ashutoshmoru

Dedicated to my dear friend, Ashu who helped me a lot when I was feeling diffident about my work. Thanks for coming in my life!!

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"Easy. Count to 10. One Mississippy. Two Missi-" I heard Pamela saying like those therapists speak. I was conscious but somehow, I couldn't move. I realised I was sort of in a trance. 'One Mississippi.."I began not wondering why, not caring what's going on. Simply stating, I'd lost the ability to think and move.

Again, I heard the low, gentle voice hum into my ear. This time, however, I couldn't make sense of the words. It sounded like those weird languages scribbled on ancient scriptures. As soon as the certainly-not-English words fell on my ears, a kind of dizziness started building in me again. Then suddenly, I became conscious of my body. But my eyes were still closed. All I could see was the dark stretching around me in all directions. Judging from the wet slippery feeling around my forehead, Pamela must've been rubbing another deadly liquid. And then I remembered of Silmethella. Was I dead? Was this place some sort of bridge to hell?

I forced open my eyes. But what fell before my eyes was the same thing I'd been seeing or not seeing before. I was still trapped in a never ending ocean of darkness. But this time, I could spot my arms and legs. My body was glowing pale white, as if I was a....No way! I can't be a ghost.

I willed myself to move forward and was glad I wasn't gliding over the imaginary surface I stood on. I was walking perfectly well.

"Laura."

"Laura."

"Can you hear me."

I heard the words reverberating around me. By the silky gentle voice, it must be Pamela. But where was I? What was this place? And why was Pamela's voice ringing everywhere, as if she were omnipresent?

"Yes." I weakly replied and was glad I could hear myself. I could at least shout when I'm scared. Yeah, believe me, from what I'd experienced till now, shouting and screaming actually sometimes does help. First thing, it lets your emotion out and adrenaline bursts into action. And the rare possibility is that such screams might actually confuse certain paranormal creatures. Like once when we're being chased by a one-man army Wendigo, my scream helped to confuse the monster-guy and then Sebastian could set it on fire. So, technically, my scream saved us.

"Phew." I heard her sigh. Actually, there were a million sighs around me which made me rotate my head through 360 degrees in much less than a second. An owl was now no competition to me.

"Laura, you are within your mind. Now do as I say." Pamela took a commanding tone.

"We don't have much time. Once Silmethella fades away, you'll unfortunately spring back to life. Or might get trapped in here if you're not careful. So listen carefully." She warned again.

I ignored my confusion and especially the word 'unfortunately' and nodded.

"What can you see?" The voice echoed.

"Um...nothing. It's all dark here." I replied wondering if my mind had always been this dark.

"Ok. Good. Now imagine a door." She said.

"Wait, wh-" I started but was immediately interrupted.

"Do as I say." Her gravity was clear in her voice.

Fine. I sighed and imagined a door, wondering what it'd do.

I waited. Nothing happened. Even Pamela didn't utter a word.

"Err...Pamela?" I asked waiting for her to respond.

"Ok, now enter through the door." She said.

"Pam, there's no door." I said.

"Imagine, Laura. Imagine. A normal wooden door" Pamela said impatiently. Perhaps, I was falling way behind her schedule of 'Inside My Mind With Pam-The-Psychic. '

"Laura, done?" She asked.

"Nope, thinking. " Well, I wasn't this nerdy always but after having seen Whopping Willow just yesterday, I imagined what came first to my mind. I pictured a painting of a fat lady hanging against what appeared to be plain wall. But my Harry Potter reference didn't work. So I moved to a more obvious choice.

I imagined the same door my bungalow had. It was a simple wooden door and etched in the middle, which many times embarrassed me, were the words - "Home Sweet Home."

"Laura!" Pamela shouted again and a strong sonic boom hurt my ears. Hearing to one Pam was difficult. How could I manage millions of her reverberating voices?

I focused again. Nothing happened. I gave it another shot. Again nothing changed. I was the same ghost looking shape shrouded by the infinite darkness.

Then, I saw a stream of lines appear out of nothing. It looked gibberish but when I focused, the lines and curves arranged themselves in the words "Home Sweet Home." Then a patch of wood appeared right around it which slowly stretched in all directions.

"Is it done? You are taking way too long." Disbelief was clear in her painful voice.

"It's forming," I said excitedly while focusing harder on the door. The width extended and stabilised whereas the height ofthe door kept on increasing. It then reached the dimensions of the normal door. But it didn't stop. Suddenly, it started extending at light's speed. The words 'Home Sweet Home' disappeared from my view and I found myself staring at an infinitely sized door.

"It's done, I guess." I said once I could no longer judge whether the door's growing or not.

Pamela sighed.

"Now, open it." She said.

"How?" I asked after realising there was no keyhole and I certainly didn't have a key to the door of infinity.

"Figure it out." She said and I gave a look not caring if Pamela would notice.

"Well, once you open the door, it leads you to the psychic plane. It's sort of a barrier. Think about a memory. And no fiction. " She said.

"And just so you know, if you can't get through the door in like 5 minutes, you can't return either." She said gravely.

"Meaning-" I opened my mouth.

"Yes, you'll be forever trapped in here." My jaw fell.

Ok. Calm down. You can do this. Over a few months, I'd sort of developed this supporting side. At times of grave danger, I'd somehow calm myself by telling me to calm down myself. This effect was actually a part of some psychology chapter my teacher once had explained. Unfortunately, it was my last ever lecture.

Think. There must be something. God, why can't we simply manifest a small key?

"Rules." Pamela replied.

