Taehyung didn't want to get off the floor even though he had been lying there for hours now, hadn't moved to do anything beyond breathing or blinking. He felt safe on the floor, lying on his stomach with his face turned ever so slightly to the side so that he could breathe without choking on the filth trapped in the carpet pile. He couldn't see his friends looking at him even when he could feel their gazes on his back. Once or twice Seokjin had hunkered down at his side in the hopes of getting him to look at him, leaning forward enough so that his own head grazed against the floor, and Taehyung just closed his eyes and refused to open them again until he heard him move away. Namjoon didn't attempt to make eye contact and the few words he had said to him had sounded weary, as if he was about to give up at any moment and just sleep instead. Jungkook had tried to get answers out of him by sitting beside him and prodding him, harassing him in the hopes that his stabbing finger would annoy him enough to get a reaction, but it didn't work. He was too numb to the world to even feel the sensation of him poking him in the ribs, too very distant to it all. Hoseok didn't even say a word, never mind try and look at him, and that just made him feel even worse. What was going through the other boy's mind right now? Had been coursing through it since Jimin had blurted all of that shit out and then ran off to cry like a baby?

He wanted to be mad at the boy but he found that he couldn't, because he should have expected such an outcome the minute Jimin found out what had happened to him that night. He should have threatened him some more and scared him off, should have maybe hit him a few times just to get him to leave the bathroom, but he had stupidly told him everything and back in the bathroom he had thought that it would come back to haunt him but he had been hoping that it wouldn't; that perhaps the boy would manage to keep his secret like he had sworn. But of course that didn't happen. What had happened was Jimin had caved in from the pressure of carrying so much stupid shit around and he had blurted it out. Hoseok's pills, Yoongi's burns, they were all nothing in comparison to the secret that the boy had been carrying for him and he should have just kept his mouth shut but he had been stupid and had insulted him. And now Taehyung was currently paying the price for fucking up and pinning the blame on someone else just like he always did; Jimin was such an easy fall guy. If he had just left the Yoongi situation alone and not made those comments then this wouldn't have happened, but he had felt the need to open his big mouth and shoot himself right in the face.

They all knew about what had happened that night. They all knew that he had let some random stranger fuck him for such a pitiful amount of cash and there was nothing he could to try and deny it or hide it any more. It should have been easier now that it was out in the open but right now he just wanted to lie there and not move. He wished that he didn't have to breathe too but sadly that option was unavoidable.

Where was Jimin right now? If the boy did something stupid then he was to blame and for once he wasn't going to try and bullshit his way out of it, he was more than willing to take the full responsibility. What a wonderful time to start acting like an adult, at the cost of his friend hurting himself or worst. Taehyung closed his eyes and he felt a little moan escaping his lips, nauseous sensation in the pit of his stomach. At the noise he heard someone shifting across the room and he waited for a question but no one said anything to him.

Taehyung could smell tobacco on the carpet and he saw a cast-off butt not too far from his position, one that had likely been in Yoongi's hands just that morning when he had walked into the room to talk to them. It was crumpled from being stubbed out on something but it wasn't his skin for once at least. Why did he have to mention those stupid burns? When the man got back he was pretty sure that he was going to kick his teeth in for causing all of this shit and once again, he knew that he totally deserved it. Hell, if his friend didn't kick the shit out of him then he would probably beg him to do so, on hands and knees if needed because he felt like he needed to hurt just that little more to make it even. Yoongi had had nothing to do with Hoseok's pills and he had known it the minute that his friend had asked Jimin about it. He had seen that very same expression on his face like when he had asked him about the marks on the Yoongi's arm, the one that showed that Jimin was telling the truth. But none of the others had picked up on it of course, they had all thought that the boy was sticking up for him but not Taehyung; Taehyung had known and he had purposely baited Jimin in the hopes that he would just quietly admit to it so they could just move on from the incident. But by baiting him out he had caused even more trouble. Wasn't that what he was best at? Causing so much trouble that it was almost unbelievable, and right now because of him their friendship circle was in great danger of breaking apart.

Was Yoongi with the boy now, where ever the boy might be? Was he safe? Were they both safe? He didn't know and the longer he went without knowing the more nauseous he seemed to get. This was so much more worse than he had been expecting. Jimin was right, he had fucked up.

"Tae," Seokjin said at last, breaking the horrible silence in a voice just above a whisper. "Why don't you lie on one of the beds, huh? It's more comfortable than the floor, isn't it?" He didn't respond to this and he could feel the man getting just as tired of his bullshit as Namjoon had. A shifting sound as he got upright and once again moved to lie on the floor beside him. Taehyung kept his eyes closed but he could feel him moving to touch his hair, to brush it back off his brow. "I know that you're upset right now but you can't just-"

The sound of the door across the room opening and then closing over. Had someone left or had someone just entered? He opened his eyes to look and saw Seokjin glancing back over his own shoulder. After a second he shifted back to look at him, holding his gaze and waiting to see if he would close his eyes again.

"This isn't going to help you, help anyone. Just get up on one of the beds and have a nice rest, OK? We all need one right now and-"

"Jimin?" Taehyung asked in a soft voice, barely above a croak.

"I don't know," the man replied honestly. "Still out but Yoongi is going to find him and bring him back. Don't worry about that. Just get some rest OK? I'll be with Namjoon next door if you need either of us." And with that Seokjin moved to get onto his hands and knees and a moment later he was also leaving the room. He just stared at where he had been lying without moving a muscle.

"Tae," Jungkook said with a heavy sigh, "we know that you didn't mean that shit, you were upset and you just shouted it without thinking, OK? So please get up off the floor."

