Hoseok shoved the folded tee into his backpack, pushing it in deep down to try and leave some room for the last few items. Across the room the rest of his friends were hastily preparing their bags for tomorrow, for when they set out to the next city more or less the moment the sun appeared on the horizon. Despite everything that had happened he could sense that Jungkook was almost ecstatic at the thought of finally getting to leave and walk about. He had spent the afternoon hours walking around the room, not exactly pacing but seemingly needing to burn his energy somehow. How the boy was able to do that after his accident with the car was near a miracle in his opinion and he remembered that Seokjin had joked about him being lucky. Well, wasn't that the truth? Hoseok felt terrible because he hadn't downed a palmful of pills and the youngest boy had been ploughed by a car and was practically doing somersaults. The irony was not lost on him and he felt a little pathetic.

"If you don't think you can leave," Yoongi said as he pulled his cigarette free, "then just tell us now Kookie. We won't be pissed, I promise." He was seated on his packed holdall, legs cocked in front of him as he slouched forward and tapped ash on the carpet.

"Hey, I can walk just fine," Jungkook said with a grin as he zipped his backpack up. "I'll probably end up carrying you."

"Fine? Shit, you guys see his ribs, huh? Show 'em." And so the boy grabbed the bottom of his tee and lifted the material to flash his stomach and lower ribs. The sight it revealed was a mixture of mottled and hideous bruises all over his skin: purples and blues and even a little redness. Hoseok felt himself wincing as he shoved another tee into the backpack and he heard gasps and muttered noises from his other friends. "He's got a bruise the shape of the European continent on his fucking ribs and he's 'fine'." Yoongi smirked as he shoved the stick back into his mouth. "This kid, I swear."

"Besides, I'll be right back in a hostel room as soon as we enter the next city," Jungkook said as he lifted his bag and dropped it on the floor beside the bed, grimacing only slightly as he worked his sore muscles. "At least I'm not stuck on my ass all day."

"Wish I was," Yoongi muttered under his breath, making them all laugh as he did.

"Do you think there'll be a mechanics in the next city?" Jimin asked from his position on the floor, legs folded up in front of him and his elbows resting on them.

"Yeah Dumbass, I'm pretty sure they'll be a mechanics," Taehyung said with a smirk as he emerged from the bathroom, hair still damp from his shower earlier.

"You know what I mean," the boy said with an eye roll. "One that'll hire me."

Hoseok hadn't been out on the streets searching for work but by all accounts it was pretty damn hard to find in this city. Jungkook had failed on his first day but the others had not, yet today their options had dried up considerably. Yoongi had decided to not pursue the pizza delivery job for fear of getting arrested and had only managed to secure a single shift of washing dishes in the late evening after wandering all day. Namjoon's day long shift in a gas station filling cars up and working the tills once or twice had brought in a paltry wage that was almost laughable considering the hours he had worked yesterday, and today he had already been beaten to the mark by another desperate worker, meaning that he had walked the streets and found nothing; coming back empty-handed and tired. Jimin had secured the car washing and mechanic job and it seemed that he might just have been able to keep it for quite some time, if not permanently, but he couldn't raise all of the cash they needed on his own and therefore they needed to move somewhere with better opportunities.

And Taehyung...he didn't even know what Taehyung was up to.

Hoseok still couldn't believe what the boy had done last night. It wasn't just the fact that he had gotten wasted on the streets of this strange city alone, staggering around drunk and vulnerable and confused, but also what had happened upon him returning to the hostel room with Namjoon in tow. Of course he had needed their friend to support him because he had barely been able to walk and he had climbed into the bed and had woken him up, the mattress shifting and creaking rather loudly. Hoseok had been disorientated for a few seconds but when he had detected the strong and unmistakable scent of vodka he had known that it was Taehyung climbing in beside him. He had lain there and had waited to see if the boy would have said anything but he hadn't, he had just stayed silent...or at least until the others had fallen asleep. It had taken some time for Yoongi to finally settle down on the settee but the work hours had drained him enough to actually allow him to sleep for once. Then had came the drunken mumbling and touching.

He had purposely avoided sharing beds with Taehyung for this very purpose, instead sharing with Jungkook just to make sure that he didn't roll into it drunk one night and yet he had been unable to avoid it of course. His friends were on the floor or squished onto settees and the other boy had just had to make sure that he had ended up with him. He still wasn't sure if it was on purpose or a genuine accident.

At first it had been the snuggling up against his back, arm snaking over his side and chin digging into the hollow between his neck and shoulder so that he could feel his breath on his skin, irritatingly warm and stinking of vodka. Then he had started to mumble things, mostly nonsense things that he hadn't been able decipher at all: about subways and old men and something about real friends. Hoseok had put up with it only because he had been too tired to tell him to go asleep, convinced that he would talk himself into unconsciousness if left alone to rant. But then Taehyung had turned his head and brushed his lips along his throat, nuzzling at his skin, and he had not expected that. The contact had been soft at first, barely enough for him to really register it, but then he had kissed his neck and Hoseok had felt his breath catching in his throat. Taehyung had pressed his mouth against his throat, lips a little chapped but surprisingly soft, and though Hoseok had instinctively felt his shoulders going up at the contact he hadn't pushed him away. His lips on his skin, moving along up to his jawline until he had opened them and darted his tongue out; tongue as warm as his breath but also wet. Hoseok had felt his fingers sinking into the bed sheets in surprise as the boy had sucked at his skin, the press of his teeth as he lightly nibbled. But when he had felt his hand moving from over his waist to run down his stomach, right towards the waistband of his underwear, Hoseok had finally shrugged him off and told him to go to sleep. But Taehyung had been drunk and he had burrowed his face against his neck again, muttering that he just wanted something to make him feel better, that he was cold and lonely and-

