Hoseok opened his eyes and for a moment he was confused, mind still foggy from sleep to register what he was seeing. But then he remembered where they were and it suddenly hit him that he wasn't lying on a freight train right now but rather in a bed, a hostel bed. He was sharing a hostel bed with Taehyung and he couldn't see him but he could feel him alright. The boy was lying in front of him, head not on the pillow but rather on the mattress so that he could bury his face against his chest. Even through his tee he could feel the warmth of his breath. There was a slight dent in the pillow to show him that he had been using it at some point before he decided to use him as a one instead. He stared at the light blue fabric before moving his head ever so slightly, and then he felt the boy's hair against his chin, the crown of his head. Moving to get out of bed was going to prove a trifle difficult seen as the boy was almost glued to him and after a few seconds he realised that he could feel something else too. A weight on his lower legs that most certainly felt like a body.

Hoseok lifted his head so that he could look down, trying to not knock Taehyung and disturb him in his sleep. The sight that the new angle revealed was one that confused him greatly. Jungkook was lying on the bottom of the bed, curled up so that he was on both of their legs. The position didn't look comfortable and yet the boy was fast asleep, legs tucked up tightly against his chest hugging one of the pillows Namjoon had given him last night. The boy had volunteered to sleep on the battered settee across the room even though he was a little too tall to fit onto it, and yet at some point the boy had moved onto their bed instead. Had he possibly had trouble sleeping and it had given him a strange comfort to share the bed, even if it was just a little space at the bottom? It reminded him of how he had kicked Taehyung to the bottom of the bed just those couple of days ago, before everything had went crazy, and yet the boy was now sharing with him no problem.

Because he's not drunk, he thought, having to suppress a laugh just in case the movement woke Taehyung up. That was partly the reason but mostly it was because the other boy had at least confessed his feelings to him and gotten it out in the open. Hoseok felt that he could trust him more now that he knew, now that Taehyung was willing to talk to him at least rather than play dumb and then try and kiss and touch him at the most inconvenient of times. The awkward hurdle that the boy had put up over the past few months had finally been cleared and he felt a sense of relief at this, for he had struggled immensely with trying to talk about anything with him; one of the reasons he had been so set upon keeping his Xanax treatment to himself. If he couldn't tell Taehyung something then he really didn't know who he could tell, but now he didn't need to worry about that at all. Not only had he already blurted everything out but he had also managed to get the boy to talk to him; a two birds with one stone situation.

"...na go back to sleep." There was a sleepy mumble from behind him and then a laugh that knew belonged to Seokjin. Their eldest friend was laughing at Namjoon because he had undoubtedly woken up and tried to make the other young man do so too, and Namjoon most certainly did not want to.

"Fine, a few more minutes." The sound of bed springs creaking softly and then his friend walking across the room to go into the bathroom. Hoseok contemplated trying to disengage himself from Taehyung's arms and sit up when the other boy made a noise in his sleep and then shifted. His face brushed against his chest and then he tried to roll onto his back, struggling to do so because his legs were pinned underneath the other boy's weight.

"...The fuck?" Taehyung lifted his head to study the sight too. He squinted at Jungkook before putting his head back down on the pillow, reaching up to place the back of his arm over his eyes like an eye mask.

"You look wrecked," Hoseok said with a grin and the other boy's lips twitched at the corners. From the bathroom came the soft sound of humming and then water running, hitting the porcelain tub like rain on windowpanes. "Did you sleep OK?"

"Nope, how could I, huh?"

"I slept perfectly fine," he said in confusion, furrowing his brows softly as he did, "and you seemed pretty comfortable hugging me to death."

"So you didn't hear..." Taehyung moved his arm so that he could look at him, turning his head slightly. He studied his puzzled expression and then snorted laughter. "Jesus fucking Christ, talk about lucky." Hoseok asked him what he was talking about, not liking the fact that the boy knew something that he didn't and that he was going to tease him about it all day if possible. "Hmm...let me just say that the walls are really thin in this place." Then his friend sat up with a groan. "Kookie, get the fuck off me, what're you a dog?" Says Koala Boy...he thought with a grin as Taehyung reached down and rudely shoved the boy. Jungkook made a surprised noise as he tried to not roll off the bed. But he failed and there was a horrible thud as he hit the floor.

"Kim Taehyung!" he whined, making them both laugh at the sound. "My fucking ribs dude!"

"Oh shit, I forgot you got hit by a car!" Taehyung declared before laughing even harder, getting onto his hands and knees to crawl to the bottom of the bed. "Need any help?" Hoseok watched him go, ass wriggling from side to side as he did, and when he saw the boy hold a hand out to the other he felt an idea hit him and before he could stop himself he lifted one of his legs and kicked him hard. His foot connected right on his upper thigh and Taehyung yelped in shock before also slipping forward over the edge of the bed. He threw his arms out and kicked quite a bit, nearly hitting him in the head in the process, but he still ended up falling off the bed. There wasn't a loud thud this time but he heard Jungkook grunting as the boy landed on top of him, the sudden weight and impact likely winding him. Hoseok had wanted to give Taehyung a taste of revenge for pushing the other boy and he hadn't meant for him to land on him, and though he should have felt bad about this he found himself laughing.

"Tae, I'm gonna kill you," the youngest boy practically rasped. Hoseok moved so that he could look down at the pair of them and sure enough he saw Jungkook lying sprawled out on the floor, the pillow cast off a few feet away, and Taehyung was lying over his middle. He hadn't fell on his bruised ribs at least, but he had landed on his lower stomach area and that wasn't in much better condition.

"If you don't let me sleep," Namjoon mumbled. "I'll kill you both." The young man had his back to them, covers wrenched up to near his chin so that only his hair was visible, and he looked very comfortable. Clearly he hadn't had Seokjin trying to squeeze him to death in his sleep, or sleeping on his legs and making them stiff and sore.

