I know, I know, this is the THIRD post today. But I can't contain myself anymore.

I watched Toy Story 4. And I need therapy. *cuddles my tea and characters close for a nice writing session*

I honestly never thought I would do one of these "spoiler warning" posts, but here I am. Can't process my emotions. And for reasons no-one could ever guess.

(This is your last warning to clear out before spoilers)

You see, Woody and Buzz have always made me think a little bit of Mordred and Berethar. Not in every area, certainly, but it's always been there in the back of my mind. Mordred and Berethar -- Woody and Buzz. Together. Loyal. Unswerving brothers-in-arms. It's meant to be.

So when Woody and Buzz separated, it killed me. I can't even explain it. I've tried to analyze it verbally about five times now and the words don't cut it. It was just all wrong.

You can tell me that Woody (I literally nearly typed Mordred) needed to move on. That he deserved to spend some time with Bo. That he wasn't getting anything out of his life with Bonnie and now he has a chance at purpose and healing from the loss of Andy. And I'll agree with you. Every word. I'll freely admit the ending has closure and even hope. But every time I think of Woody and Buzz holding gazes on that carousel, everything shatters and it's all, all wrong, and I lose it. So much in that silent gaze. So many days of friendship. A Mordred and Berethar type of friendship. For me, that will never be okay.

Speaking of Mor-EXCUSE me, Woody... CAN I CRY SOME MORE WHEN I THINK ABOUT HIS LIFE

Woody's grown so much over all these Toy Story movies. And yet he's still the same guy. He really made me think of Mordred in this one more than in the other movies. He's a bit more mature than young Mordred, but his impulsive action, his quick-thinking brain, his blind loyalty and selflessness, his empathy and -- DANG IT I AM NOT OKAY THAT HE LOST HIS VOICE BOX NO NOT OKAY THAT WAS A PART OF WOODY *sobs* I mean sure I love him for it but NOT OKAY NOT OKAY SOS

Anyway. He's lost so much that he knows he's never getting back. He keeps going with these self-imposed missions because he doesn't know what else to do, and that in itself is so Mordred because it's literally what he does in The War and so I feel Woody's pain on a very deep level aGAIN NOT OKAY NOT OKAY MY BOYS BOTH OF THEM

*sobbing*

Now, back to that writing session. As soon as I got out of the theater, I had this gut urge to write Berethar's death... I think this is my brain's way of processing the trauma...