So Hoseok had rolled onto his back and forcibly moved his hand away, had told him that he needed to stop all the time hoping that his heated whispers wouldn't wake anyone up. After more drunken fumbling Taehyung had given up and had moved to lie at the bottom of the bed, curling up on his feet like a dog and finally giving him a little peace. Hoseok had sat up and looked at him for a few minutes, observing the way he rolled up knees up and made himself as small as possible: a strange attempt at comfort. He had just lain back down when Taehyung had quietly apologised and he had fallen asleep playing those words over and over in his head.

Why did this have to happen to him? Wasn't he in enough of a bad situation right now? He really didn't need this added trouble on top but it wasn't like he could control the other boy's feelings. He just didn't really know what Taehyung wanted because there was always a twist to it all; he was drunk and a little frisky and by the morning he 'wouldn't' remember even when it was obvious that he did. Why did Taehyung act that way? If he didn't care then he would be upfront about it, like he was about everything else, so why was he so confusing when it came to him? Was the boy ashamed by his feelings, trying to deny them whilst also trying to give into them in a way that could be used as a good excuse? He didn't seem the type to give a shit but it was the only conclusion Hoseok could come to right now.

And whilst Taehyung was annoyingly keeping his secrets and acting so childish, Jungkook had finally opened up a little more than usual. Granted he and Seokjin hadn't really gotten a proper answer out of him yesterday afternoon but what they had gotten was better than nothing. The boy had been acting a little off because he had stolen cash from a dropped wallet in a moment of stupidity and he had been letting it eat him up the entire time. If they had had any worries about Jungkook turning out like Taehyung then Hoseok didn't think that they would have them for much longer, for the boy had shown a guilty conscious that the other had yet to. Taehyung had stolen so much over the years and whenever any of them asked him to stop, asked him if he felt bad about doing it, he would just shrug it off and claim that he didn't care. Perhaps deep down Taehyung did feel guilty and he just hid it very well but he doubted it. Jungkook had stolen a couple of thousand won and felt like shit and Hoseok was actually relieved that he did because he thought that it would scare the boy off carrying on down that particular road at least. They still had a ways to go with the fighting and the temper but they were getting there and maybe soon they would be able to solve that little problem too.

"We'll find something," Namjoon said as he finished his own packing and sat down with a weary sigh. "I'm sure we will."

"You don't sound very optimistic," Hoseok said as he awkwardly tried to zip his backpack up, so full that it was hard to do so. He tried to shove his clothing down hard and quickly drag the zipper a few times but it still wouldn't budge.

"Hard to be optimistic when you're half-asleep," his friend muttered as he lay down and used his holdall as a pillow, spreading out on the floor like a starfish, limbs akimbo. "Let me try again...we're gonna find work, we're gonna strike it rich and ride back to Seoul in a motherfucking limo. How's that? Does that sound better?"

"A lot better," Jungkook agreed with a wide grin.

Hoseok dragged the zip close with a sigh of relief and then also moved to place his backpack at the bottom of the bed, sitting down on the edge as he did. He had done nothing all day except talk and lounge around the hostel room, occasionally fall into naps for several minutes before waking back up to boredom. But despite all of this he felt drained and heavy and he knew that it was the pills; that he needed the stupid pills. But he hadn't touched them in nearly three days now and he couldn't give in, not after everything. Packing his bag had been hellish because he had eyed the interior compartment and had known that the bottle was in there, beckoning to him: little brown plastic bottle with the uncoated white pills that would dissolve on his tongue and leave a bitter taste. If he was going to judge Taehyung for getting wasted then he wasn't going to swallow one of those pills.

"How big is the limo?" Yoongi asked and Namjoon actually opened one eye to stare up at the ceiling, expression showing that he couldn't believe he was being asked this question. After a few seconds he said it would be big and the other man smirked. "No shit Sherlock."

"Then stop asking stupid questions Watson."

"Yeah yeah, go to sleep Mr. Holmes."

"Gladly," Namjoon muttered as he wriggled to get comfortable on the floor. Almost as if this was a sign the others went quiet and seemed to contemplate sleep, and so Hoseok got to his feet and offered the bed he had been using in favour of the settee. He saw Taehyung looking at him at this, expression unreadable, but he didn't really care. There was only room for one person on the settee. Yoongi argued that he should use the bed, not explicitly mentioning the whole collapsing incident but hinting at it so strongly he probably should have. Hoseok just said that he was fine and that someone else deserved to sleep in it seen as he had used it all day long, and so Jimin took him up on the offer.

