Days went by as I, lost in a mix of fear and anxiety, continued to avoid Magnus.

Revelations on the potential my new existence might hold were no help in dictating what I might do next. I now knew how I might use my new position to help others, as my mother had always made clear as my purpose in life. As Dreda had done in her selfless sacrifice. But I did not know one crucial fact. Did I still hold the esteem of the one who could make my plans a reality?

Magnus had not called for the authorities to take me away, but he had also avoided me since the dinner conversation at which I had affirmed my full culpability in the brutal slaughter of his own kind. Surely he understood by now that I had orchestrated the rebellion. I'd all but admitted it outright! Hardly a basis to build a trusting bond. How could he understand the level of horror Dulane had inflicted upon us? Even if I were to reveal all, there was no guarantee it would change anything in his mind.

Magnus was a sibla in the human meat trade. From all I had overheard, that was his family's legacy as well. He had no real reason to trust me any more than his brother did. And when he inevitably came to the same conclusion Torvald had in seeing the threat I posed, what might happen then?

With these questions swirling in my brain, I did my best to simply avoid the man, delaying the inevitable confrontation and the answers I wasn't certain I wanted to face.

Still even more disturbing were the questions I asked in my own self-reflection. What if Magnus was willing to hear me. Take the advice of a human on the purchase and eventual harvest of her own species. Would I finally be condemning myself to become exactly the monster I'd worked so hard to avoid? A greyskin beyond redemption. Even if doing so might be the only way to truly affect any positive influence on my new Master's business, the ramifications were overwhelming if I allowed myself to dwell on them too long.

  To quiet my troubled mind I worked myself as hard as I could considering my continued fatigue and lingering injuries. I could only hope that in proving myself as a truly obedient slave Magnus would overlook my past transgressions. Come to believe that I could be trusted. Maybe in continuing to serve, I could learn to find comfort with my new potential position....

And yet, every night when I returned to the room far too opulent to hold a human, I could not help but fear that this too was a prison, a new form of torture. That I was merely biding time before my execution. Perhaps that was all life had become for humans, farm-bred or free.

Though I was no longer in pain and surrounded by more luxury than I could have dreamed, I felt a similar anxiety nagging at my brain as I'd experienced in my cell. Any day Magnus might come and remove his protection. Any day I might be dragged away to answer for my crimes now that I had confessed. Even if he decided to forgive my past transgressions, in doing so he would only further cement my debt towards him for sparing my life. The idea that I might somehow have any power over his decisions for the future became more ludicrous the more I thought on it.

  But as a full week passed and Magnus did not seek me out, I became more comfortable in my discomfort. I knew what I had to do if given the chance to have influence. I knew too what I would do if I did not.

If I was offered voice in Magnus's new trade? I would speak. If I faced the slaughter before I could attempt such influence? I would accept death willingly, finally finding release from this world as I was meant to in my cell. Having control of my intended reactions to forces I could not predict helped me gain some sense of  power, even if I had none to influence which outcome I would face.

———

    It was nearly two weeks later that I was surprised by a knock on the door to my room. The hour was late, but I'd been unable to sleep, instead, taking up one of the books on a shelf in the guest room and trying to tire my mind enough for true rest. I knew Magnus was the only member of the household who might still be awake and was almost amused by his knocking. This was his estate. I had no rights to privacy. But again I heard the soft rap of a knuckle against wood when I failed to respond. Then the kindly voice followed.

            "Alice, may I come in?"

  A chuckle escaped my lips at the absurdity of his manor. So cautious, so respectful. As if I was one worthy of such courtesy. I'd worried for days that our next meeting might be punctuated by a knife and here he was still treating me with unheard of kindness. The absurdity was both humorous and unnerving all at the same time.

            "Of course, Magnus Kendrick," I answered. "This is your home. I'm quite certain you can do whatever you wish."

            The door opened a moment later at my invitation and I found myself searching his face for any sign of ill news. But strangely I saw nothing in his gaze but sorrow.

            "Please don't speak so," he said, taking a seat across from me beside the fire I'd set in the hearth "I fully intend to build you your own quarters, Alice. A home that will belong to you."

            The words were even more absurd than his affect of care. My own home? Was he truly oblivious enough to ignore all the mistakes I'd made? To overlook the danger of keeping a human as volatile as myself? I knew well that I was unredeemable. That, no matter how optimistic this man's thoughts now, it was only a matter of time before he saw it. I answered the only way I could think to answer. With the truth.

            "I belong to you."

            The sibla man looked down at his hands and shook his head.

            "I wanted to give you freedom," he said, wistfully staring into the flames beside us. "That night by the fire, that's all I thought of. I wanted to see you released from slavery!"