"I'll help," Hoseok offered and the sound of the shower water cut off suddenly. Seokjin must be in a rush and that meant that they were going to have to hurry too. Yet he didn't really want to get off the bed, he was pretty comfortable right now too.

"So," Taehyung said as his head popped up over the edge of the bed like a gopher emerging from its den. There were a few wisps of hair sticking up annoyingly and Hoseok wanted to flatten them with his hand so he shifted to get to reach over and do so. The boy's shoulders went up slightly at his touch and he looked at him for a second before glancing over the others. When Hoseok looked down he saw that he was still sitting on top of Jungkook and the boy looked torn between pushing him off and considering turning it into a wrestling match. "Did you all sleep well last night, huh?"

"Don't," Seokjin said as he appeared in the doorway of the bathroom. He wasn't wearing his vest but rather just a clean pair of underwear, the other item of clothing slung around his neck like a temporary towel. He slipped his toothbrush out, speaking around a mouthful of foam, and he pointed the stick at him. The expression on his face showed that he wasn't in the mood for the boy's jokes and antics, yet that just made Taehyung's boxy little grin widen even more.

"The settee was itchy so I didn't wanna sleep on it," the youngest boy said as he reached up to brush his hair back off his brow. "It was also hard."

"That wasn't the only hard thing..." Taehyung said with a snort. Seokjin rolled his eyes as he disappeared back into the bathroom, the sound of water running for a few seconds. Then he leaned around the doorway to look at the boy.

"Seriously Tae, be mature for once in your life, please?" he said wearily. Hoseok looked between them both and he felt that same annoyance that he had a few minutes ago. He didn't like being left out of the loop and he finally knew what the others felt like when they hadn't known about his medication problem.

"C'mon, you think I'd really say something, huh?"

"Tae, you're a motormouth and you totally would," Namjoon said as he also moved to sit up, rubbing at his eyes roughly with a yawn.

"Yeah, but I'm not fucking stupi- wait, I mean I'm not..." Taehyung paused for a moment, mouth open as he rolled his eyes up and tried to think of something to say, and the expression made Jungkook start laughing. He reached down and grabbed the boy's cheeks with one hand, squeezing them until the youngest boy started wriggling and shoved his hand away. "Wait, what was I talking about again?"

"Nothing," Namjoon said as he shifted to swing his legs over the side of the bed. After a moment he got to his feet and crossed the room to go into the bathroom, squeezing past Seokjin because he was still standing in the open doorway. Their eldest friend stayed there for a few seconds before moving over to the other bed and reaching down to collect his holdall. Then he bent back down again and grabbed something else and judging from the rustling sound he was getting into his jeans. A second later he got back upright and he saw it was so, Seokjin hastily fixing his zipper and popping the button through the fastener.

"Don't you think it's awkward if we don't talk about it?" Taehyung asked, expertly knocking Jungkook's hands aside as he tried to grab onto his shoulders and roll him off. "'Cos I do and-"

"Are we going to talk about everything that happened on the road?" Seokjin asked suddenly, sorting through his holdall to get something else to wear. He settled on a grey tee, slipping it over his head and pulling down on the ends roughly. He reached up to fix his damp hair and looked over at the boy, raising an eyebrow as he did. "Are we going to talk about all of the things that you did?"

"Uh..." Taehyung thought this over for a moment before dropping his gaze to the boy he was half-sitting on, half-lying on, and then he shook his head. Hoseok could only marvel at the fact that their friend had managed to get the boy to leave something alone by just mentioning the mistakes of the past. He was so amazed that he didn't even care that he didn't know what they were talking about.

"Just leave it alone, please?" Seokjin asked before going to the door and unlocking it. He stepped inside and closed the door over and after a few seconds Jungkook asked him what the hell was going on.

"I dunno, I shouldn't say anything in case mom gets pissed with me," Taehyung said out of the corner of his mouth.

"Like you even give a shit," Jungkook said with a smirk and the other boy thought this over before rapidly agreeing with him. "Come on, just tell us. We won't say anything, right Hoseok?" Hoseok nodded in agreement and the boy shifted but he was still sitting on Jungkook.

"I uh...well...maybe it's better if I don't tell you and instead do this." The boy let his words hang in the air for a moment, and then he moved so suddenly that neither of them even expected it. Taehyung started enthusiastically bouncing up and down on the boy's stomach and Jungkook let out a shocked laugh as he reached up to try and knock him free but he couldn't budge him. "Jimin," he said in a breathy voice as he squeezed his face up, not shouting because he didn't want Namjoon to hear him in the other room, "oh Jimin, fuck me harder Jimin!"

"No!" Hoseok cried out in shock, clapping his hand over his mouth before bursting out into shocked laughter.

"Swear to god," Taehyung said, stopping his impromptu bouncing to look right at him. "How did you not hear it?" He said that he was asleep, that he was clearly a deep sleeper. "Fuck, I've never heard Yoongi make so much noise before and-"

"Tae," Jungkook said as he tried to shove him off him.

"and I've seen him get pretty pissed, y'know? Like really yelling but it was nothing like last night. I mean-"

"Tae, my stomach hurts please get off me-"

"he must've died and went to heaven or something," Taehyung carried on talking over the boy just to annoy him and he saw Jungkook setting his jaw in annoyance. "Who'd have thought Badass is that good huh, I'm-" the youngest boy reached up and roughly pushed him off and the boy landed on the floor with a loud thump. Then Jungkook sat up and held a hand against his poor bruised stomach with a wince. "I'm surprised." Taehyung finished as he shifted to cock his elbow and rest his head on the palm of his hand.

"Don't mention it Tae," Jungkook said as he lifted his tee to look at his bruises for a moment. Hoseok saw that they were no longer purple but mostly a deep brown, but one or two were still a little blue. "Seriously Seokjin's right, don't be the guy that ruins something with a stupid joke. Not after everything, you know?"

"Wait, does little Kookie think this is cute?" the boy asked with a smirk and Jungkook sighed heavily and shot him a weary look.

