Tales of broken

Asanibhavan palace, December, 1991

Pearls had always been Arya's favorite of jewels. Their soft shimmer, set against the smooth outer shell, reminded her of rain - washed dawns dazzling with silver sunlight. She picked up a string of those, from her silver chest of ornaments and held it against her creamy throat, judging its effect in the ornate mirror she sat in front of. The pearls streamed down from the gaps between her fingers, and rested against the pale sea green fabric of her dress, casting a faint glow over the embroidered neckline of same color.

After examining her reflection for a while, she stood up, the pale green fabric flowing to her ankles and reached the drawers beside the dressing table. The drawer held the most unnatural set of contents one would imagine in the chambers of a princess, who looks as fragile and delicately beautiful as Arya does. Inside, wrapped in blue silk to preserve against the moisture of the atmosphere were blades of varying lengths. Letting the light reflected by their edges dance against her eyes, Arya ran a finger over the cold daggers, choosing the twin pair of silver worked, jade hilted ones to carry with her.

She sheathed them against her waist by the silver embroidered belt and hastily started to brush her hair. The door opened noiselessly, leading the maids inside. They watched her wide eyed realizing the lady they were supposed to help in getting dressed was already scooping up her hair in to a very unstylish knot and fastening it with a pin that looked like a deadly steel spike.

Pardon me my lady, but you're supposed to...' the maid begun, in an unsettled note.

To have an audience with the Vajra, I know.' Arya said in a finite tone. In case you're suggesting I should change my dressing sense, let me tell you, the Vajra knows better.'

Not waiting for the maids to gather their wits and point out perhaps she should wear the Anjani colors, Arya marched out, her skirts swishing as they swept the polished passageway.

In years long gone they had been friends. Arya mused on how swiftly the balance tipped. Both of them had once thought their fates were not written with blood and tied with political ties. There was that illusion of freedom, they had taken for granted. That was before she became the lady of Anjanis and he became the Vajra.

The curtain that parted them flustered with his image but he looked the same as she remembered. The young Vajra stood at the large balcony of the meeting chamber, his lean figure shadowy against the morning sun and his hair blowing gently across his face by the breeze that ruffled the curtains. It was strange, to see someone so unaffected by power, when she had her own life turned upside down with one title bestowed upon her.

 Finally a homely face,' he smiled rather wistfully. It's so good to see you old friend.'

Arya curtsied with her head dipping and rising gracefully. Not many Vajra lords would be proud to acknowledge a woman as their old friend.' She said then. What is the news from Asanikshastra my lord? When are you riding to battle?'

And not many Anjani ladies would be interested in talking about anything other than music and parties,' The Vajra chuckled, as he held out his hand for her. Come; my lady, we did not have curtains between us before did we?'

That was before I became the lady of Anjanis and you the Vajra my lord. Things are different.' Arya pointed out.

The Vajra sighed. I hope someone might stop reminding me that.' He turned away, gazing beyond Arya's vision and continued. I never wanted this.'

And those who did should not hate us for this either.' Arya completed his thought and then shaking her head, parted the curtains and walked to the railing he was leaning against. He looked at her and smiled faintly, and she finished saying, and you do have a way of getting what you want; my lord.'

You're always too kind.' He replied. Too noble to hurt someone,' knowing his wistful gaze was on her, Arya looked away. From where they stood, the illusionary lake of Asaniaksha stretched out in glittering blue haze from which the palace gained its name; Asanibhavan. You should have turned down the proposal.' Startled Arya caught his gaze.

Are you telling me, that you knew?'

Mohan told me. You'll ride off a cliff if your father wishes so, was his exact words. But I summarize he meant you are not happy with the turn of events, at least Mohan is not.'

I don't follow, pardon me.'

He loves you and you love another and the triangle became a tetrad when I joined the equation.' Arya thought for a moment, her mind quickly reflecting on her options. The Vajra was her old friend; there was no chance of pretending ignorance at this point. It takes a lot of strength to help your love, get her love. Mohan surprises me.' He continued. Now Arya, that is your problem to deal with, I have no intention of losing two friends with one move.'

So you are rejecting me?'

I'm indefinitely postponing my decision.' He chuckled. You can sort out your life in the meantime.'

Ram,' she said slowly, taking the name that was forbidden to utter. Do you really think I can decide for myself?'

I know no one better.' He nodded with a grin. Still I would have preferred if you chose Mohan. But I know you won't.'

**

Delhi, January 1996

 Those words, burned themselves upon her conscious as Arya thundered downstairs, her luggage bouncing on each step behind her and her four months old wrapped up in to a warm bundle in her arms. As she reached the entrance, the old clock in the hall chimed nine, and the front door opened and closed. Shadowed against the light flooding from the street lamps outside; a man stood at the door way, his frame was lean and boney, yet effectively blocking the entrance.

