Chapter 9 - Percy Lives Up To His Codename

Art by imallears2012

On the following Monday, I returned to work. I spent most of the day delivering coffee to busy reporters, as usual, but there was one unusual thing that happened.

Shortly before our lunch break, I walked past Declan, who was presumably hard at work on whatever story he was writing. I was about to go right past him so I could ask Gwen what I was supposed to do next when Declan suddenly yelled, "Vanessa! Come on over here!"

Vanessa sighed and got up from her desk. "What is it?" she asked.

"What would be a good synonym for 'powerful?'" Declan asked.

"Why don't you just Google it?" Vanessa suggested.

"I should have thought of that," Declan said.

As he typed "synonyms for powerful" into the search engine, Vanessa asked, "What are you writing? Were you trying to find a new word to describe Captain Fedora's super speed again?"

"They're space-time manipulation powers, but I'm not writing about Captain Fedora," Declan said. "I'm writing about the aftermath of the earthquake. Did you know that they're going to have to rebuild most of the Academy building next to us?"

"I didn't know that," Vanessa said, despite the fact that Ellen had mentioned it a few days earlier.

"We're lucky that our building wasn't damaged," Declan said, yanking me out of my own mind. "Thank goodness this place is earthquake resistant."

Space-time manipulation powers, I repeated in my head. That was the phrase that Captain Fedora always used to describe his own powers, even though it was possibly the most pretentious way to describe super speed that I had ever heard. I had never heard anyone other than Captain Fedora use that phrase, and for a moment, the crazy idea that I had thought of when I had first met Declan popped into my head again. Then again, perhaps it was only a coincidence.

Vanessa leaned over to look at Declan's computer screen. She then said, "Declan, do you really have to check your email every five minutes?"

"It's like a compulsion," Declan said as his eyes scanned over the screen. "I only got one piece of mail, and I'm pretty sure it's a scam."

"Why don't you try replying to it?" Vanessa suggested. "I've heard that messing with scammers is fun, and it distracts them so they can't scam anyone else."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Declan asked. "You were just complaining about me spending too much time checking my email."

"I just think that it would be fun," Vanessa said.

At this point, my curiosity got the best of me. I looked over at Declan's computer screen and read the scam email.

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: PLEASE HELP A GOOD FRIEND

Dear Good Friend,

I am Parsifal Wernher, and I need to transfer $100 million US Dollars into a new bank acount. If you are intersted, I can give you more details once you respond. I will give you 50% of th money once it is transferred, If you are willin to help me please respond with your name, address, and phone number.

Thanks

Parsifal Wernher

"You noticed that it's from Percy, right?" I whispered to Vanessa as Declan attempted to compose a reply.

"Of course I did," Vanessa said. "It's kind of obvious. There's no money involved - Percy just enjoys messing with people, so we're messing with him now."

"What if Declan finds out?" I asked.

"About what?" Vanessa said.

"Well, he's normal, isn't he?" I said.

"Yes, and I like it that way," Vanessa said. "Having a superpowered boyfriend would just be too much work."

"Vanessa, can you check this over?" Declan asked, interrupting our conversation. Vanessa and I both looked at the computer screen and read over Declan's email.

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: PLEASE HELP A GOOD FRIEND

Dear Parsifal,

I am definitely interested in helping you transfer your $100 million. Please tell me more of the details. Also, is it okay if I recommend some spell check software?

Sincerely,

Your Good Friend

"Perfect," Vanessa said.

Declan clicked the send button, and I walked away, thinking that the whole affair was finally done. After my lunch break and a few more hours of menial tasks, I realized that I was mistaken. When Declan asked for a refill on his coffee, I saw that he and Vanessa were still emailing back and forth with Percy.

"What should I do next?" Declan asked Vanessa. "He's still insisting that I need to tell him what my name is before we can do any business."

Vanessa thought about it for a few minutes and then said, "Why don't you just give him a ridiculous fake name?"

"What should I use though?" Declan asked.

"Anything will do," Vanessa said.

"How about Josh Homme?" I suggested.

"Queens of the Stone Age is a great band, but that's not quite silly enough for this purpose," Declan said. "You have amazing music taste though."

"Thanks," I said with a smile.

"I'm just going to claim that I'm Iron Man and call it a day," Declan said as he began to type up another email.

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: PLEASE HELP A GOOD FRIEND

Hello again Parsifal!

I know that you have asked several times about my name, and in response to your repeated requests, I will finally give you an answer.

I am in fact none other than the genius billionaire playboy philanthropist known as Tony Stark.

Now can you please tell me how I can get the $100 million?

Almost immediately, Declan received a reply.

