Ritter reprimands me Sunday morning, but I'm certain Zarko won't show his face near me again, and I highly doubt anyone else could set me off like he does. Beyond assuring me that I should not take for granted this idea that Ritter won't kick me out of training, the meeting is harmless. I promise Ritter nothing like that will happen again, and he seems mollified.

This last week before our first Performance Review, we're separated from our roommates. Ritter tells us at breakfast on Monday this is to prevent us from becoming too dependent on any one person.

"We are a united group of individuals," he says. "Your decisions are your own. Leaders are in place for guidance, but your peers are merely that: peers. They do not know enough to direct your path, so don't let them."

"Hear that?" Wick whispers across the table. "Nadia, quit letting Eveia direct your path." He gestures to our identical plates of food, then the matching braids down our backs. I stick my tongue out at him. Eveia gives him the finger.

"When it comes time to choose your team within the Kuzabn," Ritter continues, "do not simply follow your friends. Your team determines your future. Choose wisely."

He dismisses us.

"Like I would want to have to watch your back forever?" Eveia says to me and then clears her tray. "And I'm choosing the furthest floor from Wick when I can."

"Oh, you love me." He wraps his arm around her neck and pulls her head too forcefully to his chest. She smacks him until he releases her.

"You should be so lucky," she says, but her face is tinged red. We let her pretend it's just from the sudden lack of oxygen. "I get free time now; where you suckers off to?"

I read the schedule. "Guess I'm going swimming."

"Hey, me too." Kaz peers over my shoulder.

"Have fun!" Eveia says a little too smugly.

Wick takes the paper. "Man, Shark first thing?"

"Shark's not so bad." Kaz claps him on the back. "Bright side, no Anders!"

Eveia leaves us at the lounge, and we're quiet as we make our way to the pool deck. I'm both excited and nervous to be in the same group as Kaz all day. I wish I could figure out these feelings that make my stomach wriggle and twist whenever he's involved.

"You think you know what floor you'll pick when it's our turn?" he asks.

I shrug. "I haven't really thought about it. Probably Hejae's."

"Really?" He raises his eyebrows.

"His whole deal is kind of intriguing. Plus the shared Viry thing...I don't know."

Kaz laughs a little. I can't tell if it's an actual happy sound. "Yeah, I guess I forgot about the 'Viry thing'."

He keeps his eyes down, and his voice is muted, sarcastic almost. I don't know what offended him; I can't help who I was born as.

At the same time, I hate feeling like I've somehow disappointed him. "Maybe I'd choose Briar. I really like knives."

Kaz nods. "You're pretty good with them. Maybe too good." He nudges my arm with his elbow.

This is the first time he's acknowledged my scars since I showed them to him. I'm not sure his tone is entirely teasing.

"Another reason it might be best to steer clear, stick with Hejae."

"Because lies and manipulation are so much better." He holds open the pool door for me.

"Least I won't be the one getting the scars."

He smiles a little. "I hope so" is his only response.

Kiira and Shark's sessions are review, but the workouts are more intense than last week. By the time we crawl up the stairs for Briar's session, I'm exhausted. Beside me, Kaz doesn't speak. I know he trained for joining the Kuzabn, but he even seems wiped out.

When we get to Briar's gym, round targets are set up in the upstairs shooting range. Briar introduces us to archery.

This is more difficult for me than throwing knives. I can't seem to get my stance just right; my arrows don't fly very far at all. Briar tries to spend some time coaching me, but I'm not the only one having difficulties. By the end of the session, my shoulders are screaming and tense. I haven't hit my target once.

I did manage to hit Kaz's towards the end of the session. Kaz told me it didn't count.

It is with a heavy sigh I sink into the couch in the lounge when we get free session.

"Today felt as brutal as our first day." I rub my neck, but no tension leaves the rock-hard knots.

They're probably kicking it up a gear, preparing us for first rankings." Kaz sits next to me and rests his head on the back of the couch. "Briar took his time helping you; I bet he wants you on his team."

I laugh. "Yeah, if he doesn't mind my aim taking out a bystander or two."

"Ah, you'll catch on soon enough. I barely hit my board at the end."

"I think you're counting my arrow as your own."

He looks at me out of the corner of his eye. "My target, my arrow."

I laugh again. "Maybe we should come as a team. I'll take out your targets, you take the credit."

"Perfect." His eyes drift close. I take the opportunity to study him. His jaw is stubbled with hair, like he forgot to shave this morning.

The Viry have their hair removed once they hit puberty. Excess hair is seen as unsightly. Even the men, their faces, chests, backs, legs. Everywhere but the tops of our heads and eyebrows. Smoothness is next to godliness.

This is just another reminder of how far from Viry Kaz is. His neck is strong, his chest muscles pronounced through his t-shirt. His biceps stretch the edges of his sleeves.

He's too strong to be Viry. Too dark. Too different.

Yet I can't stop admiring him.

He squints an eye open, peering over at me. "What do you want to do?"

"What?" I'm startled, afraid he caught me staring, wondering what he's implying.

