With a focused goal, my world was changed entirely. Once the spark of rebellion was sparked it became my obsession. Visions of my daughter that night came to me just the same, but now I saw a flame in Mary's eyes. A burning passion, raising her gaze from the dead with some strange vengeance-fueled necromancy.
   
When I went to Dulane I found the act of servitude grow a bit easier day by day . Every slap or harsh word just stoking the fire within me as I concealed my resolve behind a facade of weakness.

    In the kitchen I found myself observing my fellows all the more, assessing which might be brought to my new cause. I was suddenly grateful for my new station, so diminished in power. I was assigned menial tasks but also generally ignored. As I scrubbed the floors and cleaned the ovens I was able to keep my ears pricked. No longer anyone important, the others were less weary in my presence. And then, of course, there were the trips to my mate.
   
As I'd suspected, Dulane was determined to ensure Gregory's seed was planted in my womb. His petty act of vengeance ended up offering us more time to forge our unlikely alliance. Locked in the shed we had the chance to talk, sheltered from any prying eyes or ears. Though we kept our voices low, moving on the creaky bed to give the illusion of mating should any attempt to spy, we were able to speak candidly with less fear than I'd ever believed possible.
   
The trust between us was tentative at first. I told Gregory of my pain, my plans, and he, in turn, shared more about the life of the breeding males, vowing to take our discussions back to them and spread the message of revolt I true means of action could be found.
   
Never before had I considered the horrors of life for the males on our estate as I did in hearing Gregory's tales of his youth. The daily beatings, the constant threat of death. So many of his scars were nearly faded now, but he could recount how each and every one had been imprinted upon his skin.
   
Somehow I'd never noticed how much of his flesh was pitted with cuts and white lines of pain. When lying with the males I had always done so much to separate myself from the experience. In doing so I had completely overlooked the clear signs of abuse. The stories Gregory told were just as horrific as anything I had experienced in my lifetime.

    "Prospective breeding males are only four when they are first taken to witness the gelding of other boys," he explained.
    
I remembered the lack of male toddlers in the nursery and felt an uncomfortable churning in my stomach.

    "Overseers keep them on leashes to make sure none try to run or turned from the sight," he continued. They are forced to watch their fellows struggling and screaming in agony before being quickly bandaged, and packed into cages for fattening. They will stay there until they face the knife.

    "The overseers make it clear to all that this will be their fate if they do not live up to the standards expected of them."

    I thought of the sweet young children I'd helped care for in the nursery. Those kept safe and comforted for as long as Dreda could manage it. I couldn't imagine a boy as young as four being forced to witness such horror all alone, attended only by threatening sibla, waiting to make their nightmares reality should they make even the slightest mistake. Dreda's comment from so long ago echoed in my ears.

    "I'm grateful my male babies were all ended before they could be destroyed so."

     For the first time, I truly understood.

    "The ritual is completed each year until we reached maturity," he continued. "Every time more males are culled from the line and new, younger boys added to the group of perspective animals who might be allowed to pass on their seed."

    His eyes grew distant. I was certain I saw the threat of tears within them.

    "We were only ten."

    "We?"

    "Daniel," he answered, voice quiet. "We were like brothers. He'd helped me through some of the roughest times and I'd done the same for him. They never did like us to have friends-"

    He stopped and I let him, not wanting to force a painful story but also shocked to see this strong human male look so broken. I was eager to hear what could inspire a crack in his facade.

    "I always wondered if it was my fault Daniel didn't make it. That they chose to keep only one of us lest we continued to grow any closer."

    I didn't answer, now guessing at this story's end. From what I knew of Dulane's methods this seemed perfectly likely.

    "One minute he was standing next to me and the next, they'd dragged him and another young boy from our group. I remember seeing the look of shock on his face. How he turned back to look me in the eye as they pulled at the collar on his neck. The batons came down hard as soon as he showed any sign of resistance and he was soon walking forward in a strange, trance-like gate.