"Namjoon," he said, "there's a spare space on the bed if you want it?" But the young man just mumbled about being comfortable, voice revealing that he was mere moments from falling asleep. Jungkook and Seokjin already had a bed, so that left the space for Yoongi or maybe Taehyung. Hoseok moved to sit on the settee and after a few seconds he decided to try and lie on it. It wasn't comfortable at all and he could see why Yoongi had told him to use the bed instead, but at least he could rest in peace on the settee.

Or so he thought.

As luck would have it Taehyung didn't take the space on the bed and rather just sat on the floor by the coffee table, a mere few feet away from him. Hoseok wanted to be annoyed at this but he knew that it was going to happen because he had seen the boy looking at him before. After some mumbling and smoking and complaining Yoongi finally decided to climb into the bed with the other boy and yet Hoseok could find no such rest. He couldn't sleep because Taehyung was clearly going to speak to him and it was pointless trying to drift off to be woken again by his hand gently shaking his shoulder. So after the hostel room fell deathly silent save for the white noise of traffic out of the open window he took a deep breath and let out in a sigh.

"What?" At his voice the other boy shifted suddenly, chin no longer balanced on his drawn-up knees. Taehyung held his gaze and actually tried to look bewildered by his question. He would have laughed if he wasn't so tired. "What do you want Tae?"

"Why'd you think I want something?"

"You're hanging around me like a puppy, I thought it was pretty obvious that you wanted something..."

"Maybe I just wanted to check that you're OK." Hoseok lied about feeling perfectly fine and it was the other boy's time to laugh. "Yeah yeah, sureyou are."

"I'd feel a lot more OK if you let me sleep you kno-"

"Hoseok," Taehyung said his name so suddenly that he felt the word dying on his tongue, unable to even finish the final syllable. It felt like forever since he had last heard his friend call him by his actual name and not just that stupid nickname and that was when he realised that the boy really wanted to talk to him. This was a serious thing indeed. "What happened last night..."

"You were drunk right? Like always."

"No, I mean yeah I was drunk but that wasn't the reason. It wasn't, hear me out." Taehyung shifted to get onto his knees, scooting the last few feet so he was right in front of the settee. "I wanted to do that. It wasn't 'cos I was drunk or anything." The boy folded his arms on the slight jut of cushion still available, just beside his stomach, and he studied his face as he spoke. "But it was pretty fucking stupid..."

"Why do you think it was stupid?" Hoseok asked in a quiet voice.

"'Cos we're sharing a room with everyone else. 'Cos I didn't even talk to you about it and just kinda...kissed you like that."

"I don't mind that you did that, I mean I don't think that I mind," he muttered, aware that he was making no sense but struggling to sort his words out properly in his head. He still didn't really know what he felt about the kiss last night but he did know that the sensation of his lips on his throat had been rather pleasant. "But you're right about the room thing and-"

"We should go out together," Taehyung interrupted. "You and me. No one else to worry about and-"

"Tae, it's nearly midnight."

"Nobody needs to know, I won't tell if you don't."

Hoseok felt the most compelling urge to bite down on his lower lip and he couldn't stop himself from doing so. Right now the boy was asking him to leave the hostel room in the middle of the night, to leave the others and just go off with him without even telling him where. Why did he think that he would agree to do that, and why did the idea sound so strangely appealing right now? It would be a break from the monotonous hours cooped up in the room, but what exactly did Taehyung have in mind? To sneak off to a bar like usual? They didn't have the cash to spare on booze so that didn't seem very likely. To go find a park somewhere and just talk without needing to whisper? He didn't think that that was the case at all. He didn't think that Taehyung wanted to do much talking. Hoseok noticed the boy staring at his mouth and so he stopped gnawing on his lip almost instantly.

"Go where?" he finally managed to ask.

"Go to..." Taehyung paused before shifting slightly, doing so because he seemed to be nervous about what he was going to say. He just waited without a word until he finished. "We could go to another hostel..."

There it was, out in the open. Hoseok didn't know whether to cheer because the boy had finally stopped backtracking on himself and instead just took the plunge, or to rapidly start blustering about what he had just said to him. It was pretty obvious what he was hinting at and he didn't feel as shocked by the suggestion as he had thought he would be. For some reason he felt a little nervous.

"I don't think that's a good idea..."

"What part? The part with me or the part with the hostel?"

"The running off part," Hoseok clarified, "because there's been enough trouble these past few days and I don't want to make any more." Taehyung went quiet and it seemed that he might be pondering on this, thinking his words over, and he let his eyes wander across the room as he did. Friends still asleep or at least seemingly asleep from what he could see. "Do you...do you really like me that much Tae?" The boy didn't confirm nor deny this but he hadn't really expected him to. That would have been too simple but he already knew what the answer was even if he wouldn't admit to it.

"If it wasn't for the trouble...would you have said yes?" Taehyung asked in a quiet voice, barely audible even in the silence of the room.

"...Yes," Hoseok said after a few seconds of thought, "I would have said yes Tae."

The bridge in front of them was broad and long, somewhat reminiscent of Mapo Bridge back in Seoul. The centre was a medium grey tarmac and on either side there were two walkways to allow pedestrians to walk across it. The walkways were separated from the road by metal railings that reached the waist, and there were also identical ones along the length as a barricade to keep people from getting too close to the edge. But they weren't high enough to deter people from possibly attempting to jump over them, rendering their use rather pointless in his opinion. There were metal support beams on the bridge and they were so wide that he needed to stretch his arms out to be as wide. The water that ran underneath it smelled strongly of brine and passing over it by car with the windows unrolled would probably be refreshing but standing on the bridge with the scent in his lungs he found it a little nauseating, mostly because the exhaust fumes mingled with it and made a terrible perfume that clung at the back of his throat. He already felt bad enough, he didn't think that this was going to alleviate the nausea and it was going to take them some time to get across it.