I closed my eyes and remembered my times at home. All the memories came flooding back to me - How I'd left it when the demons had showed up?
How once while dad had taught me how to fix the door, I'd broken it further...and I went back and back until I was a small child, not more than seven. I remembered myself standing in front of the door, training my dog Luppy to climb out of the small hole my dad had helped me make in the door. Then, after Luppy would climb out, I'd go to the other side of the door and tell Luppy to come back again through the door. But one day, he wouldn't come. I realised he wanted me to go through the hole myself, instead of going through the usual way. I tried and tried, but couldn't. The hole was a bit higher and I couldn't jump that high.

I opened my eyes and found my 7 year old transform into the 17 year me. I was about to close my eyes to think about something else, when I saw a hole appear in the door.

"Just 2 minutes left." Pamela tried to saturate all her emergency in these words.

"I can't jump. It's too high." I said.

"Figure it out, I don't know what's in front of you." Pamela replied truthfully.

"Remember, it's your mind." Pamela said as if it were the biggest clue.

But then I realised it indeed was helpful. It was my mind. My mind, my rules. I pictured the hole to come downward. It won't move. Okay, this door is weird. It's not in my control. Then I imagined myself flying and to my surprise, I really did shot off in the air. I slowly approached the hole and just beneath the giant letters 'Home Sweet Home', I saw the wide hole inviting me. I went through it and emerged at what looked like the same space I was at before - the same ocean of dense darkness.

"Pamela?" I asked. No answer hit my ears. Wondering where was I now, I took a step further in the darkness. "Pam?" I asked out loud again. But apparently, she'd lost contact with me. Pamela would never play such prank of not answering otherwise. What if I didn't make it in those five minutes? Horror grabbed me when I almost got convinced that I'd be trapped here for ever.

But that's when a familiar voice fell over my longing ear drums.

"Laura." From the hurried way she spoke to me, she did sound like Pamela. But her voice had changed. And the other thing which surprised me was, her vocie was coming through my mind. She was within me.

"Pam?" I asked just to make sure I wasn't having any hallucinations. Well, if being trapped in an infinite dark sea wasn't hallucinating enough.

She didn't answer and I took a step further. That's when things became quite serious. When I was almost convinced I was all alone in this void, in this nothingness, I realised how wrong was I. As soon as I took that step, something got triggered and my bare feet felt a sudden calm coldness. Where I'd been standing, an ocean of dark waters had appeared from no where. But the ocean wasn't what took my immediate attention. It was a giant structure which separated me from what existed beyond it. It was a giant wall of pale blue glowing material which didn't allow me to go further. At the centre of this gaint wall, there was a piece of paper, like a seal.

"Laura. Listen!" Pamela sounded urgent than ever. Her pained voice also told it took a lot to maintain the conversation. She was barely holding up.

"Something's, something's keeping me away from your psyche. The barrier's too strong than what I'd anticipated. Actually, no one can make a barrier so strong!" She paused and then continued again.

"Listen, I can't go further in. It will wipe my spiritual existence. I can't risk it. Now, listen, when you go in there, you'll see a memory spiral. Look at the red door and blue windows near-" And that was the last I heard from her.

"Pamela? Pamela?" I asked but she didn't reply. Perhaps, she'd lost the energy to keep going.
Damn it! I sighed. I didn't know what exactly to do and a small mistake might make me pay a great price.

Okay. It's just like before. I need to undo this barrier.

I approached the pale blue walls. It wasn't certainly brick. It looked metallic, if a pale blue glowing metal did exist. I touched it and realised my shade matched with its. We shared a similar composition. Then, I went over to the seal placed at the middle of the door. It looked like normal paper, just a few hundred centuries old and scribbled on it was an intricate pattern. Judging from how it was written, it must be a verse from some crazy language.

But before I could concentrate, I realised I was feeling wet near the knees. The whatever-liquid-it-was level had been rising continuously.

Damn it! I cursed.

To make matters worse, I realised I could no longer move. The liquid was too dense. I couldn't even move my feet by inches. When all logic said I should jump and run wherever I could, I stayed there transfixed, staring at the seal. For some reason, I found the seal very familiar. It was also the only way I could get out of here.

I kept staring at the pattern and finally, something happened.

Lamae Sectum Herideseus
Sectus Prescute Himedervius

The words suddenly started popping in my mind. I spoke so fluently as if I'd been speaking this language since my birth.

Surprised and shocked, I reread the pattern. Each time I'd read it, it would make more sense to me.

But I didn't have all the time of the world. The water was now at my neck and I felt like I was being bathed by tar.

Ignoring my condition, I continued studying the pattern, stressing my mind for its meaning. And gradually I deciphered what it said.

Beware, oh fool, don't enter hither
By the grace of Lady Rune, shalth you be burneth

I paused to make sense of it. But my brain had now flared up a white flag. It was too tired to think further. Besides, the liquid was now pouring in my system through mouth and nose. I couldn't taste it but I could definitely feel the cold wetness and suffocation and the feeling of claustrophobia.

I kicked and tried to rise through the water, but couldn't. It was as dense as iron.

Who was Lady Rune? And why was there a barrier here? I needed to get out and the only way that felt obvious was to shred away the seal.

With great effort, I somehow managed to go below the surface and approached the submerged seal.

I touched the seal and with the last of my fading energies, I tore it open.

You can't keep me away from my place. I said and saw the walls crumble. But that didn't end my problem. As the walls disappeared, the water took control and became as turbulent as a strengthening tsunami.

The walls crumbled before me and I helplessly drowned in the infinity of darkness. Soon, the overwhelming darkness was hard to resist and I felt myself drowning further. I saw my pale light fade away as the darkness devoured my essence.
Was this it?