach and his peers.

When everyone settled into the locker room and the door shut behind Bergamot he slammed his fist in the locker. When the season had first begun and rare situations like this occurred a few people jumped at the action. This time, though, no one jumped as the assistant coaches found spots on the wall. Bergamot's face was as red as the blood boiling underneath his skin, and Jude noticed purple blotches dotting into bruises on Bergamot's calloused hand. Jude lowered his gaze trying to drown out the way he ranted on.

"What the hell was that?" he shouted and Jude was sure that in the other locker room they could hear him raging like a sea filled with thousands of never-ending hurricanes. It was that loud.

"Lockhart," he snapped and Jude's head shot up.

He didn't speak, instead he let the coach continue to vent and vent and vent.

"That guy was not faster than you. How did you let him get into the end zone?" he questioned, placing the blame on Jude entirely.

"Coach, it wasn't completely my fault. If Seth hadn't thrown the interception in the first place I—"

"You think you can do a better job at being the quarterback," Seth snapped, appearing sensitive when it came to the memory and football. He was always sensitive when it came to a passion as such. Jude's silver eyes made their way in Seth's direction where there was a battle raging between the two. It was bone crushing and the tension was wallowing. They were being pulled into the darkness of their own penetrating war. Bullets flew from both directions, crushing skulls and killing time.

"It can't be too fucking hard, can it?" Jude wondered.

"That's the last straw, Lockhart," he shouted, raising his voice and standing. "I can't be on this team with him. I've tried apologizing. I've tried everything and still he's hung up on the fact that his girlfriend chose me instead of him," Seth complained. The stares and shock was undeniable. The humiliation was angering, but it wasn't enough to send Jude into that explosion he was closely compared to.

"Either he's out or I'm out."

Seth left the locker room after that. The tension increased and Jude knew it was over for him. They'd pick Seth over him any day. He was the quarterback. He was Seth Westbay. Jude was just Jude. The guy who didn't have anything to lose.

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There was still three minutes until the second half started and Jude sat on the bench, tapping his foot impatiently. Jude's emotions were unyielding like a ton of bricks being tossed on top of him. Seth was only a few feet away, casting a look in his direction ever so often. That was it. That was what would cost them the game. A few seconds were left and the rest of the team started spilling out. One by one like a cluster of stars and tangled galaxies. Jude didn't look at his coach, but he knew what he had decided already. Jude's ego was already battered like everything else. So, he decided to let it happen. Bergamot approached him and Jude sucked in a sudden breath. He flashed one last glance at the clock, then looked up at Bergamot who had his clipboard by his side.

"Lockhart," he started and Jude's heart rate started to accelerate. That was it for him.

"I know, I know. I'll just stay out—" he assumed, tugging at his hair.

"Would you shut the hell up and let me finish? You're going to be on the field tonight. We're putting our back-up quarterback in."

Jude was caught back by his words. He had to blink to make sure he heard him right.

Then, "don't let me down, boy," he told him, and the corners of Jude's lips quipped up into a somewhat fragile smile.

"Yes, sir. I'll try not to," he replied.

"Yeah, that's not the words a coach wants to hear."

Before Jude could protest he left and went to give Seth the news. Jude tried his best not to look in his direction, but he knew that Seth's gaze had been on Jude's. Nearly, blasting a hole in the side of Jude's face. Jude could hear Seth's voice raising but he didn't look. Lastly, Seth scoffed and brushed everyone off, cursing under his breath and darting in the direction of the locker rooms. The dick wasn't even going to stay on the sidelines and support his teammates. Just like that their star quarterback was gone and Jude was all the hope they had left. The time ticked out and it was time for all the players to fumble into their positions. The Rams had possession first.

This time, Jude couldn't mess up. He wouldn't mess up.

When the game started he was as focused as he'd ever been. His eyes were squinted and inside his head he was hoping that the Junior quarterback they had in place of Seth wouldn't make the same mistake Seth had. In a flash, Jude was able to tie the game up. Fourteen to fourteen. It was never this hard to win. That was if you tossed aside the team they had played that didn't include Jude and Seth. It should have been an easy win for them, yet it was the exact opposite.

There was at least a minute left on the clock and their team had finally gained possession. It was Jude's turn to show that he wasn't an absolute fuck up. It was Jude's chance to prove something to himself. And before Jude knew it he was running up the field, pushing through and dodging tackles. The crowd was shouting, telling him not to stop. Jude pushed through, trying so hard to score. All Jude remembered after that was being tackled by his teammates in the end zone. They had won the game without Seth.

"That's what I'm talking about, Lockhart!"

Jude remembered Lincoln saying, and all Jude did was smile because for the first time he had realized he no longer needed Beverly, or Seth, or his previous lifestyle to be happy. What he had was enough.