Taehyung didn't count how long it was before the hostel room door opened again and his two friends stepped inside. For a second or two he had been hoping to see Yoongi and Jimin stepping in behind them, the pair of them soaking wet from the rain that had been pelting the windows hard, but they didn't. It was just Seokjin and Namjoon but there was a sense of relief coming from them regardless. He didn't ask any questions but rather waited for one of the others to do so and for the first time in what felt like forever he heard Hoseok's voice, asking all of the questions that were racing through his mind. So Namjoon just explained that the pair of them had returned and that they had left them in the other room because Jimin had looked very upset and it seemed like a good idea to leave the boy alone right now. Taehyung felt like someone had punched him in the throat at these words but at least he knew that they were both okay. Maybe not mentally right now, but at least physically, and that was enough for him to let his pent-up breath out in a soft sigh. He felt so exhausted from worrying that he didn't think that he could keep his eyes open much longer and before he knew it he was drifting off into sweet oblivion.

When he opened his eyes he saw something black just an inch or so from the tip of his nose and he stared at it in groggy confusion before he realised that it was hair and he lifted his head slowly to see that Hoseok was lying in front of him on the carpet. He shifted to move his arm and his elbow hit against something and it felt like another body so Taehyung twisted awkwardly to look over his shoulder to see Jungkook also lying on the floor beside him. The boy was using a pillow unlike his other friend but it still didn't look very comfortable. For a few seconds he could only look between them both stupidly and then he felt a strange sensation in the pit of his stomach, something akin to a pang. He had spent all of last night lying on the floor in a fugue, refusing to talk to or even look at his friends and yet two of them had taken it upon themselves to share the floor with him for the night even though there was a perfectly good bed across the room. Why were they doing that? Well, he could only think that they were doing so to somehow let him know that he wasn't in this alone, that they were sharing his pain too; perhaps not literally but rather in a figurative way.

"You guys are so fucking stupid..." he muttered under his breath and at this he heard the youngest boy stirring from behind him, making a soft noise as he woke up.

"Look who's talking," Jungkook muttered in return before shifting to burrow his face against his back, not exactly hugging him but close to it. The physical contact made that panging sensation even stronger and for a few seconds he was almost convinced that he might just cry but he managed to not do so.

"Hmmm...we're all pretty stupid," Hoseok said after a few seconds, also moving so that he was a little closer to him. No pillow under his head and just his own folded up arm and his elbow brushed against his shoulder. "Sleeping on the floor like kids at nap time."

"Kookie still has a nap time," Taehyung said and this made the boy reach up and tug on the back of his hair hard, not enough to hurt but enough to make him let out a surprised noise. "Only kindergartners pull hair!"

"Oh yeah? Well, I've bumped into some pretty tall kindergartners..." Jungkook mumbled sleepily, "and some of them had facial hair." The remark made Taehyung snort laughter and he wondered if the two other young men were awake and listening to them talk or whether they were still asleep. And what about Jimin and Yoongi? Where were they exactly? He wanted to ask but at the same time he was scared to do so for fear that he might remind them of how he had acted last night and piss them both off.

"Seriously, you two really are idiots...sleeping on the floor like this."

"It's not so bad once you get past the fact that the carpet is filthy," Hoseok said as he lifted his head to look at him, opening his eyes a little wider than a squint. "But then so are we most of the time, so it's nothing new, right?"

"What time is it?" he asked, not wanting to sit up or even move because he felt perfectly alright where he was right now. Why, he could probably lie here all day if the two other boys stayed with him.

"Morning I think?" Hoseok said, eyes shifting to look across the room presumably at the window. Taehyung could see that the room was lit with a faint light but it wasn't bright enough for him to think that it was any later than 4am. "I want to go back to sleep but I don't think I can, I'm wide awake now thanks to you two."

"Tae elbowed me first," Jungkook said, voice muffled because the boy had his face pressed up against his back. After a few seconds he added his arm over his waist in an unconscious way to get comfortable. "Blame him."

"Let's not blame anyone," the other boy said wearily, "after what happened yesterday..."

"Do we have to talk about yesterday?" Taehyung asked, not liking the way his voice sounded a little whiny to his own ears. His friend just nodded and confirmed that they had to and he closed his eyes and sighed heavily. "Fuck...I don't wanna talk about it. I'm...well, I'm scared of talking about it."

"Sometimes you gotta face your fears," the youngest boy mumbled, "even when you're scared. It's the only way to...fix shit."

"Thanks for the great insight Lao Tzu," he replied with an eye roll, glad that the other boy couldn't see it.

"He's right Tae," Hoseok agreed with a soft nod. "We've got to talk about it. All of us, not just you."

Taehyung eventually moved to get off the floor only because he desperately needed to use the bathroom and his movement made the two other boys also decide to get up and start doing things. Jungkook left the room to presumably go into the other one and Hoseok just followed him into the bathroom. He didn't need to worry about his friend seeing his bruises after what had happened yesterday evening and so he got cleaned up without a care, even after he felt his eyes lingering on the backs of his thighs as he stepped into the shower. But the boy didn't ask about them for despite him claiming that they needed to talk about yesterday's events it seemed that Hoseok lacked the words to do so when left alone with him. Taehyung just stayed under the stream for a few minutes enjoying the heat of the water and wishing that it would wash not just any dirt away but also all of his problems too, and when he stepped back into the other room he saw his two other friends inside and he froze stupidly in the doorway.