"I think that Jimin has had a fucking terrible time since we started this stupid adventure and if something good happened for him you shouldn't ruin it. Yes it's shocking, yes it's pretty funny to think about, but that's just it: think about it." He leaned forward and poked his forehead with his forefinger. "Don't talk about it."

"I think it's...well not cute, but I guess it's nice," Hoseok said as he reached up and played with the collar of his tee. "Kookie's right, Jimin has really had a hard time. He's probably had the worst of all of us. So if he finally managed to...enjoy himself or whatever then we should leave him alone."

"Plus," Jungkook said as he got to his feet and went over to the bathroom, "Yoongi would kick your fucking ass if you did say anything."

"Yeah yeah," Taehyung rolled his eyes at this and waited until he disappeared into the other section of the room, "I've been trying to enjoy myself for quite some time too..." Hoseok held his gaze and refused to back down or show embarrassment at this. "Maybe we should demand the single room next time?"

"There won't be a next time," he replied with a grin, "because we're nearly in Seoul. We'll be sleeping in freight carriages tonight. I know we will." The door across the room swung open again and Seokjin stepped back inside before closing it shut. The lock clicked loudly and Seokjin lifted a hand to suppress a yawn behind it. He asked where Jungkook was and the sound of the toilet flushing answered him, making him laugh under his breath.

"What time is it?" Seokjin asked as he crossed over to sit down on the bed, wiping his bare feet on the carpet as he did to remove any dust from the concrete walkway outside. As he hunkered down and grabbed his boots Taehyung checked his watch and announced that it was 8:12am. "Huh, that's early than I thought it was, I thought it was at least 10am. Pretty much two more hours than I was hoping to have to work with."

"What's the plan?" Namjoon asked as he emerged from the bathroom, roughly drying his hair with a towel as he did.

"Let's head back to the depot where the train we jumped last night ended up in. We can watch it all and find the right train we need before jumping it," their eldest friend explained, "and hopefully we'll be in Gyeonggi by the time we wake up tomorrow. The depot isn't that far right? Maybe...twenty minutes of walking if we don't drag our feet. We could be tucked away in a carriage before 9am if we hurry up and leave."

"Yoongi and Jimin?" Namjoon asked as he also collected his holdall and unzipped it to start sorting through his belongings.

"Getting ready as we speak, in fact Jimin was already in the shower when I went to wake them up."

"He's gonna need one after last night..." Taehyung said under his breath as he looked at him and Hoseok managed to keep a straight face and not smirk and give anything away.

"Did you see his injuries?" Hoseok asked instead, deflecting the topic so that the boy couldn't make any more jokes and get in trouble. Seokjin confirmed that he had with a nod. "Are they healing OK?"

"Looks to be the case, they looked a lot better than they did the first night. I think they'll heal up nice and cleanly, probably won't scar apart from the little mark on his neck. Jimin's tough, he can handle all of that no problem." Hoseok made a noise in agreement as he listened to the sound of the shower from the bathroom, Jungkook's singing not at all muted by it.

"Good," Namjoon said as he pulled a tee free and looked over them all. "We can all learn from him. Be strong and we'll all persevere."

The depot looked so much like the one back in Seoul that Hoseok found it rather unsettling. Though their hangout spot was empty most of the time unless there were work crews present in the early morning hours, he was still reminded of it because they weren't actually fully inside the depot. Instead they were all sitting on a low bridge so that they could eye everything that was going on down below them; watch the work crews also moving around like busy ants from train to train, the cranes moving logs and containers the size of buses from line to line. He hadn't seen the Seoul trainyard anywhere near as busy as this depot but the aesthesis was the same in the most strangest way possible and he wondered if his friends felt it too. There were no abandoned trains parts in the distance like tombstones, no tree roots bursting out of the platforms and the lines were certainly live, but he couldn't shrug the sensation off. There was a freeway just to the right of the depot just like their trainyard but there wasn't a sloping hill to roll down and rather just a towering wall of concrete. Barely any graffiti on it, certainly none of it as impressive as their red bullet tag that couldn't be aged by time nor weather.

"God," Jungkook said after a minute of silence, "this is gonna take forever."

Hoseok was seated right in the middle of the gang and he had to turn his head to look over at the boy. To his left was Taehyung, then Jungkook, then Seokjin. To his right was Jimin, then Yoongi and finally Namjoon. The bridge was also made out of concrete but the sides were just railings and nothing more, not even ornate ones but boring straight ones, no sharp tops on which people could get impaled but rather smooth ones like metallic rulers. They weren't very close together and Yoongi had managed to fit his legs through them, feet hanging over the drop whilst he leaned back on his wrists. Hoseok coped his position and found that his own slim legs barely managed to fit, revealing just how thin the young man had gotten these past few months. He folded his knees and felt his boot soles lightly hitting the side of the bridge.

"Most of these don't even have carriages," Jimin pointed out, both hands holding onto the bars in front of him as if he was trapped behind a prison cell. He was right, for most of the trains down below them had open-beds instead in which great towers of logs and mountains of coal were stored in. They couldn't use any of those trains and that meant waiting for one with actual carriages to pull in and unload, or alternatively reload, and then traveling down the line and jumping it as it pulled out and had already passed inspection.

"Give it a few minutes, be patient," Namjoon remarked, making all of them bar Seokjin roll his eyes.

"Seriously, you're patient right now?" Yoongi asked, turning to look at him. For once there wasn't a cigarette between his pursed lips and he looked strangely naked without it. The other man nodded and he narrowed his eyes. "You could totally sit here for ten hours and wait for a fucking train?"

"I didn't say ten hours," Namjoon replied pedantically, "but yeah it make take an hour or so. That's to be expected. An hour is nothing, it's a blessing if we only have to wait that long."

"If I have to wait an hour I'm gonna go nuts," Taehyung groaned, leaning forward so that his forehead smacked against the railings with a comically loud banging noise.

"I'm gonna go for a walk," Hoseok said as he slipped his legs back through the railings. "Just for a few minutes down by the tracks. Holler if you guys see anything."