            Another laugh escaped my lips. One drawn of true disbelief mixed with relief and exhaustion. I'd spent an entire week reflecting on the untenable nature of freedom for one like myself. Imagining all the potential ends I might face at the hands of this man and his elk. How deserving I would be of whatever death might come. And yet here was a sibla offering me full absolution. One convinced I was worthy of freedom though I knew the truth was far more complicated. Perhaps I truly might still hold sway over Magnus Kendrick.

            "I am a slave," I answered evenly, hoping I might make him understand the reality he seemed oblivious to. If we were to speak candidly, he had to hear the truth. "I was born a slave and I will die a slave. I never asked for freedom."

            The confusion in Magnus's expression only intensified at my answer. I could practically see the wheels of his mind turning as he tried to make sense of what should have been so obvious. 

            "You and you fellows rebelled against your Master," he protested. "You burned his estate to the ground. You personally stabbed him in the heart!"

            "I did all that," I agreed, mirth fully erased from my tone. I knew he might not comprehend, but I was determined to explain as best I could.  " I did not do so for freedom. I wanted revenge. I wanted Cedrick Dulane to pay for his crimes. The only reward I anticipated was the chance to see him suffer. The only freedom I expected was that which death would offer in releasing my soul from this existence of pain. Now that you have spared my life, I know it belongs to you entirely."

            There it was, the truth laid bare. My mission was complete and if I was gifted more borrowed time in this life, it was already dedicated to Magnus Kendrick and my fellow humans. There was no other way I could reconcile my continued existence. And yet the sibla man continued to surprise me.

            "You owe me nothing, Alice." The sincerity in his eyes was undeniable as he forced my gaze. "If not for you I would be dead twice over. Don't you see? It is I who owe you. And though I would've been willing to let you live out the rest of your days idly in payment for my debt, in the short time you have been here you have proven yourself indispensable and clearly shown that an idle life is not one you would enjoy. Thus I humbly entreat you to work for me. In return, I will compensate you."

            "I am not certain there has ever been a sibla willing to provide compensation to a human being for anything," I answered, awestruck by his words. "You do seem to have quite a bit of faith in me. I am not certain I am worthy."

             In fact I knew I was not. I did not deserve his mercy though I was grateful for it. But perhaps my plans to influence the man were more plausible than I'd first believed. He seemed fully willing to trust and if that was the case, perhaps he would be easier to manipulate than I could have imagined. I would never betray this man's faith in me, but if he was truly offering me the level of power he seemed to imply, I might just have more of a chance to make an impact on his industry than I'd truly believed possible.

            "I am not mistaken in my judgment," Magnus answered as if there was nothing unusual about a sibla man treating a human as an individual with autonomy. "But if you are to remain on my estate, I do wish to make one thing clear."

            A catch. And yet his words were already fulfilling more than my most outlandish hopes. I felt my brows knit in confusion. "And that is?"

            "You will never be as a slave to me, Alice," he said. "You will have free-reign here as if you were one of my own kind. Is that understood?"

            Impossible. Never had I imagined this level of respect. I was an animal. I'd been taught that from the moment of birth. It had been beaten into me again and again until the scars were indelibly marked in my flesh. And as kind as his offer was, I could see his ignorance shining through. He could proclaim whatever he wished and revoke that pledge just as easily. Yet, for the moment, I had his word.

            "If that is your command, Master, I have no choice but to obey," I answered. A grin played at the edge of my lips. Mirth born of incredulity, still unable to fully process the impossibility of what he offered now. Both unable to imagine that he could truly be so naive to believe his own words and at the same time giddy with the possibilities before me. A frown of frustration overtook his expression and I felt guilt in seeing how hurt he was by my response.

            "I am sincere," he insisted. "Why do you mock me?"

            My smile faded. It had not been my intention to seem disrespectful nor reject his sincerity, but he had to understand.

             "I do not mock you, Magnus Kendrick," I answered. "I only wish you to understand reality. I can't imagine why you have chosen to be so kind to me, though I am grateful for it, but in this world I am an animal. I accept that fact and all the realities that come with it."

            I watched as he took in my words though I knew he could not truly comprehend them. He was a wealthy sibla man, born to privilege. How could he possibly understand what it was to be born as one "less than"? As a creature who, in spite of language and education, regardless of intelligence or merit, would never be granted rights or safety.

            "If you are sincere in all you pledge however," I continued, "I will make you a promise in return. I will serve you faithfully for the rest of my days. As long as you will it."

            I could see the wheels turning in his mind as he tried to process my words. I continued before he had the chance to interrupt me.

            "From what I have gathered, you intend to expand your holdings, yes? " I asked. "Venture into the human trade?"

            Magnus seemed taken aback by my comment and I was surprised by it. How could he proclaim his faith in my intelligence but believe I had remained ignorant this entire time. I'd seen the slave hall under construction. I knew exactly why he'd come to my former Master's estate. I even knew the names of the poor souls who'd been designated to be fattened by him for eventual slaughter. The humans that would have been carted off in chains to his estate were it not for Dulane's treachery and our rebellion.