Jimin was standing beside the bed that Namjoon and Seokjin had shared, the pair of them likely thinking that the two boys would use the other rather than spend the night on the floor with him. The pair of them were talking to him in low voices and he couldn't hear their words. The boy was listening to them but not looking at them, rather at the covers instead, and he was worrying at the sleeve of a pullover he was wearing. Taehyung hadn't seen it before and he didn't know where it had came from but it came in handy for it allowed Jimin to pull on the sleeves rather than gnaw on his lips like he usually did when he was nervous. But if he kept up worrying at them then the fabric might just start to unravel; leaving him standing in a puddle of oatmeal fabric. Yoongi was standing right beside him and he noted that the man was holding onto Jimin's other wrist. Had he had to drag the boy into the room with him? Or was he just doing it to reassure him? His grip looked firm but not tight and for some reason Taehyung couldn't seem to take his eyes off the sight of his hand on his wrist.

He felt sick standing there like an idiot. He felt like this picture would look a hell of a lot better if he wasn't in it and he wished that he could cut himself out of it; just slink out of the room without anyone noticing so that he wouldn't end up ruining another day too. But before he could even think of trying to hide back in the bathroom or sneak over to the front door Jimin's eyes shifted and he caught sight of him standing in the doorway. He waited for the look of disgust or pain to flash across his face but the boy just held his gaze for a moment before offering him the most slightest attempt at a smile, the corners twitching ever so slightly.

Taehyung let his pent-up breath out in a wheeze and he knew that despite everything that had happened the boy wasn't pissed off with him. He didn't deserve the chance but Jimin seemed to have given him one and he wasn't going to fuck up and make him regret it. Yoongi was another matter entirely for when his friend looked at him his expression hardened slightly but he kept his sharp tongue to himself rather than cause more trouble.

When Jungkook declared that he was going to run to the convenience store across the road for some food Taehyung asked to tag along and the boy let him follow along after him. His friend wanted to stretch his legs just like always but he wanted to get out just because he felt a horrible pressure on him and he couldn't seem to shake the thought that they were all going to turn to look at him and demand he talk about what had happened. He knew that it was going to happen and there was very little ways to stop it. But he could delay it and that seemed like the best idea right now. So he followed the boy to the store and let him fill a small basket up with random packets of food and bottles of water and when he wasn't looking he snatched a beer can just like always and shoved it into his back pocket. They could complain but at this point he didn't care, if he was going to have to tell them everything then he sure as hell wanted to be drunk rather than sober to make it that much easier.

He didn't touch the breakfast because he wanted to get as drunk as possible from a single can of beer, which was going to be a difficult feat since it took a whole six-pack to usually achieve such a state, but on an empty stomach it might just make him a little fuzzy. He just sat on the floor where he had lain last night and drank the beer even with his friends looking at him. No one said anything, though they all seemed to want to, and there was a horrible silence in the room that seemed to last forever until their eldest friend broke it.

"I think it's time for that talk now," Seokjin said in a quiet voice as he glanced over at Namjoon. "Don't you?" The other young man seemed to think this over for a moment before gently nodding.

"Talk?" Taehyung asked as he shifted on the floor, sitting upright rather than slouching forward, the crushed can just in front of him and the untouched food beside it. "What talk? What're you talking about?"

"We're all going to sit down and talk about our problems," Seokjin friend said, lifting his legs up so he could cross them up on the settee cushion in front of him. "Because it's way overdue and it's not healthy to carry all of our problems and negativity around with us. As you have all probably figured out by now, by not talking about things and hiding them away you... you deny yourself the chance of being able to fix it, to understand it. So we're going to do a little... bonding session, yes that's what we should call it: a bonding session to exorcise the demons, let the skeletons out of the closet, etcetera etcetera." Seokjin waved his wrist at this and then he smiled softly as if to reassure them. "OK, I'll go first to make it less awkward."

"I don't really wanna do this," Taehyung said but he was ignored by everyone because the Seokjin loudly cleared his throat over him; on purpose rather than by accident.

"I'm scared of my future," Seokjin declared in an oddly calm voice, letting this hang in the air for a few seconds before continuing, "I'm scared that I've made the wrong choices in life and that I don't want to follow through with them. I thought that my past decisions were right, but I followed my brain rather than my heart and I've had a dawning realisation on this adventure that I'm going towards a future that I don't want for myself." If there was a single one of them in the room that didn't silently agree with the man's words then Taehyung would eat the room carpet. His words had struck a chord in all of them judging from their expressions. "I know that I can correct it but I don't know if I should. It would take time, it would require starting again and I also fear losing what I've already gained. What we all need to ask ourselves is... do we follow our hearts, or do we follow our brains?"

Taehyung felt his eyes shifting over to Hoseok at this but the boy was too busy looking at their friend to notice. A tricky question indeed, for he wasn't very good at listening to either of them. His brain often got him into trouble, luckily however it helped get him back out again, but his heart seemed incapable of that feat. That just liked to cause pain and nothing more.

"Follow your heart," Namjoon said a few seconds later. "Always follow your heart man, even if it's gonna be hard and you're gonna lose it all. Better to lose something superficial and gain something more meaningful than hold onto it when you feel unfulfilled, right?" Their friends murmured in agreement and the room fell silent for a moment before Namjoon decided to break it.

"I got a problem. It starts with gambling and it ends with gambling. At first I know that I started that shit to help me and Yoongi out, 'cos I've always had a bit of a lucky streak in me, but now I know that it's getting outta control. I get my hands on a little bit of cash from working that shitty job at the gas station and the first thing I think of is...I can make a killing on this." Namjoon stopped as he thought his words over. "I can't keep thinking like that. I can't let that shit take over my mind 'cos I'll turn into one of those people I see in the dens: addicted, wasting everything they have on a single fucking bet."

"It's easy to try and tell yourself you can kick an addiction," Hoseok muttered. "But then you put yourself through it and find that it's not."