"Sure thing," Seokjin said as he shifted to look over at him. It wasn't like he needed the man's permission to do so but he knew that he was doing it to let him know that he trusted he wouldn't wander off. He fixed his backpack straps and started walking along the bridge until he got to the stone steps that led down and into the depot. He practically skipped down them and then turned to walk under the bridge.

There were stacks of shipping containers in front of them and they seemed to stretch for miles but there was no need to worry about any workers shouting at him for they were all way down the lines and busy with other matters. None of the cranes even came close to where he was for they were too busy moving containers closer to the actual lines, so that meant he could just walk amongst the impromptu lanes for a few minutes before one of them called his name and let him know they needed to blow the place and race back to the tracks in preparation. Truthfully speaking Hoseok thought they could be here for thirty minutes or thirty hours, he wasn't holding out too much hope that they would end up finding the right vehicle nice and easy. That would be lucky, and though their luck was most certainly on the rise it wasn't at that level just yet.

"A little hope wouldn't hurt anyone," he said to himself, smiling as he did. It was true, but he had hoped for so much since starting this little adventure that he had gotten to the point of not wanting to hope in case it jinxed them all. He felt a little bit like Yoongi right now, always thinking of the bad rather than the good and he longed to get back to the old positivity that he used to always carry around. Why, he had rivaled Namjoon's positivity at some point but he was still too far away to be able to start preaching about sunshine and rainbows. Maybe soon... maybe when he got back to Seoul and he realised that he had managed to survive all of this; had kicked his horrid addiction to Xanax and gained a semblance of his old life then he might just be able to think that way again. My old life? Why do I know we're all never going to go back to that? We've all just come too far...

Hoseok reached out to run one of his hands along the shipping crate beside him. The corrugated sheet wall was warm from the morning sun and mostly smooth, occasionally pitted here and there against his fingertips from cracks in the paint or dents in the metal. He didn't really look at where he was going but rather just down at his boots, watching each step with rapt attention. More gravel underfoot, crunching as he walked. It took a moment to realise that his own boots weren't the only thing crunching on the gravel, that there was another set of footsteps sounding out of his sync with his own. He slowed his pace down and then stopped completely, but whoever was following after him didn't stop and carried on walking. Hoseok cocked his head and he didn't need to look back to know who it was.

"What do you want Tae?" He asked, turning his head so that he could look over his shoulder at his friend. As he had predicted it was Taehyung following after him, for it couldn't have really been anyone else. The boy had his hands shoved into his hoodie pockets rather than his jeans because his denim shirt was currently shoved away in his backpack, and after a second or two he stopped so that he was a few feet away.

"I was bored too," he said with a soft shrug. His shoulders rose and fell with such an unconscious grace, a physical sigh.

"I hate to break it to you, but this place isn't exactly going to help your boredom."

"No, but you can." Taehyung grinned at him, eyes just visible under the fall of his hood, and though he scoffed Hoseok felt a smile playing at the corner of his lips.

"Oh yes? Well I just came down here to stretch my legs, nothing more. I'm afraid I don't have any games to play with you right now." He started walking again, hand still running along the carriage as he did. Sure enough the boy followed after him and he eyed the endless stretch of freights in front of them. "If you want games Kookie's better at that than me, Jimin too. You should-"

But before he could finish this sentence he felt something colliding with his shoulder hard and he nearly stumbled over his feet. He managed to not fall and looked up to catch the other boy racing past him and he called out in confusion, asking him why the hell he had just pushed him. Taehyung whirled around but didn't stop running, beaming at him as he cupped his hands around his mouth.

"Tag, you're it lover boy!" he shouted and Hoseok stared at him in dumb confusion before realising what had happened. Then he was running after him as fast as he could. Taehyung yelped in surprise and turned around so that he could run properly and not trip over and he darted around the end of a shipping container and disappeared out of sight. Hoseok whirled around the corner, feeling the gravel sliding underfoot as he did and then he carried on down the new path between the crates. Clearly his friend didn't really understand the game of tag for he laughed loud enough for him to track his every move, zigzagging down the gaps between lanes as if he could lose him. But the boy got a little cocky and he tried to climb a ladder built into the side of one. Hoseok jumped and grabbed hold of his thigh tightly for a moment.

"No I'm not!" he called as he let go of him and raced down the lane. He heard Taehyung cursing under his breath as he tried to get down the ladder quickly, ending up jumping to try and save time. The sound of his boots was like a clap of thunder and he spared a glance back over his shoulder just in time to see the boy dropping his head and start chasing after him. He had to hand it to him, Taehyung was scarily fast when he wanted to be and he didn't think that a few seconds would help him stay ahead for very long. Hoseok tried rapidly moving between lanes in the hopes that he could add a few more seconds and then lose him by cutting back the way they had came but before he could he felt the boy grabbing hold of him and he tried to shrug his hand off him. So Taehyung played dirty and hooked his leg forward to trip him up. Hoseok let out a cry of surprise as he stumbled and hit the gravel, skinning his knees and palms of his hands on the rough stone.

"Come get me lover boy!" Taehyung hollered as he raced off and he couldn't even get to his feet before he flew around the end of the carriages and vanished out of sight. Hoseok got upright and wiped his hands on his jeans, catching his breath for a few seconds. His backpack was weighing him down considerably and making him get tired more quickly than usual. But he couldn't let the other boy beat him at something like this or he would never let it go and so he just ignored his stinging knees and started running after him again. He rounded the end of the row of containers and saw that Taehyung was nowhere in sight, he couldn't even hear him laughing or the sound of his boots pounding on the gravel. That meant that the boy was trying to hide from him between the crates most likely and so he slowed down and instead started scanning left and right as keen as a hawk.

"We're playing tag, not hide and seek!" he called with a laugh, hoping that he would get the other boy to react. But for once Taehyung kept his retorts exclusively to himself. "Come out come out wherever you are! I won't trip you up, I'll play nice, I promis-"

An arm shot out of a gap in front of him and Hoseok didn't even have enough time to register it before fingers seized hold of his tee and he was being pulled through and into an open shipping container.