             I was grateful that he chose not to lie.  Magnus nodded in response, acknowledging his plans though the guilt on his face quite clear.

            "You needn't look so ashamed," I assured him.  "I have no delusions that you see others of my kind as any different than a cow or pig. Perhaps one day your vision towards me will clear again and I will seem the same." The effect of my words was immediate.

            "That is not so," Magnus protested, denying though I knew no denial would make me truly believe. I  held up a hand to stop him. If he would give me the chance to speak I would tell him my mind.

            "Regardless," I said, leading him away from the more sensitive topic of his plans for me personally. "The trade in human flesh is profitable, the use of slaves exceedingly helpful in alleviating financial burden. You are not responsible for the world and have every right to take advantage. Why should you not become as successful as your brother?"

            Magnus's shock was entirely undisguised now and I couldn't help but smile, pleased that my observations would indeed offer me leverage over one who had, for all his purported support, entirely underestimated me.

            "As I told you that night," I said, "I am quite observant. I have garnered an idea of who your brother is. A truly powerful man, yes? You could be as well, Magnus. Though my Master was an evil creature, he was quite adept at making money and I have observed him and those in his employ for many years. I can help you."

            The sibla continued to stare in rapt attention and I felt my confidence growing.

            "I have seen the lands you have here," I said, "the potential you have. Let me care for those you purchase. I will watch over your human slaves and home. You can focus on the aspects of your farm you already successfully manage. The Kendrick name is great, but you will soon claim just as much of its prestige as your brother. I will help you. That is how I will repay my debt."

            And make up for my complicity in the death of so many others, I thought to myself. I would convince him to rescue poor souls like Rebecca. Offer them comfort and safety for the rest of their days. Just as Dreda had worked so hard to do for the children entrusted into her care.

            Magnus continued to stare at me in awe. Perhaps he could not quite imagine a human willingly offering to help with his trade. But he did not understand what I had already been through. What life was truly like for a human. There was nowhere on earth I might have more power to effect change than under his protection.

            "And you will not grow to resent me for keeping your fellow humans as livestock?" Magnus asked finally, after sitting with my words in silence for an uncomfortably long moment.

The sincerity in his question was comical. How could I possibly resent a man who would have the level of self-reflection to ask such a thing? My entire life I had been beaten to submission, told I would never have any power and forced to proclaim my gratitude for that fact. The idea of serving one who might care for my emotional comfort was a gift of unfathomable magnitude.

            "That depends," I said, pursing my lips in thought as if truly considering his query. "Do you intend to become a cruel master? One who might abuse his slaves with no provocation and maliciously slaughter their children or friends as punishment for whatever you deem a worthy offense? Make your livestock live in fear every day and come to belief that death would indeed serve as a welcome escape from the horror of life?"

            Magnus appeared dumbfounded as I laid bare the tortures I'd faced along with my fellows. I wondered what he thought had been the cause of our rebellion if not atrocities horrible enough to motivate even the most downtrodden to action. But in spite of his ignorance, I could also see his clear disgust as I spoke of Dulane's torture. I nonetheless kept my gaze hard in response to his silence.

            "Answer the question," I said.

            "I could never do the things you suggest," Magnus insisted, the words spilling from his lips at my prompting. "Please believe that! The idea that any could is unimaginable to me and —"

            He stopped as my laughter interrupted his words. Perhaps it was delirium but it was humorous to watch a sibla try to defend himself to me as if I was anyone of importance.

            "Of course not," I answered shaking my head and attempting to relieve his distress. "You are a good man, Magnus Kendrick and I will be grateful to serve you, for already I can see in your response that you could never be the sort of monster Dulane was. If you can make a successful business treating your slaves with respect and dignity you will help prove the viability of such practices. That is an endeavor I will be glad to aid. The sibla are unlikely to abandon their taste for human flesh, but perhaps the world could be made a kinder place for my species."

            He stared at me for a moment in silence before extending his hand.

            "We will work together," he agreed.

            I looked at his outstretched arm in confusion.

            "This is a pact," Magnus said. "My father taught me that a man was only as good as his handshake. It seems fitting that we might seal our partnership."

            A pact. The likes of which sibla offered to others of their kind. A voluntary agreement. Impossible and yet here he was, offering me his hand. 

"You are a fascinating creature, Magnus Kendrick," I said, wondering if my incredulity was entirely transparent. I certainly didn't wish to offend him. But Magnus only smiled back, his large grey hand wrapping around mine

            "As are you, Alice," he replied. "May our partnership be long and true."

            "Partnership between a sibla and a human," I said, still trying to make sense of the absurdity. "No one will ever believe it possible."

-----------

So the pact is struck! The "partnership" established. This is the last "peek into the past" scene the reader saw in After Humanity...But what happened next? There are still 3 chapters to finish off this book. How did it go with Alice's first "flock" of humans?... New chapter will be posted Monday!