"I know, I know it's not easy but I've gotta try. I need to find something better than that shitty job, I need to start thinking about my future too."

"We both do," Yoongi agreed.

"Maybe my dreams are wrong after all, maybe I gave into a childish dream but it's in my heart and I don't wanna let go of that. I wanna achieve it, and right now I can't do that." Namjoon sighed heavily. "So I've gotta start trying properly, before I waste all of my chances."

"You'll achieve your dreams," Jimin said quietly, "and you too Seokjin."

"My turn," Jungkook said as he shifted on the settee beside their eldest friend, not exactly wriggling but something close to it. Taehyung realised that everything was moving very fast and soon enough he would be the only one left to share; the thought alone enough to make a cold sweat start to break out on his skin. "I have... I have a problem with my attitude."

"Tell us something we don't know," Taehyung retorted and the boy smirked at him.

"No seriously, I have a problem and I'm gonna admit to it. It's not just about the fighting, it's about how I treat others. I'm always arguing with my parents about everything, I'm never in the house 'cos they're always nagging me to death but I've never actually thought about their reasons, you know? It was always like they were picking on me so I got defensive and before I knew it I was arguing without even knowing why. Drinking, smoking, fighting, grade drops, I ignored all of the reasons 'cos I didn't want to see them. I didn't want to have to really look at what I did wrong and accept it. So I argued instead but that didn't make me feel better, it made me feel trapped. I needed a release, an escape..."

"Fighting was your release," Seokjin said and the boy nodded fervently.

"It was, going out and causing trouble, fighting, bad behaviour, it was all a way to distract myself." Jungkook dropped his eyes to the carpet. "'Cos in those moments I could forget about all of the bad shit and just... My life became nothing more than punches and kicks and pain. It became something...raw; a fight or flight situation. It made my brain stop thinking about everything that was happening and just focus on those few seconds, and when it was all over the bruises, the split lips, it was all just the price to pay for that release."

"Speaking of release..." Namjoon said as he looked at Yoongi.

"Oh c'mon," the other man groaned as he held his hands up, but they all just looked at him expectantly and so he got to his feet with a series of angry mutters. "Hello, I'm Min Yoongi," he declared as he held his hand over his heart, "I'm twenty-one years of age and I self-harm." Yoongi sat down on the end of the bed beside Jimin and the silence that fell on the room was so thick it was almost a fog. For nearly a minute the man remained silent, obstinate about not having to talk about it all but then he shrugged his jacket off with a sigh and held his arm out for all to see.

"Christ..." Hoseok said under his breath, eyes latching onto the sight that it revealed.

"He didn't do this, I did." The joke wasn't very funny considering the situation but Taehyung heard a few forced laughs for effect. "This is what I do when I can't sleep," Yoongi explained before pointing at a welt on his inner elbow. "My first one, way back in Yeoju." He moved his finger along to another a little higher up, circling it as he did. "Baby number two, Eumseong County. Number three hurt like a bitch," he prodded at one just a little to the side of the first and hissed, "I don't really remember when I did that. This one was in Gongju, the latest one but not necessarily the last." Yoongi stopped this impromptu show and tell and looked up to glance over them all. "That's my fucking problem, I hurt myself for fun. Good enough?" He looked at Namjoon and the young man asked him why. "Dunno why."

"You must have a reason," Seokjin countered. "So what's the reason?"

"...A release, just like Kookie," Yoongi said as his fingers went up his arm to start scratching at the welts. Jimin moved to gently take his hand and stop him and the man let him hold it. "I needed relief and it just...seemed like a good thing to do at 3am in the morning. It still does seem like a good thing but I know I shouldn't do it."

"You shouldn't," Jungkook agreed. "We're both hurting ourselves for nothing more than a moment. It's not worth it."

Taehyung started chewing on his lower lip and averted his own gaze to his jeans rather than look at any of them. The things they didn't know he would do for a little relief were most certainly much worse than fighting and stubbing cigarettes out on his skin.

"Hoseok?" Seokjin asked softly as he turned to look at the boy. "Do you feel like it's the right time now?"

"Uh..." The boy shifted his position on the floor and took a deep breath before letting it out in a sigh. "I guess, I mean everyone knows about my pills so..." Hoseok darted his tongue out to wet his lips before continuing. "I have depression." Just like Yoongi's declaration about his self-harming the room fell silent and it made his friend look uncomfortable even though he tried to hide it. "I've had it for about...half a year now but the pills are new. I've tried everything, I didn't want the stupid fucking pills but my mom asked for a course and then...then I got addicted to them. They didn't make me feel that much better. They made me feel foggy and I hated it, I hated the headaches but I couldn't help but take them."

"Why didn't you tell us earlier?" Jimin asked in a quiet voice, still looking a little nervous about the topic after the incident from yesterday. Yoongi seemed to notice this as Taehyung saw him tightening his grip on his hand in response.

"I was embarrassed," Hoseok said with a harsh laugh, tears welling up in his eyes that revealed just how forced it was. "I was embarrassed and disgusted and...I felt fucked up."

"You're not fucked up," Taehyung said as he reached over and put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing tightly as he did. At the contact Hoseok let out his first sob and wiped at his eyes roughly. "Don't ever say that shit, you're perfect the way you are. Fuck everyone else."

"I feel like I'm suh-so fucked up and I duh-don't know why." The boy choked a sob down and his lips turned down at the corners in a harsh grimace as he took a quick intake of air. "It juh-just happened and wuh-want it to go ah-away but it wuh-wuh-won't."

