Song - Take olpo kache

◆Draupadi ◆

There were two types of silence, the anodyne one after the storm and poignant one before it. Right that moment, the dern silence that had prevailed in that cozy private chamber of Queen Kunti was definitely the later one.

I stole a furtive glance at Arjun who stood at a corner, eyes intently gaping at the evening sky that was ablaze with the fire of the setting sun. I tried to comprehend what was going inside him but except his clenched jaw I could see nothing.

"I understand" The halcyon voice of the eldest Pandava demanded everyone's attention, breaking the eerie silence much to my relief. As I looked at him I found his brown orbs gazing directly into my raven ones before settling them on Arjun as he stood up.

"I understand that it's hard for you and Panchali" He ambled toward Arjun who straightened his posture and dropped his arms that were crossed over his chest. The guilt scintillating across those golden orbs made a helpless anger simmered inside me.

What was he apologetic for? For spending some time with his own wife? For touching her? For simply just being in the same room as she was in?

A nameless pain crawled its way up my throat as realisation slowly seeped in, realisation of the probability that there would always be this unendurable guilt between I and Arjun, that he could never actually love me as his own, his very own lawfully wedded wife.

"Jyeshth—" He began.

"I really do Arjun" Arya Yudhishthir cut him off "But you've to remember there are some certain rules that needs to be followed"

"What were you thinking when you decided to spend the night in Panchali's chamber, Phalgun?" Mata Kunti's voice was leaped in disenchantment. She appeared bewildered as she sat there, the heavy breaths and sweats trailing down her forehead indicated how stressed she actually was.

I opened my mouth to reply before the very familiar rich voice impeded me "Pardon me, Mata, I—" He paused and closed his eyes while I watched his Adam's apple bobbing up and and down while his jaw clicked before his eyes flutter open "I promise, no such thing will ever occur in future"

The eldest Pandava nodded before letting out an exasperated sigh "Its not just me who saw you in Panchali's chamber, Dyrodhan did too"

How on earth!

"There are already enough ugly rumours about this marriage, we certainly don't want any more" Mata Kunti expressed her concern, her eyes shifting from her youngest son to me.

"Arjun our other brothers don't know about this yet and I want it to remain this way" Yudhishthir declared "The whole purpose behind this polyandrous marriage was Pandava unity, I do not want any kind of misunderstanding to occur because of our wife"

Arjun just nodded while gave a small pat on his back before leading him outside the chamber while saying something in his ear.

A cold hand of ignominy started strangling my heart making it difficult for me to breathe, unable to fight the weariness anymore I let my body collapse on the couch beside my mother in law.

Pandav unity?

The corner of my lips tugged up in vitriolic smile as I wondered what kind of unity was he talking about? A unity which depended and was being threatened by a woman the soul brothers met few days ago?

"Putri"  The soft voice of my mother in law schlepped me out of my trance. I shifted my eyes from the empty vase to her as she continued placing an affectionate hand over my head  "When your father in law left the only thing I felt was hollowness, an overpowering all consuming hollowness" She paused before closing her eyes letting a lone tear trail down her cheek.

I had no idea why she thought this was the best time for me to listen to whatever she was saying but I remained silent and placed my hand on hers forcing her eyes open, with tears glistening in her large eyes she resumed.

"I couldn't die, for Madri already took that opportunity so I decided to live for him. It took everything from me to just breath and I understood living for someone is much harder than dying for someone so I focused all my attention from my husband to my young kids"

Her voice was thick with tears but she continued with such an urgency that she needed to let all these out "Arya Pandu had visions for all five of our sons especially my three sons. So I made sure to raise my sons exactly the way my husband wanted them to be"

"Do you Panchali how ridiculously frightening it was to raise my kids among people who treated them as mere intruder rather than family? Where my sons were being attacked repeatedly and absolutely nothing was being done to prevent it?"

"I—" A small squish on my arm cut me off

"I knew only if all five of my children stick together would they survive. I had always taught the younger ones to follow every word of Yudhishthir and Yudhishthir to love his younger brothers as his own kids and they did, my eldest son loves his brother more than words could ever express and my other four sons have followed each word of Yudhishthir without any question" She finally stopped to catch breath, her golden complexion had turned red from all the tears

"So Panchali" She arose from the couch, a Queenly stiffness replaced the motherly vulnerability her voice held just a second ago "I can not afford anything or anyone ruining it. My sons are my husband's dream and my husband's dream is all I am left with"

I wished I was obtuse enough to not understand what she meant but I did,  swallowing the sob that was rising in my chest I stood up "What you want me to do Mata?"

She turned to me "I want you to promise me you'll never differentiate among my sons, treat them with equal love and attention. I hope you understand what I mean"

I wanted to ask whether she loved all her sons equally, I had heard she loved her youngest the most. If a mother can do favouritism why not a wife? My life was again been tied by rules and norms, this time, they were more treacherous, rigid and pitiless.

How easily Mata Kunti had burdened my shoulder with her and her family's dreams, concealing my own dreams in the process.

I forced a smile on my face "I promise Mata. I don't trust my heart but I do trust my mind"

"Thank you dearest" She let out a shaky breath while her lips curved into a soft smile "I know, if anything you will only strengthen their bond and become their backbone"

"By the way, you heard about the division, right?"

"I did"

"As soon as Yudhishthir becomes the King of Khandavprasth, your conjugal life with him will begin"

Kind reminder, the comment section of this book is not a discussion thread, I neither have the time or zeal to have another baseless argument on a topic i had already argued 100 of times.

NOTE:—

I don't know if anyone still remember this book or not but here is an update after months( I LOATH updating so late)

To say I'm sorry would be an understatement but I am. But what can I do when I spend 10 hours in my training, give exams twice every week and miss my home every single day terribly.

The profession I chose is like that, loads of travel, no sleep and social life haha but I love it.

Coming to when I'll start updating regularly—As soon as I get used to these new changes.

I feel guilty for asking this but I'd really appreciate it if you guys could wait 🥺🥺

It won't take much long, I promise.

I love this book more than anything and never even thought of abandoning it, the readers might but as an author I'd never.

Ps. No proof of reading 💔🙂 feel free to point out mistakes

Jay shri Krishnarjun
Arjunaradhika