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: PLEASE HELP A GOOD FRIEND

Dear Tony (if that is really your name),

If you're really iron man, why the hell would you need $100 million? Please reply to this email with your REAL name.

Sincerely,

A Very Frustrated Parsifal Wernher

"I don't even know how to respond to that one," Declan said. "He has a point. Jay, aren't you supposed to be refilling my coffee?"

"I'm sorry," I said. "I got a little bit distracted." I left the newsroom and refilled Declan's coffee, and when I returned, Vanessa and Declan were having an entirely different conversation.

"Thanks Jay," Declan said as he took his coffee. He turned back to Vanessa and asked, "Where should we meet for our anniversary?"

"Why don't we go to the beach where we had our first date?" Vanessa suggested.

"That sounds nice," Declan said.

"Does 7:00 work?" Vanessa asked.

"I think so," Declan said. "I don't really have any other plans that night."

"Me neither," Vanessa said. "I think it's settled then. I'll see you at 7:00 at the beach on our anniversary then."

Declan smiled and said, "I can't wait."

"I can't believe that we've been dating for almost a year," Vanessa said. "It sometimes seems like we just met."

"It's crazy, isn't it?" Declan said. "Wait a second. I need to check my email." Vanessa rolled her eyes, and Declan opened up his email again. "Oh look. I got another email from Parsifal. You're right, Vanessa. This is pretty fun."

I had my doubts at first, but the idea that I had thought of when I first met Declan seemed rather reasonable now. Could Declan really be Captain Fedora? He had described Captain Fedora's abilities as "space-time manipulation powers," and if he was Captain Fedora, then that would explain why Percy was emailing him. Then again, Percy was the sort of person who would enjoy scamming a random employee at the San Urbano Times. It didn't necessarily mean that Declan was Captain Fedora.

Then again, the more that I thought about it, the more that it made sense to me. Declan McAllister seemed like a familiar name, so maybe I had met him at some point. There were other explanations, but he did look a little bit like Captain Fedora too, and journalism was known to be a common career path for superheroes who were trying to hide in plain sight. It would explain a lot if he was Captain Fedora.

No matter how much sense it made, I still had no proof. There was nothing to back up my claim, so I couldn't tell my suspicions to anyone, especially not Vanessa. She wouldn't believe me, and even if she did, she would be furious if she knew that her beloved boyfriend was Captain Fedora.

For the rest of the day, I kept an eye on Declan and Vanessa, but I couldn't find any proof that he really was Captain Fedora. By the time Vanessa was ready to drive me back to Ellen's castle, I thought that perhaps I was wrong. Maybe I was mistaken, and Declan was in fact completely normal. I barely knew him, after all.

On the way home, I briefly considered asking Vanessa about it, but I decided that it was a bad idea. She had known Declan for a long time, and she didn't seem to think that anything was off about him. If Declan was Captain Fedora, Vanessa would know about it by now.

Vanessa pulled up in front of the castle, and we both got out of the car and went inside. I immediately went up to the office, where Percy was playing with Ellen's computer. When Vanessa got there, she glared at Percy and asked, "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," Percy said as he closed the laptop and handed it to Vanessa.

"I know you've been up to something," Vanessa said. "Don't you realize that scamming random people won't get you anywhere?"

"You just have to trust me, Vanessa," Percy said. "I have a great plan, and I promise you that it will work. Just give it some time."

"Percy, I don't think any of your plans have ever worked before," Vanessa said. "Why should I believe that this one will?"

"She has a good point," I said.

"I have a great feeling about this plan," Percy said. "I just know that it will work."

Vanessa sighed and then said, "Just don't complain to me when your evil plan fails again, Percy. You truly are a gadfly, aren't you?"

"I like to think that I am," Percy said, smiling.

That was when I remembered that Percy was trying to figure out Captain Fedora's secret identity. I considered telling him about my suspicions, but this was a terrible time. Vanessa would be there for the rest of the evening. If I could get Percy alone, I could tell him about Declan possibly being Captain Fedora, but that would be tough, especially now that I had a job. Vanessa and I were usually at the castle at the same times. Besides, I still had no proof.

Later that evening, my dad picked me up, and I returned home, still unsure of what to do. If I was lucky, Percy would figure out Captain Fedora's secret identity on his own, but I wanted to help him however I could. I wanted to find a way to prove that Declan was Captain Fedora, but I didn't know how. By the time we arrived home, I decided to simply keep an eye on Declan and see if I could find any obvious proof of whether or not he really was Captain Fedora. There wasn't much else that I could do.

That night, I thought of Percy and Vanessa one last time. Helping one of them could mean hurting the other, and I hated that idea. There had to be an easier solution, but I couldn't think of it. Yet again, I felt like I was entirely useless.