"Depression is an illness," Seokjin said in a soft voice, trying his hardest to hold his gaze even though the sight of their friend crying seemed to upset him greatly. "It's a horrible illness because it makes people feel that way: fucked up or broken or diseased, but you're not any of those things Hoseok. You're human, just like us. You have good days and bad days, just your bad days are a lot harder and sometimes they can last for a long time."

"I cuh-can't remember my last good day."

"C'mon," Namjoon said, "let's try and think of a good day huh?" Hoseok swallowed another sob and made a hiccuping noise and Taehyung could feel his temperature rising through his thin tee-shirt. His face would probably be baking hot to the touch.

"I...I'll try," the boy said before pausing and trying to get himself under control. After a moment of silence he made a noise. "The trainyard."

"Why was that a good day?" Namjoon asked.

"Becuh-cause we were all together after a long tuh-time and it felt good even wuh-when I had a bad huh-headache." Hoseok rubbed at his nose roughly. "And Venus."

"Venus was pretty," Jungkook agreed in a soft voice.

"Another good day?"

"I...uh, the day with the train tuh-tracks and the singing was nuh-nice too." His breathing was starting to get more regular now, less hitches between each inhale and exhale, but Taehyung kept his hand in place regardless. "Even when Tae talked shit."

"That's what he does best," Yoongi remarked with a straight expression.

"See, you do have good days," Seokjin said. "It's just hard to think about them when the bad feels so strong, but you're thinking about them now, right?" He nodded before letting out a soft laugh under his breath, no doubt remembering the blue lines from Taehyung's cadence and how they had all burst out laughing at every line.

"Jimin," Hoseok said suddenly, dropping his hand from his eyes to look at him. The other boy looked back and tried to look calm and collected. "I'm sorry about yesterday. I acted like a total dick because of the pills and I shouldn't have treated you like that. I'm sorry."

"I understand," Jimin said in a soft voice. "You don't need to apologise."

"I'm done with with the pills," Hoseok declared. "No matter what I'm done with them and I'm not going back. I promise." At this Taehyung started clapping and the sound made Hoseok jump in surprise. The boy had just enough time to look at him before the others took it up, giving their friend an impromptu applause for not only admitting his problem but having the courage and strength to try and fix it. Hoseok looked torn between embarrassment and crying but he managed to control both emotions this time. As the applause faded off Taehyung caught sight of Yoongi whispering something to Jimin, seeing the boy shake his head at whatever he said, and a moment later the young man stood up.

"Jimin doesn't want to talk so I'm gonna do so on his behalf." Yoongi reached down to place a hand on his shoulder, just like he had done with Hoseok moments ago, and he glanced over them all slowly. "Jimin has struggled with a lot of problems these past few weeks, long before we started this adventure and continuously throughout. As a result he had thought some dark thoughts and...last night Jimin contemplated suicide." The boy was staring at the carpet with a terribly blank expression on his face. "Jimin requires support and assistance, but most importantly he requires love in this time in need, something I think we all need."

"I love you Jimin," Jungkook said suddenly, shifting to look at him. There was no smirk or embarrassment on his face; he was being entirely genuine.

"I love you Jimin," Seokjin echoed, "and I love all of you too."

"Jimin, you know I love you right? But I'll tell you again anyway," Namjoon said with a soft smile and Jimin made a noise but didn't look up. He was going to cry too and Taehyung didn't know how much of this he could take.

"I love you Jiminie," Hoseok said, using a nickname they all hadn't heard in a long time.

"I..." Taehyung wet his lips and swallowed a lump in his throat. "I love you Jimin." Yoongi looked down at the boy before quietly voicing his own affections and then he looked up again.

"Suicide's not the answer. Suicide's a permanent solution to a temporary problem that can't be undone. Jimin knows that now, but he still had to go through a lot of shit to find that out. Now we all know."

"I love you guys," Jimin managed to say in a voice barely above a whisper and then Yoongi sat down again, slinging an arm around his shoulders so that the boy could lean against him, which he did as he closed his eyes.

"Tae..." Seokjin said after a minute of silence, dragging his eyes away from the pair to look at him.

"What?"

"You should really talk to us too."

"Talk? About what?" Taehyung asked with a raised eyebrow. "I don't have anything to talk about."

"The drinking?" Namjoon remarked, eyes shifting to look at the beer can just beside him as he did.

"I can quit any time I want," he retorted and he heard someone scoffing from across the room and when he looked over he saw that it was Jungkook. The boy looked annoyed with him for trying to avoid talking and he just held his gaze without blinking.

"And the stealing, you can quit that too?" Namjoon asked and when he loudly declared that he could the room filled with a mixture of weary sighs and muttered voices. "Tae, look we all talked about our problems so you should too. It's only fair. The kids had to go from admitting some pretty heavy, painful things, Yoongi too, so just think about that. We're not gonna-"

"I said that I didn't wanna do this, when Seokjin mentioned we were doing this shit I said I didn't wanna, why should I have to join in, huh?"

"'Cos you have a lot of problems and you need to talk about them," Jungkook said in a stern voice and Taehyung snorted laughter.

"I don't need to talk about shit, I'm not drunk enough for all of this shi-"

"I thought you could give up the drinking any time you want Tae?" Seokjin interrupted. "But you're talking about it already and you've downed a can of beer before 7am and if that's not a sign that you need help then I don't know what is."

"Yeah, you're right I do need help. In the form of some vodka." Taehyung shifted to get to his feet and he felt them all staring at him in dumb disbelief as he started crossing the room. Yoongi called out for him to sit back down, voice not exactly an angry shout but getting there, and he just ignored him and opened the door to step outside. He slammed the door shut without looking back once.