Where on earth you think you're going?' He asked her, with a stunned tone.

Arya grew in a breath, clutched her baby tighter and stepped closer, glaring in to the man's icy blue gaze.

I'm leaving.'

And you think I'll let you go, when I've almost succeeded in my study?'

Arya snorted, it was a whisper of a mirthless laugh.

That's it isn't it? It was I who loved, and you were just experimenting.' Her eyes flashed in anger, as she brushed past him. You will not have my child Rishi Agrawal, I will make sure of that!'

He tried to grasp her elbow, stop her from stepping outside, but the moment he touched her; a spark of pain shot through him and Agrawal winced, clutching his fingers in his other hand.

Do not ever repeat that mistake,' Arya hissed as she unbolted the door and stepped outside. He ran after her, in the next second but the road outside was empty and the night silent. There was no sign of his wife or the baby. They had vanished.

*

The cruise, present

I never had enough courage to question about him,' Swara said slowly. I could see that it hurt her immensely. Betrayal is excruciating.'  She stood against the backdrop of the plain glass behind her and the endless blues of sky and ocean merging in to each other beyond that. So yes, I know what happens to mismatched marriages. I will help Miss Agrawal, with your escape plan.' They were in the topmost cabin that worked as a watch tower. At that time in late afternoon it was free of sightseeing passengers and Sanskar had brought her there for lunch after Dida had fallen asleep. But,' she added after a thought. How did you guess I was half human?'

Your eyes,' He replied shortly, watching her as she shifted to look at the clear ocean before them. Her eyes warm brown in the sun. Elves don't have golden eyes.'

Swara blinked, a tinge of crimson appeared on her cheeks.

I've never spoken about him before. I don't know what made me talk about someone I don't even remember.'

Perhaps,' Sanskar said suggestively. It's one of my spells on you, there's a reason why they say never trust an oneiro.'

She laughed lightly, weighing the sound on his heart as Sanskar gulped.

I know it's not.'

How?' He asked honestly, curious of her misplaced confidence.

 Swara shook her head.

I just know.'

Unable to help himself, he leaned closer and tucked an escaped strand of hair behind her ear. As his fingers brushed against the cold skin of her earlobe, her earring jingled, breaking the heavy silence as well as his trance.

**

In the deck below, Ragini who had just left the dining room where she sat talking with Lakshya, stopped on her tracks and pointed out to Lakshya who followed her.

You were right; she was indeed with Mr. Maheshwari.'

Lakshya's eyes followed her stretched out finger, pointing at the glass fronted cabin above them. Swara stood there leaning against the glass and smiling at something they were discussing about and Lakshya gaped at the man in her company.

What is it?' Ragini asked, her wide eyes travelling over his pale face.

Nothing,' Lakshya said distractedly. It's nothing.'

He is jealous...Janki whispered in her head. Ragini shook her head to get rid of the thought yet the persistent, edgy tone continued. It's because he loves her...her...not you!'

**

There was breaking glass, showering like a rain of sparkling, tinkling, solid drops. Someone a woman, screamed in an eerie pitch.

We need to get out,' he grabbed her shoulders as she tried to push him off. Something sticky, red and alarming soaked her hand.

You're hit.'

A blur of colors, darkness and silence and her feet lost the contact with the ground.

The sound of her earring brought her back to reality. Their eyes met again.

I saw...' She gulped, swallowed hard and leaned against the cold glass breathing heavily. I saw you get shot.'

*

Vajrateerta, present

The lake of Asaniaksha made no ripples as the yacht of the queen sailed across. The sails caught in light breeze, swelled proudly, taking them towards the engorging silhouette of the Asanibhavan, the quarters of the king's bride. In comparison to Agnidyuth, it was a dainty palace, made of delicate white marbles, standing on a lonely island at the middle of the lake. It was well kept even though it was unoccupied at the moment.

Waking from her trance as they approached ashore, Annapurna hurried inside. She had successfully avoided the Skia before setting off on this journey and was now surrounded by a band of Aryamaan's guards, who were under oath to protect her secrets as well as her life.

As she went forward and entered the center hall of the palace, it's off white walls creamy golden in the sunlight and curtains swishing on the gleaming floors; in memories Annapurna went backwards to a time when she had been the lady of Asanibhavan.

Their white dresses rustling to the music, court ladies danced in circles. Their eyes lit in soft mirth, hands interwoven, heads bowing and feet moving in graceful slides. Her own young self moved through those circles, joining in light conversations, giggling merrily as she danced with her friends.