"What if I don't want you to play nice?" Taehyung asked as he pushed him against the steel wall of the container. He didn't slam his head on it but the impact was still jarring enough. The boy let go of his tee and instead placed both hands on his shoulders and he leaned forward, so close that his lips were nearly brushing against his own. "What if I like...dirty?" Hoseok moved his arms and yet he didn't do it to push him away like usual. Instead he just placed his hands on his hips and he waited to see what his friend would do. It seemed that Taehyung hadn't been expecting this at all, that he had likely thought that he would push him away or turn him down, and for a moment the boy just looked back at him. Hoseok held his gaze unflinchingly, not even blinking, and he was aware of the fact that he had held his breath at some point.

"Since when did I play by your rules?" he managed to ask, feeling his lips gently brushing against his.

"Gimme your rules and I'll happily play along," Taehyung said, moving one hand from his shoulder so that he could cup his cheek instead. His palm felt cool against his skin and he knew it was probably because he was blushing, but in the dim lighting of the interior of the crate he probably didn't even notice this. Hoseok alluded to the idea that he might not have any rules at all and the other boy's gaze dropped to his lips to watch him speak. He knew that it was just a matter of seconds until the other boy kissed him and he was aware of the fact that this was the first time he had done so and not been incredibly drunk during it.

Taehyung moved his thumb over so that he could caress his lower lip and then he leaned forward and pressed his lips against the back of his thumb. Hoseok felt the slightest sensation of his mouth and then he reached up to knock his hand away so that he would kiss him fully. His lips brushed against his and the boy held them in place for a moment before he opened his mouth. His tongue poked at the corner of his mouth and then moved along his lower lip and Hoseok felt his pent-up breath hitching at the contact. Taehyung wasn't just doing this to make him open the kiss up and allow him inside, he knew that he was also tasting him; savouring him on his tongue like a shot of soju, and for once he couldn't taste the booze on his breath. He couldn't even taste cigarettes and he had enough time to think about how strange this was before Taehyung's tongue slipped inside his mouth. This wasn't like the stupid drunken kisses that he had showered on him in the past, always sloppy and forceful, hands grabbing at him needily like he was a float that could keep him adrift in the waves. No, Taehyung kissed him with surprisingly gentleness and his hand stayed on his cheek, thumb lightly stroking along his cheekbone. Hoseok closed his eyes and a moment later the boy broke the kiss. He had enough time to take a quick intake of breath and then he was kissing him again. He lifted his hands from his hips and instead ran them up to grab handfuls of his hoodie between his fingers.

"I've wanted to do this for...so long," Taehyung said breathlessly between kisses. "It was driving me crazy and I shouldn't have...have done it when I was drunk but I was scared and-"

"Scared?" Hoseok asked as he turned his face away and broke the contact. "Scared of what?"

"That you'd say no or that you'd...that you'd get angry and hit me," the other boy said, lips pressed against his cheek and eyelashes fluttering against his skin. "So I got drunk 'cos I thought that I'd be braver but I just made it all worst."

"I didn't..." he paused for a moment as he caught his breath, "I didn't want you to do something like that and regret it."

"...What?" Taehyung shifted so that he could look at him and Hoseok saw that his lips were slightly red from their kisses.

"...I didn't want you to kiss me or...or do anything with me and wake up the next morning and regret it. That's why I turned you down all of those times I was... I was scared that I would turn into a drunken mistake."

"Oh lover boy," his friend said with a soft laugh. "I've made some bad drunken mistakes but you'd never be one of those. Kissing you and...and fucking you would be a miracle."

Hoseok noted how he drew that word out, fucking, and he felt his face getting a lot hotter than it had been. There was a twin warmth starting to spread in his stomach too and he wondered if the other boy had any idea and then Taehyung kissed him again, harder than before. His tongue brushed against his and then the boy was nibbling on his lower lip, teasing it between his teeth and making him gasp in surprise. He felt his fingers seizing even more tightly onto his hoodie and then Taehyung's hand moved from his shoulder to his hip instead. He squeezed him tightly, thumb moving along the slight jut of his hipbone through the denim and then he moved it down to his inner thigh. He pressed his palm against him and then start stroking him through the fabric and Hoseok made a series of noises under his breath.

"Tae, the train-"

"You heard Namjoon, we've got all the time we need." His palm ran along his thigh and back up again, repeating the motion until he could feel himself getting aroused from the warmth of his touch.

"I don't know," he said breathless, "maybe we should wait." Yet he made no attempt at moving the boy's hand away. Taehyung moved his other hand to his zipper and he started fumbling with it. The boy had just managed to work it and he dropped to his knees when a voice echoed across the depot.

"...seok! Tae!" the shouting voice was hoarse and most certainly Yoongi's. "Hurry your asses up we gotta blow! Now!"

Hoseok didn't even think and he grabbed the other boy's hood roughly, dragging him to his feet even when Taehyung whined that he was pulling his hair. Then he snatched hold of his wrist and dragged him out of the container, darting back the way they had came as fast as he could. It was a lot harder to remember thanks to the boy's impromptu game of tag and so he had to stare up at the bridge and just run in the direction it was. He couldn't see any of their friends up there and when he got closer he saw a train starting to pick up speed on track close to them. He dragged his friend through the maze of shipping crates and when they emerged he raced under the bridge. Their friends were already miles ahead of them down the line, having ran down the steps and along the track in preparation. He caught sight of Jungkook slipping inside of one and willed himself to run that little faster. That was when Taehyung decided to take the lead, pulling his wrist free to seize hold of his hand instead.

"So much for a fucking hour!" the boy shouted and even from their distance he heard their friends laughing.

"Shit, we're never gonna catch them," Hoseok said, watching the train starting to pick up speed with each passing second.