They had already been walking for at least two hours but there didn't seem to be much longer left until they reached the next city. The bridge seemed to be a sign that they were nearing civilisation, for it was rather like a freeway and that hinted that this road was very well used. That meant they must have been near a city at least and Yesan County was quite the distance behind them. By that logic he estimated perhaps another couple of minutes of walking would see them at the next city, Dangjin, judging from the signs that he had been eyeing as they had walked the streets. Those two hours seemed as long as twenty to him, for Hoseok was starting to feel a little jittery from the lack of pills. He wasn't shaking or vomiting yet but he thought by the evening he might just be. He didn't think that the upcoming lunch would stay down for too long, the lunch they would hopefully be eating before the others ran off to find work. Yet Jungkook seemed perfectly fine. He didn't race off like usual and rather just walked at a nice steady pace but he didn't drag his feet or complain. His expression actually looked rather chill and composed, whereas Hoseok felt like he might just be grimacing a little. The boy had even attempted and succeeded in climbing on a small grassy ledge to walk along it earlier, making them all eye him nervously for fear getting back down would be impossible with his bruised ribs. Jungkook almost seemed to be showing off but he knew that he wasn't doing it to brag, rather he was trying to reassure them that he was perfectly okay and that they didn't need to worry about his accident.

Hoseok stayed back to observe the sight of the bridge but his friends did not, instead carrying on walking along it without a care. They all milled on the right side walkway in a little huddle, not being able to walk spread out like usual because it was too narrow. Therefore they needed to walk in pairs or threes to fit on comfortably. He took a deep breath and let it out again, contemplating pulling his tee over the bottom of his face to block the scent of exhaust fumes but knowing that he would look stupid so he decided not to.

"Hey, what does that say?" Jimin asked suddenly slowing down so that he could stare at one of the support beams as they passed it, squinting as the sun hit him in the eyes before lifting his hand to make a visor.

"Think about your family," Seokjin said as he also slowed down and looked at it. For a moment no one said anything and then he made a soft noise under his breath as it hit him. "Anti-suicide signs..."

"They have those?" Jungkook asked in a surprised voice, actually stopping to look at it, mouth open slightly. "Whoa...kinda cool."

"How is it cool?" Hoseok caught up with the gang and he also stopped because he didn't want to push past them.

"It's cool that they put those up even if they don't help people all of the time, they still put them up there just in case." The boy had his hands shoved into his jacket pockets and he looked strangely naked without his holdall bag in hand. Namjoon had demanded he let him carry it just so he wouldn't work his ribs too much with the weight of it. The boy had a point, it was a good idea because even if just one person saw the signs and changed their mind it was a life saved.

The signs were white metallic squares held onto the support beams with thick bolts. The weather hadn't aged them and the red letters were bold and still in place for all to see. He looked along the length of the bridge and saw multiple ones in place, likely also mirrored on the opposite side to keep them secure. What did they all say? He was curious enough to want to check all of them: a strange form of sightseeing as if they were tourist attractions to take photographs of and not signs to stop to people from hurling themselves over the side of the bridge they were currently standing on.

"This place must be a popular suicide spot," Namjoon said quietly and Taehyung continued walking ahead to get to another one of the signs, head turned so that he could locate it and pace almost a jog.

"Shit, how bad a state would you have to be to think about jumping from a place like this?" Yoongi asked before visibly shuddering, his own dislike of heights making him clearly uncomfortable. Jimin wandered over to the barricade to look down over the side, folding his arms on the metal railing so he could lean forward, and after a moment the man reached over to grab his arm and pull him away.

"Do Not Jump! Please Seek Help!" Taehyung declared. "Hey Dumbass, you're not that good at following instructions you'd probably jump." There was a wide grin on his face but Hoseok felt that he was playing it dangerously close and that the joke wasn't that funny at all. Yoongi might just remark about him being a bully again, and he wouldn't blame him if he did.

"Oh yeah?" Jimin asked as he fixed his backpack up onto his shoulders, Yoongi's hand still on his arm. "What would you do if I just jumped, huh? Like right now?"

"We'd replace you with a puppy," Taehyung retorted as he turned on his heel and carried on walking.

For a few seconds they all just stayed where they were, all looking at the back of the boy as he got a good distance ahead of them, and then slowly his friends started walking again. Hoseok dragged his eyes away from Taehyung and looked over at the other boy. He was standing just a few feet away, Yoongi at his side beside the barricade. He could see the man looking at Jimin, expression silently talking to him. Hoseok didn't have a clue what he was saying, couldn't read the slightest narrowing of his eyes and the most delicate twitch of his eyebrows and lips. Yet it seemed Jimin could because he just shrugged lightly, as if brushing Taehyung's words and his concern off without a care. Hoseok wished that he didn't see the most briefest look of dejection on his expression before he did.