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"Are you going to the after party?" Lincoln asked Jude while tossing his game uniform into the dirty pile. Jude was barely paying attention because he was still recalling those thrill clenching events that occurred minutes before. He could still taste the adrenaline in his veins, and he still felt it all washing away when he changed out of his game Jersey and shoulder pads. He stood up and swung his book bag over his shoulder, and while everyone was leaving Jude caught sight of a familiar face entering. Waverly leaned in the doorway, casting a look in Jude's direction.

"What are you doing back here?" Jude asked, looking at her under thick lashes. Waverly let out a small laugh that echoed through the room.

"I'm here to congratulate you on your win. Pretty impressive," she complimented and Jude raised an eyebrow.

"Was that a compliment?"

Waverly nearly winced at his question.

"Now, I'm starting to regret it. You played like shit," she responded instead and Jude laughed silently. Waverly walked over to the spot Jude had once occupied. She stretched her legs out in front of her, and Jude noticed it was a habit of hers. "I can't believe you forced me to come here, and I can't believe I didn't completely hate it."

"First, I didn't force you," he replied.

"But you did. You gave me that sad ass look—the one where your eyes look like they're raining and you pout your lips. It made me feel sorry for you."

"You're always feeling sorry for me, aren't you? I think you use that as an excuse because you actually like being around me."

"You think that?" She wondered.

"Yeah."

"Then, you're a dumbass."

She stared at the ground, then at her shoes in concentration as the conversation drifted off. Her brows had been furrowed and Jude collected a seat next to her. "You know, you really shouldn't be in the guy's locker room. You could get in trouble."

"You should know by now; that doesn't scare me," she replied, bumping her shoulder with his. Now, their shoulders were brushing and Jude looked over at her as she continued to speak. "You should go to the afterparty and celebrate your win."

She stood up and reached a hand out for Jude to grasp and stand up with. When she noticed Jude's uncertainty she spoke again.

"You weren't planning on going to the afterparty?" She asked.

"I've had my fair share. They don't faze me anymore."

"You're going to that afterparty, Lockhart. You're going to celebrate and show everyone that you give two fucks about Beverly and Seth and whoever else wants to fuck with you," she demanded and something about that made Waverly feel more intimidating and crucial, yet at the same time relieving. Because she was Waverly and Waverly fit those characteristics as perfectly as the air they breathed.

"I'll make a deal. If you come with me, then I'll go," he responded instead of retorting because parties were for losers in Waverly's eyes. Jude guessed that meant they were all losers.

"It's a high school party, what's the worst that could happen?" She wondered and Jude wanted to finish that sentence for her. A lot could happen, but he closed his mouth and decided to let her discover the worst possible outcomes herself. The sentence itself was a cliche that was proved wrong on several occasions. In movies. Video games. TV shows. Books. Pretty much everything.

When Waverly and Jude exited, Lincoln was nowhere to be found. He straightened up when he saw Jude and crossed his arms. The stadium lights had dimmed and dark blue hues surrounded them. Several meters away car headlights lit up around the fences that surrounded the expansive space. The darkness reminded Jude of the night with Waverly, where they looked out at the city grasping it in their hands.

"Lincoln? I thought you left," Jude assumed, stuffing his hands in his pocket. Lincoln looked between Jude and Waverly, then blinked. Jude didn't even want to know what he had been assuming, but he darted a glare in Lincoln's direction. At first, Lincoln brushed it off then decided not to act on what he was thinking. It would probably make the situation more awkward.

"Nah, I was still waiting on your answer for the party," he mentioned and Jude wanted to call bullshit. Jude remembered how when they had after parties they'd all crowd in Seth's truck and drive there with hazy visions as they sang songs and cursed out the window at how trashy the other team was. Jude realized how childish that tradition was. They had been doing it since they were freshman, and ever since it just stuck with them. Everyone had a thing. That was theirs.

"Yeah, I'm going," he replied and Lincoln rocked on his heels awkwardly, then looked at Waverly. His eyes lowered to her chest and she gritted her teeth, noticing his wavering gaze.

"My eyes are up here, perv," she hissed and he looked the other way.

"Do you guys wanna ride there with me? I have a lot of room and free beer," he negotiated.

"Free beer?" she repeated with a triumphant grin. "I'll be waiting in the truck."

She brushed past Lincoln walking to the left and searching for his truck.

"Wrong way!" he called after Waverly when she walked too far off in the wrong direction. Jude laughed silently to himself. Then, he watched while Waverly went off in the right direction.

"Ready to get wasted?" Lincoln asked with a grin and then he swung an arm over Jude's shoulder as they walked in the direction where the truck was parked. Jude sat in the passenger's seat while Waverly made herself comfortable in the back with the beer container held close.

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TO BE CONTINUED

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