    "Amidst the screams and tears of the other boys, they ordered Daniel to strip. I remember standing frozen in horror. I knew it could happen to any of us. The Overseers had always made that clear but somehow I didn't understand how real the danger was until that day. I watched as they forced Daniel onto one of their metal tables, already covered in blood. As they held him down, stuffing a piece of cloth in his mouth to muffle the sound of his screams. As they took hold of him and then-"

    He stopped again, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

    "When it was done, Daniel could barely stand. He'd lost a lot of blood and he must have been in shock from the pain, but I guess the sibla know how to complete the procedure without causing too much damage. They still managed to get him into a cage along with a few other boys. And of course, we all know what happens after that."

    Gregory was quiet again. As I stared at the man who had used my body so many times I felt nothing but grief for his suffering. He hadn't asked for the life he'd been born to. He'd had no choice in what he'd done. Had he not produced offspring, he would have faced the same fate as his friend. Even now, after a lifetime of suffering and service, his end would be no different from that which faced all used up stock. One day he too would be destined for the slaughterhouse.
   
It seemed impossible that the sibla would manage to keep us all complacent in this cruelty. Fear kept us from protest but I was determined that I would not allow that to stop me any longer. If I was to die, I would take as many sibla with me as I could. I would gain revenge on Dulane. For Mary, for my mother, for Daniel, for all the many nameless human faces that girl, had been born and tortured in the name of my Master's greed and cruelty.   

    "I am sorry for your friend," I said, placing a hand on his arm in hopes of offering some comfort.

    Gregory nodded once. "It was a long time ago now," he answered. "In the end, from the group of ten selected in my breeding year, only five were eventually permitted to mate. Only three of those five still live. I am one of them."

    A survivor. Like I was a survivor. I thought back to the times I had been forced to lie with Gregory. Never once had he beaten me like the others. He'd been almost gentle. Not to the degree I might have taken note in the past. Every male was much the same. I would lie on a bed and they would force themselves upon me. Those who enjoyed beating or demeaning their mates were of course less pleasant to face in the shed, but all used me and I had never thought much about differentiating them as individuals.

    In the end, the process of mating was designed to keep both the males and females from recognizing one another as something more than a body. As the wheels of my mind turned I was disgusted to see how Dulane's evil operation had forced even us to see other humans as nothing more than animals. But we were not sheep. We didn't have to act as them.

    "Gregory," I said, "can't you see what Dulane has done? How he has used each and every one of us? We have no choice but to fight back. We are destined for death no matter what we do. We could make them pay. You need only convince the other males to join us. Surely all have stories like yours." I could see him hesitate as he had when I had brought up the subject of rebellion before.

    "There is no one that can be trusted, Alice," he answered. "Death might be my future, but if you had only seen what happened to the boys who resisted."

    The pure terror in his eyes at the memory was undisguised, bred of so much trauma. But of course I had seen pain and horror in my lifetime as well. I'd been the victim all too often myself. It didn't matter.

    "It is that fear they rely upon to keep us from trusting," I answered. But you and I have learned to trust, yes? You know I will not report you and I have faith that you will keep my secret as well. They have used our fear against us but we could use that same tactic to come together. You will not report me because I could report you and vice versa. What if we could similarly enlist more? Form an alliance of those who realize that rebellion is better than anything Dulane and his overseers might offer? Imagine it, Gregory! We outnumber the sibla on this estate at least three to one. We could fight back!"

    "And if we fail?" he asked. I could see his own mind was turning now, trying to assess my words, struggling with his desire to give in and accept them.

    "No amount of pain they inflict upon us can be worse than what we have already faced," I said brazenly. "And even through suffering at least we will know that we perished fighting for what was right.

    "Imagine putting the knife to one who cut your friend. One who did so all to one day eat Daniel's flesh knowing full well he would spend his final days in pain and darkness. They deserve to face our wrath for what they have done. We need only summon the courage to take the revenge that is rightfully ours."

    In that moment I saw it, the same flame that burned inside me from the moment I'd chosen to take a stand. Gregory's expression, stoic but determined.

    "I will do what I can," he said.