He knew that Taehyung hadn't meant anything inherently cruel with his words, that it was just a stupid attempt at humour. But there was no denying the fact that there was some cruelty in it, intended or not. Jimin had to put up with the nicknames and 'play' wrestling all of the time, being the proverbial piggy in the middle between Taehyung and Jungkook. Not that long ago it had been him and Taehyung but Hoseok had rapidly gotten bored of it and had instead decided to stop treating the other boy that way. Maybe now he had stepped away from it all he saw how unfair it was for Jimin, and it was no surprise that Yoongi was constantly checking up on him and jumping in to break it up. If the boy didn't have him then he would have to put up with a lot more 'puppy' jokes, that was for sure.

"Jimin," Hoseok said, picking up speed to catch up with him. "He didn't mean it like that." At his voice the other boy glanced over at him before looking back at the bridge in front of them. "Just ignore him."

"What did he mean it like?" Yoongi asked brusquely and he could only stare at him without replying. "If Tae hasn't got anything nice to say, he should really shut the fuck up."

And Hoseok couldn't even argue otherwise.

By the time they reached the end of the bridge he lost his interest in the signs. They were no longer fascinating and worthy of his attention, rather they left an uncomfortable sensation in the pit of his stomach. It was because of Taehyung of course, and his stupid joke. Was the boy pissed off because of what had happened between them and he was acting out? He was hoping that that was not the case and rather Taehyung was just disgruntled because he was sober, but he didn't know. Perhaps there wasn't a reason at all and the boy had just made a stupid joke and he was looking into it too much? That was probably the case and he was worrying over it all because it allowed him to stop thinking about his tired limbs and unsettled stomach. He saw signs with helpline numbers on, he saw attempts at positivity: "it gets better!" as if that would change a single thing. The signs varied from nearly begging to almost aggressively ordering the readers about and he eventually looked away and instead concentrated on the last stretch of bridge. After some minutes a boat horn sounded and he eyed the horizon to see what looked like a leisure ferry slowly moving across the river. The idea of being on a boat, the slightly shifting floor of the deck underfoot, was enough to make him look away with a weary groan.

Like he had predicted it took them perhaps another ten minutes to step into Dangjin, the outskirts growing straight around the end of the bridge without even a slight distance. There were factories already in sight when they stepped off it and the view in front of them showed the typical sight of towering buildings. There were a lot of neon lights here and there that were currently not glowing in the afternoon sunlight, but as soon as darkness fell they would be blinding. Hoseok just did what he always did, followed after the rest of them in the hopes that at least one of them knew where they were going. He just wanted to sit down and not move, perhaps curl up into a ball and try and pretend that he wasn't even awake. Luckily for him Namjoon managed to locate a small hostel building not that far from the bridge and after the usual bartering in the check-in office they ended up with two small rooms again. Hoseok wanted to be annoyed by this but he was too tired to think about Taehyung and so he just went into one of the rooms and dived onto the bed. His face sank into the covers and he closed his eyes.

He knew that he drifted off but he wasn't sure how long for for when he finally lifted his head to peer across the room he saw that it was practically empty save for Jungkook. His head wasn't aching but the rest of his body seemed to be and he forced his eyes open with a weary sigh. At the sound the boy looked over at him before dropping his eyes back to a newspaper spread on the bed in front of him.

"Is that today's paper?" Hoseok asked as he sat upright.

"Nope, it's dated last week," Jungkook replied. "So hopefully that wasn't the last time this room was cleaned."

"Don't even joke about that..." he muttered as he grabbed a pillow and hugged it to his chest. "Where's Seokjin?"

"Out."

"Out where?" Jungkook shrugged at the question and folded the paper up before dropping it on the floor. Hoseok looked at the crumpled newspaper for a moment before shifting his gaze back up to him.

"He didn't say, just said he was going out. He's probably looking for a pay phone to call someone in college, his roommate or whatever. He's way overdue for his essay now I think. He's probably gonna get kicked out."

"You think?"

"Maybe there's a three strike rule or something, I dunno, but I wouldn't wanna be in his shoes when he gets back to college that's for sure." The boy tried to lean back on his wrists but the movement was too much for his battered ribs so he just crossed his legs up on the bed instead. "Are you-"

"Please don't ask if I'm OK," Hoseok said with a weary smile, "because the answer is no and we both know it." Jungkook studied his face silently before looking away at the hostel room wall instead. "Is Jimin OK?"

"Jimin?" At this the boy looked back at him, even raising an eyebrow in a curious expression. "Uh...I dunno, why?"

"Just thinking..."

"About the joke on the bridge?"

"I wouldn't really call it a 'joke' Kookie."

"You think it hurt his feelings?"

Hoseok thought it over for a few seconds. It only made sense that it would upset Jimin. Taehyung had not only poked fun at his intelligence but he had also more or less told him that he was not only replaceable, but that he was little more than a puppy to them. Of course it was just a 'joke' and that wasn't what he had meant at all, but his words still carried weight and the weight of this particular jibe was very heavy. Was it possible that Jimin really didn't care at all? Was he just being hypersensitive to it all after what had happened last time Taehyung had decided to joke around and it had backfired on him and caused even more trouble? But the more he thought about it the more he thought that it might just have hurt his feelings. It would have hurt his to be told that, even in a joking manner, so he finally decided that the boy might just have been upset about it after all.