When Taehyung finally came back to reality he found that he was on his knees in an alley somewhere and though he didn't know how he had gotten there he was certain of one thing: there was a cock in his mouth. This wouldn't be the first time he had blacked out in the middle of an early morning drinking session, which usually extended all of the way into the evening if he could manage to do so without being violently ill, but it was the first time he had came back around to find himself not lying on the floor of someone's apartment instead, or in the gutter, sometimes slumped in the back of a car with his pants still down by his ankles. Instinct made him pull his head back in surprise but it didn't really help his situation for a second later he felt fingers snagging into his hair and whoever he was on his knees for once again thrust into his mouth. Taehyung made a noise at the back of his throat and forced his eyes to open fully and the first thing he registered was that it was dark. Very dark. Then he saw the ends of a tee and he reached up with a hand to grab onto them almost as if the material was an anchor of some kind. There was a weird taste in his mouth and it took him a moment to realise that it was the taste of rubber: a non-flavoured condom. Even in his drunken state he felt a wave of relief course through him.

He didn't know how long that this had been going on for but he prayed that it was nearly over because he felt like he was going to puke, a hard feat to achieve with his mouth currently full. As luck would have it it didn't seem like there was much longer left for the faceless stranger had started thrusting deep enough to make him gag and he reached up to grab onto his hips tightly. A moment later he was pulling out of his mouth and Taehyung reached up to rub at his eyes roughly. Why was it dark? Was it night already? Where the hell had he been? Why was he in this alley with this guy and had there been any cash involved? But before he could even try and figure this out he was being pulled to his feet by said man and he felt hands patting the top of his head to fix his messy hair. Taehyung squinted at the stranger and for a moment he felt confusion reach a whole new level because he was almost certain that he was looking at Hoseok, but after a few seconds of study he realised that he wasn't; he was just looking at a young man that vaguely resembled him and nothing more. That probably explained why he had a raging boner right now but he wanted it to go away because it was making it hard to think.

"Hey, are you OK?" the stranger asked him, voice actually sounding concerned and a little breathless.

"Uh...no I'm...I feel like I'm gonna puke..."

"Ten shots of soju will do that to you." When the man smiled he had to drag his eyes away because he looked even more like Hoseok when he did, maybe enough to pass for a brother.

"I...I dunno where I...what time is it?"

"3:30amish...?"

"Shit."

"Shit?"

"I've been drinking since 6am!" Taehyung declared loudly and the man laughed at this remark, probably thinking it was a joke but he hadn't really been joking around.

"Drinks are on me," the man said but Taehyung just staggered so that he was leaning against the wall of the alley, the brick wall cold against his hoodie sleeve. "What do you say, huh? Maybe for round two you might just get a little treat too."

"Can't..." he managed to say, tongue heavy in his mouth and still tasting like that disgusting rubber that was on the floor by his feet. "Gotta get back to my...friends."

"Then at least let me walk you back there. Where do they live, huh?" But Taehyung knew that if he let this stranger escort him they would just end up in another bar and then an alley and he didn't want that. He really did want to get back to the hostel because he didn't feel too good and he was convinced that he was going to do something stupid if he didn't. Well, more stupid than what he had done so far anyway. So he just told him that he could get back fine even though it was a lie and after a moment of contemplation the man actually asked him for his number.

"Trust me, you don't want it," Taehyung muttered as he stumbled out of the alley and started walking down the street. "I just cause trouble."

He didn't know how he ended up back at the hostel in one piece but he didn't want to think about it too much, for thinking was hard to do when his head felt like it was floating ten inches above his body. At some point in his wandering he had found that he had a bottle of soju shoved into his back pocket, one he had likely stolen or perhaps the nameless stranger had bought for him, and despite everything he swallowed a few more mouthfuls of it just to get the taste of the condom off his tongue. He was pretty sure that he fell over a few times because he could feel a strange stinging on his palms and knees that seemed to hint that he had skinned them on the concrete paving flags, but he still managed to get to the building without being struck by a car or passing out and choking on his vomit, so he counted that as a blessing as he leaned against the door and tried to open it. The handle budged up and down but nothing happened and he tried checking his pockets for keys but all he found was the empty bottle of soju. He stared at it dumbly and briefly wondered if he had ended up at the wrong door when it swung inwards and he nearly stumbled right through the open gap. He felt hands seizing onto his hoodie tightly and then he was being wrenched inside.

"Tae you stupid..." Yoongi shoved him hard and he tripped over his own useless legs to land on the floor, slamming his chin hard on the carpet. The bottle in his hand didn't smash but rather stayed intact for his elbow took all of the force, the joint flaring with pain as he let out a cry of surprise. "Where the fuck have you been, huh?!"

"Out..."

"Yoongi don't-" he heard someone shifting and then the sound of rustling clothes and when he managed to get himself up into the seating position he saw Namjoon holding the other man back by his upper arm. Had Yoongi attempted to grab him again? He might just get that ass-kicking he had wanted all of those hours ago.

"Still gonna claim you've got no problems to talk about?" Jungkook asked as he got to his feet, no longer sitting on the settee but rather moving to stand right in front of him. Taehyung eyed the room to see that all of his friends were present and accounted for...and they all looked pissed.

"What're you talking about?" he asked in a drunken mumble, squinting because the room light was making his head hurt. "I dunno...what's going on?"

"What's going on is that you're fucking drunk," Jungkook spat as he managed to struggle back up to his feet, "and you're gonna deny that you have fucking problems when all of us can see that you do. Instead you'll just shout and throw shit and you'll blame all of us. And when it's all over you'll call us fucked up when you should really take a good hard look at yourself. You're a fucking mess Tae."