It was a banquet organized to celebrate the marriage of prince Ram. Still instead of his Naga bride Aruna, eyes of the assembly followed Annapurna, the betrothed of the crown prince. The ladies around her gazed in awe, as she softly shimmered in her elvish glow and the crowd muttered among themselves, how perfect a choice she was as a queen.

Annapurna had no eyes or ears for them. As she danced, in the graceful elegance she was brought up to assume, her eyes kept drafting to the entrance, waiting for him to make his appearance. The crowned prince had promised her a dance that night and her cheeks heated up recalling the way he openly gazed at her throughout their conversation.

The seers are coming!' Someone shouted through the crowd. The ladies, flocked together and rushed to the seers, seated around a lamp lit round table. All of them were fumbling in excitement, but Annapurna shook her head rather dismissively. I have everything I need. There is nothing more I desire to know.'

Aruna laughed at her.

But my lady, surely you'll be curious to know whether everything you have will remain with you or not?'

That was an unintended blow on her pride. For a moment it seemed the princess consort was hinting at a conspiracy.

Sure,' Annapurna smiled through tight lips and Aruna waving her hand with Annapurna's led her to the seers.

Their words, echoed in her mind, as the memory faded from her surrounding, restoring the empty central chamber back to her vision.

"Oh my lady, you will surely be the queen and reign for years to come...yet not for the king you desire!'

Ma?' A voice called her completely to the grounds of reality and she spun around startled to find the chamber empty except for her and a very smoky vision of her only son; Lakshya. Her eyes dampened for a moment, with the overflowing happiness of seeing him, but soon gripped by a fear of being discovered her throat ran dry.

What are you doing here Lakshya?'

Tell me for whom I am working again?'

For your king of cause!'

 Then can you explain what bhai is doing here?'

*

The waters were silent and the night achingly black. Even in the open deck, engulfed in the wind, he felt suffocated. Betrayal is excruciating... She had said so. That trust now seemed overwhelming. Sanskar's fingers curled into fists. This was not supposed to be so difficult.

Give up,' a tiny traitorous voice suggested at the back of his head. You can't take her to the queen.'

She won't be harmed.' He reminded himself firmly.

Says who?'

Says me, I am the lord of Vajras!'

Huh,' the voice mused. When was your coronation my lord?'

Ma isn't cruel.'

But she is the eye...the one that sent Lakshya to exile.'

Exactly! She deserves to be...'

Do you actually want to finish that sentence?'

Arrg!'

Shaking his head at his own tangled thoughts, Sanskar made his way to the infirmary hoping to make sure Dida was well rested, and if she was awake, she might put him out of his misery, although it might be impermanent.

The white room was lit by a mild amber light of a night lamp and Dida was asleep. Her covers already drawn to give some comfortable warmth and her windows shut. There was nothing more he could do for her and as she was asleep, he could not find it in his heart to wake her up. Sanskar sighed and turned to leave. Half way across the room, he stopped again.

He had known she was there, a full minute before his eyes landed on her. She might have been reading a book, lying on the sofa at the opposite end, watching over Dida, or perhaps engaged in conversation with her. At that moment, she had sunk further down to the soft cushions, her book still open, yet tucked abandoned under her numb right hand. Her left hand was dangling out from the limited space, tips of her fingers almost touching the floor.

He walked to her and gazed down at her serene, sleeping form. Sanskar drew in a breath as a thought unworthy for a prince of title, crossed his mind. He was jealous of her. The peace, reflected upon her face, even amidst the uproar her life was in. How easily she had trusted him, how easily she let her walls tumble. As if there was no evil in the world, no worry, no danger. He envied that freedom, the light she seemed to emit.

Once again, he was the immortal, who dived to the depths of death just to feel the sense of living, to find some distraction from pain, and there she was, emitting that soft glow of serenity and peace as if her life was the most perfect thing on earth, looking so innocent and very, very precious.

For the first time that night Sanskar admitted it to himself. She did affect him. He was not as immune as he thought initially.

Perhaps, just for that moment...he can afford to let down his wall. There was no one to take the advantage of his vulnerability. Just one moment, that's all.

Carefully, he lifted her in his arms, making sure she did not wake up in the process and carried her slowly back to her room. She muttered something incoherent and her warm weight shifted in his arms to a comfortable position. Her head came to rest against his shoulder, her breath fanning his neck. Sanskar drew in a rattling breath; this was not a part of the plan. He felt hazy, as her mild fragrance reminded him off melting snow on starflowers. The minute became two, two became three and then he lost the thread of time. The only sensation that prevailed was her warmth in his arms. He felt rather empty as he settled her in her own bed, she sighed, sinking in to her pillows obliviously.

Gritting his teeth Sanskar turned to leave. Enough lines were crossed for a day. He should not have been there to start with and he has to leave now, as soon as he could. But no, his feet refused to leave, refused to obey his persistent command.