"I think that it did," he said quietly.

"I dunno, he is used to it. I don't think Jimin really cares about it, after all it was Tae that said it. Everyone knows Tae talks shit." But Hoseok thought about the look on Jimin's face before he had pushed it away and pretended to not care, the dejected and almost hurt expression. That second or so of emotion showed that the youngest boy was likely very wrong about his assumption. "I wouldn't worry about it."

"It's not like Tae will..." he muttered under his breath as he got to his feet. Despite resting he still felt drained and the room seemed to spin for a few seconds, making his steps something closer to a stagger as he went into the bathroom.

Hoseok closed the door over and leaned back against it because his legs didn't feel very steady. The muscles in his thighs were almost shivering, making his knees shake terribly. He ran his hand along the wood, feeling the little chips in the paint, and located the lock before twisting it sharply. It clicked loudly and he felt himself wincing, wondering if the boy had heard it too. The sink was but a few feet away and yet it felt like miles to his eyes, the fabled oasis that would just keep getting further and further away until he collapsed. The temptation to crawl to it was great but he managed to not stoop that low and instead took a few stumbling steps until he felt his hips slamming into the porcelain rim and he dropped his hands to grab onto the sides tightly. After a few seconds he let go with one hand and reached over to twist the tap on. The water came out with a gushing sound and started gurgling down the pipe and he splashed a palmful of it against his face, feeling great relief from the cold liquid on his skin.

Hoseok blinked away the droplet of water and looked at his reflection in the mirror on the cabinet over the sink. He looked no more different than usual, a little tired but nothing more than that, and that made him feel even worst. If he looked really terrible then that wouldn't be so bad, yet the fact he didn't just helped alleviate the fact that it was all in his head. His body didn't need the stupid pills but his brain did, and his brain wasn't asking now, like it had been for the last few days; it was practically demanding.

"Pull yourself together," Hoseok muttered under his breath, knowing that the running tap would stop his friend from hearing his low voice. "It's pathetic, I'm fucking pathetic." He took a deep breath and let it out, feeling his shoulders shuddering as he did.

Just a single one of those stupid pills and he would feel better. Just one, it was practically nothing. He was supposed to be taking them after all, did a single one matter that much? Well, it would start with one of course, and then turn into three or more. That's why he wasn't allowed the stupid pills but it was hard to listen to logic when his stomach felt like it was trapped at the back of his throat. He should get rid of them, he should get one of his friends to toss then down the toilet or perhaps over that nice big bridge and it would make it feel so much more easier. Less of a temptation for him to have to ignore. But he couldn't, he couldn't get rid of them when he needed them so much and-

Hoseok pressed the heel of his hand against his brow and he closed his eyes with a groan. He couldn't do this, it was too much for him to handle right now. After a moment he lowered it and placed it back on the rim of the sink, opening his eyes again to look at the mirror. For a few seconds he just stared at his reflection and then his gaze shifted to look at the little plastic handle in the very corner.

The mirror was on the front of a cabinet of course, a medical cabinet.

Before he could stop himself he grabbed hold of the handle and pulled it open, doing so so hard that he was surprised that he didn't pull the door off. It revealed a white plastic interior with two partitions separated by a shelf. He saw a couple of items inside and he grabbed each one in turn to check the labels. Cardboard container with what looked like a salve of some kind in it, the scent wafting from it because the cap wasn't screwed on fully. A piece of plastic and foil with a contraceptive pill still inside: little blue tablet. He put that back and hoped someone hadn't forgotten to take it, and then grabbed the only thing left inside of the cabinet. A little bottle that rattled when he shook it. He quickly turned it around to scan the label and see that it was just aspirin. Plain aspirin much like the ones that Seokjin had given him just a few days ago to help with his headache.

Hoseok unscrewed the lid and tipped the bottle so that the contents spilled out onto his opposite hand. There were quite a few pills inside and they landed on his palm and fingers, overflowing over the side and bouncing off each other to fall down and land in the sink. The water was still running and they didn't last long, dissolving in mere seconds under the hard force of the stream and getting washed away down the drain with faint hissing sounds. He looked at the little mound of pills and saw that they looked just like his Xanax, practically the same shape and the same colour. They were even uncoated though the surface looked a little glossy rather than dry like the other medication. Hoseok wanted to tip his hand and let them all drop into the sink and yet he couldn't seem to do it. It didn't feel like he was holding a handful of pills but rather lead weights. Aspirin would do absolutely nothing for him. It wouldn't be like the Xanax. He couldn't self-induce a placebo effect no matter how hard he tried, so he should just dump them into the sink and go back into the room and forget about them.

Hoseok finally felt himself moving but it wasn't to tip his hand and drop the pills, rather to bring them up to his mouth. He knew that he was being stupid but he couldn't help himself and he shoved them all in; not just one, not even three but so many that he couldn't even guess the amount. It took a little effort to get them inside and yet he couldn't swallow. The pills stuck to his tongue and the sides of his cheek almost instantly, the dryness activated by his saliva and making them dissolve. They were stuck in place, he was unable to swallow them. The taste of them was foul enough to make him gag and he opened his mouth and started clawing at the pills, knocking them off his tongue so that he could just free himself of the taste. He could feel his gorge rising up and he just had enough time to drop to his knees in front of the toilet when he felt his stomach clenching and the first retch escaping his lips.