He felt his fingers tightening around the bottle of soju, so much so that it was a miracle the thin glass didn't snap from the pressure he was applying on it. How dare he say something like that to him? After everything that happened, after everything that they had all been through together, how could the boy look right him in the eyes and say those words to him? And Jungkook was still talking, still ranting at him with that angry expression on his face. Talking to him like he was a fucking child, like he was a puppy that had pissed all over the sitting area floor, finger pointed out at him.

"It's all one big fucking game for you Tae but you don't even realise. You don't even realise how big this is!" The boy threw his arms out wide for emphasis. "You think that this little delusion is gonna last forever. You'll be seventeen for eternity and nothing bad's ever gonna to happen to you but it already has!"

"Shut up," he muttered under his breath, "shut the fuck up."

"No, no I'm not gonna shut up I'm gonna keep talking 'cos someone has to. Someone has to finally make you listen."

"What if I don't wanna, huh? What then?"

"Tae, just let him talk," Seokjin said from his position across the room. "He's right, you need to hear this."

"You've been drinking constantly ever since we started this fucking 'adventure' and you haven't been sober for more than a night or so before getting wasted again! You don't bring the bottles or cans back but you stink of booze!" The boy was pacing up and down in front of him like a pendulum and he watched him. "You've been stealing shit every single day even when we didn't need it! You can't seem to stop stealing!" Taehyung set his jaw at this and bit down on his lip. "And that's not even the worst part!"

"Don't talk about that. I mean it Kookie, don't you fucking dare."

"Why? What're you gonna do?" Jungkook stopped before moving to stand right in front of him. He leaned close and held his gaze without blinking and Taehyung finally saw what all of those drunkards did on the streets: the ones that picked fights with him all of the time. The boy wasn't scared in the slightest. He looked at him on an equal level, practically the same height, and his expression was steely. But his eyes were burning with an anger that was just lurking beneath the surface, waiting to spring forth like a wild animal released from a cage.

"You'll regret it."

"Hey, back up," Namjoon shifted from the corner and grabbed the boy's arm just like he had with Yoongi. "This isn't a boxing ring. This is an intervention and that means no fighting."

"What this is is a fucking witch hunt," Taehyung said with a scoff. "All of you ganging up on me 'cos you're all pissed off about something and you wanna blame it all on me."

"Pissed off about- Pissed off about you doing all kinds of shit and drinking yourself into an early grave?" Yoongi asked. "About you stealing and getting yourself into shit, huh? That's what we're all pissed off about."

"So what?!" Taehyung declared. "Why the fuck do you care about what I do?!"

"Because you're our friend," Hoseok said in a quiet voice. He was standing by the door and he would have to look over his shoulder to hold his gaze so instead he just stared at the hostel room carpet. "Because you're gonna get in trouble Tae, or maybe even die but you don't seem to give a fuck."

"Oh, so you all have your own problems and it's fine but I'm the one that needs to be made an example of?"

"We're trying to fix our own problems," Jimin said as he pulled at the sleeve of the pullover he was still wearing. "But you need help and-"

"Look who's talking."

"Don't," Yoongi intoned as he held a hand up to him, "don't you fucking dare Tae."

"Where's the cigarettes, huh? Did someone take 'em off you 'cos you've been such a naughty boy? Self-harming, yikes, that's pretty fucked up." The young man's face didn't even shift at this because he could see that he didn't care if he attacked him but if he went after the boy then he would. Namjoon would have to drag him away again. "Let's face it, we're all fucked up."

"None so much as you," Jungkook retorted over Namjoon's shoulder, "and you know it Tae. That's the worst part. You know you're fucked up and you just carry on doing it. What is it? Are you scared of finally slowing down and looking at it all properly, seeing exactly where you went wrong? Is it 'cos you don't wanna have to accept it all?" The boy looked ready to jump back into action and he held his eyes again and didn't say a word. "Or is it that you're so terrified of the future that you keep blindly fumbling in the now so you don't need to think about it?"

"I'm not scared of anything."

"You are, you're fucking terrified of the future," Jungkook said before laughing. "But you're too stubborn to admit it. Too selfish, too stupid and too stubborn."

"Says the spoilt brat runaway."

"Yeah, I'm spoilt and I'm not scared to admit it. Yeah I take a lot of shit for granted and I know it. So why don't you admit it too? Admit that you're a fucking train wreck and that you need help."

"No."

"No you don't need help? Or no you won't admit it?" Hoseok asked and this time he did glance over his shoulder to look at him. His friend had his arms folded over his chest, leaned back against the wall, and he looked weary with it all: with him. Taehyung swallowed hard and didn't reply and he just cocked his head at him and waited to see if he would.

"There's nothing wrong with needing help," Seokjin said.

"Let's see. Get help? OK I'm totally gonna get help from," Taehyung turned to point at them all in turn, "a spoilt brat, a gambling addict, a soon to-be college dropout, a self-harming chain smoker, a suicidal fuck up and," he span on his heel and looked right at Hoseok, "a manic depressive with an addiction to Xanax." The boy narrowed his eyes but didn't look away. "You guys are gonna be so helpful. Why, you might just cure me."

"You're a drunk," Jungkook said in a low voice, "and you didn't even finish high school. You're a runaway, a kleptomaniac." He stepped around Namjoon and the young man didn't pull back on him this time. "You've been arrested more times than you can count on both hands and you're gonna end up in jail if it happens again." The boy was once again right in front of him and he had his head on a soft angle as he studied him. "You're a fucking wreck and you let guys fuck you-"

"Jungkook."

"for a couple of thousand won," he finished over Seokjin. "You need help and don't fucking look me in the eyes and tell me you don't."

Taehyung glared at him and he could feel his hands shaking terribly at his sides. The hostel room went silent for a few seconds and there seemed to be a weight to the silence. It felt like all of the air was being pulled out and he suddenly found it hard to breathe because they were all staring at him: the Judas of the gang right in the centre of the room.