"I got a plan," Taehyung announced as he pulled him along the tracks and closer to the train. The boy scanned the carriages before seeing one with a door on their side and so he slipped it open. "Jump in!" He didn't have a clue what to expect, what his plan even was, but he jumped into the carriage as told and a moment later Taehyung did too. His friend helped him to his feet before letting out a breathless sigh of relief. The end of the carriage had a door, much like a passenger train, and he wondered if it had possibly been refurbished over the years. The interior was packed with boxes and so he pulled him through and to the door before opening it.

"Follow me," Taehyung instructed before jumping over the slight gap between the carriages. He slipped onto the other platform and pulled the door open so Hoseok closed the one behind him and accepted his outstretched hand as he crossed over to the other carriage. They had to do this three times before they got to the right one, weaving through boxes of stock that smelled fragrant and like food produce to his nose. There was no need to worry about falling for the gaps between each carriage were nothing. He could practically step over if he stretched far enough. When Taehyung finally pulled him inside the carriage their friends all cheered in a mixture of sarcasm and relief.

"Thanks for the heads up," Hoseok said as he hunkered down.

"Hey, that thing came outta nowhere," Namjoon argued, "we nearly missed it too."

"How the fuck did you miss it?" Taehyung asked as he sat down on the floor with a groan, stretching his legs out in front of him. "It's a fucking train, it's not like it's small or anything!"

"I didn't stop at all," Seokjin explained, "it was just passing through the depot and luckily for us Kookie turned around and saw it on the horizon." He reached over and placed a hand on the youngest boy's shoulder. "Talk about lucky, huh?"

"Ummm...Hoseok?" Jungkook asked suddenly.

"Yes?"

"Why is your fly open?" Hoseok followed his eyes downwards and he saw that he had indeed left his zipper open, a flash of his underwear visible through the wide gap. Taehyung had fumbled it down just a few moments ago but not fastened it back up. He fixed it as fast as he could but not before all of them stared.

"You guys wanted to blow this place," Taehyung said after a moment of silence, wide smirk on his face. "But I had a different idea..."

For the last few days it had been rather easy to ignore the horrible sensation in the pit of his stomach. He had been so distracted by everything else: the revelations of his friends' problems and mistakes, the hostel room arguments that had ended up in fights, and Jimin in hospital, that his mind had been thoroughly occupied. That had been a blessing, for it had meant that he had been able to tune out the incessant little whine at the back of his mind begging him for his pills. It wasn't always his own voice that he heard, mostly it depended on the thoughts that were racing through his mind at the time. Sometimes he would hear the cool and clinical sound of his doctor's voice telling him that he just had to take the pills, demanding it more than suggesting it. Other times it was his mother, sweet and gentle like an audible embrace, and she would try and reason with him, tell him that if he took the pills he would feel so much better and he would be able to enjoy things a lot more; push the stormy clouds away for clear blue skies. He much preferred these two voices, for even though they tried to tempt him the most they were better than his own voice. When Hoseok heard his own voice in his head it was never pleasant or reasoning, it was only ever to put himself down.

That little voice in the back of his head would tell him that he was worthless and stupid and that he should take the pills and stop acting like a child. It would call him pathetic, as if its own patheticness was irrelevant to the situation. It would try and beat him down and make him give up and it was so much harder to block out than the two other voices.

Could a person possibly lose an argument with themselves? He didn't think that it was possible.

Right now, lying on his side and staring out of the open carriage door at the blurred scenery that went past, he wished more than anything that he could sleep but he couldn't. It was beyond him even when his body was aching and he felt drained. There was no headache present, which was a good thing, but everywhere else seemed to be prone to random moments of pain mostly in the form of his muscles aching. It would start at one part of his body and then spread to the next before going away for awhile, only to return with a vengeance once more. He felt cold even when the breeze coming in through the open door was rather warm and tinged with the scent of sweet grass. He knew that if he lifted his arm and placed his wrist against his brow he would feel clammy skin and beads of sweat.

This is what recovery felt like.

He told himself that Jungkook and Jimin had it a lot worse than he did. Both of them had injuries that required healing, physical injuries. Jungkook's bruises might be starting to fade but the tenderness of his ribs and stomach was still present, making him spend more time sitting down and being still than usual to the point in which he couldn't help but notice it. The youngest boy was always moving around doing something, but now he was mostly reduced to spending his hours stationary and rather just observing everything keenly with his eyes when he would have used his fingers and feet not that long ago. Jimin was still very much in the healing process rather than mostly past it like Jungkook. He still had grievous wounds on his skin that weren't closed over yet, but also terrible marks on his soul too. His situation was nothing like theirs and yet he knew if he declared this his friends would argue otherwise. They would tell him that his problem was just as valid and important, but he couldn't help but feel it was not the case. His problem had been caused by his own hands unlike theirs. If anything, he was in the same position as Yoongi right now, possibly Taehyung. He had an addiction, his addiction was bad for him and it was hurting him more than helping him.

Hoseok almost wished that he just had physical wounds to heal. They might hurt and leave a scar in their wake but they were nothing like mental wounds; spiritual wounds. Those always seemed to leave a scar and sometimes...just sometimes they didn't heal at all.

He studied the rolling view of the fields outside for a few more seconds before deciding that that was making him feel more nauseous, a strange sense of vertigo playing with his mind and unsettling his stomach. So he rolled over onto his back instead and stared up at the ceiling. That wasn't moving at least, though he could feel the carriage floor vibrating all the way through his skin and down to his bones.

"What's on your mind lover boy?" Hoseok turned his head ever so slightly to locate his friend, seeing that Taehyung was but a few feet away from him like always.

"Pills," he replied honestly, feeling no need to lie to him now after everything. "The pills are on my mind just like fucking always."

"Man that sucks," his friend muttered under his breath, the sentiment making him smile for some reason. Trust Taehyung to be so blunt but also so correct at the same time; no need to be poetic, it really did just suck.

"What's on your mind?"