His grin is too mischievous for him not to have caught how flustered I've gotten, but he responds innocently. "Want to just sit here, or play that stupid guitar game Eveia was talking about at lunch, or what?"

"I don't really want to move."

He nods and closes his eyes again, folding his hands across his chest. "Agreed."

                                                                                              *

It's raining on Tuesday morning. This time I can see the fat raindrops rolling down the windows of the glass-enclosed lounge, since there are only about twenty of us milling around this free session.

"Feel bad for whoever has to swim in this rain." I laugh. "Wick."

Wick talked through breakfast about not wanting to be too heavy for his all-morning swim session.

Kaz shrugs. "He'd be getting wet regardless. Might even make the pool feel warmer."

We're back on our couch in our corner of the lounge for our free session. Instead of playing the videogras, Kaz is shuffling a deck of cards. I watch his fingers, fascinated by the dexterous way they maneuver the thin cards.

"Wick and Eveia really spent all last evening playing that guitar game? They could have played Rummy instead." He taps the deck on the table he pulled over in front of the sofa.

"I'm sure that's all they did." I know it's not. Eveia was smiling too much when she came in last night.

"Think ol' Wicky finally made a move?" Kaz's forehead is creased in concentration as he deals out the cards into two piles of seven.

"So it's obvious to you, too, huh?" I say. I slide my cards closer and pick up my hand.

"What, Eveia and Wick? So obvious. The only one it might not be obvious to is Eveia. Girls never know when a guy's into them."

"Oh no? And Wick is so sure of Eveia's feelings? Why wouldn't he just say so if that's the case?" I lean forward and take the card off the top of the deck.

Kaz shrugs. "Maybe not. Or maybe he's just sitting on it, knowing she likes him, maybe even before she knew it herself. And he just wants to wait till she figures it out." He shrugs again. "But I'm not Wick, and you're not Eveia, so I guess we'll never know."

"Mm. Such a tragedy." I discard.

It never occurred to me before how different they approach partnerships. They don't have much beauty to entice the other, so their relationship depends on companionship, this much I knew. But who knows? Maybe the Viry are wrong, and beauty comes in different aspects? Kaz, Wick, Eveia, they are not Viry beautiful, but the sum of their wholes make them beautiful in my eyes, more than any physical Viry standards could ever be.

This is the first time I've gotten something of an inside look at the process, and what strikes me the most is the choice involved.

Eveia spends just as much time with Wick as with Kaz; in fact, she's known Kaz much longer. What made her choose Wick, then? I would have thought Wick's attentions made her decision for her, but he's given me similar attention, and I'm not drawn to him.

And like Kaz said, Eveia decided, without knowing Wick's feelings for sure, that she wanted to be his Partner, or at least his Potential. So what prompted it?

I sigh. I think it is easier the Viry way. Iskren and his Matching Council determine all the Matches when the Viry children are still young, so they can get to know one another, and perhaps find the companionship the Obichny search for. There are no Potentials among the Viry, though, no reason to see anyone as a possible Partner other than one's decided Match.

Milo comes to mind, and I realize this is the first time I've thought of him since leaving home, even though he is my Match—was, I correct myself. They will find him a new Viry Partner for when he joins them next year. Funny, the thought doesn't bother me like I think it should.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Kaz looks at me with slight concern.

I forgot we were playing a game. Kaz's already laid down three-of-a-kind.

I shake my head. "Nothing really. The Viry leaders choose everyone's Partners, so it's interesting to see two people choose each other as Potentials."

"So the Viry don't have Potentials at all?" Kaz makes a face. "What if you don't like who they Match you with?"

"The Matching is based more on genetics than the Obichny seem to base their choosing; they look for strong traits that they want passed on, and to make sure the two aren't too closely related. Reproduction is more important than 'liking' someone. But they try to choose early enough so you can get to know each other." I shrug. "It seems to work."

I eye the discard pile, and my cards again. Nothing good. I draw from the deck.

Kaz juts his chin at me after I discard. "So, you have someone?"

I study him for just a moment. I don't see any of the jealousy that had been in Eveia's eyes when Wick escorted me to my room after the "Anders Incident". Kaz's expression is neutral, if not a little resigned. He doesn't take his turn until I've answered, though.

"I did. The whole becoming Kuzabn thing will probably put a damper on that relationship, though."

Kaz looks me over. "You don't think he'd still take you?"

I lift one of my shoulders. "He doesn't have a choice. That's the Viry way."

"I bet he'll fight it. You fought the system. If he's your true Match he'll fight it, too." There's a sort of disappointment to his confidence.

I laugh. "You definitely don't know Milo."

Maybe I'm reading too much into every nuance, but I think Kaz sits a bit straighter.

"So now you really are stuck slumming it with the rest of us." He grins as he reaches for the deck.

I sigh dramatically. "Woe is me!"

--------------------------

Is Kaz jealous? Do you think he likes Nadia, or that Nadia likes him - even if she doesn't realize it yet?

Til next time,

x zuz