"Fuck you Jeon Jungkook."

"Do I have to pay you for that?"

The boy's words were like a slap across the face and he actually heard a gasp of surprise from across the room. His own mouth fell open and Taehyung felt it opening and closing uselessly for a moment, unable to even move his tongue. This wasn't an exchange of heated words anymore, this was personal and he felt a wave of anger taking over him. Before he could stop himself he grabbed the boy by the neck of his tee, the fabric scrunching up tightly in his fist, and he wrenched hard. Jungkook staggered forward but his hands were already on his and breaking his grip.

"You little fucker!"

"Tae, calm down OK just-" but Seokjin's words just flew right past him and had no effect. Calm down? Calm down after what he had just said to him? He had went through hell just for their sake and the boy's taunt had been like a verbal punch right in the throat. The anger started to become more of a tidal wave, a strong rush coursing through him and he heard his friends shouting at him, heard them all jumping to their feet in an attempt to get involved before it really got out of hand, before it got physical. Namjoon darted forward to grab at Jungkook's shoulder but the boy shifted to grab hold of his upper arm instead.

"This is your fucking 'adventure'! This is your idea of fun and games and it's gonna fucking destroy you!" Taehyung wrenched himself free but the boy still managed to swing his fist out and land a blow right on his jaw. The impact made his head rock back hard and he staggered but didn't trip over his feet. He felt hands grabbing at him too but he shrugged them off roughly. "Do you wanna die that badly, huh?! Do you wanna die so much that you wanna drag is all down with you?!"

"I don't wanna die, I wanna feel alive! I wanna fucking live!"

"You're a fucking train wreck!" Jungkook shouted back, shoving and twisting to stop Namjoon and Yoongi from grabbing his arms. "A car crash! You're the fucking Titanic!"

"I wished that fucking car had killed you!" Taehyung shouted back, lifting the bottle of soju up and pointing the bottom of it at him. The slight remains poured out and down his arm and splashed onto the carpet.

"Seriously guys! Stop it!" Namjoon shouted as he snagged at the back of the boy's tee. Jungkook jerked forward and there was a crisp tearing sound as the cotton ripped in his grip.

"Well it didn't!"

"Good! That means I can kill you instead!" Hoseok actually grabbed a handful of his hair to try and pull him away and Taehyung just tore himself free, barely even feeling the stinging in his scalp as he did.

"Just try it! You're turning into your fucking father!" Jungkook spat at him, struggling to break out of Yoongi's hold, arms around his ribs so that he could shove him back every time he tried to push him away. Before Seokjin could get a good grip on his arm Taehyung knocked him aside and stormed forward and that was when he felt the weight of the bottle in his hand: the press of the glass in his palm. Before he could even register what he was doing he cocked his arm back and then swung the bottle downwards.

Except the blow he had been aiming to hit the other boy with did not land its mark; did not land because Jimin had jumped right between them both at that exact second.

His friend had been shouting something too but his words had gotten lost under the cacophony of other voices and he had just seen his lips moving rather than hear what he was saying. Arms held up and out to try and create a barricade to separate them both, Jimin had dived in front of him and that was when his arm came down and the bottle finished its sweeping descent to hit him. The impact was so hard that he felt it jarring all the way down his arm to his shoulder joint and the glass shattered to fly everywhere. The blow he had been aiming for the side of Jungkook's head instead landed to strike the other boy right on his jaw.

For a moment time seemed to stop and Taehyung could only stare at him in dumb confusion, and then Jimin's knees unhinged and he dropped to hit the floor with a loud thump. He looked at the shattered remains of bottle clasped in his palm, the neck and the jagged edges like teeth and then he dropped it as if the contact burnt his fingers. He didn't mean to hit him. He didn't mean to do it but he had and now...now the boy was lying on the floor and he wasn't moving.

Seokjin nearly knocked him over to get to him and he dropped to his knees before grabbing his head in his hands. Taehyung could see that there was blood coming from a wound on his jaw, a series of slashes from where the bottle had hit him and exploded from the blow. Their friend said that he was unconscious but breathing and then he turned his face to try and get a better look and that was when he saw it: the shard.

There was a shard from the bottle sticking through the boy's throat; a piece of glass pierced right into his skin on the side of his neck.

In the overhead room light it glinted at him and Taehyung felt a moan of horror escaping his lips.

"Hoseok, go to the desk and call an ambulance right now," Seokjin said in a scarily calm tone. "Tell the operator it's an emergency, tell them-"

"Emergency? The fuck do you mean 'emergency'?" Yoongi asked as the sound of the door flying open sounded from across the room. "What're you-" The young man shifted to let go of Jungkook and his eyes dropped to Jimin and he stopped talking, seemed to go dumb. His eyes latched onto the shard of glass and then they lifted to look right at him and before any of them could even think to react Yoongi dived at him.

"No!" Namjoon shouted as he grabbed his upper arms and pulled him back. "No more fighting! You all wanna kill each other that badly?!"

"Tae, I swear to fucking god," Yoongi threatened as he let him pull him away, "if anything happens to him you're fucking dead!"

And he knew that this wasn't just one of his usual attempts at scaring people, he was being entirely serious and right now Taehyung would have happily let him kill him. He couldn't take his eyes off that stupid chunk of glass wedged in Jimin's throat and he felt himself getting dizzy, felt everything getting numb and distant. Taehyung's knees unhinged and unlike the other boy he didn't collapse on the floor because someone managed to catch him before he did.

The last thing he saw before passing out was Jungkook's face leaning over him and then everything mercifully faded to black.