There was nothing really in his stomach beyond a few measly mouthfuls of food from yesterday evening and so it wasn't as bad as he had been expecting. He ended up vomiting up mostly nothing more than bile which made his throat and the back of his nose burn, made his eyes well with tears as he hunched over the toilet bowl. The contractions hurt terribly and he let out pitiful moans between each one until he felt his stomach finally stop clenching. For a few seconds he just stayed frozen in place, head hanging forward and eyes squeezed shut, then he reached up to feebly flush the toilet. The water came up with in a fast and loud swirl and it washed the porcelain sides free of his vomit. When he opened his eyes and looked at the toilet the sight was clean sides and water, almost as if he hadn't been sick in the first place.

Hoseok struggled back upright, having to grab onto the system and use it for support. The sink was still running and there were no signs of the aspirin. He had just laid eyes on the bottle when he heard a rapping noise on the other side of the door.

"Hoseok?" Jungkook called out. "Are you OK?" Hoseok turned his head to look at the door and sure enough he saw the handle shifting up and down as the boy tried to open the door.

"Uh..." He turned back to look at the sink and the bottle was still there, now empty and lidless. He stumbled to the sink and grabbed the bottle, rapidly screwing the lid on and shoving it back into the cabinet, closing the door as softly as possible to not alert the boy that he had been sniffing around in there. "I'm OK."

"I thought..." Hoseok turned the tap off with a quick twist and the bathroom fell silent once more. "I thought I heard you vomiting." The boy finished rather lamely. He went over to the door and unlocked it before opening it and Jungkook took a few rapid steps backwards so he wasn't blocking him. The boy had been pressed right up against the door, no doubt trying to hear him under the noise the tap had been making.

"You did," Hoseok said with a grim expression. "I've been feeling nauseous all day. That's why I locked the door, I knew I was going to vomit and I didn't think you'd want to watch me from across the room."

"Shit, you're sweating right now." And before he could even reach up to touch his own forehead the boy beat him to it, pressing his hand against his brow. "You should lie down." Hoseok made a soft noise at this and Jungkook gently put an arm around his waist. "Just for a little while." He didn't want to lie down but there was no point in arguing so he just let him help him across the room and sat down on the bed to satisfy the boy. After Jungkook had checked his brow again and asked if he felt alright and he confirmed that he did his friend crossed the room and also disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door over slightly but not locking it.

Hoseok watched him go and then dropped his eyes to the bag just by his feet. Before he could even stop himself he grabbed it and placed it on his lap, unzipping the backpack with shaking hands. He reached inside, pushing tees and balled up socks aside to get to the inner compartment and he ran his fingers along it to find the zip when he felt something...peculiar. The compartment felt to be empty, but it shouldn't be empty because that was where his pills were. Yet after finding the zip and pulling it along to open the compartment he realised that his thought was correct.

The compartment was empty.

He reached inside and checked with his fingers even though it was stupid, waiting for them to brush against the smooth plastic of the bottle so he could pull it free and finally take one of those fucking pills. But his fingers just ran along smooth polyester and nothing more, not even lint.

His pills were gone.

Hoseok had never truly been mad at his friends before. There had been incidents in the past when there had been slight disagreements but never enough to past the initial bickering phase before one of them backed down to avoid causing too much trouble. As a result it kept the bonds rather clean and strong. It meant that everyone was willing to change stance for the sake of their friendships and as a result he had never been given a reason to doubt or question any of them. Yet he found himself getting more than mad by this sudden unraveling of events: he could feel himself getting pissed.

Hoseok knew that his situation was rather serious. Thanks to his Xanax addiction he had overdosed on his medication but luckily for him not enough to have any severe consequences. As a result that made the pills dangerous, made them something that needed to be kept out of his reach. It was obvious that whoever had done this had done so to stop him from slipping and taking any of them but he didn't feel like their actions were helping him. Hoseok felt a little like a child at the sight of the empty compartment in his backpack, at the lack of bottle that should have been there. In that moment he felt like none of them could trust him and so one of them had taken them away from him.

He was the naughty child that wouldn't stop taking cookies out of the jar when he had been told to leave it alone.

Hoseok wanted to be relieved by the fact whoever had done it had saved him from swallowing one or three or a dozen of the stupid little pills, but he couldn't help but feel betrayed. They didn't trust him to have the willpower or strength to kick the Xanax away, they thought that he was pathetic and weak and would cave. They were right, he knew they were right because here he was searching for them the minute the other boy was out of the room like a cocaine addict looking for a hit. But he was still pissed even if they were right.

Who had done it? Had Seokjin and Namjoon paired up and decided that it was for the best, perhaps talking Yoongi into snatching them whilst he was asleep to keep their hands clean? Had Yoongi just taken it upon himself to take them without either of their permission, as stubborn as always? Would Jungkook do something like that? He didn't think so, and he knew there was no way that Jimin would. Jimin would never do something like that to him. But Taehyung...oh Taehyung was a prime suspect alright. The boy could have taken them out of his bag with little trouble. He could have tossed them or sold them. Heck the boy would have probably downed a few himself just to help him get wasted. He knew that he shouldn't assume but it was hard not to.