Then his eyes betrayed him again and turned to cast another look at her. His mind urged that this was the final glance. He would definitely leave after that.

In the bluish haze of the night, she shimmered in a soft silvery glow. It was the elven blood in her, his logic knew that, but that did not mean his heart could resist the allure. There was something in her, something that he could not comprehend. But it promised shelter and affection and his weary soul needed nothing more.

For the first time that night Sanskar wished he was not supposed to betray her. If only, if, she was not the eye, not the one who ruined his family, his brother. Then perhaps...

Leaving the thought incomplete he moved closer and stared down at her. It seemed she was dreaming, her eyes moved behind the long lashed lids. When lines were crossed, did it really matter how many? It didn't, the tiny voice told him, sounding as if rolling in laughter at his desperate condition.

Sanskar bent and touched his lips to her forehead. Just a brief contact, nothing more, just enough to sleep peacefully for the night... As he made contact with her skin, something, almost a spark exchanged between them. Somewhere deep within him his power coiled around his soul and his heart ached. In an incomprehensible way he knew, she was in pain.

A drop of sweat tricked down from her temple and drained across her cheek. It seemed his touch had evoked a vision which was causing her anguish beyond its dreamy edges. He would not have that. He would not bear her peace vanishing in his greed. Sanskar let his fingers brush across her cheek and his power reached out to her. He needed to see that vision, share the pain he had caused.

That place, the walls lit by ruthless fires was familiar, the sound of metals, and the sensation of burning created a monstrous picture in his mind. He could hear her pounding heart, feel her fear soar through his veins. She was afraid, very much so and the pain was overwhelming.

Sanskar...' The sound was almost dead on her lips, but sounded an escaped prayer. He pulled her to a seating position, his hand brushing across her face and held her in his embrace. Her head rested against his heart as he muttered in her ear.

Swara? Wake up, you're dreaming.'

Her eyes snapped open. Their golden deepened to a warm brown and stared at him in a hazy unfocused gaze. It was not the girl he had known, but someone over taken by her fears. He could almost see her vanishing, slipping from his presence. He shook her from her shoulders, rather roughly.

No Swara! Don't fall asleep again.'

His voice seemed to irk her. As her unfocused gaze shifted, refusing to look at him. It seemed giving herself to the fears felt rather alluring to her subconscious.  

Look at me!'

Stop - sh - shaking - me,' she said through the clattering teeth. I -It hurts!'

Swara Gadodia, look at me!'

His cold hands cupped her face as he released his power. Slowly his eyes assumed their real shade of glossy green. She blinked met his gaze. Their noses were almost touching. She gasped for a breath.

Keep looking!' he ordered quickly, knowing that moment of sanity may not last. Don't you dare close your eyes!' She blinked again. It seemed she was fighting to maintain that stare. Her eyes turned watery.

You just had a vision,' he said softly tapping her cheek. Don't close your eyes!'

he was reflected in her eyes, which were rich brown and deep, twinkling in the lamp light. He hated that reflection of his, painted in fear and pain as she gasped for breath each time a new thought formed, in her mind. A spark of pain passed through his veins and she gasped again. It seemed her mind had finally worked out what was happening that he was sharing her pain. Her breathing was returning to its normal pattern as she listened to his steady heartbeats, her head leaned against his heart.

 It was just a vision, let it go. None of those things happened really.'

But they will,' she muttered feverishly. He is going to find me,' she gasped for a breath. He's going to torture me.' Her eyes still burned as fresh tears warmed their way down her cheeks. Swara blinked and looked up, in to his eyes. I'm scared.'

A vice gripped around his heart at the thought of her fear of him. How could she be so blind, to think he would go to such lengths of cruelty?

No one's going to hurt you, not all visions come true.'

They do, they do.' She murmured, clasping her shaking hands together under her chin and curling in to a ball. The prince of Vajra will kill me.' 

 Sanskar sighed and said nothing more as he leaned his forehead against hers. His power reached out to her once more. Wiping away the memories of the agony and replacing them with soothing once from her childhood. The sweet folk songs of the Nagas, sunshine, the smell of fresh grass, the wind whispering around Kaldwaara, every memory of her childhood he could catch hold of in the swirls of thoughts in her mind.   The venom wasn't spreading anymore, the pain was gone. He held her closer, burring his face in the crook of her neck assuring himself she was alive, safe and warm in his arms.

His eyes watered as he reflected back to his previous thoughts. How wrong it was to envy her? How perfect was the illusion she seems to cast around her, that fooled him in to thinking she was happy and perfect? There was so much pain within her, enough for her heart to burst with their weight. Yet she found strength to smile, when he could see nothing other than darkness around her. It felt oddly comforting to think she was as broken as he was and somehow it still felt as if together they would make whole.

*