"Can't seem to sleep without booze anymore," Taehyung said with a weary sigh. "When I was drunk I was numb and that made it so much more easier to sleep, but now I'm sober I can hear and see and feel and think everything with a clarity and I don't really want that." The boy shifted so that he was lying on his stomach, arms folded up so that he could rest his chin on them. He arched his back ever so slightly as he tried to get comfortable and Hoseok found his eyes drawn to his hips, to the soft swell of his behind. The movement was so fluid and cat-like but that was not the animal that came to mind when he thought of his friend. He was more of a wolf most days. Possibly a rabid dog. "I'd do anything for a single fucking shot of soju, I swear. I'm talking a single shot, not even a bottle."

"You don't need that shit Tae," Hoseok said quietly. "You don't, and I don't need the pills either. We just think that we do."

"Our brains are playing tricks on us," Taehyung said and he could only nod in agreement. "Hey Hoseok?"

"Yes?"

"This carriage is a little cramped, we should go into one of the other ones." Hoseok turned so that he could roll onto his side and look at him fully, cocking one arm up under his head so that he could rest his head on the palm of his hand. Taehyung held his gaze without looking away once and after a moment his lips lifted in a cocky grin. "We could finish off what we started earlier..." He let this hang in the air and Hoseok wished that his words didn't make his cheeks suddenly feel a lot warmer than they had seconds ago. He didn't say anything and instead watched the boy, waiting until he was practically squirming in front of him, and only then did he get to his feet and move to cross the carriage. He heard Taehyung making an excited noise at the back of his throat as he slipped the door open.

Hoseok eyed the slight gap between the carriages and then turned his head to study the skyline. It was so dark that he couldn't make anything out at all beyond the glow of distant cities like fireflies, most of the clouds blocking out the stars. Then he jumped over to the other slight platform, grabbing hold of the metal railing as he did and he slipped the other door open. He stopped in the doorway and looked back to see his friend on his knees in the other carriage, rooting through his backpack like a mole digging through soil. He didn't know what he was doing but he saw him shoving something into his hoodie pocket and then he was upright and hastily crossing the carriage to exit and follow after him.

"Tae," he said as his friend stepped over the gap, moving back so that he could get past him. The boy grabbed his wrist eagerly. "Tae I don't want to promise anything, you know? I might not feel comfortable and-" Taehyung leaned forward and kissed him ever so gently, letting go of his wrist to grab both of his cheeks instead.

"Lover boy," he said, breath soft against his skin, "we can stop when you wanna stop. I'm in your hands."

"It's just...I've never done anything like this before and I feel pretty...well, stupid," Hoseok said, wishing that his voice didn't sound as uneven and nervous to his ears as it did. "And I-" he stopped talking when he saw the boy slipping something out of his pocket, eyes latching onto the bottle. "Tae, where the fuck did you get that?"

"What?" Taehyung's eyebrows raised comically up under the messy fall of hair on his brow and then he laughed. "Oh this? I stole it."

"You've been carrying around stolen lube this entire time? What the fuck?"

"I stole it back in...Gyeonggi I think, don't really remember I wasn't sober." He asked him why and the boy grinned. "Why'd you think? I stole it 'cos I was planning on...grand things." Hoseok swallowed a lump in his throat and suddenly lost the ability to speak. "But I was hoping to be halfway through it at least...maybe even empty by now."

"Tae, you're too much..." Hoseok managed to stutter as the boy slipped his hoodie off and dropped it on the floor. They were both already barefoot, boots left in the other carriage hours ago, so there was no need to awkwardly unknot laces at least. The boy wrenched his tee off over his head and he seemed to notice that he hadn't moved yet so he dropped it aside and went to grab his tee when he stopped him. "I don't want to be... be naked."

"Since when have you been shy?" Taehyung asked with a grin as he moved his hands to his jeans instead.

"Not sure, it's a good thing you're not, huh?" The boy smirked in agreement and he let him help his out of his jeans because he felt unable to do so himself, fingers a little too useless for that. "What if the others hear us?" Hoseok asked as he pulled down on the waistband of his underwear, eyes staring off across the empty train carriage.

"Don't make too much noise then. Don't do a Yoongi, I won't." The joke made him laugh even when he was so nervous that he could feel himself trembling. He reached down without looking and and fumbled his fingers along the other boy's jeans waistband. Taehyung had to help him work the annoying zipper and he had only just dropped his jeans down when he realised that the other boy wasn't wearing any underwear and then Taehyung moved his hips forward against his. Hoseok felt his breath catch in his throat as the boy gently ground against him, hand grabbing onto his hips tightly before moving along to his buttocks. He could sense an urgency about him as he nuzzled the side of his throat and continued those soft, almost circular movements. The sensation of his hips, his breath on his neck, was enough for him to feel himself stiffening. There was a warmth in the pit of his stomach that was so intense that he couldn't stop himself from forcing him down against the floor of the carriage, hearing Taehyung laughing as he did.

"What...what do I do?" Hoseok asked, mentally chastising himself for sounding so stupid.

"I just want you inside of me, now, right now," Taehyung said, so fast that it was almost as if he had spoken a single word. He grabbed the bottle of lube and squeezed it hard, so much coming out onto his hand that it leaked down his wrist and his forearm, but the boy didn't care and instead reached over to take him in his hand. Hoseok couldn't stop a surprised noise from escaping even when he bit down on his lip and he applied the lube to his erection before tugging on him. Everything was moving so fast that his head was spinning but all he knew was that he wanted to do this, no matter if the others found out or heard them. So he shifted to balance his weight on his wrists and let Taehyung guide him forward by hand, opening his thighs wide and angling himself so that he could get into the perfect position. The boy nudged him against his entrance a few times and then Hoseok gave in and thrust forward slightly, feeling himself slipping inside the boy. Taehyung made series noises under his breath that could have been pained but it was hard to tell with him breathing so unevenly. But the sensation...it was something so intense and oh god, wasn't he so hot and tight around his cock in a way that he had never even imagined possible?