Hoseok felt exhausted and yet the idea that one of his friends, or perhaps all of them together, didn't trust him filled him with an anger that made him want to get up and do something. It was stupid but he couldn't help it and so he threw the bag aside and got to his feet before crossing the room. As he opened the door he heard the toilet flushing and he slammed it shut before crossing the lot. He didn't feel any better than he had a few minutes ago but his annoyance certainly gave him a little spurt of energy. He didn't really know where he was going and he crossed the lot before stepping out onto the curb. He just needed to get out of the room for a moment, to clear his head. A quick glance both ways showed him nothing more than random buildings and the road in front of him was wide and packed with traffic. Hoseok stood there rather stupidly, barefoot and shaking, and he thought that he should just go back inside. He was mad and upset but this wasn't helping him at all and-

A car slowed down so that it passed him and pulled up at the curb just a few feet to his right. He didn't recognise the model at all but it looked expensive and as the passenger door swung outwards and he heard a guffawing sound; as recognisable to his ears as his mother's voice. Hoseok watched Taehyung struggling to get out of the car for a few seconds in dumb disbelief. The boy had one leg out the open doorway and he awkwardly tried to shove the other one out, all the while still talking to whoever was in the car. He managed to grab onto the sides of the doorway and drag himself out and then he shoved the door shut, the sound as loud as a gunshot.

"Tae?" Hoseok said and the boy whirled around to look at him, almost tripping over his own feet as he did. He was drunk. It was the early afternoon and he was so goddamn drunk that he could barely stand up. "Tae, what the fuck?"

"What're you doing out here?" Taehyung asked stupidly as he looked across the lot at the hostel building. "You're supposed to-"

"Tae, where's my pills?"

"Where's your what?" Hoseok walked right over to the boy so they were just a foot away and his friend looked at him with a puzzled expression. He could smell soju coming off him in waves and something else too, something that he couldn't quite figure out.

"My pills Tae, my medication. Where is it?" But the other boy just said he didn't know what he was talking about, holding his gaze steady even in his drunken state. He didn't look away once and after a few seconds he thought that it was highly possible that his friend really didn't know what he was talking about. Which meant one of the others did. "I checked my bag and the bottle is missing."

"Shit, someone must've taken 'em..." Taehyung muttered as he felt for the low railing around the hostel lot and leaned against it. Hoseok asked him if he knew who had taken them and the boy furrowed his brow and thought it over before shaking his head. "Nope, haven't got a fucking clue but then again I dunno my own name right now and-"

"Who was that? The guy in the car with you?" Taehyung waved the questions off with his wrist and he felt himself getting even more annoyed. The boy didn't have his pills, he didn't know who did it or anything helpful; he was drunk and he wasn't answering his questions now too. His anger wasn't going anywhere, it was just being diverted towards someone else. "Tae."

"It doesn't matter," his friend said, eyes flighty and refusing to settle, "but I got an idea. I can steal you some pills." Hoseok stared at him dumbly and his tongue suddenly felt too heavy in his mouth to move. Did he just say what he thought he had? Had the boy really just offered to steal him some medication considering everything that had happened these past days, considering the fact that he wasn't even supposed to be taking it at all right now? He didn't know whether to be shocked, disgusted or relieved by the boy's eagerness to help him. "Xanax right? Shit, I could get that for you no problem I-"

"No," he said suddenly, "no I don't want the fucking pills Tae. I just...I need to go back inside and-" he heard Jungkook's voice echoing across the lot behind him and he reached up to rub at his temples with a heavy sigh. He could feel Taehyung's eyes on him and he just closed his own and took several deep breaths to try and calm himself down. His pulse was racing and to make everything worse he was convinced he was getting a headache, even though he hadn't swallowed a single pill. After a few seconds something grabbed hold of his upper arm and he knew it was the youngest boy, that he was wrapping his fingers around him tightly so that he couldn't try and run off on him again.

"Hey Hoseok, come on let's get back inside now. OK?"

Hoseok let him pull him off the street and back into the lot without a single word, filled with shame and disgust that he had left the room in the first place and scared the boy like that. Jungkook led him across it at a nice pace and then he helped him back into the hostel room. Only then did he let go of his arm and Hoseok went over to the bed by the window, lying down and dragging the covers up over his eyes so he could burrow underneath them and try and shut the world out.

He didn't want to move right now. He just wanted to disappear for a little while so that his body would stop aching and he could stop thinking about the stupid pills. At some point he felt the bed shifting as someone sat down on it and he knew it was Taehyung because even through the covers he could smell soju. The boy didn't say a word to him and instead just reached over to gently run his hands through his hair, through the few locks on the pillow not hidden under the covers. He wanted to knock his hand away and yet he couldn't, even after he had offered to get him the pills. He knew that Taehyung hadn't taken stolen them from him and that meant he could trust one of his friends at least, regardless of the fact that said friend was wasted more often than sober these days and that he had been his first suspect.

Hoseok felt himself wanting to cry and so he muffled his mouth with the covers and just willed the sensation to go away. It didn't and even with his eyes squeezed shut he felt tears escaping to run down his face and pool on the bed sheets.

He almost wished he had swallowed all of the stupid aspirin.