"Oh lover boy," he groaned under his breath, lifting his hips up slightly, "you have no idea how long I've...waited for this."

"I think I do," Hoseok replied. "You never shut the fuck up about it."

"...Fuck," Taehyung groaned and the noise coming out of his mouth was enough to make his erection throb. "I want all of you inside of me."

"Tae, stop talking." He said as he shifted to balance his weight on his elbows instead of his wrists, slipping in a little deeper as he did. The boy's laugh turned into a moan and he buried his face against the side of his neck. He felt his tee hanging down and annoyingly getting in the way and so he let the boy help him out of it, casting it aside on the dirty carriage floor as if it was nothing more than trash. He didn't seem to care about his nakedness any more. That was much better and he looked down at Taehyung as his hands moved up to grab hold of his biceps. The boy held his eyes without the slightest hint of embarrassment, lips parted slightly so that he could let his breath out of them in little moans or whimpers. He rocked his hips forward more steadily, going a little deeper and Taehyung shifted with each thrust, his bare back making rustling noise against his cast-off hoodie, his own hips moving in response to him. The boy was urging him to go deeper and he could barely pace himself, feeling the need to slip all of the way in and feel that tightness around his cock.

"Lover boy," he breathed against his neck, "you-"

"Don't call me that, call me Hoseok."

"Hoseok," Taehyung corrected, moaning his name in a way that he would very much like to hear over and over. "You love me, right?"

"Yes Tae," he said breathlessly.

"Even when I'm a fuck up and I get into trouble and-"

"Yes, even then Tae."

"and I cause everyone pain and-" Hoseok moved to block his mumbles off with his lips, kissing him even as he tried to carry on talking, his lips moving until he realised and kissed him back. He broke the contact and felt the boy's eyelashes brushing against his as soft as the beat of a bird's wings.

Taehyung reached down to grab his own erection and Hoseok saw that there was no need for any lube. The boy was so excited that he had actually leaked and there was a little puddle of cum already pooling on his lower stomach. He knocked his hand aside and took him in his own hand instead, balancing his weight on one elbow. Taehyung gasped at the contact and when he thrust into him again he pumped his wrist in rhythm with his hips.

"Hoseok, Hoseok this feels..." the boy whimpered again and his eyes rolled under his eyelids, "I didn't know it could feel like this." He knew what Taehyung was trying to say, what he was hinting at. He was telling him that all of the times in the past when this had happened, when he had let strangers fuck him for cash, it had never been like this; had been intimate and enjoyable. "I didn't-" Hoseok kissed him again and cut him off before he could start babbling. He wouldn't be able to listen to him talking like that much longer or he was going to finish too quickly and he wanted to enjoy this for as long as he could. The boy allowed him to take control of the kiss, to explore his mouth and down along the side of his throat to discover the rest of his body too. He particularly liked planting little kisses along his collarbones and feeling his pulse skipping under his skin. Hoseok stopped jerking him off so that he could balance his weight out again and go even deeper, a little faster than he had been. When he thrust forward he felt his hips brushing against his, sharp little jut of bone under his soft and thin skin. The boy shifted underneath him and when he slipped in as far as he could go he let out of a cry of pleasure before moving his hands to his biceps again.

"Up, up, sit-" Taehyung pushed on him and so he moved like he told him too, getting up onto his knees and feeling the boy's thighs wrapping around his waist to secure him in place, arms going around his neck tightly. Hoseok moved his hips forward and slightly upwards now and the boy rocked with each one. Taehyung was breathing heavily and he was pretty sure that he was close to climax, hoping that it was so because he wasn't going to last much longer. He increased his rhythm just that little more and then the boy was doing more than whimpering, he was moaning. Sometimes it was just noise, sometimes it was his name. The throbbing in the pit of his stomach was so strong now that he could feel it coursing through the rest of his body, limbs starting to shake and skin starting to tingle.

"Tae, I think I'm-"

"Hoseok, Hoseok say my nuh-name."

"Tae-Taehyung," he said and with that his friend started rocking on him fast and hard, grinding as if he was the one in control. His fingers scratched down his back hard enough to hurt and Hoseok could only grab onto his hips tightly, the pleasure getting too much for him to handle.

"Oh my god!" He was faintly aware of the fact that the boy had said he wasn't going to 'do a Yoongi' and yet he didn't seem able to stop himself from crying out. Hoseok could barely control the noises coming of his own mouth too. Up and down Taehyung rocked, buttocks brushing against his thighs and nails sticking into his skin and then he threw his head back hard. He saw the tendons under his skin and his Adam's Apple moving and he had just moved forward to press his lips against it when Taehyung let out a deep moan and his movements became frantic, almost bucking his hips on him. Hoseok shifted to force him back down on the carriage floor and that was when the boy cried out and arched his back. He felt his chest brushing against his, his entire body seeming to tense up and harden, and then the boy orgamsed with a shout of pleasure; more nail tracks going down his spine from his shoulder blades, Taehyung moaning and shuddering and looking up at him with the most ecstatic expression on his face. That was what made him finally give in to the pleasure and with one final deep thrust he climaxed and felt the breath leaving his lungs in a groan. It felt like an explosion had went off behind his eyelids, a rush of colour and little starbursts like fireworks. He remembered them playing with fireworks all those years back when Yoongi had been set to graduate, the colours and the brightness and yet none of them came close to what he saw being inside of Taehyung. His body quivered with such force that he couldn't even hold himself up and instead just collapsed on top of him. After a moment of silence his friend moved his head and he felt his chin digging into the crown of his hair.

"Are you still thinking about...the pills," he asked in a breathless whisper, as if he didn't want to be overheard; ironic considering what had just occurred.

"...No," Hoseok replied slowly, "I'm...I'm not thinking about the pills. Are you thinking about the booze?"

"Nope," Taehyung said before laughing. He felt the sensation of it bubbling up into his chest and he wanted to press his ear against it and listen to the sound even before it escaped his mouth. "No, I'm just thinking about how much I fucking love you."